Friday, August 23, 2013

(93) The cheetah, the penis and the wrong Batman + links

By Sati. Friday, August 23, 2013
  • Before I get all upset and sweary regarding new Batman, let's get everything else out of the way.
  • We have new The Counselor trailer. I really like the song, which apparently is Awolnation - Sail, which is 3 years old but it's the first time I'm hearing it. I don't live in a cave or something, but the only music I listen to is Lana Del Rey, soundtracks and everything that I think sounds like it could be heard on the streets of small cities of Louisiana and Ireland. The other music playing in previous trailers was much darker and energetic, so I dug that but Sail makes the trailer feel really elegant and somewhat sinister. I like the trailer mostly because we got to see more of Cameron Diaz. She is going to be awesome in this and I love her earrings, her hair style and eye make up, so that's a big plus too. I also love that Bardem is visibly scared shitless of her when she tells him about axe going through the door. My favorite moments shown so far is from the previous trailer, the frantic shot of Malkina on the car:
  • Today it was announced the movie will be rated R which makes me think we won't see the car scene actually play out, because that would give the movie very justified NC-17 rating.
  • This is how huge Breaking Bad is - Dean Norris, who plays Hank, is in this trailer for a second and people go nuts. The movie also features Natalie Dormer in a small, but fun role.
  • Speaking of Natalie, it was announced that she joined the cast of The Hunger Games: Mockingjay. She will play Cressida "a Capitol director who joins the rebellion to film propaganda shorts about Katniss in order to energize the rebels." Well, I do hate The Hunger Games, but I will see that just for her.
  • Marion Cotillard replaced Natalie Portman in new Macbeth movie where Fassy will play Macbeth. This is just superb. Portman is way too innocent and well, childish, to pull this off and Marion plays wonderful villains, The Dark Knight Rises aside. Let's just hope Fassbender stays on board of this one.
  • Some new photos emerged from Long Walk to Freedom. Are they serious with this make up? This is worse than J. Edgar. It's not about it being old age make up - it's about it being a ridiculous, horribly fake old age make up. It's as if someone shat on Mona Lisa.
  • Speaking of Idris, he has new movie lined up called Beasts of No Nation. Apparently it's based on the book. That is the extent of my knowledge on that subject.
  • Rambo is getting a TV series and James Franco will have his own reality show. This is the penalty for the sins of this world.
  • Things took turn for the worse this week as my studying of pointless bullshit I forget after 3 days anyways legal acts is now taking more hours a day than I actually spend on sleeping. I haven't even seen new Breaking Bad yet. It's a great show but it's not like Game of Thrones where I would literally have to see new episode live no matter what was going on the day after, and when it airs it's the middle of the night here. 
  • There are actual paragraphs about bee hives in the civil law code. This is a fucking nightmare.
  • Meanwhile, Gustav has spent all week long being extra friendly to people. Normally he just jumps on them and wiggles his tail when they pet him but lately he started taking it to another level. As soon as someone starts playing with him he turns over on his back and lies there as if he was in porn movie, waiting for someone to rub his tummy. I used the phrase "stop exposing yourself to strangers!" 10 times this week alone and it's only Friday. He also refuses to sleep on his bed and finds all sorts of possible spots to take a nap on.
  • The only film I managed to see this week was We're the Millers. I gave it 5/10 since it was only slightly amusing and forgettable. Kathryn Hahn and Nick Offerman rescued the movie. Emma Roberts sucks so much, I hope her character dies somewhere in the beginning of new American Horror Story. It's bad enough she got the job because of her boyfriend but in addition she is also a terrible actress.
  • Last week I had a dream with Alexander Skarsgard and me taking a shower together. This week I had a dream Mads Mikkelsen tried to eat me. Literally. Still, it's preferable to me having dreams where I read legal acts. That is just psychotic.
  • Let's talk about True Blood finale. This is the new definition of stupid. You ask me to define stupid, I'll screen you that finale. Good Lord, it's like the writers dropped more acid than usual while writing this one. Time jumps, making pointless villain even more pointless and dumb, Bill writing a book, vampire volleyball, fucking hell!
  • Wait, it gets better - the finale was so bad that it even managed to ruin Alexander Skarsgard's full frontal nudity. Seriously. First of all - you use that moment to do some stupid cliffhanger whether or not he lives or dies? Second of all - you ruin that cliffhanger 2 days later when you have the writer state Eric is alive and obviously human intelligence - which the writers of this show do not have - tells you they simply didn't know if Skarsgard will come back to do that shitty show next year so they shot it just in case and now it's just a lame ass cliffhanger with no tension and no logic? Third of all - Eric actually fucking flown to Sweden with a lounge chair and a book to sunbathe naked on top of the mountain? Fourth of all - you just know that the fan theory that to prevent burning any more Eric buried himself in the snow will not be half as retarded as whatever the writers will eventually come up with to solve that fiasco.
  • And what is up with all those people complaining his penis is uncut? I'm European. It's normal here. That is what we see around here. I don't mean guys with their dicks out on the streets, but you know what I mean. This is how the Lord intended it. Let's just be glad we saw it and pretend it was under different circumstances in much less moronic show.
  • In really bad news, Paul W.S. Anderson is ready to unleash new shit on this world and it's called Pompeii. The fact that Jon Snow aka Kit Harington is in it is not that shocking, he only does crappy stuff outside of Game of Thrones. But what the hell happened to Emily Browning's career? She is better than that. Unfortunately she is in it, so I'm gonna have to watch this one. 
  • In another really bad news we have a new Batman and it's one of the worst casting decisions in a long while. It's Ben Affleck. Had they chosen Gosling or Brolin it would have been bad, but Affleck? The people behind this movie should really hang out with True Blood writers since they are both taking potentially fun things and ruining them with their terrible decision making. With Snyder as a director there was a slim chance the film will be good but with Darefuckingdevil as Batman?
  • Again let me fall into the state of shock and amazement that things like that happen when Idris Elba and Richard Armitage exist and would probably be up for playing the part.
  • This decision is so catastrophic it once again knocked Affleck to the pit of ridicule. He won people's hearts in Oscar season and now he is back into Gigli category. The only positive here is that if the film is worse than Batman & Robin maybe Joel Schumacher will finally catch a break. I really can't believe Affleck took the part. He is back in the ridicule town, perhaps permanently. Taking a part of iconic character is always risky because nerds are truly passionate and unstable - look at me, I'm not even planning on seeing this movie in theater and yet I bitch about it. Even if actor is right for the part people complain but when he is wrong - and a huge step down from previous actor who played the character - things go crazy. I mean there is already a petition to choose another actor for Batman instead of him.

  • links:
    • Ruth wrote an amusing post that contains the examples of outrage Affleck casting created 
    • Meanwhile, Nick and Keith defend the casting.
    • MettelRay shares very cool intro to The Newsroom
    • Jack did an appreciation post for Andrew Garfield and his work in Never let me Go
    • in his awesome In Character series, Alex features wonderful James Cromwell
    • Eric and Brittani review Magic Magic
    • m.brown reviews The Wolverine
    RELATED POSTS:
     

    35 comments:

    1. Good write up. Oh gosh, I loved the "Meanwhile, over at Marvel", so true :)

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      1. Yeah, I bet those guys are pretty happy with that screw up :)

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    2. Thanks for the link love and adorable Gustav pics!

      I love that last pic of the guys at Marvel, that's what I thought their reaction would be, ahah.

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      1. You're welcome! :)

        I keep waiting for someone to announce that casting news was a joke.

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    3. Your link literally made my blog send me a note that my views spiked up.. well, thanks!!

      I'm hoping to write a review of What Maisie Knew this week so there actually something worth linking though I really like my Newsroom intro post.. just, it had less effort put into it than my regular reviews.

      Anyway, Affleck as the new Batman - wtf!
      Haven't seen True Blood yet but I already know it's going to be epic stupid!

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      1. See, I told you it would help! :)

        I want to see this movie, I heard Alex is cute in it <3

        TB has reached new levels of dumb in this finale :/

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      2. Alex in a different element in this and though I was a bit hesitant at first, cause he looked stoned most of the time, I grew to like him in the end.

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      3. Stoned? That may be interesting :)

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    4. All I can about what's coming ahead in True Blood is this... FUCK THIS SHOW!!!! They ruined Alexander Skarsgard's full-frontal nude scene. I will never forgive them for that.

      That trailer for The Counselor is awesome.

      I'm getting heat from fans at a Natalie Portman fan forum over the fact that I think Marion Cotillard is a better actress than Natalie. Well... she is. She can play the bitch and actually do nude scenes w/o being uncomfortable.

      Ben Affleck as Batman... sorry, I'm not buying that. I like the guy but no...

      http://www.memegeneokerlund.com/media/created/w1yq1m.jpg

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      1. Same here. That was a terrible scene.

        It really is! Hopefully the film will be awesome too!

        Well, she kinda is :) More charismatic, talented, versatile....

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    5. That new trailer for The Counselor is tops. Love it. Marion and Fass in Macbeth is just perfect.

      Thanks so much for the link and kind words!

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      1. You're welcome, I loved your post!

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    6. I feel like I'm the only person in the world to defend Affleck's casting. And I'll fight to the grave with that fact. Needless to say, your hatred for the news is very entertaining- so thank you for that. I also can't stand how True Blood ended. I'm shocked I still watch the show, but it keeps drawing me in. I hope Eric doesn't die, not because he's the hot one from the north, but because he's one of the only characters with well.. character. For a long time I wanted the show to be the Jason and Jessica show, and now I just want to see Northman and Stackhouse (Jason of course) go on crazy worldly adventures. The North Man and the Jock? Great sitcom there.
      And you mentioned that Kit Karrington does nothing good outside of Game of Thrones, but do you even like him on GoT? I think he's an absolutely terrible actor and I hate that a fan favorite like Snow is played by someone with absolutely no talent. All of the other young actors have gotten a lot better as the show has gone on (which is how it usually works), but he feels so far behind it's disgusting.

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      1. Well, you're not, as the links section shows :) And thank you for those arguments for Affleck being a good choice, I found those very entertaining indeed :)

        That would be great. Jason and Eric are hilarious together!

        Well, I meant that GoT is a great project as opposed to the crapfest he is involved outside of it. I wouldn't call him a terrible actor, I think him and Emilia Clarke are far from the talent and quality of other performances but Harington improved A LOT in season 3.

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    7. I'm in such an isolated category when it comes to superhero movies, it's no surprise to me that everyone hates Ben as Batman. I hated Avengers, really liked Man of Steel, and grew up loving Daredevil (dare I admit that!!). Ben is a better director than actor, but I think he has it in him to surprise people.

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      1. Daredevil is hilarious, I often watch it as a comedy, actually :)

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    8. "Meanwhile at Marvel! ... Hah! I love it.

      My dogs strike that porn pose, too, when they're trying to get attention and belly rubs. It's mildly disturbing. :-D

      Love the shower dream.

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      1. Yes, it really is :) Then he is annoyed if we don't pay attention to him :)

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    9. LOL at that last picture! Oh my God, I'm so glad no one else is in the office today, I laughed way too hard at that. I don't even know what to say about True Blood anymore. The sad thing is, I'll never stop watching it either. I love Emily Browning (thank you for linking my Magic Magic review!), so I'll end up seeing Pompeii as well. Those abs look painted on Kit. I'm sorry, I just don't believe those are all his. I think I'm a little embarrassed to say I'd watch the shit out of a James Franco reality show. That would be fascinating.

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      1. It's so accurate :)

        Emily is fantastic, she really deserves much better roles, I can't wait to see Magic Magic!

        Yeah it looks....impossible :) But who knows, maybe he worked out constantly.

        Same here! :)

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    10. I don't know why but the trailers for "The Counselor" aren't really doing anything for me... though I'm very excited for it with the breadth of talent that will be displayed. Still wish it wasn't Cami D but Angie playing that role though; she would have killed it.

      Ben Affleck is a decent enough actor but not a terribly exciting one. I just don't understand how this was even made possible.

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      1. I think Diaz will be great, Jolie would have been a bit too obvious of a choice, plus the last time Diaz played a sociopath - in Vanilla Sky - was fantastic.

        They probably counted on the fact the goodwill from Oscar season will last even if he has to be an actor not a director. They were wrong.

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    11. News about Affleck being Bats hasn't made me wretch or jump for joy. I'll wait and see how the project goes. Certainly, this bit of casting has made enough noise in terms of the media. That's what the studio needs and wants, right?

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      1. To be fair any noise is a good noise, but the fact people out there already hate the movie can't be good. I'll only see it for Cranston if he indeed plays Lex Luthor.

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    12. So excited about the Macbeth casting news! Fingers crossed for Oscar nominations! :)

      Wait... there's going to be a Rambo show? I'd rather see Pompeii.

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      1. I hope the movie will be good, it's such a great story!

        Yep, same here :)

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    13. I don't understand people who use the argument .. Ben Affleck has won Oscars for screen writing and director ... like that's a criteria for playing Batman.

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      1. Exactly, he still isn't a very good actor no matter how many Oscars he has for different stuff he did.

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    14. Thanks for the link!

      That Marvel image at the bottom is classic. I don't know how anyone thought casting Ben Affleck was a good idea... I'm just not buying him as Batman.

      Hope you've been able to catch up on Breaking Bad since this post. Shit's been getting crazy! :)

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      1. You're welcome!

        Yeah, it's so awful. I could easily think of 5 better guys for the part.

        I'm actually gonna wait till the end and watch the whole season at once :)

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    15. I'm old enough to remember almost exactly the same things being said about Affleck as Batman being said when Michael Keaton was cast as Batman and when Tobey Maguire was cast as Spider-Man. Sometimes an unconventional choice works. And I'd suggest checking out Affleck's performance in Hollywoodland as the aging actor George Reeves - TV's Superman. The movie's a little uneven as a whole, but Affleck gives a respectful performance and is the best thing about it.

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      1. To be fair Burton did good movies back then and Raimi usually does entertaining films. Here we have Snyder who has yet to make a good movie. The last films he did were tremendous waste of money and talent - obviously not his, but other people involved in the project. This is a guy who managed to direct Shannon to a terrible performance. And that's Michael freaking Shannon we are talking about.

        Yes, but for one good performance Affleck has 5 bad ones. If a good director were behind this movie it would have a shot of working. The way things are now I won't be surprised if Cranston can't do anything decent in that film.

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      2. "Here we have Snyder who has yet to make a good movie."

        Well, I very strongly disagree with this, but then I've never been one to hang with the cool kids when it comes to the fashionable trends in hating certain filmmakers.

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      3. Good Lord, man. You need to chill with the comments like that - you are coming off as a person who really wants to go against the tide so you bend the reality to your liking. W

        hich movie is allegedly good? Watchmen? Well, hate to break it to ya but there is plenty of people who like this one so it looks like you may just be in the 'fashionable trend'.

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      4. "you are coming off as a person who really wants to go against the tide so you bend the reality to your liking."

        Actually, that was my senior year roommate in college. :-) He loved a band until they showed up on a cheesy TV show then he literally never listened to them again and couldn't understand why I still liked them.

        In retrospect I can seem how my prior comment, combined with my comment on Pacific Rim, can give that impression. It never occurred to me while I was making them.

        I freely admit that my comment here was intended to be sarcastic about the sheer amount of hatred Snyder has been able to attract in 10 short years of making films. Sorry if it came off as deluded or misguided.

        Watchmen would indeed be an example I would offer up for a good Snyder film. I didn't mention it in the earlier comment precisely because I didn't want to start a back and forth - which has failed. :-)

        I know that I like it a lot and you would not be able to sway me, and I know from prior exchanges that when you like something you really like it and when you hate something you really hate it, so nothing I could write would ever be able to sway you, either. So it seemed like nothing good could come from listing examples. That was my mistake.

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