Saturday, December 17, 2016

(266) Stay calm and look into the Magnificent Blue + links

By sati (harlequinade) Saturday, December 17, 2016
  • I have seen a fair share of WW2 movies and not once did I ever root for the Germans. Well there, is first time for everything because I saw Enemy at the Gates on Saturday and this was just fucking ridiculous:
  • I legitimately stopped breathing.
  • Also he played a really nice character. That's right, he didn't kill any robot children or anything like that. And we all know I basically drown in drool over him in Westworld so imagine this.
  • I mean he technically did play a Nazi sniper but his character was very sweet. Am I making any sense here?
  • The film was pretty good but those sniper scenes were the best ones and not just because we got the extreme close ups of the Magnificent Blue. TM.
  • I also saw Buffalo Soldiers where Ed also played a military guy and was walking around in a uniform. 
  • *kitten noises* *kitten noises getting drowned out by the drool wave* *coughing noise*
  • The film was pretty fun and David Holmes did the score and I love David Holmes. The lovely Mr. Harris also played a very nice character here and his wife was cheating on him with Joaquin Phoenix. I was disgusted! You just wanted to hug him and tell him his wife is a whore and Phoenix is making drugs on the side.
  • Important announcement - as soon as this post is live I am gonna watch this. I will most likely live tweet a lot of it. So may God have mercy on my twitter followers. Here's the trailer which Brittani found:
  • I almost died just from watching this. It seems beautifully ridiculous. And he is so very naked.
  • What the fuck HFPA. I can kinda see (though I cannot understand or forgive) how Ed Harris wasn't nominated (one category for supporting actors from all TV things) but Anthony Hopkins? What the hell do you have to be on to watch Westworld and not nominate him? This is just a disgrace.
  • Same goes for SAG. And not even Evan?! Really?! Oh my God they even nominated Dinklage for that one scene he had with him petting CGI dragons. 
  • At least Evan won Critics Choice adorably:
  • In other words I have legitimately zero reasons to care about the Oscar season this year.
  • Rogue One is great. I actually liked it better than The Force Awakens which was basically just a rehash of New Hope. This one was far more daring and it's actually a war movie set in the universe, it's very different from every other Star Wars movie. I don't like Felicity Jones that much but she was fine here, no one in the movie is as good as Daisy Ridley but the ensemble works well (though Mikkelsen is as usual underused, what the hell, Hollywood?). I don't wanna say much because I don't wanna spoil you guys but the last act is really incredible. I don't know the franchise this well but I think this was the best Vader scene ever.
  • Also - do not bring kids to this. I know kids like stuff like Harry Potter, comic book movies and Star Wars but skip this one. I really don't understand why people bring their 5 or 6 year old kids to stuff like this. There are so many horrible things out there in the real world like war, death or Amy Schumer. Soon enough the kids will realize these things are out there. This film is very, very heavy. It's the opposite of TFA where some planet blew up (who cares, did we even know anyone there?) and one horrific thing happened and the rest of the movie was cute BB8 and Rey mastering every single skill she just heard of five seconds before.
  • I don't have kids so maybe I don't know what I'm talking about but I was a kid once myself. Also I always cover Gustav's eyes when there are dogs fucking nearby (Jesus Christ, my neighborhood you guys...)
  • So this is the Polish TV spot for Rogue One. I don't know if it's just for us or it was out in other countries too but it's the worst. Those title cards say stuff like 'Women can't fight', 'Women give up' etc. and then show Jyn doing the reverse - fighting, not giving up etc. This right here is why Ghostbusters was hated and Hilary Clinton lost. Shoving statements down people's throats. Can we not? Can the liberal media stop helping women prove they are equal? Because it is accomplishing the reverse. 
  • Don't advertise a comedy by saying 'women are funny' - actually make a funny comedy with women and don't release unfunny trash and call people who hated it misogynists. 
  • Don't run polls saying a woman will DEFINITELY win the election when there is a possibility she won't. 
  • Don't market Star Wars with a lead character being a female by saying women can fight - just release the damn movie where you can see that woman fight. 
  • Well guess what, some women are not funny and some cannot fight. And that spot also says 'women are frightened of those bigger than them' and then they show Jyn not being afraid of the robot. Well, guess what. I'm 5'1'. I AM afraid of those bigger than me. And if I saw a gigantic robot in front of me I'd probably most definitely shit myself.
  • When the media is starting to paint us like some mythical creatures it puts people off not just whatever liberal media rallies behind - whether it's a movie or presidential candidate - but the idea too. It's annoying me and I am a fairly liberal female. So I really don't think this technique would convince a conservative male that ladies 'rule' or whatever the fuck. Because how do you think the ads like that play out when we have a famous actress who is being called 'relatable' talking about pissing on a lawn behind her mother on a talk show. Such inspiration for women. Such reason for men to respect us. 
  • Having no shame, dignity or class is not 'edgy', 'brave' or 'funny'. It's pathetic. Why can't these women act like ladies? Why can't these fucking actresses find anything else to talk of other than their bodily functions?
  • Next rant:
  • You know, we live in an awful time where anyone can just spew their 'thoughts' like that Randolph chick or this Stuckmann guy on Youtube and somehow people think they are legitimate movie critics. There used to be grace and thought to movie criticism and now there are people like these two.
  • There is some nobility to written word. I hate podcasts and youtube videos. Who has the time to listen/watch those anyways? I sure as shit don't.
  • The world is not heading in a good direction. You used to go to cinema to see a movie, now you can stream it on your mobile. You used to have to read through reviews, now you can just listen to them on headphones in the form of these wretched podcasts. And it's not that the world is moving faster and that the people are more busy. No, it's that people are become more lazy, entitled and dumber with every passing second.
  • First look at The Beauty and the Beast house appliances in human form made me laugh so hard. Jesus Christ, McGregor!
  • David Ayer, a guy who yells 'Fuck Marvel!' at the premiere, who doesn't grasp his own movie's continuity (claims Harley is an accomplice in the murder of Robin even though Joker killed Robin before meeting her) and blatantly lies to the fans (by saying, among other things, that theatrical cut of Squad is his cut) got hired by WB to direct that all female Harley Quinn thing. Every time I think there is no possible way for WB to fuck themselves over more than they already are when it comes to DCEU they go and they do something like this. Ayer, who directed a movie featuring Viola Davis calling Harley 'fearless' 10 seconds before petrified Harley shouts 'I can't swim!' is getting a go ahead to direct another big budget movie. Hey, WB wouldn't it be easier to just burn all the millions of dollars you have lying around you so clearly don't give a fuck about? At least that would be you going method and pulling the Joker and it's still better use of that cash than whatever sure garbage fire this is gonna turn out to be.
  •  Also apparently Megan Fox is in talks to play Poison Ivy. Good. This movie is gonna be trash anyways so let's not waste actual talented people's time on this.
  • Emmy Rossum thinks she is a draw. She is wrong. 
  • On one hand Macy is more acclaimed and more well known and on the other Rossum is lead.    The acclaim goes a long way and it's earned and let's not pretend Rossum is in the same acting league as Macy.  Hell, she has nothing other than that show and now probably won't ever have more. Since she is lead, the same amount of money is fair. But this talk of her wanting to be compensated for previous years is beyond ridiculous.
  • Denzel Washington whined about 'living' through OscarsSoWhite prejudice. Yes. The guy who has 2 wins and may win 3rd one this year lived through it. Such bravery, Denzel. Such accuracy, man.
  • Dunkirk teaser is finally here and it's spectacular. My favorite thing wasn't even that one shot of Hardyboo (who I am assuming plays a pilot, yey, a flying Hardyboo!) but the terrific, very unique yet epic score. Was that something original by Zimmer? I hate it when the trailer has a great music and then it's not used in the actual movie, worse yet the actual music in the film is much worse - I'm looking at you Revenant. So I'm really hoping it's Zimmer's piece from the film.
  • Also the teenage girls in love with that singer dude who is in this will make this the next top grossing movie for Nolan right after Batman flicks. I'm loving the fact that tumblr is freaking out about a movie about Dunkirk evacuation of all things. Someone should film Nolan's face (with obligatory Mike Leigh cameo) after they show him a tweet saying "Dunkirk! I hope Harry sings in this!".
  • 50 Cent had a meltdown over not getting Globe nomination. I think my meltdown was better since it was happening simultaneously on several platforms.
  • Arrival is NOT eligible for Best Score Oscar
  • I hear Blade Runner 2049 teaser is coming! It's gonna be attached to that Two Pieces of Trash in Space movie that is flopping and I'm so happy about that.
  • And here is pet abuser Chris Pratt kissing his pet abuser wife Anna Faris and not even looking at her.
  • And here is Ryan talking about working with Harrison Ford and getting punched: we were doing a fight scene and, you know, it just happened. But what was funny was, when it was over, they brought ice for my face, and Harrison pushed me out of the way and stuck his fist in the ice. I asked him the other day where he got his sense of humor from-was it from his mother or his father? He said, 'Sears.' And he didn't have much time to shop around so he just had to grab one and get out. You know...he's tough. He's been an inspiration to everyone-everyone is doing push-ups now and taking an interest in their fitness. As soon as it happened, the director came up to me and said, 'Look at it this way-you just got hit by Indiana Jones.' He came by afterward with this bottle of scotch, and I thought, 'Oh, I knew this was coming.' And he pulled out a glass from his pocket, poured me a glass, and walked away with the rest of the bottle. So I guess he felt like he didn't connect enough to earn a whole bottle. You know, they say don't meet your heroes, but I would say the addendum to that is '...unless they're Harrison Ford.' Cause he's a cool motherf---er
  • and we all thought it's Leto who is getting punched...
  • Ruth shares her thoughts on the awesome Dunkirk trailer 
  • Brittani reviews Nocturnal Animals
  • Dan and Courtney have drastically different takes on La La Land
  • Alex features Regina King in his In Character series
  • m.brown finally saw The Nice Guys
  • Jordan reviews Green Room


    1. I'm so psyched for this Vader scene in Rogue One. I spoiled it for myself and it sounds so BA.

      "War, death, and Amy Schumer" LOL.

      Evan getting snubbes for SAG is bullshit.

      The reviews for Passengers and Collateral Beauty give me life.

      Thanks for the link!

      1. It's amazing! i saw some people call it the best ever SW scene

        I just want Pratt and Lawrence to go away. Forever.

      2. Amen to your second sentiment. Pratt has pissed me off ever since Guardians, though somehow didn't piss me off during Magnificent 7. Guy sounds like a douche though

      3. Passengers is tracking to bomb in box office this weekend :P

    2. The score for Arrival not considered to be nominated for an Oscar? BOO!!!!!!!!!!

      I'm going to see Rogue One next week as I'm just waiting for the crowd to die down a bit.

      I'm happy Evan won but not happy she didn't get a SAG nod.

      J-Law is disgusting and I'm glad Passengers is getting bad reviews as well.

      Megan Fox as Poison Ivy.... fuck off!!!!

      1. DC is so dead now. The fact this chick is even being considered says it all

    3. The trailer for Dunkirk looks amazing. I'm not a war movie watcher but I'll give this a go. Rogue One has a great cast and the movie ties itself up in a neat bow.

      1. Yeah I'm not that into war movies either but Nolan doesn't make bad movies and it has Hardy :)

    4. Wow, that Rogue One trailer sounds awful (didn't bother watching). Great ensuing rant, though.

      On the other hand, I did watch the Knightriders trailer. What a wonderful slice of ridiculousness that looks to be. I literally sat in slack-jawed amazement at how terrible but awesome it seems.

      As for the WB, they have no real reason to change what they're doing. Despite how bad you or I, or most critics, might think their DCEU movies are, they keep raking in all sorts of money at the box office. Right now, they're probably feeling like they can just film someone in a DC character costume taking a dump for 90 minutes and it will pull in $500 million at the box office. Therefore, why not have Megan Fox play Poison Ivy? It's very possible the only way they'll change is if/when they start losing money on these movies.

      1. Haha it was actually easier to follow than I was worried it would be, even though the film was long it was quite entertaining. It has to be seen to be believe :)

        Yeah it's so disheartening - just think how amazing would the stories with those character be in films made by a studio that actually cares about quality and fans :/

    5. Thanks for the link Margaret!

      Glad you love ROGUE ONE and the DUNKIRK trailer! If only that kid from OD isn't in that thing though, heh not sure why Nolan hired him, it's not like he's desperate for more people to be excited about his movie! I'm still writing my review of ROGUE ONE but yeah, I definitely like it more than FORCE AWAKENS.

      Hey have you seen The Face of Love yet w/ Harris and Annette Benning? I figure you might enjoy that and I love the cast.

      Mwahahaha, that photo of the Beauty & The Beast's house appliances in human form made me laugh too, boy they look so ridiculous!

      1. You're welcome!

        From what I've seen in this Dunkirk trailer this kid may not be so bad :) I'm sure Nolan had his reasons, it's not like he ever has bad actors in his movies, the question is how he uses them - Cotillard in TDKR for example was...not a good effort on anyone's part :)

        I haven't but it's on my watchlist!

        I didn't even recognize Tucci there :P

      2. You are so right, Cotillard was awful in TDKR! So yeah, I hope that OD kid isn't too distracting amongst the great ensemble. Well have a merry Christmas, Margaret!

      3. You too! May they be happy and stress free :)

    6. "There are so many horrible things out there in the real world like war, death or Amy Schumer"

      This made me fall off my chair in laughter!!

      With you alllll the way on the pushing for women being awesome rant. I swing to the left myself but fuck, they really do take it too far.

      "I hate podcasts and youtube videos. Who has the time to listen/watch those anyways? I sure as shit don't."

      I wonder the exact same things. Boggles my mind to be honest.
      People are getting dumber and more entitled. I see it in a ton of my friends. They have essentially turned into selfish assholes

      How is the soundtrack for Arrival not eligible but something as inane as 'Absolutely Fabulous' is? Yet another reason why I despise everything awards related.

      Thanks again for the link love, as always :)

      1. The Academy rules for soundtracks are so stupid. I cannot judge here because I haven't seen Arrival but apparently this is because a song from another movie was used? But the film has whole original score! It's so silly

      2. Yes the entire score was composed by Johann Johhansson(sp?). All original tracks.

        Have a quick listen Sati, it is spine-chilling, even just the first two tracks:

        Only the top video works, the rest got pulled down just after I posted that, but that top one is the entire soundtrack as a playlist. Sends chills up my spine each time!!!

      3. Yeah that is the guy who did Sicario! i thought the music there was great but it's not exactly something to listen to as stadalone score, this seems to be the case here too but deeming it illegible is so stupid, it's the entire score the guy made they shouldn't care that one song is not his

    7. Yep, Dunkirk looks amazing, Megan Fox as Poison Ivy sounds catastrophic, Rogue One is superb, Harris kills it in Enemy at the Gates, and the Blade Runner teaser is here and its pretty intriguing.

      1. Yey so glad you liked him in Enemy at the Gates!

        DCEU should just rename itself to 'catastrophe'

    8. Definitely agree with your thoughts on podcasts, and I feel bad turning people down who ask me to be a guest. But, like...I have zero time to listen to that stuff. At least I can browse blogs and twitter carefully and strategically while I'm at work har har.

      No comment on David Ayer and the future of DC movies. Bless that man and the poor fools he ropes into that movie.

      Thanks for the link. Have you seen La La Land yet? I feel like your opinion will likely be more like mine than Dan's...

      1. Nah, I am not even sure when it opens here. I have seen zero Oscar movies so far :P

    9. Please please tell me Ayer is not directing another DECU film. What fresh hell is this?

    10. Two things: 1) I f--ked up my Christmas list. 2) 1:41 of that trailer. You add these together? WHY HAVEN'T I WATCHED KNIGHTRIDERS...Ten f--king times?!?! Good God, that preview is better than three-fifths of the films I've seen.

      Best Vader scene ever? Uh, f--k yes it is. Holy shit, it might just be the best scene ever. Period.'re gonna let me pass, right? My son's 7. So, I'm just a 'sucky' dad, not 'f--king awful'. (He actually liked it and was bummed out, but I think the weight of their actions/deaths was lost on him, you know? He got it...but didn't get it, if that makes sense)

      You're 5'1"? Oh my.

      People are really, really f--king lazy. I think in a decade or two 90% of all cinemas will be gone as these young people opt to watch every single component of their life on their f--king phones. And what's worse? They won't even mind.

      Good thing I've got Ryan Gosling telling me funny f--king stories to make everything right in the world.

      Thanks for the link!!!

      1. Yeah I'm very tiny :) Add to that my voice and it's pretty much the gif I just tweeted to people advertising my next RF :P

        You should totally see Knightriders! It's so insane!

        I'm glad your son wasn't too traumatized by it, I guess that is true that kids don't understand the weight of such things, still I thought it was pretty upsetting I for one had no idea that so many deaths will happen in this movie mainly because disney is greedy as fuck and with this they shut the door to any spin offs with these characters