Friday, March 6, 2015

(173) The streets are flooded with the ejaculate of the homeless and you people are counting on the police?!* + links

By Sati. Friday, March 6, 2015
*It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, 3x14 Bums: Making a Mess All Over the City
  •  I had a pretty horrible week. I really want to dig a hole and just crawl in there. You know just once I'd love to have a 5 day long blissful time at work where I don't have to put up with anyone's crap and no one yells at me. Just once. I just want it to be Friday evening so I can sit down, enjoy some peace and quiet and watch a movie with Matthew Goode and a bunch of The Thick of It episodes.
  • We finally have first poster for Dark Places, based on the novel by Gillian Flynn....and it's not good.
  • This looks like something that could be a cover of a young adult novel about some emo girl. But if you think this is bad....we also got a trailer which is fucking terrible.
  • The sole good news is that the movie appears to be following the novel closely. But seriously everything else? Look I knew this is most likely going to be a disappointment - the book is Flynn's weakest because of the cliche chase near the end and insanely predictable and yet completely unbelievable answer to the key mystery which was so bad, especially comparing to the amazing twists in Gone Girl and Sharp Objects, I couldn't believe Flynn actually wrote this. Then there was the fact completely unknown director is making the movie and the casting which is just awful. If Theron looks like Libby Day then I look like freaking Angelina Jolie. Moretz is miscast as hell too but all you need to know to realize just how terrible that casting is this - they cast Christina Hendricks as a plain woman who can't get a man. WHAT?
  •  Still, it's amazing to me how much they fucked up the marketing here. That the film with all likelihood is bad is not that hard to believe - it's a tricky narrative to adapt, but how do you manage to screw up the marketing here? Theron is a huge star, Mad Men and House of Cards are big shows and Hendricks and Stoll are in the movie, Moretz has fans, fuck knows why but she has, and I'm sure there are some girls with horrible taste who fancy Hoult enough to see this. So how on Earth do you fuck up this bad? The film is getting released in France first, the poster is misguided, the trailer is a mess. That cinematography? That music?
  • They should have just do what they did with Carrie (an actual masterpiece) decades ago - black screen, just the audio of the murders. That's it.
  • That company (A24) also bought the rights to The Witch which is my most anticipated movie of the year. I just hope the release of this one will be better. Although it seriously does not look good - A24 acquires interesting films and the marketing just sucks. I realize not every company has the money to market the films all over the place, but the marketing for their movies is just so lacking of imagination and creativity.
  • Look I still hope that awful trailer is no indication of the movie's quality. But you know what makes me worried the most? 
  • That lame cinematography in flashbacks. The Day family murders are one of the bloodiest, scariest and most horrific murders I read about. When you read the book you can see it in your head - everything crimson from blood, mother's head half blown off, children hacked to pieces....the footage in the trailer looks so badly shot and underwhelming.
  • And what the hell is happening with Sharp Objects adaptation? It is supposed to be a mini series but there are no news.  The book is outstanding and it's almost as good as Gone Girl. It deserves great adaptation
  • So HBO finally revealed the official poster for Game of Thrones season 5 --------->
  • This is legit my reaction when I saw it:
  • What is wrong with these people? This is the biggest show on the planet not a sequel to some cheap straight to video fantasy film! The most embarrassing part is that the picture of Drogon is actually re-used footage from 4x06. It's not even new! This looks worse than fan made...if fan made was made by a monkey just randomly playing with photoshop.
  • Saddest thing is that this is not even the worst GoT poster. Remember last year? That pale blue background and a raven made out of swords? Are these people on crack?
  • Also it's now a bit more than a month till season's premiere and we still have only one trailer which was kinda underwhelming. Like I give a shit about Meereen or freaking Sand Snakes, come on give us the good stuff and a better trailer already!
  • The good news however is that the march on Winterfell is happening this season. Well that's something to look forward too, though we all know what is the one thing I want to see this season. Please come back.
  • Take a look at this  ------>
  • There are no limits to Redmayne's thirst for becoming the biggest Oscar whore in history. This is the still from The Danish Girl where Oscar bait reaches new levels - Redmayne plays the first man in history to become a woman. And the movie is directed by Tom Hopper. Next year will be even worse than this year, mark my words. Can we say poor Leo already?
  • Some people said this pic looks like Jessica Chastain. What a horrible insult to her, my God.
  • Lady Gaga will star in the next season of American Horror Story. This one will be called Hotel. I have very bad feelings about all of this.
  • The only thing that was not underwhelming this week was the recent Avengers: Age of Ultron trailer:
  • That was so badass. OMG is Bruce gonna score?! 
  • So I was watching It's Always Sunny and when this happened I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Mac is my favorite, his line deliveries just kill me. I cannot believe how unapologetic this show is, it makes fun of literally everything.
  • This is insane - this Spanish actress actually managed to deceive the public with photoshoped images
  • Dan Stevens is going to star as Beast in that new Beauty and the Beast movie. This is actually a really good choice! Luke Evans will be Gaston and I'm kinda sad it's not Matt Bomer after all as he is a better fit for the part. But had Bomer played the part....no one would be looking at Stevens.
  • The best moment of 2015 Oscars has finally been gifed
  • Ladies and gentlemen, Keira Knightley
  • Can The British just proclaim Colin Firth a National Treasure already?
  • m.brown reviews St. Vincent
  • Josh lists 10 actors who won Oscars for wrong performances
  • Brittani chose 3 great movies as her picks for black and white films made after 1970
  • Ruth reviews Nightcrawler
  • Alex features brilliant Laura Linney in his In Character series
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    36 comments:

    1. OK, it's official. Julianne Moore is Ultimately Awesome... I can't think of anything else to give her since she's always been cool and doesn't need any kind of free pass for anything because of her brilliance as an actress and as a person who doesn't take herself seriously.

      While I think he is attractive as a woman... I'm starting not to like Eddie Redmayne. This is just baiting for the wrong reasons. It's bad enough he stole Michael Keaton's Oscar but now Leo's? This is fucking wrong.

      The new Avengers trailer is awesome... that GoT and Dark Places poster... not so much...

      Sorry about your bad week.

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      1. If he steals Leo's Oscar next year I think people will really loathe him. They already go 'who the hell is this guy?!' on imdb

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    2. "they cast Christina Hendricks as a plain woman who can't get a man. WHAT?" - so true, I mean, the woman is knockout gorgeous!

      The whole marketing thing has gotten me thinking about weather the people who market these things have passion or just education? Cause I feel like the fanart stuff is 100 times better because fans have so much emotion invested in their art, that they make it look so god damn amazing and mind blowing, while the people who work in marketing, just work and lack the passion for it because for them it's just everyday work where they also probably get yelled at by their bosses..

      Redmayne is gunning for that follow up Oscar but isn't Leo cast in a movie where he plays like gazillion characters at once?

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      1. I really don't understand why they won't do some kinds of contest where they just choose the best fan art and that becomes the official poster. The trailers for GoT are usually excellent but the posters have always been a nightmare, the only good one was the s1 poster with Ned on the Iron Throne. Character posters always suck ass too.

        He is, but I think his Oscar bet next year is Revenant

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    3. thank you dear

      i wanted Matt play this role too but it seems they went after British actors because all of the cast are British

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      1. Yeah he would be better than Evans for sure

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    4. That Julianne Moore gif pretty much sums up my reaction to Dark Places trailer. I like half the cast (though I imagined none of them for the characters) but I don't have high expectations for it. Also, love the Colin Firth gifs, he is so adorable and awesome!

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      1. Firth is seriously one of the greatest people on Earth :)

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    5. I've been there several times where you want to just make the world freeze and just take a breath or two and relax. At least at the end of the day, you can have a side helping of Goode and Ruffallo to ease the tension :)

      Even though the trailer for Dark Places looks shit, I wouldn't make a hasty judgement just yet. My all-time favorite film, Children of Men, has a terrible trailer that looks like a soapy, cliched mess. Just watch the trailer and the movie and see. Plus, A24 distributed Enemy and Under the Skin so I have hope.

      At this point, I just imagine Redmayne hissing and slithering, with his wide reptilian eyes, going 'GIVE ME THE OSCAR. FALL FOR MY OSCAR-BAITEY ROLES AND WORSHIP ME.' Something I hate more than a Michael Bay film or anything by Lars Von Trier is a movie made solely to win awards. It's like they have checklist and just make sure they have exactly everything they need to win one.

      That Colin Firth gif is simply amazing. Can you be knight-hooded twice for being this awesome?

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      1. Yeah I'm gonna need a lot of that to ease the tension :)

        I really hope that this is the case of the French not doing a good job with the trailer, hopefully American trailer is better

        YES! Oscar Gollum Redmayne! The Imitation Game and The King's Speech are movies like that but I don't mind those because they had tons of heart, Theory of Everything and Les Mis are just there to pimp out the actors which is just awful and what a surprise Redmayne is in both of those

        They really should do that :)

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    6. Love those gifs of your reaction to the new GoT poster Sati, how unambitious is that? I've barely stopped laughing at that Colin Firth story too :-) Looking forward to seeing how The Danish Girl turns out - he's definitely channeling Chastain in that pic.

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      1. Seriously how the hell does the show of such big profile get such lame posters? Literally half of fan made posters out there are better than all of GoT posters combined

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    7. Lmao at that Julianne Moore gif.

      That Dark Places trailer...what.the.fuck? I actually really liked that book, I think I liked it more than Sharp Objects. You're right, it does look like they're sticking to the story but that casting is SO terrible. The only two I can really get behind are Nicholas Hoult, Tye Sheridan, and Andrea Roth. I think they'll work, everyone else is terrible. Charlize couldn't be more wrong for Libby. I still want to see it, I just hope I don't hate it as much as I think I will. They must be worried because they're not marketing the fuck out of this like I thought they would be after the success of Gone Girl

      Not only is that Drogon image recycled, the one of Tyrion is too. It's from his trial. They did a terrible job with the poster this year.

      That Ultron trailer was everything though. I loved that we saw more of Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver. And that quick shot of Vision! I'm so ready.

      I'm sorry you had a rough week at work. :( I hope that one day, you are given the opportunity to punch your boss in the face with little to no repercussions. lol

      Thanks for the link!

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      1. Yeah they really should be using the 'from the writer of Gone Girl' thing more and hype it as much as they can, also Theron seems to be sleepwalking in the part, like really, baseball cap and looking constipated - that ain't acting.

        Jesus Christ, these people are just embarrassing.

        Oh I'm pretty sure if I did that to a judge they'll lock me up :)

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    8. OMG, that Moore reaction gif is heavenly!

      Yeah, I don't know whats going on with Dark Places...that looks all sorts of awful, and I haven't even read the book, but I've heard it's pretty weak. I want to see it for Tye Sheridan, but you'd never know he was in the film from the way it's being marketed...so maybe his role sucks.

      Redmayne...we all better brace ourselves...he's coming at us again, probably with more force this time!

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      1. The book is really good, the ending is weak but other than that if they changed 2 or 3 things they could have something great here. Sheridan plays the most important character, I'm just hoping that this is just the French putting together a lame trailer, Americans are usually better at this kind of thing.

        That fucking asshole.

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      2. Well now I'm excited to read it and see it. Hopefully it'll be good, as Sheridan is such a great young actor. I am halfway through Gone Girl, so once I finish it I'll probably go seeking out this and Sharp Objects!

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      3. Oh Sharp Objects is just excellent and first 3/4 of DP is too. i really hope SP adaptation is good

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    9. Ha ha! I love Julianne Moore. It's a shame they seem to have fucked up the Dark Places adaptation. Except for the insanely implausible twist, I thought it was a great book. I am sorry life has been crappy. I hope things look up!

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      1. Life is good, it's just the 40h that I spent in the job weekly that's not great, but at least I have a job so that's something :)

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    10. Sorry about your week :/ Hopefully it gets better soon.

      The marketing for Dark Places is pitiful. Will you be doing edits for it like you did for Gone Girl?

      I like that someone is making The Danish Girl, because it's an important story that I think needs to be told. I just wish that it wasn't Tom Hooper who was directing (Les Mis I thought was great, King's Speech… not so much).

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      1. Thank you!

        Already started :) http://littlesati.tumblr.com/tagged/mine%3A-dark-places

        I'm pretty sure with Hopper's insane camera angles we won't see much in this movie, hopefully not much of Redmayne's anyways

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    11. You know I'm not a big fan of The Theory of Everything but it was the fault of the script and the delivery. I think that Redmayne could play the role very well but he won't get nominated this time.

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      1. I think he is definitely getting nominated, it's just too baity

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    12. Hey thanks for the link Sati, I forgot if you saw Nightcrawler yet.

      Sorry to hear about your horrible week. Thank God it’s Friday already though it’s been quite a hellish day for me w/ 5 meetings back to back and everyone’s asking for stuff left and right :(

      I hadn’t even heard of Dark Corners but that poster is a big meh. Not sure I’m even interested in checking out the trailer.

      But that GoT poster though, I have no clue what the heck is going on but it looks pretty provocative. But then again unlike you, I’m not as familiar w/ the material so it looks fresher to me.

      Tired of Redmayne already, sheesh they’re talking about him winning back-to-back Oscar already. I mean come on people!! Just because a man is playing a girl doesn’t automatically mean it’d be a great performance.

      Mwahahaha! LOVE that Colin, he’s just so humble and funny, plus he also gets better w/ age! Oh and I LOVE Julianne Moore's reaction to Fifty Shades, ahah.

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      1. You're welcome! I did, really liked it!

        Yeah it's weekend at last!

        Well the rumour is that Tyrion, Peter Dinklage's character, is going to meet Daenerys, the dragon girl this season, which hasn't happened in the books yet. So they are probably alluding to it, but the execution of the poster is really awful

        The awful thing is that it doesn't have to be a great performance, they go with baity..... :/

        For me Firth was the most dreamy in Bridget Jones's Diary, Mark Darcy is just such a perfect man

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    13. Lol, it took me a few seconds to realize what was so wrong with that woman on the picture, until I realized that it was Redmayne. Your comment on it is dead on. ;d ;d ;d.

      What's happening with GoT this year? Did the producers fuck something up? Or did the writers decide in the last moment that they should add something they were initially planning to leave off (LS!!!)?


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      1. I think the promo thing is a mess, but it's usually a mess, the only thing that is different this year is that they are taking their sweet time to advertize the show. They probably think since the show is so huge people will tune in anyways which I think is a major mistake seeing how underwhelming last season was. I won't be surprised if the premiere doesn't break the records as the show used to do in last few years

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      2. Completely agree. Saving a few bucks from advertisement may turn out badly.

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      3. I think they finally got a hold of things with that new trailer:)

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    14. Canyu, this season of GoT is going to have the most material that is invented rather than from the books. I think people are concerned about that. I wish they'd add LS this season. This is probably the first season I can't get too excited for the show and it pains me to feel that way. I am looking forward to seeing Daredevil and The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt over GoT.
      This might make me sound like a terrible person but I will wish that the Oscars over look Redmanye next year. I don't think I could take another year of that. Di Caprio is long overdue.
      I have to read Dark Places (among many other books).
      I am okay with Luke Evans playing Gaston, I am curious to see his take on the role as I do have an affinity for the character. He does have a musical theater background and I do believe Disney is planning this one as a musical, with numbers from the Broadway show and some new music too. I would have never picked Dan Stevens for the Beast, but I am very curious as to how they and he handle that particular role. Still not jazzed about Emma Watson as Belle.

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      1. I really can't bear seeing Redmayne on every talk show again. He was everywhere this Oscar season. And his speeches where he was sucking up to everyone were just so cringe worthy.

        Oh no, a musical? Damn...I just hope this at least doesn't have the same color palette as all the other ones of those fairy tale movies, they look really terrible.

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    15. Oh man, I thought that image of Drogon looked familiar! What a rip off. I'm sick of the Game of Thrones being shitty. Hopefully the character posters this season are better! At the very least I hope they've hired someone who isn't terrible at photoshop.

      Dark Places sounds like something I would rather read than watch. The trailer is pretty generic.

      And I looove the last gifs with Julianne Moore! She is flawless.

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      1. Oh check the new trailer out! It's amazing!

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    16. Thanks for the link! :)

      Ugh, Redmayne.

      Avengers: Age of Ultron looks good, but I'm kind of getting tired of so many Marvel movies.

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      1. You're welcome!

        I feel they are releasing these films too often, what is it, 2-3 a year? That's kinda an overkill

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