Friday, January 8, 2016

(217) I really need that time machine. Seriously. + links

By Sati. Friday, January 8, 2016
  • So Tom's favorite SW character is Han Solo. Me and Tommy? We're one and the same.
  • Look at this. Look how cute:
  • 21 Days till The Revenant:
  • God, this is just striking.
  • Jane Fonda proved herself useful this Oscar season. I think it would be a travesty if she got Academy Award nomination for her glorified cameo in Youth but this week she said this about Tom -  “I just submitted my nominating ballot. A film that surprised me is Legend. I saw The Revenant and asked who played the bad guy. It was Tom Hardy and then a lot of folks said, ‘You gotta see him in Legend'. He played twin brothers. He is really amazing in this film. I came to think of the two brothers as different people even though Hardy was playing both of them. And, as the more together of the brothers, Hardy is like a new Brando.”
  • So this week I saw a whole bunch of Harrison Ford's movies but I also saw this gem:
  • It's even funnier if you are familiar with Conan's bits with Jordan, but I swear to God when Ford asked "Is here OK?" I almost suffocated I was laughing so hard. I've seen this clip at least 10 times by now.
  • Love the pictures, the description and that insane number of notes. Tell me someone is building that fucking time machine. It's 2016! We should be able to do that!
  • I saw Working Girl. So in the end of that one Melanie Griffith got a new job, her own office, her own secretary and Harrison Ford. 
  • I...I got a new lamp for my desk last week. 
  • I actually haven't been at work this year at all because I came down with some virus from hell so I'm pretty sure someone already stole the lamp.
  •  Also my God. The hair and make up in this movie? What was that? I mean....what the hell was that?
  • Not a great week for marriage in movies I saw:
  • I rewatched What Lies Beneath (and made an inappropriate gifset of it) which is one of the best thrillers of the last years. Normally I'm like, dude, kill the cheating bastard. But here I was like - he is rich, he is a doctor, he's Harrison fucking Ford. but nooooo. Michelle Pfeiffer just had to care about some dead slut her husband cheated with and insist he goes to the cops. 
  • And then the ghost killed him in a river. 
  • What a waste.
  • 45 Years (the only film without Ford in it I saw this week btw) was one of the most depressing movies from 2015. Imagine you're married all those years and then you find out if only some chick didn't fell off the mountain your husband would be with her instead. Just awful.
  • Frantic. This was on TV so many times but I never paid enough attention. I am attaching the evidence because holy shit, there is a scene where Ford is completely naked and covering himself with a teddy bear.  I mean the movie was good but seriously that scene stole the show.
  • They just don't make them like they used to. And I don't just mean awesome and adorably obscene movie scenes. 
  • Also the man is objectified in every single film he does. I love that. Another film I saw was Six Days, Seven Nights and he was shirtless in every other scene.There's even a scene in Working Girl where he changes a shirt in his office and while he is shirtless all the women there are clapping. 
  • See these are the movies made by people who know what women want to see. Beautiful men being shirtless - YES. Eddie Redmayne's penis - NO. For the love of God - NO.
  • I spent an hour today making this gifset and my God was it an hour well spent.
  • Oh fine. I might have watched that movie twice this week.
  • OK some news! 
  • I have been writing more think pieces then usual. First I go after Tarantino, then as usual after the Church. I got such nice feedback on Tarantino one. Like "you're a c***" or "Daisy deserved better, it should have been you". Who writes that to a person who simply lays out  opinions about a movie? I probably should have reported the latter comment to Google because that's just fucked up.
  • I'm still really sick which sucks because Golden Globes are this Sunday. I will still watch it but I hate being sick when it's time for my favorite ceremony of the season. Plus as usual I'll write a recap and probably gonna live tweet the whole thing so this is gonna be super exhausting. 
  • BAFTA nominations are announced tomorrow and I am expecting a double nomination for Hardy. The Revenant gets released in US tomorrow as well and there seems to be a lot of praise for Tom from movie goers. Oh how awesome would Oscars be if he gets nominated and attends the ceremony.
  • The trailer and the poster for High-Rise were released and they are both very good. 
  • Apparently Disney is not happy just with Star Wars and Marvel bringing in so much money so they want to sodomize another classic. This time we are gonna see the origin story for Cruella de Vil. And she will be played by Emma Stone. This is just....not good.
  • Exciting The Big Bang Theory news! One of the very few good things about Nebraska was June Squibb's performance and she is gonna be playing Sheldon's meemaw! 
  • No surprise there but we get a confirmation - Hans Zimmer will score Chris Nolan's Dunkirk.
  • Here we go - chilling first trailer for The Conjuring 2. I was unable to gif it because it would be such a seizure trigger. Hopefully the sequel is just as good as the first movie which was one of the better horrors of the last few years.
  • This was the week so much evil was defeated - Star Wars passed Avatar in US box office - hopefully it gets number 1 globally soon - and HBO announced the most horrible thing they ever showed on their network and one of the worst things that has ever been unleashed on this world is finally coming to an end
  • Have you guys seen the way John Krasinski looks in his new movie? Jesus!
  • Keith, Courtney and Brittani have very different reactions to Hateful Eight
  • Andrew is back with Fistful of Thoughts 
  • CinemaRomantico shares random cinematic awards for 2015 
  • MettelRay chooses 5 worst movies of 2015
  • Alex lists top 10 movies of 2015 and a particularly delightful surprise for me - he saw Respire which I've been recommending since seeing it last spring and he included it on number 3 in his list
  • m.brown reviews Focus and I'm sure the review is better than the movie. I started watching it months ago and still don't feel like finishing it.


    1. Holy shit, that Jordan Schlansky clip is fucking hilarious. I love the way they've kept that character going so brilliantly over the last few years.

      1. I love it whenever Jordan is on the show, the bits Conan does with him are always the best

    2. I understand your love of Harrison Ford, but he just looks odd to me with blonde hair, lol. What Lies Beneath is awesome, then again, so are lots of his movies.

      The Cruella de Vil movie sounds awful. Who was asking for this?

      Cautiously optimistic about The Conjuring 2.

      Haven't read anything related to The Hateful Eight, at all. The title of your post intrigued me when I saw it, but I'm going to wait until after I see before I get into that one. That also means I haven't seen those comments you speak of. That's just awful. Hate you had to go through that.

      1. That's grey, not blonde :P

        Disney greedy executives, I think :/

        I actually got comments like that many times before but I don't think I realized how insane Tarantino fanboys can be, clearly very insane

    3. Harrison was a beefcake in the 80s. I love 'Working Girl' because it's so crazy and Harrison looked great. Admittedly the hair is hard to get past. Unfortunately that hair didn't quite die the death it should have. It was still quite active in the early 90s. I remember being a very young tween or soon to be tween (not quite in the teen years) and attempting to do that crap to my hair. Geez. Thankfully, I haven't picked up a bottle of hairspray since.

      Sorry you got trolled. Brava to you for showing some of the absolute filth that these creatures write. It reiterates your point about the level of "acceptable" misogyny in hollywood. I read a wonderful study about the men who treat women badly online. The study claimed that many of these men are very low status males, with basically nothing going for them. They are living in mama's basement, no job, no skills, etc. They pick on women b/c they want to make someone feel lower than them.

      1. It was just so jarring, the men looked normal but the women in this movie, especially Joan Cusack, I was just stunned. Ford's scenes are basically all fangirl service :)

        "They are living in mama's basement, no job, no skills, etc. They pick on women b/c they want to make someone feel lower than them."

        - that sounds about right :) it could have also been teenage Tarantino fans but I imagine they are too busy playing video games to write comments

    4. Chewbacca is my favorite Star Wars character. So, you've finally discovered the sexiness that is Harrison Ford.... I love that moment in Frantic which I think is one of Polanski's most underrated film. Working Girl is a classic and it's one of my mom's favorite films.

      What was that candy Tom Hardy was eating? Can I have some?

      I don't think I want to see Eddie Redmayne's penis. It must be bloody small.

      Yes, John Krasinski looks good but.... he's in a Michael Bay movie. Michael Bay is evil. Save yourself from the evilness of Michael Bay.


        smoked chocolate chips :)

    5. When did Krasinski get hot? He should keep that beard lol.

      I can't swoon over Harrison Ford. I grew up watching that guy's movies. He was never "hot" to me. Lol Han Solo is the best SW character though, hands down.

      And fuuuucccckkkk Avatar.

      Thanks for the link!

      1. There is so much wrong with the Harrison part of that comment :lol:

    6. hahaha those gifs of Hardy cracked me up. Thanks for that :)

      Hardy is amazing in The Revenant, a double nomination seems likely.

      That is shitty about the trolls. I haven't seen it yet so I didn't read that post but goddamn people can suck.

      Hope you are feeling better soon :)

      1. BAFTAS just double snubbed him :/

        People sure can suck :)

        Thanks so much!

    7. I am SO sad that Girls is coming to an end! I only started watching it like, last month, I'm nearly caught up already and now I learn this?! I'll just be in the corner, crying...
      - Allie

    8. Harrison was beefcake in the 80's/early 90's for sure.
      I have not read your Daisy or Spotlight pieces, I want to see the movies before I do.
      And John Krasinski...drool. Oh my Lawd (fans self). Somehow we got a subscription that we did not order of Men's Health and Mr. Krasinski did a pictorial and let just say, he looks damn good. I like Krasinski in general, I think he's a good actor and he's had a hard time with the movie career taking off, so I hope this film does it for him.

      1. Yeah I saw those Men's Health pics too :) I have no idea what his upcoming movie is about, though just seen that very smart promo pic and that's it

    9. I'm surprised and appalled by some of the comments on your Hateful Eight review. People are just disgusting aren't they?

      Loving that Jane Fonda quote about Hardy. Girlfriend is absolutely right.

      1. They sure are :/

        I really hope that Fonda spreading hype will get Hardy somewhere since his own country heinously betrayed him

    10. First, f*ck BAFTA.

      Next...I read Eddie Redmayne's penis and vomited in my mouth a little. Is that in Danish Girl? I don't think I even want to try that one if that's the case.

      Please god no.

      I should be seeing Revenant in 2 weeks...I'm STOKED!

      1. Indeed, fuck'em

        It is. Amber Heard is in it so at least there is something to look at there but seriously that was one of the worst things I've ever seen.

    11. Hardy getting snubbed is just sad. And I'm surprised Mad Max in general got only technical nominations for a BAFTA and nothing for director or best picture. Surely, the visual and technical appeal was elevated by the director and god damn, it was the best thing from 2015!!

      And the fact that I haven't seen Redmayne's penis makes me real happy.. though I do want to see the damn movie. How can I skip the penis? Is it going to jump at me and surprise me? Is it a surprise attack? Or is it like a gradual penis shot when I have a reaction time to close my eyes before it appears?

      PS: John looks so hawt. I read somewhere that Emily doesn't really like his new bod... I can't really believe that.

      Also , thanks for the link!

      1. No, it's in an awful and terrible scene where Redmayne is looking at herself in the mirror and there are all those close ups of his bony body and weird-ass facial expressions

    12. Hi! How're you doing? Except for being sick of course, which sucks, but at least you have an excuse not to be at work and watch movies!

      Hardy wasn't expecting such good candy, he liked it ;d.

      The Golden Globes are here, damn where did the year go? I will make myself Mojiro for the night.

      1. Well being sick kinda takes fun of all of this and I hate that I'm gonna go to work after being absent for 2 weeks, the shit probably piled up over this time:/

    13. I'm shocked by what you wrote. Are we supposed to want to see the Danish Girl ? And... is Eddie Redmayne trying to go the Michael Fassbender road ? (someone has to tell him about a word called talent).

      I'm not fond of ceremonies, but I don't think it is rare for the Baftas to make bad choices. I have always been astonished by the lack of english movies sometimes. Like, someone has to change a little bit the rules to make it more about britain, bloody hell !

      So, nothing against the Cruella De Vil project (even if I thought Maleficent was a missed opportunity to make a good movie about a vilain, the f*cked it up a la Disney), but Emma Stone ? What is wrong with Hollywood and those casting ! They need more talented people behind the scene, obviously to make more smart and interesting choices when it comes to people in front of the camera.

      1. I don't think anyone should want to see The Danish Girl :)

        This whole trend of doing new films based on classics is a disaster. Not a single good movie came out of it, unless I'm forgetting something

    14. Awwww!!! LOVE those gifs of Hardy reading candy label. Man I'd watch an ENTIRE movie of him just doing mundane every day stuff like that, SO FREAKING ADORABLE!! If I were the interviewer I won't be able to concentrate on anything Leo said.

      Whoa, I need to see Frantic then, apparently [ehm]

      Ahah, John Krasinski must be working out w/ his wife, he must be inspired by her buff physique in her films! Lookin' good, dude!

      1. Yes, do watch Frantic :) It's....quite a visually beautiful film:)

    15. Whoa that High-Rise movie does look good. And thank you so much for encouraging me to see Respire. I loved every second of it. And that final scene... my god.

      1. I'm so glad you liked it this much! It's such a shame how underseen the movie is

    16. LOL, that Conan clip...

      Oh, I love Six Days, Seven Nights. It's always been a guilty pleasure.

      1. Wow I never thought guys could enjoy that one! :)