Saturday, September 24, 2016

(254) and Jennifer laughed + links

By Sati. Saturday, September 24, 2016
  • Bad news - J-boo is in Tokyo to shoot The Outsider which means 1. we didn't get Harrison/J-boo selfie 2. his part in Blade Runner 2 must be crazy short because he was there for like 10 days most of which was spent on climbing in the gym and photographing stuff
  • This beard is slowly reaching beautiful, apocalyptic levels.
  • Also he has been working out
  • No, I have not just licked the screen.
  • ...
  • I saw Lonely Hearts over the weekend. In spite of it not getting wide American release which is usually a red flag it was actually a decent movie. Like, I didn't just fast forward to Jared's scenes. Yeah, it reeked of B-talent behind the camera trying to do something with A-list actors (well somewhat) but failing but comparing to some of the stuff Jared made (*coughs* Highway *cough and spits blood* Alexander) this was watchable. Jared - awful mustache and horrible hair in this combo - played a dude who would prey on lonely women and steal their money. Then he run into Salma Hayek's character who was a total psycho and they fell in love and she basically pushed him over the edge and they started killing people together. And Travolta and Gandolfini played the cops hunting them. Jared was very good in the role but reading about actual people it's a shame they didn't deepen the subject. Hayek was miscast as hell but she gave a pretty good performance. 
  • J-boo is gonna play Andy Warhol. The bad - the beard will have to go. And God one knows what he will do to his hair. Or to himself. Also I have to suffer through all the mocking articles about it and people making fun of him in the comments sections. The good - anytime boo boo gets a new project is awesome. I'm so glad he is into acting again but seriously, Jared, how about that romantic comedy for your fangirls? We suffered enough.
  • Finally finished Stranger Things! What a delightful show. The kids were amazing. I really hope they come back next season.I have so many questions about the show. How come in the entire Upside Down there is only one monster? What is up with Will, is he back completely or not, given the second to last scene? Will El return? Why was the chief leaving food in the woods? What did the special forces dudes tell him? Why would Nancy stay with this douche bag?
  • I didn't watch the Emmys. I didn't really have the time or the reason to do that but mostly, and I cannot stress that enough, I didn't want to.
  • Anna Chlumsky's dress...wow. Still better than Beyonce's feather VMA nightmare.
  • Matt LeBlanc attended the ceremony the only way one should attend Emmys - high and drunk as fuck
  • And awkward shit happened. 
  • I'm glad Sarah Paulson finally won. She is one of TV's most precious ladies and she was amazing as Marcia Clark. She also exchanged the cutest social media messages with her girlfriend Holland Taylor.
  • Also thank God Hiddles lost. His hairline just keeps on receding by the way.
  • And yet again we suffer the disgrace - Six Feet Under never won an Emmy and now Game of Thrones has 2. 2. Won for the two worst seasons of the show. And it even won for writing again. This is why Emmys are actually beneath Oscars when it comes to credibility. Waaaay below. 
  • Any award for GoT writing is hysterical but this one actually had honest to God mistake even regular viewers picked up on with Ramsay saying his hounds are hungry AFTER Sansa rode away and her then telling him that in the ending
  • Oh, hell.The thirst goes on.
  • Of course Maggie Smith is better than the Emmys. I found Kimmel's jokes distasteful. Given her age do you really expect her to attend your shitty award ceremony?
  • Oh my God! But seriously nothing like 45 year old man crying in facebook video too. In case you wonder if you should feel bad, you shouldn't
  • I'm told Gigi Hadid is a model. Anyways that ridiculous Ukrainian prankster stroke again and she elbowed him in the face. Well done! Also what he did is not a 'prank' it's an assault. She should go all Rose Byrne in Spy on her bodyguards for this.
  • Mel Gibson is gonna be a father for the 9th time. His oldest kid is 10 years older than the woman who is carrying his new child. Even to me that is messed up. 
  • Man, poor Jimmy Fallon. He did this and people are giving him shit for it. Some of the web's most asinine sites are even calling for boycott. First of all, that's Fallon's thing. He is always nice. He invites all sorts of people. He is always gracious. Come on, he called Suicide Squad "great". Second of all, he is a host of a talk show. He can invite whoever he wants. Third of all, just because you think someone is an asshole it doesn't mean that the host of the show should be awful to this person. Not being awful is being professional. I cannot believe people are actually holding it against Fallon that he invited Trump and was nice to him. The guy has a a huge support and may even win. If he does it ain't Fallon's fault. Americans, you have so many problems and Jimmy Fallon ain't one of those problems.
  • I don't think anyone has issue with wight. It's all of it - she is profoundly disgusting and stupid outside and inside. The only way she can improve herself is if she launches herself at the sun and never returns. And bitch you still hurt my eyes. Also that was a terrible movie.
  • Blair Witch is failing all over the place. This is sad. I love witches in horror. I wanted more of  this franchise, the mythology of it is so interesting. 
  • At least the guy who wrote the script won the Internet with this tweet: 
  • This week in Batfleck watch. I think his tits are bigger than mine.
  • I fucking hate the state of modern journalism. How the fuck do you play a blind item game when it deals with a subject like that?  Other than the fact that it is just distasteful because this is not about Batfleck banging a nanny or someone getting too drunk at the Oscars party but about one of the worst possible crimes, why not just go ahead and print the name? Why not go to the cops? And so many things here:
  • 1. California has SIX years statue of limitations for this? SIX? That there is any statue of limitations is awful in its own but SIX years?
  • 2. What if that person is still hurting children? By withholding the information they are enabling it.
  • 3. All that suggestion throwing...if they fear libel, look at the comment section. 20-30 different actors are getting accused there.
  • 4. And now the momentum is lost because:
  • on the same day as this showed up, much less important news came to light and pretty much annihilated everything that happened prior and after them with the attention and time given to them - Brangelina is no more.
  • Hard drugs! Russian hookers! Marion Cotillard!
  • This is main news here in Poland. I hear in US they stopped talking of Obama in UN when the news broke. It's crazy.
  • Day 1 of this and shit was already messy. This is real drama not those people no one will remember like SnakeKardashianKanyegate. 12 years of dirt! And Angelina is already playing nasty by suggesting Brad is a bad father. 12 years and 6 kids and now she minds him smoking weed and his parenting skills? Yeah right.
  • Could you imagine if Cotillard child turns out to be Pitt's kid?
  • Dlisted is really the most educational site out there. Did you guys know Jolie herself shitposted about Jen Aniston under nickname? Also apparently Jolie's team was the one responsible for the whole 'Brad left Jen because she didn't want kids' angle. Could you imagine the deliciousness of another woman now being pregnant with his child?
  • Also Jolie's team dropping this just a day after those mysterious Corey Haim abuser rumors did is so terrible. Of course it wasn't Pitt, he didn't break out before 87'. But it got more than few people wondering.
  • Clooney was shocked too. Or trying to hide his glee. I'm not sure what angle I believe more.
  • It sounds like Brad actually wanted to parent the kids and Angelina let them run around, eat Mcdonalds and do nothing. And then there is this. And the rebuttal. Either Angelina really is completely insane and for her Brad getting physical to defend himself from a teenager automatically means the necessity for divorce or she was just looking to get out of the marriage.
  • Shit is getting really ugly fast. I judge Brad for not being the one to file and not doing so a long time ago. Jolie is clearly a heroin addict, anorexic and she is insane. Also she appears to be really conniving - her lawyer leaks the stories to TMZ (same as with Depp, whom TMZ defended until it turned out he cut off his fucking finger, I mean there is just no way to spin this one) and look just how much stuff we heard in 5 days - about Brad being drunk, stoned, bad dad, abusive etc. Meanwhile about her? Nothing. 
  • I'm team Brad. Poor idiot is too dumb to be this conniving. I feel like I'm watching a puppy getting kicked with every new story. I'm sure Angelina is sitting somewhere as if she was re-enacting that Gone Girl scene with Amy watching video of Nick and muttering "you asshole".
  • And then there is Marion
  • (with the good hair)
  • But she is having none of it. 
  • It gets better. She is a dead ringer for Angelina's mother.
  • "Brangeloones are coming for you Marion!!! Play dead! Play dead!"
  • Man, the only way out for Marion now is if the kid is black. Because no matter what she says there's still gonna be people thinking it's Pitt's.
  • But seriously. Considering that in the same week as Marion starts showing Angelina goes fucking insane and after 12 years files for divorce and Brad is hit with so much shit and mud the only thing else to say is that he abused her as well (perhaps that is not being thrown around because no one would believe if that bag of bones was abused she'd still be alive) I fully believe Pitt is the father. And it's not like Marion is gonna come out and say 'haha I banged Brad' and point to her womb.
  • "Does this mean Brad can go back to doing sex scenes? Angie was such an insecure megalomaniac that half his career is garbage. There's still time! Shave that shit off yer face! Shower! SHOW US YOUR HARD PENIS, GURL"
  • Actually by accident I saw the pictures of Pitt's dick (sometimes dicks sneak in D comment section). It's about Bloom's size so SMALL. 
  • Theroux reportedly has bigger one. Aniston is just winning all over the place, isn't she? 
  • Look at that comment section. Alcoholics are relapsing etc. among these people fans. It's insane.
  • I only read D's comments. Celebitchy is overrun with Angie's stans who think accusation equals crime. 
  • As for Jared news I cannot read any comments anywhere other than sole appreciation thread on LSA forums. He is universally mocked everywhere :/
  • Moving on...
  • on Monday I saw Bridget Jones' Baby. It was the most uneven from the series and had the most ridiculous script. A 43 year old chick with a messed up fake face falls into a mud and Patrick Dempsey falls for her! And then it turns out he is super rich! And he is sweet, romantic and caring! He brings her a teddy bear and a salmon! And when it turns our she is pregnant and has no idea whose it is, both guys actually compete over who gets to be more sweet to her! It was all more sci-fi than Stranger Things. Fortunately it was also really funny and had the funniest moments in the entire series including the trip to the hospital that made me laugh so hard I cried.
  • Solid season premiere for The Big Bang Theory. Katey Segal and Jack McBrayer showed up as Penny's mom and brother and we got second wedding for Penny and Leonard. Not too funny episode but very sweet and I'm hoping to see more of Dean Norris as a colonel after Howard in the future episodes, he was hilarious in his cameo role on Kimmy Schmidt.
  • Alex features Hank Azaria in his awesome In Character series
  • Ruth reviews The Light Between the Oceans 
  • Brittani wrote about the Emmys
  • FlickChicks review Zootopia
  •  m.brown reviews Don't Breathe
  • MettelRay lists 7 movies she wants to see this year
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    24 comments:

    1. Jared as Andy Warhol.... sorry but there is only one person that could play Andy Warhol. And he did what is the definitive performance 20 years ago because he knew, met, and wrote a song about Andy. And I'm still not over his passing.

      Brangelina.... is OVAH!!!!! And this is what Jennifer Aniston was doing at their lawn: http://i.imgur.com/TUJPoOS.gif

      I seriously want to pitch this idea to the studios. A Hollywood version of THE FINAL DELETION starring Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie. Two actresses are on the rise where Aniston marries the hottest superstar in the world and then he leaves her for Jolie. Aniston is crushed and struggles to maintain her sanity only to become completely insane as Broken Jennifer Aniston. Then, she hears the news that Brangelina is OVAH! She sends an invitation to Jolie. Jolie enters the house of Aniston where Aniston is playing piano and then says..... SISTER JOLIE.... I KNEW YOU WOULD COME!!! Then, they have the ULTIMATE BATTLE to the DEATH but it's not about who dies. It is about the deletion and who owns the soul and rights of one's name. Aniston wins and deletes Jolie who would become Aniston's obsolete mule!!!!!!!

      I really hate the media for dragging Marion Cotillard's good name into this bullshit. That shit is wrong!

      Gigi Hadid... respect!!!! Yay for Sarah Paulson. Hiddles looks older than my late grandfather... yikes!

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      1. That would be a sure hit of a movie :) Although it probably doesn't take much to take down this skeleton

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    2. This Brangelina thing is too messy, I just can't even. I was at work most of the week, and I caught glimpses of it. And I just believe it. I mean, they were together for so fckign long before getting married, hell, I would have been out of that relationship long before, since I doubt Pitt has just started to smoke weed..

      You know, I don't believe the baby is his, I mean.. he seems like he is careful, and this means I believe he did bang other women during his marriage. And I was team Aniston when Brangelina started, and I'm still team Aniston. I mean, Aniston might be a bit crazy as well, but she seems much more laid back and easygoing than ANgelina, and I'm happy for her. She is having the last laugh now.

      Thanks for the link! PS: I'm actually happy that Nancy ended up with Steve, he isn't that bad.. and it breaks the typical plot development where she goes straight for the other guy. I'm assuming they can now use this love triangle for the seconds season and seeing chemistry between Nancy and Jonathan will be interesting!

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    3. The Brangelina break-up is everywhere this week; it's going to get dragged out especially with Marion's pregnancy. I did find the Jennifer Aniston memes funny though. Stranger Things was awesome, can't wait for the next season!

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      1. Marion is in a bad situation now I do wonder what the hell is going to happen when her and Brad promote that movie of theirs, it's gonna be awkward as hell

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    4. Jared needs to trim the beard. Not shave it off, just trim. He's going to be so great as Warhol though.

      I'm glad you liked Stranger Things too! Now I swear I'll start Deadwood now that it's over.

      Thanks for the link! :)

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      1. Nah, that beard is perfect! so feral ;d

        DUDE START DEADWOOD ALREADY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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    5. Digging deeper I actually thought Simon Barrett and Adam Wingard came across as dickheads in that twitter drama, Wingard actually said "What you and your 12 followers"? in retort to a critic of his film. What is this? My dad is bigger than your dad?

      I did it funny when you said even if the baby's black they'd still think its Marion's, it's funny because it's true, people would think that!

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      1. Wingard did come off as a douchebag but Barrett was at least funny in his tweets. Still, a shame since Wingard other films are very good

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    6. I think that Angelina isnt good person... she gives me really bad vibes.. the fact that she is doing chatities that doesnt make me to like her.... and as an actress she isnt that good. Anyway... its their life they can do everything they want... i just hope the best for their children. That is matter.

      I visited lipstick alley jareds thread... it looks good site.. i mean its better than some tumblr blogs... i stop reading tumblr years now...

      Do you hear that tmz won the lawsuit? Well this is awful. The law if usa supports the people who steals videos or steals the privacy of the people... i thought that you can say everything you want at your home..... Jared Leto have to be careful more... he hires people to videoshoot his life... without contract... why?

      Also, can i say that i am disappointed bc Hugh Grant isnt at bridget's new movie? At least, mc dreamy looks really great and hot!!

      Have a nice week!!!!



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      1. There is a cool nod to Hugh's character and it's possible he will come back in sequels :)

        Jared needs to surround himself with more trustworthy people he is making a lot of really reckless calls lately when it comes to his entourage and media in general :/

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    7. Another fun, entertaining post. I will admit, this is the last...and only thing I've read about "Brangelina." Of course, I heard about it the day it happened, but never bothered doing more than shrugging my shoulders and saying "Oh wow."

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      1. Yeah there is a whole lot of wow in this story and it just keeps on going :)

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    8. Hi Margaret, thanks for the link! Phew, it’s been a crazy busy weekend.

      Hey glad you enjoyed Stranger Things too! I hope season 2 would be just as good though I actually don’t mind if it ends w/ just one season.

      Ahah, I really don’t care much about Hiddles anymore. Funny some people already paired him up w/ Pryanka Chopra, come one peeps he’s not THAT desirable.

      Props to Maggie Smith still winning despite not caring for these award [self-congratulary shows], more power to her!

      Oh geez, it’s so distasteful ppl keep bringing Jen Aniston to all the Brangelina news, seriously! Not team anyone, it’s just a sad story all around, but then again these ppl live in la la land [shrug]

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      1. I think it's funny and it was kinda inevitable given what a scandal it was when Brad cheated on Jen. Serves them right, she is pretty much living the dream comparing to them right now with her hot husband and carefree life

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      2. Very true. Karma is a b*tch and it's actually classy of Jen to never have spoken negatively about the two of them. And yes, living well is indeed the best revenge! I think her hubby is way better looking than Brad anyway.

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    9. I'm only 3 episodes in to Stranger Things but I'm loving it!
      I don't like all the Jimmy Fallon hate :(
      Thank you for the link too! You rock :)
      - Allie

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      1. Yeah it's such a great show! Cannot wait for season 2

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    10. I saw Bridget Jones also. I don't really care for any of the series as movies, but the best I could say was that my sister would definitely like it.

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      1. Yeah it's probably the most chick-flick movie of 2016 :)

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    11. Oh my, where to begin. Oh, right...THANKS.

      How is Lonely Hearts even a thing? The one DVD cover I saw looked like a sixth-grader designed it. What the Hell is going on around here? Can't we have nice things, and by things, I mean Hayek's...skills?

      Stranger Things was soooo good. I loved those fictional kids much more than many real ones I currently teach. Did I just type that out loud. While at school? Bad call. What isn't a bad call? Steve. Nancy knows that under that douchey exterior, Steve has a heart of gold. And a Flock of Seagulls.

      That prankster guy needs to fall on a bullet. How hasn't a bodyguard torn this guy's dick off?

      I will see Blair Witch just based on that tweet alone. Brilliant.

      RIP Brangelina. It's always sad to lose something so...young.

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      1. Lonely Hearts was actually a nice surprise comparing to that over...the promo material for that thing was absolutely appalling I wonder if Travolta has it written in his contract that posters for his movies must suck

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    12. SO happy Sarah Paulson won the Emmy. So well deserved. I was disappointed with Blair Witch. With all the hype surrounding it, I thought it would be scarier. But oh well. Thanks so much for the link!

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      1. Yeah it looks like Blair Witch is a missed opportunity :/

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