Friday, October 18, 2013

(101) The judgement for the Carrie remake has come. Eternal shame to follow + links

By Sati. Friday, October 18, 2013
  •  The hideous and unholy abomination aka Carrie remake was released today. Its RT score is dropping fast and I'm reading all the scathing reviews. Can Chloe Moretz just go away? I think everyone involved in Kick Ass should be ashamed of themselves for eternity but her asinine comments comparing Carrie remake to Black Swan crossed the line. Just...go away. Fortunately with three of her new movies bombing this year I may get my wish.
  • I'm obviously going to see that remake. Only so I could rip it apart here and officially question Julianne Moore's state of mind. She used to be a good actress. In good movies. Not whorish cash grabs.
  • As predicted, Javier Bardem's expression in The Counselor during the car scene is going to be hilarious:
  •  American Horror Story: Coven was awesome this week. How the hell is Angela Bassett 55 years old? She looks so much younger!
  • We got two new posters this week that are worth mentioning. First one is a really lovely poster for The Grand Budapest Hotel. Another is a fucking hilarious poster for August: Osage County. Seriously,. I can't stop laughing while looking at this one. Just look at Meryl Streep's face. And Margo Martindale's arm is where Ewan McGregor's penis is which is also so funny.
  • The trailer for the movie is fairly cute. I'm probably going to hate it, as Anderson's movies are more often than not miss and not hit for me, but Fiennes in lighter material sounds great.
  • Gustav has a new haircut - once again it took an hour for him to get it, Jesus, that poor woman has the most frustrating job in the world. It's also officially autumn here so he is wearing his coat and he is taking a lot of naps.
  • I saw four movies this week which I think is more than I saw during whole last month.
  • I saw The Lone Ranger and while it sucked, it didn't suck as much as I thought it will. The reviews for this one were much too harsh - sure Depp is a whore and he is doing his usual shtick but he is still funny. The production values were nice and that horse was hilarious. I gave it 4/10, same as I did with The Way, Way Back which was just retarded beyond belief. Sam Rockwell and Alison Janney made it watchable.
  • I also saw two movies with Mads - Adam's Apples, thanks to my friends recommendation via text ("nobody kills his dog or throws fucking cans at him in this one") and After the Wedding. What my friend failed to mention is how Mads is getting his ass kicked like 5 times in this movie. It's a pitch black comedy which was really fascinating and so funny it actually made me feel dirty - damn, Danes seem to have really...odd sense of humour. The thing above with the cat getting shot was so ridiculous I kept laughing and feeling terrible for laughing. Good Lord I laughed for at least a minute. I may review this one.
  • I very much enjoyed After the Wedding. Obviously. I mean wow. Mads plays this guy who is taking care of the kids and he is all sensitive and cute and OK I'm gonna stop typing about that cause I'm gonna boil my brain. I didn't find this movie to be worthy of this much praise, though - it was nominated for Best Foreign Oscar - probably because the twist was a bit too contrived to come off as believable.
  • There is so much hilarious stuff happening regarding 50 Shades of Grey adaptation. Charlie Hunnam has left the project. I'm not surprised. Apparently they were only going to pay him 125,000$. Are they kidding? Only this much for him to show his dick and star in something that will follow him till he dies and on his death bed regrets starring in this crap? Anyways, there are several people in the running now - including Scott Eastwood (The son of Clint, this is so fucking funny) and Alexander Skarsgard. Last several seasons of True Blood were awful but I had no idea Skarsgard's standards are that low.

  • links:
    • Dan reviews Carrie 2013 and gives it 2/10
    • Chris reviews masterful Assassination of Jesse Jame
    • Josh lists 10 Acting Contenders We Might Be Overlooking for Oscar
    • Jack reviews Filth
    • Brittani reviews The Impossible
    • Alex shares Top 30 Things I Love About Se7en (that no one else talks about)
    • Ruth and Keith review Captain Phillips
    • m.brown reviews The World's End
    • Jack reviews new episode of American Horror Story: Coven


    RELATED POSTS:
     

    33 comments:

    1. so you might have a slight dislike for little Moretz? I like her, and although she may not have been the right choice as Carrie, I'm excited to see if she even does the character with little justice - as for Moore, well, we all know she is going to be amazing. Ps. I love how you don't follow the mainstream audiences (The Way, way back was critically acclaimed), Love it.

      ReplyDelete
      Replies
      1. She can be good, but she made a career out of swearing and being outrageous in movies and capitalizing on someone else's success with all those unnecessary remakes. There are so many more talented actresses who would be far better as Carrie.

        I'm not so sure about Moore. Word is she is not that special and I even read she is laughable in several reviews.

        It's not on purpose, I was just really bored during this movie :) I disliked The Descendants too.

        Delete
    2. I think Charlie Hunnam read the book and realized... "this shit is stupid, I quit"

      Angela Bassett is 55? She looks like she's 40 or something but damn.... I want some of that!!!!

      I want to see The Grand Budapest Motel. Ralph Fiennes will win Oscar...

      I totally did Javier's boner face. I bet he gets that every night w/ Penelope.

      ReplyDelete
      Replies
      1. I think he read it and realized 'they are not paying me enough' :)

        She is! It's crazy!

        I don't think he has a boner in that scene, I think he is too freaked out for that :)

        Delete
    3. I hated Kick-Ass.. so much that I'm staying far far away from the sequel. Also don't plan to watch Carrie's remake cause I'm gonna wait for your review and then "enjoy it via your writing" which will be most likely more enjoyable than the movie. I saw the original years and years ago, and I still remember it so vividly - I don't think they can make remakes anymore. Then again, one of my favorite movie's is a remake: Ocean's 11 but it's because I haven't seen the original.

      50 Shades of Gray already sounds like a bad bad bad bad thing. Haven't read the books, keeping far away from them and I pretty much read everything from The Hunger Games to Divergent. That's how much I dislike 50 Shades.

      ReplyDelete
      Replies
      1. Kick-Ass is the most idiotic piece of crap movie I've seen in my life. I mean seriously - if someone rated this 10/10, no way I won't judge that person. I think it's all right to do remakes but the decisions they make while doing them are awful - for example I wouldn't mine seeing new Carrie but this remake is riddled with moronic decisions - hiring Moretz, moving the story to modern times, ripping off De Palma's movie while saying they want to be faithful to the novel while it is impossible to do both...it's a mess.

        Delete
    4. Thanks for the link Sati! Ahah, love that poster of August: Osage County! Can't wait to see it next week, that's one of the gala screening at TCFF and I almost missed it as I'm flying to NYC on closing night, but fortunately they added a second screening on Thursday!

      Oooh I need to see After The Wedding now :P

      Btw, I reddited your Coven post from yesterday: http://www.reddit.com/r/TVReddit/comments/1or7mk/great_review_of_american_horror_story_coven/

      ReplyDelete
      Replies
      1. You're welcome! Awesome, can't wait for your review of this one!

        It's really a great film, I think you'd like it!

        Thanks so much! Damn, I didn't use reddit in ages :)

        Delete
    5. Chloe Moretz comparing her version of Carrie to Black Swan is completely unacceptable! Her being Carrie was never believable for me; but Julianne Moore looks great in the movie. I'm excited for The Grand Budapest Hotel; the trailer was cute. It's rare to see Ralph Fiennes in lighter roles, so can't wait to see what he does with his character.

      ReplyDelete
      Replies
      1. This is honestly one of the worst casting decisions in history. Moore would look great but Clarkson didn't manage to do anything in awful remake in 2002, I doubt Moore will do better.

        I love seeing Ralph in lighter stuff, he was so funny in In Bruges!

        Delete
    6. Chloe is overall cute in interviews for Carrie, and I think she'll stay normal for a while until a Miley era happens. But comparing Carrie to Black Swan....No. Just no.
      The Grand Budapest Hotel poster caught my eyes too - really beautiful! I always feel like the trailers for Wes' films are much grander than the actual movies. That extra spark is always missing.

      ReplyDelete
      Replies
      1. Comparing Carrie to Black Swan I could understand but comparing Carrie remake that is a cash grab to Black Swan...no, no.

        Same here. I'm really far from being a fan of his, it's just not my kind of movie genre. Too cutesy.

        Delete
    7. I thought Chloe was good in Kick-Ass (although I haven't seen the sequel and am not planning to) and I guess Carrie won't be that bad if you haven't seen the original (which I haven't, so I thought the trailer looked all right).
      I'm very much excited for The Grand Budapest Hotel, but yes, Wes Anderson is a director who doesn't appeal to everyone. So good to see Ralph Fiennes. Oh, and The Counselor looks very cool, I can't wait for that one either.
      As for Danish humour: yes, it's veeery dark. Or can be. Either it's super stupid and childish or super dark. Have you seen Green Butchers? It stars Mads too and it's almost darker than Adam's Apples.

      ReplyDelete
      Replies
      1. Oh, you need to see the original! Truly one of the best movies ever made.

        Ralph Fiennes is always amazing so I'm definitely going to see this one, if only just for him.

        I haven't yet, I heard it's hilarious :)

        Delete
    8. Thanks for the link! I'm glad I'm not the only one that doesn't like Chloe Grace Moretz. She can't act at all, and I never understand the praise for her. I get more excited for the Counselor by the day. Javier Bardem's face is priceless.

      ReplyDelete
      Replies
      1. You're welcome!

        She was shit even in 30 Rock. She is totally overrated and spectacularly miscast in Carrie.

        Delete
    9. Hey, hey, hey! Thanks for the linkage, Sati! The movie, for me, just did not meet any expectations. By the way, After the Wedding is a very good movie. Made me sob like a little girl by the end of it, too.

      ReplyDelete
      Replies
      1. You're welcome! I have no expectations other than to laugh :)

        It really was very good, great acting and beautifully shot film.

        Delete
    10. How overrated was The Way Way Back!? I feel the same as you about it.

      Pumped for Wes's next film!

      ReplyDelete
      Replies
      1. Crazy overrated. Such a boring and dumb movie.

        Delete
    11. I like Chloe Moretz, but wow, that was not a smart comparison to make. Carrie is actually getting better reviews than I expected; then again, I thought it would absolutely tank, a la Total Recall.

      I feel the same way as you about Wes Anderson. That's an impressive cast though. Nice to see F. Murray Abraham especially.

      ReplyDelete
      Replies
      1. Yeah, I mean, really, comparing Black Swan to a cash grab like this is just...no. I have no respect for her - she must have known taking the part when she is so spectacularly wrong for it is the nail to the coffin here.

        I just don't get his movies.

        Delete
    12. Wes Anderson films are usually more miss than hit with me. Or somewhere in between. I swear he's just too quirky for is own damned good.

      ReplyDelete
      Replies
      1. He really is. And he has this thing where animals get hurt in his movie for no reason, which is just disturbing.

        Delete
    13. Chloe Moretz is no Sissy Spacek. I don't even know what they remade this film. But then I don't know why they remake most films.

      Angela Bassett is still so beautiful. She looks like she did 20 years ago.

      $125k for '50 Shades of Garbage?' Charlie was smart to drop out. I don't know how they're going to turn that dog-faced book into a movie. Please Skarsgard--stay away. Please.

      ReplyDelete
      Replies
      1. It's just a typical cash grab :)

        She is amazing. I have no idea how the hell she looks this young.

        Skarsgard is way too good to be in shit like that.

        Delete
    14. :-(

      I wish that you loved After the Wedding. It's my favorite film of 2006. It also made me fall in love with Beir as a director.

      And yes, there are MANY young actresses better suited for everything than Moretz. In fact, they should have gone with the rightful young 'it' girl, Elle Fanning. She would have haunted as Carrie!

      ReplyDelete
      Replies
      1. Holy hell, I think Elle Fanning would have been amazing there.

        Delete
      2. I really did like the movie, just didn't love it. It was definitely worth seeing!

        I actually included Elle here - http://cinematiccorner.blogspot.com/2012/03/8-actresses-who-would-be-better-choice.html :)

        Delete
    15. Thanks for the link! :)

      The Counselor is almost here! Can't wait!

      I love After the Wedding, but I can see how the praise for it could be underwhelming.

      Ha, that Charlie Hunnam pie chart is hilarious!

      ReplyDelete
      Replies
      1. You're welcome!

        Hopefully it's better than the reviews it's getting...

        Delete
    16. Thanks for the link! That August: Osage County poster really is hysterical. I hope that one turns out to be good. Kind of on the fence about it.

      ReplyDelete
      Replies
      1. You're welcome! I can't stop laughing looking at that poster. I heard the movie is all right and some performances are superb.

        Delete