All right, this year's Critics Choice Awards were not as eventful as last year's. I blame the lack of McConaughey and no awesome fuck ups like malfunction when Bullock won last year which resulted in her 'what the fuck?!' Also can I just say I think it really sucks that some of the actors don't show up because they know they won't win. Getting nominated is still a big deal.
I mean it was really pathetic how only 2 people of Birdman ensemble were there, Ruffalo didn't bother showing up (to be fair he may be in London shooting but still, not cool) and in general there were 5 people the camera kept showing because there weren't that many choices
The host was someone called Michael Strahan. Fuck knows who he is and he was terrible but he was not nearly as terrible as Aisha Tyler last year. I truly think if people saw the new levels of suckling and being awful she reached last year when she hosted, Franco and Hathaway would not be spoken of as ill as they are when it comes to talking about hosts.
Anyhow, this dude is apparently in Magic Mike 2 so he did a little dance and they showed a bunch of female celebrities being sweet and laughing
Best Ensemble went to Birdman and the dude in the speakers only mentioned Keaton, well Andrea Riseborough was there and after a brief joke Keaton introduced her and let her do the speech which was such a classy and lovely thing to do
The award for best young actor went to the dude from Boyhood
Leslie Mann and some dude showed up and did an awfully unfunny bit. They presented the award for Best Action Actress to the terrific Emily Blunt and this happened:
Blunt's speech was amazing as well. The entire show was really in a great deal about girl power:
Best Action actor went to Bradley Cooper who was not there because apparently he is doing Elephant Man on Broadway? This sounds fascinating.
Adam Scott (YEY) gave best action movie award to James Gunn for Guardians of the Galaxy He was accompanied by the always awesome Chris Pratt - it was so cool seeing Ben Wyatt congratulate Andy Dwyer on stage
Oprah was there praying for all the snubbed black people.
John Krasinski presented the best animated feature to The Lego Movie, which didn't even get the nomination from Academy. That situation happened several times, actually, for example Critics awarded Birdman score and it's not even that it didn't get Academy nomination, it was disqualified by them.
Chris Pratt being awesome on stage again showed up to present the 1st ever MVP award to Jessica Chastain who gave one hell of a speech highlighting the misogyny and homophobia which are actual real issues with Academy this year btw not racism:
Diane Kruger presented the award for best supporting actor and J.K. won. He was not there. Actually none of the nominees except for Hawke was there.
Jared Leto showed up looking like this:
He presented the award to Patricia Arquette. This may be the least deserving supporting actress of the last 20 years.
Best song went to Selma. I can already feel Lost Stars losing at the Oscars but fuck them, wins like Arquette's show how incredibly undeserved some of those are.
Chris Hemsworth presented lifetime achievement award to Ron Howard. It was super boring.
Tyler Perry presented Best Actor in comedy to Michael Keaton. I nearly peed myself laughing when he said he thinks this award is cool but honestly he would take anything.
Best Actress in comedy went to Jenny Slate, deservedly. and best movie comedy to The Grand Budapest Hotel, undeservedly. Look, it's shockingly watchable and entertaining for a movie directed by this pretentious dog-hating hack Anderson, but to award it over Birdman? No fucking way.
Rene Russo sick with laryngitis and sounding like she is about to die presented some special award to Kevin Costner. What the hell? At least his speech was really sincere.
Judd Appatow showed up on stage and delivered a bit even more cringe worthy than his wife did previously in the ceremony. The director award went to Richard Linklater so I just fast forwarded his speech.
Best actress went to Julianne Moore. I'm not even gonna comment. At least Cotillard was nominated there so kudos, what a great day she had on Thursday.
Let me just say Gillian Flynn is getting fucked all kinds of ways this week. First no Oscar nom and now they don't even bother showing her win in televised ceremony.
What's worse is that after his third win of the night Michael Keaton fell off the stage and they didn't show it either! From Hollywood Reporter - "Keaton's three acceptance speeches didn't
hurt him either, with funny asides about his joy at receiving attention
("I'll take anything, honestly"), the scene in Birdman in which he lambastes a critic ("It was Ed Norton's
idea") and just running out of things to say ("I just want to thank
anyone who's ever thrown me a solid"). Unfortunately, after his third
speech, he accidentally fell four feet off the stage. Fortunately, he
seemed to land on his feet uninjured and was wrapped into a hug by Boyhood's Ethan Hawke, of whom he had just been very complimentary." Good God when Batman/Birdman falls off the stage you show it in the broadcast, damn it! Anyways Amy Adams presented the award and she kinda had a sour look on her face, no doubt pissed about the lack of what would have been yet another undeserved Oscar nomination.
And obviously the best film goes to Boyhood. This is so lame. Here's hoping BAFTAs will break that ridiculous pattern.