Friday, April 8, 2016

(230) Look at the damn flowers, Gimple + links

By Sati. Friday, April 8, 2016
  • I am not equipped to handle this.
  • Oh my:
  • Tumblr reacted in the only right way:
  • But nobody's perving was as insightful as mine
  • Then he was on The Talking Dead looking even hotter:
  • I have barely survived Monday.
  • I fell off my bed on Tuesday morning. I'm not saying it's related to me watching all of this on Monday....but I bet it somehow is.
  • On Tuesday I saw that. And that was nearly the end of me.  I'm not even sure what got me more - the story of saving the dog or kissing the interviewer's hand. Oh, God. SWOON. If you are somehow not skipping those bullet points and wondering "who the hell is this guy and why is he most prominently featured here and not Harrison Ford" watch this video.
  • Also look what I made!
  • Of course with typical Morgan's luck while he did nothing wrong (what he did was in fact terrific) everything turned into shitstorm. People praised his performance and not much else. That's because the showrunners made asinine decision to switch point of view to the victim so instead of delivering TWD's own Red Wedding kind of scene we got annoying cliffhanger. In turn the whole talk about how idiotic it was overshadowed the talk of JDM's awesome work. I am motherfucking livid here.
  • I mean it was so bad it got not one but TWO Hitler reaction videos:
  • The plus side is that those things live in the moment. Oh, don't get me wrong, this will be looked upon as one of the worst decisions on TV for eternity but here's the thing - once season 7 starts people are not gonna be that pissed off about it anymore, especially that I'm sure Scott Gimple (the showrunner) is gonna commit more heinous shit and people will have new things to whine about. Future viewers, while binging the show and having the opportunity to see season 7 premiere right after season 6 finale, won't complain about cliffhanger because they won't have to wait for what follows. Unfortunately for me I am right here in this moment and I have to witness 6 months of whining, screaming that people won't watch anymore etc. instead of every single person out there proclaiming they would willingly drop to their knees in front of JDM because of how hot and awesome he is. 
  • Damn it, why can't I have nice things?
  • I am just still so astonished the showrunners thought that this cliffhanger was a good idea. The entire season they hype Negan and everyone knows he is gonna kill someone. Then Negan finally shows up and they don't show who he killed. I mean...what the hell? This is such a mess. Look at the flowers, Gimple.
  • Still I maintain this is nowhere near as terrible as what is happening on Game of Thrones right now. TWD at least has Negan and JDM. Thrones has big fat nothing at that point. I can barely watch this anymore. Oh and to add fuel to the fire the show is gonna have its talk show now, kinda like TWD has TTD after the show. They used to have those ridiculous inside the episode videos where they would explain the scenes - instead of actually you know having good writing and storytelling - or have Martin come in and explain what the fuck because the showrunners just couldn't understand. Now it's gonna be a whole talk show. Oh, good.
  • I mean I hear the writing on TWD is atrocious too, but I'm on season 3 and I'm just doing all of that to catch up and watch every week for JDM. That's my only reason. Give him as much as you can and if it's just him being all menacing in leather jacket or hopefully shirtless - best show ever. I don't know what kind of intelligence the writers of the show have seeing they thought cliffhanger was an awesome idea but surely not even they are so dumb to ignore that if it wasn't for this man that finale would be irredeemable. Now the journalists at least go "it's bad but JDM!". Without him, according to critics and majority of audience, it is just shit. There is a small percentage of people complaining that he was too skinny (Jeffrey lost 40 pounds for Texas Rising a while back, I think he looks awesome). I'd love to see those guys on their knees while him, all 6'2'' of him stands there while holding barbwire wrapped baseball bat and talks all calmly that he will beat them to death. I think indeed that would end with pee pee pants.
  • In other Jeffrey-related news I rewatched The Resident. The film is not very good but he is great in it. Still the idea that any woman would say 'no let's not do this' as he is half naked and she is in bed with him is one of the most ridiculous things I've ever seen and that includes that fucking TWD cliffhanger.  
  • First Hilary Swank leaves him in Ireland and now this.  Unacceptable.
  • In your weekly Harrison Ford watch it turns out my favorite silver fox is on vacation. He still has the fabulous beard. Also check out the hilarious Honest Trailer for The Force Awakens! "Old"? Oh no, they didn't!
  • Why are there still people surprised when Harrison wins "the hottest" contest? And what even is "young Harrison Ford" distinction? ANY Harrison Ford. ANY.
  •  The awesome Nathaniel of The Film Experience is having another Hit Me with Your Best Shot next Tuesday - for Witness! You guys have 4 days to see this wonderful film and choose your best shot. Trust me - it's a great movie and Harrison's best performance. And also look at that gif above. Look how beautiful. You wanna watch it. Oh, you definitely wanna watch it. Yes, I am trying to hypnotize you right now.
  • We finally have posters for The Neon Demon. Hopefully the trailer follows soon.
  • In a truly shocking turn Amy Schumer is actually right about something  - not that she is 6 or 8 - I am size 6 which means Schumer is about 10 or 12 - but she is right that ain't plus size.Saying a woman who wears size 8 or 10 is plus size just makes everyone feel terrible. That is not 'plus' anything that is just fucking normal. I'd be that size too if I haven't been dieting for the last 4 months straight like a crazy person.
  • BB8 can now watch Force Awakens with you. If the robots take over and they are like BB8 I am on board.
  • This Doctor Strange movie is shaping up to be some sort of abomination. Eijofor looks like he is dying inside and I have no idea what the hell they did to Mads Mikkelsen's face. It's like something made out of glitter exploded on him.
  • There's a new, chilling trailer for The Conjuring 2
  • Rogue One trailer was really dope, especially because of Alexandre Desplat's gorgeous spin on Star Wars theme and that bizarre siren sound (1. I should probably know what is that sound but I'm not that deep in SW fandom 2. It reminded me of Prometheus trailer). But the world just sucks. Why is it that every time a girl is a lead in something there are so many people acting like this is an issue? There are plenty of men leading action flicks - Tom Cruise is doing some new action shit at the moment, Marvel is mostly guys, DC is mostly guys, Liam Neeson is kicking ass in B (or Z) movies...but there are 2 SW movies with girl as a lead and the world is collapsing? I can only assume these guys complaining don't have daughters or even prospects to have daughters - on account of their parents' basement not attracting many hook ups - because it is awesome that girls these days have cool action chicks to look up to. Rey, Furiosa, Mary Elizabeth Winstead kicking all kinds of alien ass, Emily Blunt being hardcore in sci-fi flicks. Bring it!
  • Colin Firth may be coming back in Kingsman sequel.
  • I don't know who Vince Neil is but if Nic Cage looks classy in comparison....a human garbage?
  • Charlize. NOOOO. I am so disenchanted here. She is my favorite actress. I always knew she was a bit kooky and had terrible taste in men, but hey, nobody's perfect. But what she said there is so fundamentally stupid. Everyone knows prettier actresses have better opportunities than plain ones. Even when something is a biopic the studio will hire a better looking actor not the actor who resembles the real person most. And Theron herself is the last to talk here - she gets all the lucrative roles (right now she is cashing in 10 million for apparently 15 minutes screentime in that stupid SWATH sequel, it was just announced she is gonna be in next Fast and Furious movie) AND she used make up to ugly herself up enough to play Aileen Wuornos. So she really can do whatever she wants. I mean....I am sorta hoping she has a drug problem or drank too much because what she said is just pathetic.
  • Jai Courtney confirmed that Suicide Squad is undergoing reshoots. Sighs. Meanwhile Warner Bros continues their disastrous course of action. Look at that fucking line up. What the hell is "Shazam" and why would anyone want to watch that? 
  • On the bright side, during MTV Movie Awards tomorrow they are gonna show a new footage from SSquad.
  • So what's new with me other than falling off bed after JDM overdose? My eye is a bit better. But my tooth is fucked up and I need to go to the dentist next Wednesday and God knows what he finds there. I can't chew with the right side, my wisdom teeth have been shady for a while now and I actually haven't been to dentist for a long time because nothing hurts, so I assume he is gonna find a lot of horrific shit there. It's gonna be a massacre. My mother runs to our dentist with every little thing (she finds him hot) and she assures me it doesn't hurt, but Jesus. Drill to the bone. I am close to fainting whenever I think of it.
  • The only sans JDM perving movie I saw this week was Hail Caesar. It was really mediocre. The script was just filled with too much dialogue about nothing, the cast wast wasted and the whole thing was rather tedious. That Alden Ehrenreich kid was very good, in fact watching him made me think if Disney is so hell bent on doing Han Solo solo movie (which they are because MONEY), they should go with him. Kid has looks, charm and there is a little bit of Ford's spark in the eye factor there. And really without him and small but delightful turns from Fiennes and Swinton the movie would be unwatchable.
  • Check out Ruth's latest Five for the Fifth 
  • Brittani trashes TWD finale but admits how fine JDM is 
  • MettelRay reviews The Witch
  • Matt talks Rogue One trailer
  • Keith reviews Midnight Special 
  • and finally m.brown wrote a brilliant review of terrific The Big Short


    1. LOL sad Affleck memes.

      Yeah, GoT is still 10 times better than TWD in my opinion, even when they do stupid shit like killing off Stannis. Gimple is terrible, and I little to no hope for S7 after the massive drop in quality from S4 on. I hope it gets better, I really do, but they'll have to make A LOT of changes for it to do so.

      Yikes, wtf Charlize?

      Those Neon Demon posters look great. I really want to forgive Refn for Only God Forgives, I hope Neon Demon helps....I'm just kidding, nothing will make me forgive that shit. I do really want to see this though. lol

      Thanks for the link!

      1. Maybe AMC does something, they must be aware of the outrage over that ridiculous cliffhanger. I'll watch even if it's awful, though :)

        Only God Forgives was one of the worst things ever and not just movie-wise, like in the world :P

    2. good post! have u ever done a top 10 films or top 10 directors?

      1. My fav movies list is always a work in progress, I should probably finish it some time. I don't think I even have top 10 directors, I don't even have a favorite director

    3. I'm pretty skeptical about Doctor Strange. One reason is because Rachel McAdams looks to be playing another girlfriend role like Jane Foster and Pepper Potts. C'mon, Marvel, you can do better than that! Also, Mads Mikkelsen looks like some kind of David Bowie copycat in that makeup.

      Also, regarding what you said about how we're getting more female heroines like Rey, Furiosa, Rita Vitarski, etc.. I too say bring it on! It's taking forever for Marvel and DC to make a solo female superhero movie. So we should be glad Star Wars is making more significant progress.

      1. Marvel has especially embarassed themselves - DC at least has Wonder Woman, Marvel still didn't do Black Widow solo film and at that point her character was so butchered and oversatured I wouldn't even wanna watch that

    4. JDM deserves better. In fact, he should be a bigger star right now.

      One of my favorite scenes in Witness is the moment Harrison Ford's character takes Kelly McGillis and Lukas Haas to a restaurant where they eat hot dogs. He takes a bit and then sees them pray as he's like "uh...." It's those little moments in film that I love as any actor who could do something like that can pretty give you a home run and go all the way.

      Vince Neil is the singer of the 80s metal band Motley Crue who once killed his buddy while driving drunk and crashing into another car where 2 people were severely injured and only did very little time. He also made a sex tape in the early 90s after he left the band with softcore porn star Brandy Ledford and hardcore porn star Janine Lindmulder. Yeah, he's a douchebag and I saw the fight with him and Nic Cage and I think Cage was trying to fuck with him.

      The Neon Demon and Rogue One... YES...

      You're right. Charlize has bad taste in dudes. Some asshole from Third Eye Blind, a guy that was supposed to be Aragorn, and Sean Penn. I may not be attractive nor experienced but I have a lot more to offer to her than those jabronies, for maybe a few months.

      1. It's such a sweet scene :) He was so well cast as that character, I think it's one of the best casting decisions I've ever seen

        Wow, sounds like a real charmer! :/

        I just cannot wait for The Neon Demon trailer. I hope it's gonna premiere in Cannes and the studio releases first promo material then

        Haha, I think most people have more to offer than Sean Penn though :)

    5. Welcome to my nightmare with regard to TWD. The writing on this show is frequently subpar. I'm not sure why I keep watching, but every now and then they surprise me with a brilliant episode. So I'm invested. I'm on this train until it hits the wall. JDM has been the icing on an unfrosted cake. I'm so excited he's recently joined the cast and I can't wait to see S7 for him (and him alone). He was the best thing in an a 90 minute season finale episode of nothing but whiny moans. But as long as I get to see JDM doing naughty things on TWD I will be happy.

      I took Dr. Strange off my viewing list. I know it's called Doctor Strange, but some of the choices in this film don't appeal to me.

      I totally agree w/ you and Schumer about this plus size thing. Size 10 is not plus sized. It's ridiculous. I had a friend who was in college, a 6'0 foot (182.88 cm) tall, beautiful blonde, and she was a very thin size 10. Much more slender than Schumer, but she was in now way shape or form plus sized.

      1. Yep I'm gonna be watching s7 with great joy but just because of him. Hopefully there is a lot of him and throw in a lot for fangirl service too :D

        It just looks awful and the cast looks quite miserable shooting it

        Yeah that is definitely not plus size. The garbage like that printed in magazines just makes everything worse

    6. Oh and I totally don't get the complaints about a female lead in Star Wars. For goodness sake there have been female action heroes for a long time now. Who are these people who can't wrap their heads around it?

    7. re-shoots for Suicide Squad. Oh no.....

      Good to hear your eye is getting better!

      I'd say something else but I don't watch TWD or GoT. Seems they are a bit shitty at the moment - that cliff-hanger sounded terrible.

    8. Vince Neil (thevoid99 explains him much better) is an ass and go Nicholas Cage! I will forever be mystified over Gimple and company thinking that a cliffhanger worked much better than actually resolving the scene. Like it's not going to be spoiled before the season starts. TWD has dedicated spoiler hounds.

      GoT is biting off Talking Dead, I see. I don't think I'll be making a point to watch the after show. A few other shows have tried it and they've just been pale imitators (Falling Skies, for one).

      Suicide Squad just did not look good to me at all. I hope for the folks looking forward to it, this is a case where the reshoots make a film better but I know that's rare. Any film that features Jai Courtney, Scott Eastwood and Cara D, I can't sit through that.

      Rogue One looks fantastic. I got chills watching it. I think it actually looks better than The Force Awakens (and I enjoyed that one). To the folks complaining about another female lead...shut up. Let's see how happy you are when the Han Solo trailer drops, the SW movie no one wants because Ford can't come back for that one.

      I hope your tooth is better and I am glad the pink eye is better.

      1. You are right this trio is not encouraging but Cara is supposed to walk around in outlandish clothes and Courtney is doing a good job based on trailers. Eastwood I'm hoping has a small part. I think Robbie and Leto will make the movie but hopefully jokes land better than with Deadpool where there was plenty of nice tries but some of it just didn't get me to laugh

        My tooth will be better, hopefully, but I'm going to dentist in 2 days and I'm freaking out so bad :/

    9. I'm so glad you and I are in agreement with Hail, Caesar! But then again, we usually always have similar taste. It was just a giant waste of everyones time--viewers and actors.

      Neon Demon body is ready.

      1. Oh yeah. I see what the Coens were trying to do there but it was just not witty, interesting or insightful enough. A very forgettable movie.

    10. Hey thanks so much for the link Margaret!

      Woo wee… JDM is so damn hot in that leather jacket, and he can totally be menacing (and charming at the same time).

      Whoah, is that gif of Harrison from Witness? I love his rugged good looks, dayum!

      Excited about Rogue One, I like Felicity Jones too, an underrated actress. Oh Charlize [face palm] just STFU woman. I like her, she's got spunk but that comment is idiotic and so out of touch.

      Warner Bros just continues down the path of hell at this point. My goodness, there's a movie called SHAZAM?? Yikes!

      1. You're welcome!

        He wears leather jackets a's so....distracting to look at :)

        Yep! Witness is a fantastic movie, you should see it!

    11. JDM absolutely killed it. LOVED the charisma and menace he brought to his performance. Exactly how Negan is supposed to be. But ofc the cliffhanger had to fuck everything up.

      Neon Demon looks good. Hoping Refn bounces back after that pretentious Only God Forgives

      1. So glad you liked JDM! I cannot wait to see what he does in future seasons, this is such an awesome character for him to play and hopefully it will finally mean his big break into bigger movies and roles

        OGF was just the worsr :/