Friday, January 20, 2017

(271) Take your Arrivals and take your Moonlights + links

By sati (harlequinade) Friday, January 20, 2017
  • OK guys, the next time you see a movie, before recommending it to me you really need to take a moment. If it has Ed Harris, no matter what it is (unless he kills a dog in it), go ahead. Tell me about it, I will see it. I will perv while livetweeting it. I will have a great time. But in every other case take a moment and ponder the following - 'will Sati like this? Like, really like this? Or will she watch it and find herself in need of hate-tweeting about it for at least 3 days with the addition of Ron Swanson 'this is my hell' gif'?
  • Arrival is one of the worst films I've seen in a long, long time. All I heard about this movie was how awesome it was and I really wanted to like it. But when 15 minutes in I found myself bored as hell, not digging the protagonist, plot or whatever the fuck Adams was doing - scratch that, she was doing nothing - I knew this will not go well. 
  • But I thought OK maybe it will get better. Since literally everyone in blogosphere liked it, it must? It's gonna get better!
  • It got worse. 
  • It made me appreciate Interstellar. That's how bad it was. Interstellar at least had 1. some energy 2. few good scenes 3. a central performance that made the protagonist relatable. Hell, it even made me appreciate Nocturnal Animals because at least it had Shannon's performance going for it. I saw 193 minute long movie on Saturday and comparing to Arrival it felt short and Arrival was 'just' 110 minutes long. I kid you not - I almost didn't finish it. I actually had to fight the urge to turn it off. And not an hour in, no, 10 mins near the end, because I just didn't care and couldn't take it anymore. 
  • I know for some reason a lot of people love it but I thought it was boring, it didn't move me at all and that scene with subtitles and huge aliens was just embarrassing to watch. Remember that EW cover with Ford in Blade Runner 2046? That was my expression during this scene. A mixture of disgust and the thought "why am I doing this with my time?"
  • When Bullock spoke of her kid in Gravity and McConaughey watched the video transmission in Interstellar I was moved. Those simple moments that just focused on actors were enough. Here we had - sad twist! manipulative flashbacks! rousing music! - to zero effect. I rolled my eyes and thanked God this was over.
  • I am more shocked at critic love for this one than for Ghostbusters (fear explains that). What exactly was so good about this movie? Other than the score which is hilariously disqualified from Oscars? What, the message that we need to talk to each other? You need a goddamn movie to realize this? How is this acclaimed? I am genuinely asking - how is this acclaimed?!
  • If this is any indicator of what is coming in Blade Runner 2046 then I need to bring my hype to zero levels because if it has this kind of atrocious pacing and one note Gosling of OGF it will make me want to kill myself.
  • Also Amy Adams - yeah, we're done here. Between this and Nocturnal Animals she needs to drop out of Sharp Objects because her playing the lead will kill this project. She has zero charisma. Zero. None. She cannot carry a movie. She needs to stick to the supporting roles where her blandness won't be this noticeable. Keira Knightley in Imitation Game. That's a beautiful, subtle work. Amy Adams doesn't act. She just is. Not in a sense of 'becomes' but in a sense of  'stands there doing nothing'.
  • Yeah, Moonlight. It was fine. It was well made. I gave it 7/10. Is this really our Golden Globe Best Drama winner? You know what I kept thinking for the last 2/3 of it? "That Ali guy is coming back, right? I mean he is winning Oscar for it". Yeah...he didn't. No one from this deserves separate acting nominations. 
  • No, seriously, take a moment - this guy is winning for Moonlight the award that not even Ralph Fiennes for Schindler's List got. I know competition varies every year but an Oscar is an Oscar. Compare these two performances. Do it.
  • So is my baby getting kidnapped or what? Tinkerbell and Gustav will not be separated!
  • La La Land fans - beware, for I am seeing it on Sunday. That one unlike Arrival I am not hyped for, so at least it has this going for it. It cannot possibly be as mediocre as I imagine it to be...or can it?
  • The 193 minute long movie I saw that I mentioned was The Right Stuff which told the story of Mercury 7, including John Glenn. The film was longer than it needed to be but unlike 83 minutes shorter Arrival it was not boring. It was also insanely well made - this was made in 1983 and the space stuff was actually more impressive than in Hidden Figures which was made 33 years later and showed the same launch. I of course saw it to witness Ed Harris as John Glenn and he was just wonderful in this role. This may be the sweetest of his characters (however he was just adorable in Buffalo Soldiers and Milk Money, I'll get to the latter in a moment), though there was a signature Ed Harris is yelling moment in this (but he was yelling on behalf of his wife so the 'aw' sounds were made by me plenty). And Zooey and Emily Deschanel's mother played his wife in that!
  • I saw Hidden Figures right after Arrival and I really liked it. It probably benefited in comparison, you know, since it actually had a plot and a pulse. This of course meant that I saw John Glenn (here played by Scream Queens' awesome Glenn Powell) orbit flight twice in two days. The film literally showed the same moment in history, just from different perspective, which made for a very cool double feature. The cast was great (Kevin Costner really should be getting more awards attention for this and Adams having a shot instead of Henson...where are OscarsSoWhite people when you need them? This basic bitch wandered around the screen for 2h while Henson truly shone in this) and the film was very moving. 
  • On Monday I rewatched A Beautiful Mind, even though I really don't like this one. I livetweeted it in a calm, reasonable and not at all inappropriate manner:
  • You can really see what a pitiful year for supporting actors we have now at awards when you watch Jennifer Connelly's outstanding performance. She had like 5 different possible Oscar clips in this movie. She had more moving, amazing stuff there than Ali, Harris, Kick Ass and Adams have in their entire screentime. Combined. This is the weakest year since I became interested in film, so in 16 years. Original score category is a mess this year too. I find A Beautiful Mind to be overly dramatic, cheesy and manipulative movie but the cast and the music really bring it far above mediocrity. 
  • On Tuesday following Steven's recommendation I watched Just Cause.
  • First of all, patience is often times rewarded:
  • And second of all, wow did Ed play a psycho in this. His weird haircut and accent (what the hell was that?!) aside I was drinking tea during this and at one point he suddenly shouted. Tea everywhere. Different kind of wet during Ed Harris movie this time around.
  • Oh is it TMI? 
  • I. 
  • Don't. 
  • Care.
  •  Take your Moonlights and your Arrivals because there are actually only two movies I wanna talk to you about this week (yeah this is one long RF today but most of you just witnessed inauguration from Hell so you can take comfort in the fact that at least you are not a pervy, should be locked away person with a terrible job and a clear, desperate need of an actual man, like me):
  • On Wednesday I couldn't find a better contrast to Just Cause if I tried with Milk Money where he played a shy, sweet science teacher who was a single dad. I tweeted this during the movie and I find it to be a gross negligence from you guys that no one called for help. I was dying. Melanie Griffith played this hooker and three young boys befriended her and Ed played the dad of one of them and he fell in love with the hooker and in the end she stayed with them. 
  • Oh God. My life sucks in comparison to this. 
  • The above gifset is mine. I have new thing that I do - making edits of Ed. There is not enough of him on tumblr and there are like 5 other girls who have impeccable taste and find him scorching hot. So all the Ed gifs in this post are mine. I also gifed the most beautiful moment in cinematic history.  
  • The other movie I saw that I need you guys to become aware of was State of Grace. It's kinda like The Departed from 1990. It has Sean Penn, Gary Oldman and Ed. And Ed - and let me just take a deep breath as I am about to type this - plays an Irish crime boss.
  • I'm gonna type this again - he plays an Irish crime boss.
  • ...
  • .....
  • .......
  • My God. I was like 'please shoot me, sir' the entire time.
  • How the hell do I hear about a movie featuring aimless Adams gazing into horizon and huge aliens for 3 months but the only way I become aware of a treasure of a movie like this one is when I wander onto his imdb in heat of 'what to see tonight?'
  • Tonight I plan on finishing Sweet Dreams. I will actually rewatch all of it so prepare yourselves for some sad, horny tweets. From what I've seen it's Ed's best performance and it's circa 1985 so he is 35 years old in it. It's divine stuff. 
  • Also I saw about an hour of Pain and Gain last night so I will finish it tonight. It's pretty funny so far. 
  • I still haven't see episode 2 of Taboo. Having seen 5 Ed Harris movies this week alone it just seemed if I did, that would be basically committing suicide because no way I can survive them both in one week.
  • And now a dash of of what passes for news and gossip around here:
  • We have our first look at Susan Sarandon as Bette Davis and Jessica Lange as Joan Crawford in Feud. This is gonna be so good!
  • I really cannot with how much hot Brad has found ever since throwing that fucking psycho skeleton away. This is gotta be driving her crazy.
  • Fucking hell!!!!!!
  • Margot Robbie wants that Oscar. But not enough to actually go up few sizes and the fat suit will have to do. 
  • I'm more shocked about the fact that Rob Schneider is still alive than the dumb shit he did.
  • Brittani reviews Jackie, which I still have to see.
  • Keith chooses best supporting actor performances in 2016. I love that he featured Shannon and Costner.
  • Allie reviews Assassin's Creed and features a certain piece of info that is the first thing I learned about the movie that makes me want to see it.
  • Ruth reviews lovely Hidden Figures
  • Alex chooses 15 best female performances of 2016, looking at his list maybe this year has not been this weak after all.
  • m.brown reviews Blair Witch - it's such a hilarious review, read it!
  • MettelRay writes about three movies starring three actors who passed away in 2016
  • Myerla writes about La La Land


    1. So basically you're still on the fence with "Arrival"? :P

      As for La La Land, I adored it and I was never on the hype train. I've always liked (not loved) Emma Stone and I'm still not sold on Gosling as an actor (although he was Still, I'm crazy about it. Now I will sit down behind my bulletproof glass with a tub of popcorn and watch you obliterate it. It should be fun! :) LOL!

      1. Haha, yeah I'm so ambiguous about how I feel about it :D

        I like Emma a lot and Gosling is incredible in comedies and occasionally in dramas, so the acting will probably not bother me, it's more like why are people so amazed by this movie? It looks like a simple story/musical. I loved The Artist but it was far more unique than this looks to be

        Still, I bet it's better than most of Oscar season films I've seen so far, the highest rated is Hidden Figures which I only give 8/10

    2. Wait, you hated Arrival, didn't think the acting was great in Moonlight, but liked Milk Money? MILK MONEY?! i haven't seen that since I was a kid lol.

      I'm stealing Gustav on principle. I love Arrival and Moonlight

      I'm all for that Fued mini series. Sign me up.

      Thanks for the link!

      1. It was a cute movie! And hell, even the kids in it gave more memorable performance than everyone in Moonlight

        He will fight back :D

    3. LOL, if you hate tweet La La Land I'll cry...even though I'm not on Twitter anymore to see it...but's EFFING PERFECT.

      But so is

      And if you watch A Beautiful Mind and are tweeting about Ed Harris and NOT the godly creature that is Russell Crowe, you need to have your eyes examined.


      1. Next to Ed Harris Crowe looks even worse than usual :) I can see why some find him hot but nope, not even if we were the last two people in the world

    4. You hate Arrival and yet, you're liking Pain & Gain which is directed by one of most horrendous individuals on the face of the Earth who makes Lars von Trier and Roman Polanski look like schoolboys?

      BTW, what you think of Scarlett in Just Cause? I liked her and Ed but I didn't like the film.

      I heard about that story about that dog. That was upsetting as I can't watch that video as I'm still not over the death of my own dog more than a year ago as my own cat a year and a day after my dog died. It still hurts.

      1. Trier is a pig, Polanski is a rapist, isn't Bay just a misogynistic idiot?

        I didn't even recognize Scarlett :P

        I understand, it's just horrible :/ I cannot believe anyone would ever hurt an animal like those assholes did, I hope the dog is fine now

    5. It's like we are the complete opposites. I like pretty much all the award movies (except I can't understand Taylor-Johnsons win, like that is just.. it's weird and off on so many levels), and you hated them all. I haven't seen La La Land yet, so we could be wrong there, but I feel like I will love it (my flatmate hated it!), but if you love it.. then I might hate it!?!?

      At least we can hate Passangers together, though I haven't seen it and probably won't, especially since I quit drinking and I won't survive that one sober. I know it. You know it. Let's just agree to hate that one together.

      Milk Money looks so familiar... I might have watched it back in the day where I watched pretty much all the 90's movies with my parents during the weekends - 5 movies a day sometimes! Granted, it was mostly for my parents benefit so they wouldn't have to talk to each other. But I feel so weird now watching 90's movies sometimes. They feel so comfortable and familiar, yet distant at the same time. But Milk Money's plot sounds interesting, I should watch it.. but I can't remember if I have watched it or not (I promised not to rewatch movies this year).

      Thanks for the link!

      Hopefully 2017 will be a better movie year for you! What are you planning to use as your next header movie?

      1. I didn't love it, I didn't hate it, so it was kinda the worst kind of movie -'s nicely shot and sweet but I was like 'ok, now what?'

        Why would you quit drinking?:D JK good for you!

        I don't understand your rewatch rule...Id I couldn't rewatch China Moon these days I think I'd die.

        Well I have Ghost in the Shell now...hopefully it won't suck

    6. "No, seriously, take a moment - this guy is winning for Moonlight the award that not even Ralph Fiennes for Schindler's List got." Okay, you win with this point. I think our expectations are just significantly lower, because we aren't getting those powerhouse movies like Schindler's List anymore, nor the performances. That's another reason I'm so meh with La La Land, because it's NOT a fucking classic. It doesn't break barriers, nor shake me to my core with it's performances. Standards are low in the 21st century, and that's why there's the undeniable love for La La Land :(

      1. The thing is though last year things were quite awesome - we had Fury Road which imho is a masterpiece and The Big Short which is one of the most rewatchable movies ever. Now, nothing. I loved some films like Neon Demon and The Witch but it's not exactly the kind of stuff I'd watch every weekend, I could watch The Big Short every week and not get bored

    7. Hi Margaret, thanks so much for the link! I have a nasty cold all weekend, it sucks, so I haven’t been on my computer until today.

      Oy, so you didn’t like Arrival eh? Well you liked Moonlight though you didn’t love it, which I agree is a much better film than Arrival. But hey glad you enjoyed Hidden Figures!

      I haven’t seen State of Grace but yowza, Eddie looks GOOD in that.

      Oooh you’ve seen Taboo! I’m still trying to finish Black Mirror season 2, one more episode tonight.

      1. Oh, hope you're feeling better!

        Hidden Figures was lovely!

        He sure does, I was hyperventilating whenever he was on screen :P

    8. So, just so we're all clear didn't like Arrival? ;D
      I can't wait to hear what you think of La La Land! I went in terrified the hype would ruin it for me...and I honestly loved every minute. But there's no Ed Harris...!
      I watched Moonlight last week and kind of feel the same as you did, it was alright, it was interesting enough, but I don't feel like it was award worthy.
      LOL - thank you for the link, and summarising the best part of the movie perfectly!

      1. Eh, it's an all right movie. But I didn't find it to be worthy of all that gigantic praise. It's sweet and well done but I didn't find the magic so many people found there

    9. Surprised by the Arrival hate, I gotta say. I thought you'd really like Arrival Sati. :( Oh well, at least you seemed to like to soundtrack. As to why I thought it was so good, I loved the idea of another species' talking and writing being two completely different languages. Made me completely rethink language and communication as a whole.

      I think it is a lot more than 'we need to communicate'. That's an unfair generalisation IMO

      I'm catching up on your posts so I assume I'll read your opinion soon but I hope hope HOPE you hate La La Land cos I couldn't get through ten minutes. Walked out and got my money back.

      1. Well I will write about La La Land today but I didn't love it either, it's mediocre at best