Friday, September 30, 2016

(255) Bunnies, bubbles and balloons + links

By s. Friday, September 30, 2016
  • Prince George should just rule this planet. Have you seen this? It's amazing! Also how big is Charlotte already? And the dress and the shoes! That moment with Kate descending the stairs, though - Jesus, I can barely walk in heels like on the normal sidewalk and she is walking down the stairs and carrying a child.
  • And yesterday they played with bunnies, bubbles and balloons! Adorable alert! YEY!
  • Meanwhile George's aunt cannot afford Adele. You'd think Adele would play anyway, it's pretty nice publicity to play at Douchess' sister wedding for free.
  • Speaking of Adele, here's Emily Blunt looking like thinner Adele on the cover of The Hollywood Reporter.  She also said some garbage about her least favorite word being 'likable'. OK then. The Girl on the Train opens here next week and in spite of the shameless 'here's new JLaw embrace her' promo of this Haley Bennett person and the laughable appearance of Blunt who is supposed to be playing an alcoholic trainwreck I may actually go see it. Unless that dreadful Kanye song that was featured in the trailer is in the movie. Then fuck off, you'll get none of my money.
  • Gross.That's all.
  • And now we go back to my continuous coverage of "Gone Brangelina: Heroina Dunne vs Simple Brad".
  • Turns out Heroina has rented the house in Malibu ($90.000 per month!) weeks before Brad reportedly got drunk and aggressive and tried to escape Minnesotta airport in a fuel truck. Angelina really is cosplaying as Amy Dunne only she lacks smarts, credibility, foresight, cunning and charm required to pull that off. What we have here is her weak story about Brad acting contrary to how we heard he acted for 12 years. And we have a woman who takes their children to war zones (just because they stay in a nice hotel doesn't make that hotel immune to bombs and attacks) and is currently keeping them away from their father for no reason. 
  • Now she has hired real life Olivia Pope to help her clean her image in media. Remember that scene from Meet the Parents where the shit sprayed on everyone? It's like that and she is trying to clean it with a water gun.
  • And England is allowing her to teach people. What the fuck. What can she teach them about? Fame whoring and not eating?
  • Marion Cotillard's boyfriend addressed this whole mess. And like Marion he also used the phrase "haters".
  • Jen's husband said some words too.More importantly here he is with this hilarious expression going on --->
  • Emily Blunt and John Krasinski had dinner with them, by the way. Just by the selection of friends Aniston wins too. Who is even friends with Angelina?
  • Some people are trolling Angelina biased comments section of Celebitchy and Just Jared by pretending to be her supporters. And in this case, for comedy effect supporters who are racist:
  • No, the third world ones with the tans are really Angie's - she went out to get them, not Brad. She is the true mother. The three normal ones belong with Brad and Angie. Actually, she's more like a World Mother, considering all the good she has done. I've saved one life in my life, how many have you saved, Angie has saved literally thousands.
  •  They can't help being tanned or Chinese and she has three normal ones with Brad.
  • Plot thickens
  • The schemer got temporary custody of the kids. Why is she not being subjected to random drug tests?
  • Vintage bullet point - here's Funny or Die spoof of Angelina wedding veil drawings by her children. I've never seen this before, they're hilarious!
  • Liev and Naomi are no more too. Cupid better protect Blunt/Krasinski, Faris/Pratt and Mullally/Offerman now.
  • Speaking of Liev, I started watching Ray Donovan. I saw 2 first episodes on Sunday and loved those. However given my watching skills (I have year worth of Conan episodes to catch up and it took me about 2 months to see all 8 episodes of Stranger Things) I should see all those 4 seasons by the year 2050 probably.
  • I'm glad this Haim's abuser story is still in the news because we need to know the truth and people are putting out more and more plausible theories out there. But it's now week 2 after Radar proclamation and they still said nothing. And it's more and more plausible Feldman is silent for one reason - he is getting hush money. This is just all around gross and disturbing and the longer we go on without the person being revealed the further we get into nothing gets revealed territory again
  • Hiddletits managed to sink even lower on (hilarious and pathetic) thirst-o-meter this week.  
  • The funniest bit of another thirsty attempt isn't even the pictures but it's Beryl Cumsatchel saying "unsolicited photographs". Does he actually know what the word 'unsolicited' means? It's nice he is backing his friend but he is kinda poisoning his own image by mere association and mostly by insulting everyone's intelligence by saying stuff like that.
  • Also regarding those dog pictures - here is only one man who can pose with a dog without the dog upstaging him. The Hardylicious. Here he is just few weeks back:
  •  Oy that hairline, tho. Why can't British men age better?
  • Also those fucking Gucci loafers on Hiddles, man. Bad enough they put those at Jared but put Hiddletits in that and it's just too much cringe. 
  • Fences trailer brings the return of Viola Davis' super SNOT. Hopefully the snot is mighty enough to claim Best Leading Actress Oscar this year. I cannot take Natalie Portman having two of those. Go Snot! You is kind! You is smart! You is important!
  • The disaster marketing for The Birth of a Nation continues
  • ...and there's more. Someone suggested Parker should be charged with hate crime against fellow black actors in the movie because every single time he speaks he diminishes their award chances.
  • Amy Schumer made $17 million last year. Disgrace. 
  • This may be the first look at Emma in The Beauty and the Beast. May because the second image looks fan made
  • Batfleck wanna get divorced. This is actually perfect timing - Brangelina drama eclipses all so celebrities should sling mud at each other right now because there is a chance people won't notice.
  • James Franco's new movie has a trailer and. It is called King Cobra. It is about gay porn. I don't know what more to type here.
  • Speaking of porn, JakeyG's bush is apparently an enchanted forest. Tom Ford should just continuously make movies and give interviews. He says the best stuff. 
  • So this is what is going on the set of Blade Runner 2. Look how great Harrison looks!
  • Charlize Theron gained some weight/used padding/both of those for her new Reitman/Cody collaboration. Super sad that this isn't simply a sequel to Young Adult with Mavis Gary back because after few years of her lifestyle this would definitely be her looks.  
  • Little girl who played Eleven is already acting like an asshole. Aren't these actors paid to appear on Comic Con? Be grateful for having fans, don't be an entitled, greedy little bitch,
  • Scream Queens premiere was amazing. It's was so great to see the three Chanels again and the show transitioned to new stories in a slick way. The new villain is already so much better and scarier than last year's. I too had the feels upon this John Stamos' scene:
  • Funniest part there was Chanel literally taking off her clothes upon witnessing that. So far I only saw the premiere because nowadays it takes me several days to actually catch up on four shows I watch. And we are gonna be adding Westworld to that this week. So 5 shows. 5 shows, 1 post per weeks and I cannot make it fit in 7-day week? Where is all this time going?
  • American Horror Story delivered two really creepy episodes, especially this week's was excellent and surprise surprise it was directed by David Lynch's daughter, Jennifer (you may remember she made a movie Boxing Helena which was a completely disturbing trainwreck that bombed hard in every way imaginable). Also as usual Ryan Murphy just cannot shut his trap and is bragging about the insane twist that is coming in episode 6. He says that what we think we are watching is not what we are watching. Also it's some sort of breaking the forth wall kind of deal. I hope that this giant twist is not simply the cast of re-enactments interacting with the people getting interviewed because that is a big can of who gives a shit. Also there is a theory how every episode we had so far corresponds to the theme of previous seasons, for example episode 1 with season 1, ep. 2 with season 2 and I'm like "so what?" No really, cool little nod there but why does it matter and what is the big deal about this?
  • South Park is the most enjoyable it has been in years this season. I really love the political commentary and the way they made fun of the debate was brilliant except Garrison actually comes off as sincere and sympathetic while in real life Trump is just an asshole. I also love the whole Cartman's subplot with Cartman actually getting a girl when all his buddies who are on social media got dumped last week.
  • Courtney, Kevin an Jordan review The Magnificent Seven
  • Ruth saw The Nice Guys 
  • MettelRay reviews Enemy
  • Brittani shares her thoughts on Stranger Things and other shows she saw this week
  • m.brown and Rhys review Sully


    1. I keep digging deeper into this Corey Haim/Feldman/Molestation ring and it's disgusting. I watched a really good interview with Haim's mother recently, and she affirmed that Haim and Feldman were NOT best friends or close later in life. Hush money sounds about right...Feldman just seems super shady/using Haim's demise to get somewhere in his lost career. It's really sad.

      1. And what's worse is that Radar is still not revealing anything, looks like this whole thing will blow over again :/

    2. My issue with the Brangelina mess is that we can speculate and call names and place blame and act like we know, but we don't, and the thing is that this kind of stuff happens all the time and people we think are nice and charming and are 'in the right' turn out to be a-holes who have abused and belittled and ruined and are just really, really good at hiding it.

      I've seen it friends and until there is clear evidence that Angelina is making all of this up...I won't pass any judgement. Doing so only makes it all the more hard for other victims to actually get courage to speak up.

      Look at what happened with Heard/Depp and all the people slut shaming her and calling her a crazy gold digging liar and...yeah, exactly.

      In other news, I'm devastated about Liev and Naomi as I love them both and thought they were adorable together.

      1. Yeah but we do. Pitt is a superstar, he is always being watched. In 20 years you ever heard of him being abusive or a bad dad? Nope. And regardless she publicly stated his parenting skills are the reason for divorce. Those kids will blame themselves for the rest of their lives thanks to that bitch.

    3. South Park is creating an amazing arc that I'm really enjoying.

      I'm not really surprised by the idea of who Angelina Jolie really is as she sometimes comes across as smug and pretentious and now it is clear that all of those things the Sony leaks reveal turn out to be true. Let's call the BULLET CLUB. They'll take care of this shit.

      I too am sad that Naomi and Liev have called it quits. I was rooting for them.

      1. I really hope South Park keeps it up, last season was really awful :/

      2. Agreed. It was too messy and inconsistent.

    4. South Park os great this season so far.

      There's so many links in this post I need to read, but I should probably be watching my kid at this park lol.

      Thanks for the link!

      1. Came back to read.

        That Corey thing...yeah. let's just say that comment probably wouldn't surprise anyone.

        Hiddletits lmao. I'm shocked at my own reaction to him now. I loved that guy.

        Emma is going to be so bland as Belle I'm sorry lol. I hope I'm wrong.

      2. Your hatred for Watson is unreal :D

    5. Thanks for the link Margaret! Oh boy, what in the world is Hiddles wearing?? Dayum those slippers. Celebs are getting together and splitting quicker at lightning speed compared to real people so I guess we shouldn't be surprised so many are getting divorced, some are amicable and some are nasty. It's the ones who stay together that is the REAL surprise.

      1. Yeah it is surprising when they are together a long time, Brangelina lasted 12 years which is a long time, but it looks like they were at odds for a long time now, he didn't even take her to Globes this year

    6. South Park is still on? Had no idea.

      Those loafers on Hiddleston...ugh.

      Viola Davis super snot, lol. By the way, love the reference to The Help. Brilliant move, you made.

      A movie called King Cobra about gay porn. Real (not) subtle, guys.

      1. Yeah, 20th season! This line from The Help is always useful when talking about Davis :)

    7. American Horror Story has been pretty hilarious this season. I've enjoyed it immensely. Oh Parker. I wish he would just go away. I can't even stomach hearing about his idiotic responses anymore. I really hope his film bombs.

      1. AHS is actually scaring me this season, all that stuff in the woods is very creepy!