Friday, September 16, 2016

(253) The great crazy snapchat watch of 2016 + links

By Sati. Friday, September 16, 2016
  • I have been watching Jared's snapchat even more creepily and attentively since he landed in Budapest, waiting for those glorious pics of him and Harrison. 
  • Because goddamn, I deserve those pics.
  • On Saturday Jared was photographing the city
  • On Sunday he photographed potatoes he was about cook (I'm hoping). 
  • This is next level trolling from J-boo.
  • He also emerged from his hotel and took some photos with fans while obviously having his beloved red flannel shirt with him
  • That shirt gets more mileage than his dick, you guys.
  • He even found a climbing gym and went there
  • He just snapchats and climbs! That's all he does! I can think of other activities for him. I think climbing would be involved too. 
  • Nudge nudge, wink wink.
  • *shame corner time*
  • ...
  • Yesterday he snapchated his feet. Okay, well this is progress in that a part of him is actually in the fucking picture.  
  • And then we got selfies! Look at the size of that feral beard! An android with a beard? He is shooting already so what is going on?
  • Have you guys seen that Live by Night trailer?
  • OH MY GOD that Batfleck hits the wall shoots the gun moment!:
  • The one on the right is like something straight from Nolan's Batman. 
  • I almost shat myself! 
  • Batfleck! YES! You can botox your face off but damn, you know how to direct a fucking movie, baby!
  • This looks dope as hell. Also can we please have Hozier's songs (here it's Arsonist's Lullaby which is AMAZING) in every single trailer? It is mixed in so well and the sound and editing of that trailer is just awesome.
  • I hear the film is very good, Fanning has a meaty part but not very big, but Sienna Miller, while also not having a big part is the best out of female cast. I quite like her and time and time again she proves she can do a lot even with a small amount of screen time.  
  • And here is Batfleck's new suit in Justice League (which will be J-booless, sadly)
  • Meanwhile, in real life Batfleck must have been drinking and dialing again.
  • Brad Pitt is out there, talking. I don't know why, is he in something? Is something he produced being released? First he talked of Trump and Brexit, now he compared Mel's Jesus movie to Scientology propaganda. Hm. Well, Brad in case they fire back you're on your own because Heroina looks even worse than usual lately.
  • Emmys are happening this weekend. Literally the only thing I care about is for Hiddles to lose. The face he will make will be glorious. 
  • "A source tells Hollywood Life that Tom is positive he’s going to win an Emmy award for The Night Manager. In fact, he’s “expecting” to win. The source adds: “He can’t wait, its like a kid waiting for Christmas morning"
  •  Pathetic. Also this is probably coming from Swift's PR team since it makes Hiddles look even worse than before. Well, that's fairly shocking since I didn't think it was possible.
  • Hiddles needs protesters to sway the public. Have them attack him and people will go 'poor him!'.
  • He is gonna be the final presenter at the Emmys. That's just sad. Also potentially awful if he presents the award to D&D. The sheer amount of entitled douchebaggery, tripled, would be impossible to endure.
  • Michael Shannon single-handedly won TIFF with this outfit --->
  • Ladies and gentlemen my entire world crumbled. And it's not because I have been doing my cleanse for the last 7 days now and I have Betty Davis crazy eyes and feel higher than ever while ironically only eating right and not drinking (have you ever tried this? It's like you are floating, seriously). It's because one good performance can be given by a bad actor. Two good performances can be given by a bad actor. But three is too much. Which must mean the impossible - Natalie Portman is a good actress.
  • For fucking years the only flaw in BSwan was her. I don't like her. She is stuck-up, dumb and humorless. And I always said her good work in Swan and Closer is thanks to right casting, patient directing and great script. And now out of Venice and Toronto we are getting hit with the kind of reviews Blanchett got for Blue Jasmine in regards to Portman's work as Jackie Kennedy. 
  • What the fuck, what the fuck?!
  • Funny how things work. Had Amazon or Netflix bought Jackie, the film would be doomed in Oscar race. But it was bought by Fox Searchlight (which also distributed Black Swan) becoming their new bid in Oscar race (they should just drop Birth of a Nation like hot garbage now). I don't want Portman to have two Oscars. Fuck that shit.
  • I really cannot believe the reviews she is getting. This chick, this new Jersey chick, who when she got money went vegan and Dior and looks like she judges everyone pulled off the refined, elegant, subtle Jackie? The only thing they have in common is that their husbands both made them look like fools (Portman's husband is an unemployed failure which mooches off her, as for JFK I don't need to elaborate, right?)
  • Remember Small Time Crooks, that Woody Allen movie? Remember how it was about this couple who got rich because the wife made awesome cookies? And how when the wife got rich she bought all that stuff and was so tacky among all elegant people? That's Natalie Portman. And now she is playing Jackie the pinnacle of elegance Kennedy. and the reviewers tell me it's good?!
  • The stark contrast between the two...it's as if Jared played someone no one wanted to bang. Or someone with small dick. Or someone who is you know, a human man, as opposed to an angel of the Divine.
  • It's madness.
  • New Westworld trailer is here
  • Fifty Shades Shittier trailer is here.It actually has one advantage over the first one in that Bella Heathcote, who was a revelation in The Neon Demon, is in it. She plays the crazy ex of "I don't make love. I fuck. Hard" robot mannequin. Also goddamn, that is one bad trailer. It appears the movie actually has some plot but you wouldn't get that from this promo. The use of the music is awful. It doesn't even have the big wow moment before the title card appears. 
  • Apparently this little gem is said in the book - I'm a sadist, Ana. I like to whip little brown-haired girls like you because you all look like the crack whore – my birth mother.
  •  I just....nope.
  • Christine trailer. Hall looks amazing and it's a shame it's not getting more traction because she is someone who I'd love to see winning awards. The real story is so shocking and depressing and it looks like the film will be very intense. We also got the new poster.
  • That no one stood up and offered pregnant Olivia Wilde a seat is sad, but not surprising since people are generally ill-mannered assholes. But that people are giving her hard time for expecting someone will give her their sit because she is pregnant is shocking. She is pregnant! Move your ass and let her sit!
  • They're making the third Jeepers Creepers movie. In this climate, considering what the director did, I doubt it will make any money. Oh, you think Parker's case is bad? Well...
  • Those Adrian Grenier's quotes have to be read to be believed.
  • On a related subject to what he said I'd love to go to Burning Man one day. And on completely unrelated note that is where Jared does drugs and has orgies and it's completely not connected to my reasons for wanting to go.
  • How dare you think that, not at all connected.
  • At all.
  • And shockingly Adrian Grenier is not the dumbest 'who'"saying stuff this week
  • Halle Berry. Unbelievable.  "My looks haven’t spared me one hardship or one hurt moment or one painful situation." Yeah, I'm sure she was bullied or made fun of because of her looks. What a hard life being beautiful and tall and skinny she must have led.
  • Those stupid Hollywood fucks, oh my God.
  • Nocturnal Animals trailer is terrific! It has now jumped to the top of my most anticipated from this year even though as much as I think Amy Adams is lovely and talented, she is just so bland. Bland is fine for playing nice girls or sweet girls like in Enchantred or Her but she takes on various roles. There were hints of sinister in The Master but unfortunately she wasn't given enough to do in that one. I feel this one and especially Sharp Objects really need someone with fire and not Adams who more often than not looks like a girl with a trembling voice who is about to collapse into tears. Hopefully she surprises me. The rest of this cast, though - Shannon, Gyllenhaal, Sheen, Linney, Riseborough, Bauer von Straten, Malone....amazing! The trailer also really gave me Mulholland Drive vibes and that's always good. I read few reviews today and they are all very good and Shannon is being called a standout. It would be so amazing if he won an Oscar. He is one of the best actors working nowadays.
  • Honest trailer for Civil War. You know, I was composing my list of movies I've seen this year and started creating my draft for this year's awards since you guys know how long it gets. And Civil War gets no mention from me. In neither of over 50+ categories. Yeah, it's a good film, but it's also forgettable which can be said about a lot of Marvel films. And the trainwrecks that are Suicide Squad and BvS actually get mentions and not just in bad categories (no one is gonna top WB for Shame award this year. No one). DC still sucks but at least in a memorable way whereas Marvel triumphs in can we just have something new? kind of way.
  • It's that time of the year again - the new season of American Horror Story has began. It was shrouded in secrecy and they managed to hide the theme from people until the premiere which was a very impressive thing to do in this day and age when everything gets spoiled ahead of the release. The theme is Roanoke and the first episode was in a documentary-show format. So far it's very suspenseful and shows a lot of potential, but I wish Lily Rabe had Paulson's part and vice versa. Paulson played the lead too many times before already whereas Rabe was underused so far. It's great that Angela Bassett has more to do this year, though. Interestingly one of the things in the premier were the mysterious stick figures in the forest which leads me to another point....
  • Blair Witch. I am way too chickenshit to see this one in the cinema. I cannot believe after seventeen years we finally get to see the witch! Sure it would be better if we never saw her because what people imagine is almost always worse than reality and it's almost impossible to come up with awesome, scary, creepy and unique creature design these days, but the curiosity is insane. I took a peak at some of the reviews today and I'm surprised that people are somehow blaming the movie for using the technology and losing the grainy format of original. Sure, the 1999 movie and the way it was filmed was scarier but can you blame the new movie for the progress of time and technology ? It's 2016, what else are the filmmakers to do than to employ it? This actually plays well with the theme of...
  • ...South Park 20th season premiere episode. One of the more clever plot points were "member berries" - berries that kept talking of nostalgia (remember, get it?) and mentioning stuff from the past that the inhabitants of South Park took as supplements to chillax. It's true isn't it? What is happening in pop culture is basically taking a beloved idea and the presentation in which it proved appealing to masses and repeating it. South Park also made fun of JJ Abrams - he was hired to reboot National Anthem in the face of recent controversy. After all what is The Force Awakens if not the safest movie made in a very long time? So is it better to deliver something safe and good or try something else and fail completely?
  • Courtney reviews The Birth of a Nation
  • FlickChicks choose 5 favorite Tom Hardy performances 
  • Brittani reviews Hell or High Water
  • Nick remembers Blair Witch Project
  • Alex features Liev Shreiber in his In Character series
  • Jordan reviews Nerve
  • m.brown reviews The Boss
  • Ruth and Myerla review Florence Foster Jenkins
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    20 comments:

    1. Ah, Natalie Portman. She was probably that goodie goodie teacher's pet in high school that everybody hated. Her work has always been exceptional to me, but the casting as Kennedy is VERY random. I'm curious to see how she does in it.

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      1. I am stunned at the reviews. Need to see this movie asap

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    2. Michael Shannon.... cool 4 life....

      Hey, don't diss Po'tman mothafucka!!!! She is part of my Bullet Club. Keep dissin' her and I'll be spewing venom on yo' J-boo.

      Nocturnal Animals I totally want to see... Fifty Shades Darker, I'll watch it but I have to be offered something in the form of poontang pie to get me to see that piece of shit.

      Westworld.... YES!!! Evan is so going to kill it. Another member of my Bullet Club!

      Christine looks good as does Live By Night but Hozier sucks.

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      1. I really hope Westworld is gonna be good western/sci-fi combo almost never works

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    3. Did you catch South Park's subtle dig at Amy Schumer? That was amazing.

      I like everything about Batfleck's suit except the goggles.

      Yasss more praise for Hall. She looks perfect in that movie.

      Michael Shannon is precious and I want to see Nocturnal animals so badly.

      If you're sleeping during the Emmys, I'll tweet you when Hiddles loses.

      Thanks for the link! :)

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      1. The vagina thing? Yeah that was good :P

        I haven't seen Emmys in years I hear Hiddles tried to hook up with someone? What a loser :P

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    4. If Natalie Portman or Emma stone win the Oscar this year, I swear to god....I'm hoping Rooney Mara for Una and Rebecca Hall pull through. Or chastain and Adams....anyone but those two

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      1. I think Stone is very possible...Mara and Hall's movies seem to be getting less buzz because they aren't being campaigned enough

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    5. Michael Shannon...forever winning.

      How you feel about another Oscar for Natalie is how I feel about Kit Harington winning an Emmy...no...just no...

      And no to a Hiddles win as well.

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      1. Eh Emmys mean even less than the Oscars though...it would be hilarious if Harington won

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    6. I'm looking forward to Christine, it's a really powerful and moving story. Reading about her story it's certainly one I can empathise with.


      Thanks for the link!

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      1. You're welcome! Yeah it's such a shocking story and it looks like Hall is really amazing in the movie

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    7. Thanks for the link Margaret, I think you'll enjoy FFJ!

      Ahah, yes Batfleck sure knows how to direct a flick, Live By Night looks good, hopefully it'll beat the January 'dump month' release curse!

      Mwahahaha!!! Michael Shannon!!! I LOVE that he looks like he's going to a tropical vacation at TIFF, it's effin' awful but still a breath of fresh air in a sea of suits!! Speaking of Shannon, I just saw him in Elvis & Nixon and that Nocturnal Animal trailer, didn't know he's in it, but dayum it looks good!

      You're too chicken to see Blair Witch?? I find that hard to believe since you can handle AHS, even the trailers are terrifying!

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      1. I think it's getting limited release in December to qualify for Oscars

        AHS is nothing comparing to watching found footage Blair Witch in the theater there is no escaping from :)

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      2. Well I'll be posting my friend Ted's review of Blair Witch today, sounds like it's wise that you sit that one out.

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      3. Yeah it looks like it's not very good :/

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    8. Michael Shannon has now become the Uncle I never knew I wanted. What a cool dude!
      REALLY can't wait for Nocturnal Animals, that looks amazing.
      I'm constantly hearing great things about American Horror Story but I'm such a baby, it just sounds too scary!
      Thank you for the link :)
      Oh, and did Hiddles lose? We don't get to see the Emmy's here - I'm going to have to look this up. I feel bad for hoping he lost.
      - Allie

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      1. AHS is not that scary, actually the show maybe scared me 3 or 4 times in all of its seasons, it's more like a gigantic homage to horror, more spooky than scary :)

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    9. Thanks for the link! Oh my god, Michael Shannon is just the best. That outfit, and that Vanity Fair interview... priceless. I'm so exited for Christine. That whole story is very interesting to me.

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      1. I heard Christine is good! Really looking forward to it and especially Hall's performance I wish her career finally took off in a major way

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