Friday, January 1, 2016

(216) Someone is building the time machine to the 80's, right? + links

By Sati. Friday, January 1, 2016

  • I spent much of this week watching Indiana Jones and wishing I had a time machine that would take me back to 80's. 
  • Because goddamn:
  • Did women faint during the 80's in cinemas a lot?
  • Having just posted about brutality directed at woman in the previous post, I saw Temple of Doom two days ago and I was turned on to be sure but mostly stunned. In the beginning Indiana Jones is poisoned and acting erratic and there is this huge fight and then all of the sudden there is a 2 second long moment of him sucker punching some random woman and I was like what is happening?! Then at the end he actually captures a woman with his whip and I have felt so many things in this moment mostly this is so wrong but I am not feeling outrage and it makes me feel like a hypocrite but she seems really into it oh God what am I and what is this
  • And also - I wasn't around for most of the 80s but Indiana Jones movies were mostly for kids, right? PG and all? There is a scene where Indiana tells this chick he wants to conduct nocturnal experiment on her and study her sexual activities (I was just so exhausted by the time the movie was over, seriously there was even whipping of shirtless Ford in that thing) and they sure don't make movies like that any more, there is barely any innuendos left in films these days, it's just all so 'god let's hope we don't offend anybody and god forbid we ever allude to sex'. How is it that people had more courage in 80's than they do nowadays?!
  • This is all my mother's fault. Not only did she fangirl excessively over Ford before, during and after Force Awakens but Sabrina was on TV this week. This movie is holy in our household. Whenever it airs we just watch it and sigh loudly. I don't think people are aware that this movie exists. Let me convince you to watch it.
  • Also this was pointed out to me -------->
  • Meanwhile when I was not daydream-cheating on Tom, I used my magic powers to get him a new gig. Hear me out - few days ago it was announced that Chris Nolan is finally too annoyed with Academy ignoring him so he decided to make a movie about one of their favorite subjects - World War 2,  Dunkirk to be more precise (remember that incredible scene in Atonement?), which is also the movie's working title. 

  • So I was like "dude, Chris, get Hardy. He looks so good in a uniform (albeit still not good enough to make sit through Child 44 in entirety) and you obviously are capable of working with him more than once". And then BAM! Hardy is in talks to be in the movie(along with Kenneth Brannagh and front runner for this year's Best Supporting Actor Mark Rylance). I'm so freaking happy. 
  • 28 days until I see The Revenant and can publish my end of the year list. It's almost entirely ready. I'm introducing new categories - most influential hair-style thanks to Bryce Dallas Howard's hair in Jurassic World for which I had my long curls cut down and JJ Abrams award for the most cruel moment in the movie. Seriously, I cannot get over how awful that was. I'm also backed into a corner with my most misogynistic Lars Von Trier award because Tarantino is not misogynistic yet if you read my yesterday's post and see the two delightful comments under it, Hateful Eight certainly makes misogynistic crowd cheer. 
  • Here's more of Tom being awesome during The Revenant interviews. I love that it took DiCaprio a moment to react:
  • Downton Abbey series finale was absolutely lovely. Everything ended well and Edith found happiness. More series finales should be like this one.
  • Spotlight was great. It was not as great as everyone kept saying it was but it's a solid 9/10. It would be good if it won Best Picture - we need people talking about what a disgusting and criminal organization the Catholic Church institution is. The film shows things from the journalistic perspective but the monstrosity of Catholic Church is so evident in the actions of their representatives. The movie also has the most shocking ending I've seen in a while, that happens after the final scene, in the things we read on the black screen. I am gonna review it. I never pass on a chance to point out most of the members of that institution should be chained and locked up.
  • The Danish Girl was terrible. Eddie Redmayne's style of acting is this - looks down, looks up, smiles like a psychopath, whispers. If the Academy nominates him for this ridiculous performance it's gonna be an embarrassment on par with him actually winning last year. Also, why are you punishing me, God? The only male nudity I saw in 2015 film is now from Eddie freaking Redmayne. What the shit, man. I don't deserve this. I'm a good person. Why would you show me his penis? Why would you show anyone his penis? Why?
  • I needed to look at shirtless photos of Hardy for about 10 minutes after witnessing this crap. I have absolutely no issue with transgender people. But I have an issue with naked Redmayne. This was just plain disturbing.
  • That film was also so badly written. I was probably supposed to feel for Redmayne's character but he was such an asshole. He was a freeloader who sat in his house, whining, put his wife through hell and was just a selfish jerk. Not that the wife was any better. There is a scene where she is undressing him and she sees he is wearing a nightie under his clothes. And instead of going, I don't know, "WHAT THE FUCK BABY?" she says nothing and bangs him. Then the next day she suggests he goes to the ball with her and he dresses up like a girl. I was stunned by the events depicted in this film. This must have been creative license because this much stupid actually existing in real life would tear the time-space continuum.
  • 2015: The year I feared for Matthias Schoenaerts. First because of that moronic Batsheba, then the freakshow couple in The Danish Girl. He shows up as this good guy who was friends with Redmayne's character and then I was forced to sit there watching Vikander stand by her husband and keep throwing Schoenaerts away. 
  • I honestly kept hoping a bomb would drop and that movie would just end leaving Schoenaerts and the dog as sole survivors.
  • Irrational Man was one of those forgettable films from Allen he does almost every year now. There was nothing new in the story, At least the soundtrack was fun. Seriously this is all I have to say about this film.
  • Spectre was ridiculous. I knew Waltz would suck in this as soon as I saw the trailer.. And what do you know, I was right. He puts zero effort in his performances lately. He was such a bland, ludicrously written villain. Seydoux was also fucking terrible. She played her character as some ditsy rebellious schoolgirl. The chain  of events of her banging Bond in the train and then the next day telling him 'I love you James' as he was getting tortured almost made me laugh my ass off. And Monica Bellucci? She was in that for 4 minutes! Why did they get actress of this caliber and looks to be in a movie for 4 minutes?! They should have scrapped that awful Seydoux's character and just have Bellucci as a single Bond girl this time around, age appropriate. Watching Craig and Seydoux together made me cringe and I'm usually all for older man/younger woman (CLEARLY) but she was acting like a schoolgirl and that was disgusting as fuck - it wasn't an act to turn on Bond, no she was actually this silly. Also what was up with the slapstick way the henchmen died? Or Bond shooting down a helicopter....with a handgun...while being on motorboat? I can't even.
  • Suffragette was a wasted opportunity. The script and the direction in this movie reeked of amateurism. It's such a shame because this could have been a powerful, important movie. Movies about women who fought for our freedom have to keep getting made. The story shown in the movie is barely one century old. Hundred years ago, just a hundred, a course of a lifetime, women were still being treated like inferior and denied basic rights. It's a shame a better movie wasn't made here and the awful direction deprives Carey Mulligan of any chance to create a great performance. 
  • The Big Short went completely over my head. I was always dumb when it came to economics so not even Margot Robbie showing up for one minute and explaining it in bath tub helped. That was possibly the most brilliant thing to happen in 2015 movie:
  • Anyways two things I'm certain of - Gosling is excellent in it and steals the show and Bale's award recognition for that film is simply puzzling.
  • So Marvel vomited some stuff on us this week. Benedict Cumberbatch as Dr Strange. He does look very much like the character and the casting of Mads Mikkelsen and Tilda Swinton will be enough to get me to watch that. 
  • We also got first look at Assassin's Creed. Well hopefully it will have a better script than Macbeth. Also we got first image from the sequel to Neighbors. The first one was one of my favorite comedies last year so I'm very much looking forward to it.
  •  We have the first still from The Girl on the Train. Emily Blunt still look too good for someone who plays overweight alcoholic. My entire faith lies in Ferguson.
  • We got first image from La La Land with Emma Stone and Ryan Gosling. I'm not into musicals at all but these two may work up enough magic along with Whiplash director who made the movie to make it interesting.
    •  As I'm gasping for breath and drinking lots of water while rewatching Indiana Jones fun coincidence sees Mark reviewing those awesome films
    • Brittani didn't hate The Danish Girl so that's shocking in itself
    • m.brown reviews Concussion for which I assume Smith will steal Hardy's nomination for Legend. He also reviews Age of Adaline which I'll see very soon for reasons.
    • Keith shares his top 10 movies of 2015
    • Mette writes about the ridiculous treatment of women in Spectre
    • Courtney points out the many flaws of Joy
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    32 comments:

    1. Wow you have seen a lot of movies - congrats! I haven't seen almost anything lately and I dont't want to watch those that I want on a small screen so.. here I am, sitting, and waiting.

      I fcking loved the Spotlight ending, that black screen with those cities just being listed and listed... it was the most subtle way of telling how messed up religion is. But I loved how the movie didn't hate religion, it just told a story, a very powerful story.. and I loved that scene with Rachel McAdam's character and her mother, when she was reading it because I felt the pain there, the loss of hope towards something that probably had a really big impact on that person's life.. Those small moments in Spotlight really meant a lot to me. And well, Mark was.. brilliant!

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      1. I don't think it's the religion that's messed up, just the Institution. That was a great scene indeed but the ending with the ringing phones was probably my favorite, the look on Keaton and Ruffalo's faces said so much

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    2. Lol shocking I didn't hate Danish Girl. Vikander was too good and the costumes were too pretty for me to hate it. Redmayne doesn't deserve an Oscar nom though. Tremblay needs one over him.

      I never really thought of Indiana Jones as kids movies, even though I watched them all as a kid. They were just action movies and the sex jokes went over my head.

      Spotlight was fantastic. Ruffalo was so good in it. I'm looking forward to The Big Short too.

      Thanks for the link.

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      1. Vikander was good but her character was such a disgrace I found it so difficult to get through this movie. And that stupid, melodramatic ending :/ She was better here than in Ex Machina, though

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    3. So.... how small is Redmayne? I have no interest in seeing that film. I'm still angry that he stole Michael Keaton's Oscar.

      Rose Byrne in a cheerleader outfit.... YES!!!

      Tom Hardy in the next Nolan film, that is $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

      Seriously, I think there should be a proper remake of This Means War with Leo instead of Chris Pine, Scarlett taking over for Reese Witherspoon but with a better script, a more coherent direction, and Jena Malone as an assassin who wants to kill both Tom and Leo because she is in love with Scarlett. That is $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

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      1. Quite small :)

        Jena as someone in love in Scarlett would indeed bring $ :)

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    4. The Danish Girl was awful! It was hard to sympathize with the characters because of the many inconsistencies present. Redmayne shouldn't get a nomination for this; I don't know what he was doing with his character.
      Spectre promotions made it seem like Monica Bellucci's character would be a big deal, she should have been in more scenes, or more involved in the film.

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      1. Indeed, Redmayne's performance was awful, it is embarrassing that he actually has nominations for this

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    5. A sequel to Neighbors? Cool.

      Love the fangirling over Harrison Ford. Feels like 1985 all over again. Since you brought up the PG rating, let's talk about that for a sec. Categories were a lot more vague back then and, coincidentally, Temple of Doom is the movie that helped spark a change. Parents were none too pleased with this film being marketed to kids and being rated PG. A big enough stink was raised that the MPAA quickly created the PG-13 rating. The first movie they slapped it on was the original Red Dawn only a few months later.

      Anyhoo, great post.

      Happy New Year!!!

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      1. Yeah I can imagine parents being all WTF about it - in addition to all the creepy stuff like chilled monkey brains, some of it was just obscene. But in a good way :)

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    6. I have always said that my dream man is late 70s-early 80s Harrison Ford- the sexiness of that man, I swear.
      That Margot Robbie scene was genius. I'll give The Big Short that, if nothing else. Also people saying that it's better than WoWS- WHAT SORT OF QUAALUDES ARE THEY ON?

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      1. PREACH!

        Also yep in no way is TBS better than TWOWS, which is a masterpiece

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    7. Spotlight just grabbed me right from the start and I didn't even notice the time flying by. It definitely re-affirmed my stance on the institutions of religions and how state and church/mosque should be separate. And the last scene you were talking about really shook me, kept my mouth open, and made me tear up. Definitely need more quality stuff like this film that isn't afraid to challenge such powerful institutions.

      I plan on seeing The Big Short with my friend who's an undergrad. major in political science and economics. I'll need him to explain everything they're talking about after the film ends xD

      The Danish Girl looks as appealing as blank canvas with a beautiful frame. Will watch it but Oscar bait like that is, in my eyes, worse than stuff Bay puts out or whatever generic action movie Hollywood churns out.

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      1. The Big Short is very very complicated. I don't think one needs to completely understand what is happening to enjoy it but I did feel like a moron watching it. Good movie, very clever script. And the acting was great though Bale was very mediocre, don't know what is up with all the praise

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    8. Harrison Ford...he was, and still is, quite the handsome fella.

      Even if Spotlight isn't my top pick for Beat Film of the Year, I wouldn't argue against it winning Best Picture. I thought it was very good.

      The Danish Girl was 2015's cinematic equivalent of watching paint dry. It was tedious to sit through. One reason is because of Redmayne's performance. So tic-y and unnatural. Yet we'll have to live in a world where he has more nominations than greater talents like Tom Hardy and Jack O'Connell.

      Great post, though. Keep up the great work!

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      1. I cannot believe that Redmayne is gonna get nominated for this. He is just getting nominated because he played this person, not because he played her well. It's gross, considering how many great lead actor performances won't get nominated

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    9. Great Indiana Jones Gif! :)

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      1. There are no not great Indiana Jones gifs :)

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    10. Sati, you're the bomb! Thanks for the link. As for Indy...'nuff said. He's the freaking man. Redmayne's performance looks so tailored for the Academy. I'm one of the 12 people who liked Child 44. I get what you're saying about Spotlight. It still tops my list and I'm really glad you think highly of it despite the issues you raise. Spectre and Suffragette - both SHOULD HAVE BEEN BETTER. And Emily Blunt...even on that train she looks ravishing!

      :)

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      1. You're welcome! I just can't get through Child 44. Most of the time I had no idea what is happening in this film

        Ah, Blunt is surely gonna be awesome on the movie but she really does look too good for the part :)

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    11. Hey thanks for the link up! Also I'm somewhat curious about Eddie Redmayne's penis...

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      1. There's really not much to be curious about :)

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    12. Great mini-reviews! I love your take on The Danish Girl. I'll probably see it eventually, but I have no particular interest in Eddie Redmayne's penis. *LOL*

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      1. Thank you! Good, it's really nothing at all but it's enough to disturb

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    13. Hi Sati! I am total agreement with you on Spectre. One of the worst Bond films I have ever had the misfortune to see. It was terrible...for all the reasons you mentioned.

      I used to have this huge thing for Harrison Ford in the late 90s when I was a teenager. I was too young to see his 80s movies, so I watched them in the 90s...on VHS of all things. The way he looked in 'Working Girl' almost did me in! I still feel like Harrison is an attractive older man...even for 70s years old.

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      1. I swear if it wasn't for Isaac coming to those interview things for SW, Ford would be the biggest eye candy there. I really need to see Working Girl, it's such a famous film and I never seen it

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    14. Thanks for the link!

      I agree with you on Spotlight...good, but not spectacular like everyone is praising it to be. I would be okay with it winning best picture, but it's SO safe. It's an Oscar-worthy film just waiting to be served on a silver platter, so it might be a boring year if that's the case. I'd love a good surprise from the Oscars, but that's asking a lot these days!

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      1. You're welcome! I'm just gonna be content with Leo winning these clowns can do whatever they like in other categories. I'm so not interested in the actresses categories this year

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    15. Mwahahaha! I love that you're crushing on Harrison Ford like your mom now :D But hey, I was crushing on Gregory Peck a few years ago despite him having been dead for over a decade by that time! At least Ford is still alive AND kicking, ha!

      Hey, 9/10 for Spotlight is what I'd give it too. It's not perfect like Fury Road but an EXCELLENT film. Glad you agree Spectre was rubbish, it was disappointing esp what they did to Monica Bellucci, what a travesty!!

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      1. That is true he is very much alive :) Also appears to have insane amount of energy - I can barely get out of bed in the morning and the man appeared on every possible talk show to promote new SW. Jesus, I'm gonna be dead so long before I'm ever 74.

        Spectre sucked so far

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    16. LOL, I grew up with the Indiana Jones movies, so I've seen them many times. Glad you made it through them without passing out. ;)

      Spotlight is very well-made. I’d love to see it win Best Picture.

      I didn’t hate The Danish Girl, but Redmayne was pretty bad.

      Surprisingly, I really enjoyed Spectre. I even thought Seydoux was good. :/ Though, Bellucci was wasted and Waltz was a forgettable villain.

      The Big Short was fine, but I wouldn’t nominate it for anything. And it’s too bad Suffragette wasn’t better, so that Carey Mulligan could’ve had a shot at another nomination.

      Looking forward to those 4 movies this year!

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      1. I loved Big Short so much yet for some reason i only mention it 4 times in my end of the year awards. And it is my most rewatched movie of 2015!

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