- North: After the resurrection the only thing that is different is that Jon has no balls. He needs to be talked into action by Lady Bolton. That's how bad it is. After bringing him back Melisandre is not even in most of the scenes. The North doesn't give a shit about anything. They're like nihilists from The Big Lebowski. And since there will be 7 episodes between ToJ fight and the reveal the momentum is lost.
- Littlefinger: poor idiot who was just this dumb about Ramsay. Gonna steal the victory from Jon and then pet his man bun after he tells him who his mommy and daddy are. It's OK, Jon. You're a cobra too.
- KL: Tommen bans the trial by combat even though it's clear Cersei will lose any other trial than trial by combat, which will mean Tommen is a bastard born out of incest. The build up for wildfire is Qyburn's cryptic line a lot of people didn't get (I actually saw some people think Qyburn is talking about Gendry). Are D&D prejudiced about water or something? Catelyn dropped in the river - not back. Gendry rowing - not back). I mean we have Cersei swearing vengeance for Myrcella (nothing happened). Cersei asking Qyburn to find out what is being said all over the realm about her (nothing happened). Cersei sending Jaime away for reasons (nothing happened). And now one line and some flashes from Bran's vision pass for a set up?
- Olenna and Varys: (probably) forced to team up with Dorne because the writers pray to Gods the amount of sass from these two will conceal Bad pussies' awfulness. It won't.
- Meereen: Tyrion being portrayed as completely inept. Not one but two drinking game scenes. Freeing dragons, amounting to nothing. Striking deal with slavers amounting to siege, apparently? Daenerys ex balcony.
- Introducing Paddington looking fuck for two scenes in the show. Even though Yara and Theon would be enough if they want Dany to magically obtain some ships.
- Benjen showing up for one scene, after no build up, with his "stabbed twice, so dope" story. Bran randomly molesting a tree and having visions. Max Von Sydow in 10 minutes of scenes.
- D&D developing a boner so fucking hard for Sandor it could compete with any Cleganebowl's fan. Sandor is so dope. Sandor gets to share scenes with Ian McShane. Sandor gets awesome lines. Sandor gets to kill people with his axe for VENGEANCE. Sandor gets to piss on fans' hopes and dreams. Oh yeah. It would actually all be fine (Rory McCann is singularly amazing and this character is the only hope for Sansa's redemption) if they didn't use him as the means to ruthlessly and senselessly crash people's expectations of BwB storyline.
- Brienne going to Riverrun because it's too dangerous to send a raven to get Blackfish to give up his home and go North. OK. Brienne, shockingly fails, THEN SENDS A RAVEN North. Brienne is now stranded in RL, for no reason.
- Jaime. I can't even.
- Having all the set up for Stoneheart, a plot twist which would bind Sandor, BwB, Freys, Arya, Jaime and Brienne plots together, mentioning Catelyn about 30 times this entire season only to have Beric Dondarrion show up and decide to fight WW out of nowhere.
- Oh yeah and Sam is doing...something.
- Jorah is looking for a cure for Westerosi leprosy because Dany told him to go forth and find it, even though that disease is considered untreatable. What is logic even?
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Friday, June 17, 2016
(240) Swift and painful + links
|By Sati.||Friday, June 17, 2016||Rambling Friday|