Thursday, August 4, 2016

(247) And we looked up at Ben Affleck...and we shouted "SAVE US" and Ben Affleck whispered...

By sati (harlequinade) Thursday, August 4, 2016
  • hopefully yes. because shit is straight up embarrassing right now.
  • Get your house in order, WB. 
  • (Batfleck had some botox injected, clearly). Also must share these:
  • oh affleck, this is what booze, cocktail waitresses, more booze, nannies and more booze, and probably coke and other shit does to you.
  •  He looks like somebody just called Tom Brady a cheater again
  •  Is his head eating his face? What the actual fuck is happening here? Where are his eyeballs? What is that hairline?
  • But still, hail Batfleck!
  • (to my non-DC fans readers - I firmly believe (and there are many who believe it too) Ben's solo Batman movie will be the first great movie of upcoming DC flicks. Forget WW, Snyder wrote it. Forget JL. Also his Batman is probably gonna be the saving grace of JL as he was in BvS. And there's hope Batfleck rescues Robbie and Leto and features them. I swear to God Batman's solo by Batfleck is my only anticipated movie atm)
  • Seriously tho, Ben get some rest, man. 
  • So, on Monday premiere David Ayer shouted (and he did apologize for that very shortly after on twitter) "fuck Marvel". You would probably still be reading about the outrage over this by disgruntled fans of both sides but something much worse happened.
  • Oh, so much worse.
  • Suicide Squad which people were psyched for, which I have been hyping for a year and twitting about it relentlessly on twitter (you guys still follow me? lol :P) and which is like, the only anticipated movie for me this year embargo lifted. 
  • and gates of Hell fucking opened.
  • and the shit went EVERYWHERE.
  • That was me:
  • That was me too:
  • and this as well:
  • The reviews are fucking savage. They are worse than BvS. I'm sure they are exaggerated and it's critics sheep mentality of one person hating and then another person hating until they all hate it or just say they hate something. I'm sure at worst the film is mediocre. I'm sure I, as shallow as I am (and if you don't know how shallow I am you will by the time you reach next few paragraphs), will still have good time just because of Leto's abs or something. 
  • But those reviews are just terrible, man.
  • The worst part? The studio sabotaged the movie, the fans, themselves.
  • WB...are there even words for what the execs done? When embargo lifted and horrid reviews started pouring in me and other fans were blaming the critics for criticizing the movie for all sorts of weird stuff (one reviewer criticized the movie for Amanda Waller being a cold character. The fuck?). But then this happened. To summarize WB learned nothing from BvS, meddled and cut a bunch of  stuff from the movie (including Leto's scenes so to me that is like a mortal sin) but they had the audacity to use the cut stuff in marketing so it's both a bad situation and the situation that is pissing me off. 
  • The Joker is an iconic villain, you have Academy Award winning amazing actor playing him, you have 30StM thirsty fangirls lining up to see the man (tumblr fucking loves the movie, tho, so the abuse being taken out at least achieved that. Some of those girls are like 'I'd let him abuse me' and I'm like that Davos pic I posted above upon reading it), people being psyched for him and you cut half of his scenes because they contain moments where he is intense and abusive? Look at the stuff that is cut! And they put it in promos. So we know exactly just how much they butchered. And it is a lot. And the most embarrassing shit? WB execs loved Bohemian Rhapsody trailer so much that they got the company that cut it TO EDIT THE MOVIE. I seen some of the footage of some weird purple lens flares all over shit. It's like someone sprayed purple diarrhea on the lens. 
  • Well shit and fuck. When your one movie fails and gets criticized for bad pacing and bad editing, by all means you get the trailer company to edit the next one. 
  • Jesus Christ, is this the real life or is this just fantasy?
  • And the reaction to reviews? I mean this is the actual comment and there were more like this:
  • Sheeple wake up! illuminati! Critics! Feminists! Ghostbusting my balls! Tin foil hats! Rotten Potatoes! Achtung! Conspiracy! MCU! Studio Interference! Joker for 10 minutes! Shaved unicorns buying off critics! Call Mulder and Scully! You're all idiots who can't think for yourselves! Only I am smart enough to think for myself! You morons! Put me in charge of Warner brothers! Come on sheeple!
  • David Ayer tweeting that he made the movie for people who love movies and live in the real world is worse than his Marvel comment. I mean critics are overreacting but come on. Also this is just laughable seeing as the studio totally fucked him over and he is still covering for them. He is out there telling everyone who will listen that theatrical cut is his cut. Yes I know they are under contract not to say anything damaging and they don't have the balls of Jeremy Irons who was like "lol BvS is a mess" but come on. He is just insulting people now when he himself insulted the fans by handing in the script after 6 weeks and didn't even get a clause in his contract that he will have a say in final cut. Ayer you were the chosen one for fuck's sake
  • The cast is such lovely people. They don't deserve this situation.
  •  Also this:
  • So instead of the meltdown, let's do something else.
  • Let us focus on what has been the most entertaining thing this week.
  • And that is Jared Leto's outfits.
  • When people attend the premiere in normal clothes but Jared is like 'fuck it':
  • When Jared sees Gucci green monstrosity and he must have it:
  •  Jared actually cleared this up but let's choose to continue to believe in the funny version.
  • "tell me you bleed?":
  • Here's Jared hyping getting out of the car. 
  • And here's Jared kidnapping some random child on that premiere
  • He was also on Fallon, brought Jimmy a snake (there was some talk of 'licking his snake' but I passed out), called Joker a sweetheart and did this:
  • I've seen this interview like 10 times already.
  • Just no mercy to ovaries.
  • I do realize that the following is inappropriate even for this website, but it's so mesmerizing I need to share this.
  • this was me when I saw this pic on the left.
  • Is this even possible? Like medically?
  • Had he been in Shame...that lamp Fassbender walked next to would get so knocked off that table.
  • And before I fall off this chair quickly celebrity/movie news: 
  • Jimmy Fallon will host Golden Globes. Good choice, he did well hosting Emmys. I remember Steve Carrel gasping for breath he was laughing so much.
  • I was almost sure acid be droppin' in Hollywood when I read this. Then I read this and I was 100% sure.
  • more confirmation on Deadwood movie being in the works.
  • New still of Negan:
  • Oh, things not going great for Hiddles.
  • The dark side of the web hits again.
  • Kanye wanna design furniture you guys.
  • Bloom's dick shots leaked and it's not a big deal. Especially considering the above pic of Leto. People are telling me that this is a big deal though? Seems I was blessed in RL then...
  • I love how Bloom hasn't done anything relevant since he punched Bieber as Dicaprio cheered years ago and now he took it out and is trending on twitter. 
  • Jared should have unleashed his during critics screening to blind these people and prevent them from writing their reviews.
  • and finally Margot Robbie is friend zoning Prince Harry via text messages.
  • I'm seeing Suicide Squad in 19h. Look for my tweets in 21h
  • m.brown reviews Nerve 
  • Brittani reviews Hail, Caesar!
  • Kevin, Ruth and Keith review Jason Bourne
  • FlickChicks share 10 trailers from Comic Con
  • Courtney, epileptic.moondancer and Nostra weigh in on Suicide Squad


    1. I might have stared at that picture of Leto holding his sausage for a solid 10 minutes. Damn.

    2. Thanks for the link!

      Oy, what's up w/ Ben's hair??! Terrible suit on him AND Cavill too. Oooohhh but I LOVE that pic w/ Jason Momoa, how adorable is he! And seriously Henry is seriously the most boring man in the planet!!

      No, SS isn't worse than BVS. I mean I wasn't as excited as you about the movie so I had a more neutral expectations and I definitely didn't roll my eyes as I did watching BVS. But yeah, you won't like how few screentime the Joker got here, though Margot's Harley is amazing. I guess we'll find out how you feel about it soon :)

      I'll be posting my Five for the Fifth later tonight, and I have one question inspired by Suicide Squad. I'd love to hear your thoughts!

      1. You're welcome!

        I will post my thoughts on Squad later today, I'll try to visit your blog too!

      2. I'll read your review after I finished mine. Cool, I'm real curious to hear your thoughts about the petition to shut down RT.

      3. That petition is ridiculous. Critics are stupid and have no real influence, people should be petitioning against WB

    3. I really think Ben should get back with Jennifer Garner, he's starting to lose it. I also think Warner Brothers really need to back off. This is anything new that they've done as they tend to freak out a lot. After all, they backed out of a Superman movie that was to be directed by Tim Burton with Nicolas Cage as Superman. I read Dan Gilroy's final script and man, it had potential to be amazing. If Suicide Squad is a disappointment, blame WB.

      Well, now I know why Orlando Bloom has managed to score some fine chicks. Dammit. At least I know why Selena Gomez went to him instead and realized he got what Justin Beiber doesn't have.

      Hiddles.... the decline continues. Soon, he will come to your place on a rainy day and beg for your forgiveness.

      1. Yeah he really looks like he is going through something awful.

        Haha I wouldn't take Hiddles in, he is tainted for life now

    4. I read the reviews for Suicide Squad and said a little prayer for you. Then I wept. But I'll still see it...because...yeah.

      1. I liked it but it' much wasted potential. I feel so bad and pissed about Leto. He really was onto something and they gave him so little screentime

    5. Stop bragging about the massive cocks that Poland has :P lololol

      That pic though....why can't he go nake paddle boarding?

      I'm lol'ing over Ayer yelling "fuck Marvel" it's like he cursed himself.

      I'm probably not going to get to see SS for like 2 weeks. Fml.

      Thanks for the link!

      1. We do have some nice things here apparently :lol:

        Jared? Naked paddle boarding? Do you want tsunami, girl?

    6. Hi Sati! I'm in the midst of grad school finals for the semester so I hope to be watching more movies as soon as this week lets up. But the suicide squad reviews have left me heartbroken. For the love of all that is good--PLEASE DC GET RID OF ZACK SYNDER. How man $250 million dollar movies can that man take down before they fire him? I know he didn't direct this time, but he still produced. Please someone put Affleck in charge. At least he knows how to make movies and the man made a damn fine Batman.

      1. Snyder definitely had his hack fingers over this in editing room but the fault lies in WB execs office. They should be pushing for Batfleck solo as soon as, not doing JL before! It's infuriating seeing how stupid they are

    7. haha you are absolutely insane, and I love it. I think now it's time to confess to you that I have touched jared leto's ass at a 30stm gig in 2008. very excited now to hear your thoughts on suicide squad!

      1. OH MY GOD! Did he do something about it? :D

      2. haha nobody touched him, so when I did he was kind of irritated and thought my friend was it, he gave her a really furious look, I nearly pissed myself!!

      3. Wow! Well he should expect that kind of thing given he is always throwing himself in the crowd of women :)

    8. Thanks for the link and as you've read I really liked the film. Sure it has its issues, but it was a blast to watch.

      1. Blast for sure! Just wish they gave these actors better story and better film especially Jared that was laughable how they wasted him

    9. I shouldn't keep staring at that photo but I just...can'! Does it get bigger every time I scroll up for another look? I think it does. This is an unhealthy way to start my morning, ha!
      Really can't wait for your review of Suicide Squad! I'm hopefully seeing it on Sunday :)
      Thank you for the link!
      - Allie

      1. I think it might. I think it has powers :lol:

    10. Great post sati :) I couldn't agree with your sentiments more, tho I still need to see BvS. And you know what? After seeing and enjoying SS, I think I'll like it more than Civil War, which I truly hated.

      "(including Leto's scenes so to me that is like a mortal sin)"

      This was what pissed me off the most. All that build up and less than ten minutes of the fucking J-Man. Suuuuuuch bullshit. Fucking reshoots, and I bet it was because they showed it to a 'test audience' and they didn't like certain things. Like you said on my page, Leto being too evil. That is his character!! How fucking pathetic...

      "Jared should have unleashed his during critics screening to blind these people and prevent them from writing their reviews."

      Fucking oath!!! Couldn't agree more. You know what I say? Fuck the critics, they don't know their face from their arsehole. SS, despite the shoddy editing and fractured result, is fucking funny, entertaining, and isn't lame like EVERY marvel film I have ever seen. And I especially include Deadpool in that group. Even Will Smith is awesome.

      That green coat Leto is wearing is pure awesome. And I had to laugh at that photo of Leto on stage. Damn!!!

      Look forward to hearing your thoughts on SS :)

      1. Yes it was absolutely because of test audience! They had issues with Joker being intense. WHO THE HELL ARE THOSE PEOPLE?!

        I though Squad was much funnier than Deadpool - there were way too many jokes that didn't land in that for me and that just made me cringe

        Leto's outfits are amazing source of entertainment :)

    11. And that pic of Affleck is disturbing. Does he have some freaking disease or something?! It doesn't even look like him!!

      1. I think it's bad plastic surgery and alcoholism

    12. The Affleck pic is just weird. Have nothing else to add because I stopped reading when you started talking about Suicide Squad. Going to see it tonight and don't want to know anything more than I already do. Sorry.

      1. Yeah I don't know what is going on with him, he is probably horribly stressed because of his involvement with DC

    13. Loved this post!

      I liked Suicide Squad - I don't care what the critics said, it was fun and I want more! But not Justice League, I just loved the villains.