Friday, February 3, 2017

(273) Can sequin parrots survive underwater? + links

By sati (harlequinade) Friday, February 3, 2017
  • I had a nice week - I am staying home for the most of it. I have a cold. I actually went to work on Monday, then in the evening as I was watching The Way Back and Ed Harris was eating a dead animal with his bare hands I probably should have guessed the fact I was sweating and had a fever during that meant I had a cold. 
  • But I have a fever and sweat during all of his films so there really was no way of knowing.
  • Anyways, since Tuesday I was home which is nice because I cannot remember the last time I had time off work.
  • The biggest story this week is what Nicole Kidman wore to SAG awards. Look, parrots and this weird fabric thing on the chest aside, this is a gorgeous dress. And those parrots wouldn't even be bad. But the hair! This would look lovely with red hair yet Nicole continues to have that awful piss color. And this terrible hairstyle - this looks like something one has going on on their head before cleaning the toilet, not attending the awards.
  • What Winona Ryder did on that stage was disturbing. She has a history of anxiety attacks and I think this was what was going on. Then she was made into a meme which was also awful to witness. And David Harbour's obnoxious are accepting an award for a kid/science-fiction show. Pipe down.
  • Brie Larson's "face didn't change when she read Affleck's name during Globes" claim was rendered moot when she did this. I really hope Washington gets that Oscar. If Russel Crowe lost to him for A Beautiful Mind for throwing a phone backstage at BAFTAs then Affleck should lose for having all those disturbing rumors looming above him. Don't give the mark of approval to someone like this, Academy.
  • Evan Rachel Wood and many celebrities wore velvet to SAG and first of all that is so last fall and second of all Evan looked awful. That thick suit looked like it was weighting her down.
  • Ben Affleck did not snap as I predicted he might soon. He run. Well, almost. Ben is still tied by the balls to DCEU with the upcoming two part trainwreck that is Justice League. Some people actually thought WB may have a shot of booking the likes of Denis Villenuve to shoot the movie now, but DCEU is such a dumpster fire that it would take someone truly desperate or insane to do this. Affleck is probably not gonna appear in the movie and I imagine it will be stuck in development hell until it's officially cancelled. 
  • DCEU is like that mangled Ripley clone in fourth Alien movie begging to be killed. It's just painful to watch.
  • If you would have told me two years ago ago that Aquaman is gonna be the only DCEU movie that looks promising I would not believe it. But it does and Nicole Kidman is in talks to star as Aquaman's mother. Setting aside the "logistics" and sexism of this given that Kidman is only 12 years older than Momoa and she is getting hired to play 'mother' role, she does look perfect for the part, going by the way Google tells me she looked in animated versions of the story and comic books.
  • Here's Rihanna thinking she is in Bodyguard while she is actually in Bates Motel profaning cinematic history. Also she is wearing velvet (or is it velour? I'm gonna venture a guess velvet is more expensive so this is probably what she has on, while the slutty little dresses in my closet are velour) IN THE RAIN. This is the most insane thing I've seen this week and we have Johnny Depp news ahead of us here. 
  • But before we get to that, here are my thoughts on movies I saw since the last rambling session:
  • Split is nowhere near the best Shyamalan's films, but it's pretty damn good. I'm so glad it is most likely going to top the box office in US again (for the 3rd time!), Anya Taylor-Joy is so wonderful and I hope she becomes a huge star. I'm so impressed that they had $10 mln budget and somehow got McAvoy to star in the lead role. Also given the amazing money the movie is making and the fact so many people are seeing it I really do hope McAvoy will somehow be remembered the next Oscar season. Not that his work is as amazing as people say (he is good but not all-time awesome kind of great, kinda like Portman in Jackie) but because the Academy made a huge error by omitting him for Atonement. I'll give McAvoy this, though - at times it was like watching modern Norman Bates.
  • And I got so giddy during the ending. The financial success of the film means we are getting that third movie so that's awesome.
  • Doctor Strange is an extremely forgettable, standard Marvel flick. Of course it's better to be a forgettable Marvel movie than a violent, rapid trash fire of DCEU.  Still, it wasn't very good. It was fun enough as the accompaniment to my Pringles on Sunday evening, but nothing more. And can Hollywood please give Mads Mikkelsen more to do than brooding in rags with optional glitter on his face in blockbusters?
  • Hell or High Water - I really enjoyed that one. Probably the best one liners in any movie from 2016, except for Shannon in Nocturnal Animals. Great, script, great acting from everyone. This is like 2016's Big Short - I see myself referencing and rewatching this movie the most out of the year's finest films. Jeff Bridges is always great and it's cool he got a nomination but Ben Foster was straight up robbed! Chris Pine surprised me. This is his best work since that single tear he shed after Glory was sang during the Oscars two years ago. Also the line about sweet girls turning into devils when they are revved up got a (cute) chuckle/nod from me. Truly entertaining movie.
  • Lion is a beautiful movie. It has some serious pacing issues, but the story itself is incredibly moving. I cried like 10 times during that movie. Nicole Kidman is incredible here - she is not in this as much as you'd think but unlike Naomie Harris in Moonlight it doesn't seem like too little. She infuses her character with such warmth and such motherly love, it's really lovely to witness. Rooney Mara actually looked alive in this and Dev Patel was excellent. The little boy who played Saroo was just amazing. I also liked the original score, it was at least noticeable because out of so many 2016 movies I don't remember a single track.
  • and now what really matters:
  • Sweet Dreams is seriously Ed Harris' best performance. Also it's basically porn:
  •  I mean I have like 20-30 movies of his left to watch but I just don't think it's possible he can top this. I was speechless watching him. I'm assuming wounded animal noises I was making don't count as 'speech'.  
  • Jessica Lange (who said this was the most fun she's ever had working on a film) was very good but he was straight up robbed by the Academy back in 1985. He was a complete beast in that and the toxic relationship between him and Lange's character (famous singer Patsy Cline) really gave them so much to do. I don't even wanna know if they really hit each other in many, many scenes portraying domestic violence but it was very realistic.
  • He played the kind of guy who takes out his frustrations by beating up his partner but at the same time in twisted way he loves her. And he conveyed all of that. And beyond. There is this moment where she is in the hospital after a car accident and her mother walks into a room in their house and he is sitting on the floor crying while listening to her records. I've never seen anything like it.
  • Also hands down, the most handsome he has ever looked. Seriously wounded animal noises, guys. 
  • All over my room. 
  • Gustav was MAAAAD.
  • So on Saturday I asked Brittani, who saw both The Way Back and Radio, which one I should see. She said that Radio was corny and she liked The Way Back. I did google search and it turned out Ed plays a teacher in Radio so that was conclusive as to what to watch first.
  • The film was indeed corny. I'm pretty sure the jokes about Simple Jack etc. in Tropic Thunder were inspired by Cuba Gooding Jr. here.
  • Still, Ed playing a teacher did play nicely into my whole Tinkerbell goes to school idea from last week.
  • I think this is the moment where y'all pitch in and buy a cage for me to be locked in.
  • I did watch The Way Back on Sunday and Monday. No, not twice, just took me this long because damn that was one long and depressing movie. I also needed subtitles because Colin Farrell really went all in with crazy accent there.
  • I saw The Firm on Tuesday and that was pretty good, Tom Cruise there really makes Gosling look manly. Ed was bald in it for some reason but he did play a special agent so rawr.
  • Just randomly perving about Ed in The Rock because why not.
  • First look at Oceans 8. The outfits...I'm gonna spend so much money online shopping after this movie. I can sense it. 
  • New Ghost in the Shell TV spot features better look at Michael Pitt's character and some creepy and awesome special effect.
  • Lord of the Rings reunion happened this week!
  • Matthew McConaughey said some stuff about Trump and people are really mad at him. 
  • There is just no way to type this differently so...
  • Here's Jon Hamm's bulge.
  • and now the really hilarious stuff:
  • Mel Gibson and Vince Vaughn will star in a movie about police brutality. But the promising thing is that the director of Bone Tomahawk is doing this one so it may be good.
  •  And finally Johnny Depp's monthly spending money ways are a thing to behold. I cannot even come up with a funny comment here because this is surreal. $3 mln to shoot ashes out of the cannon. Staff of 40 people. 14 properties around the world. The wine budget of $30,000 is the least insane thing up there.
  • Kevin reviews 20th Century Women
  • Keith gives out his random movie awards for 2016
  • OnTheScreenReviews list top 10 movies of 80s
  • BigScreenSmallWords reviews The Girl on the Train
  • Dan and MettelRay choose films about painters. Thank God for Steven - the only one who featured Pollock which I intend to finally finish watching tonight.
  • FlixChatter reviews Manchester by the Sea
  • Brittani writes about SAG awards
  • Allie reviews Fences
  • here's m.brown awesome review of Hell or High Water. And if you think I had something to do with that dope Ed Harris reference you are absolutely right. The comment section there reveals disturbing things about our favorite blogger, though!
  •  and finally, this week during my 'googling Ed Harris' adventures (Jesus Christ, I hope the government is not watching me) I found amazing post by Alex where he shared top 10 scenes of Ed Harris' career. That Apollo 13 crying scene. I just can't even find the adjectives to describe it.


    1. "Mel Gibson and Vince Vaughn will star in a movie about police brutality. But the promising thing is that the director of Bone Tomahawk is doing this one so it may be good." Oh shiiiiiiit. Sign me up for this. Now.

      I don't know what to say about Kidman's dress, but being that I dress like a teacher most of the time, I should probably just keep my mouth shut. Forever.

      Speaking of Kidman, that's f--ked up about her playing Momoa's mom. If she looks the part, cool, but damn. Twelve years? That's like me playing the father of a four year old.

      Thanks for the link, M. Or T. Or S. Either way, I appreciate it. I gotta get off the computer now and hurry up and start Westworld.

      Again. Maybe a double feature with True Grit. Perhaps while listening to some Nick Cave.

      1. I just hope you liked The handmaiden :) And survived...certain scenes of it :P

    2. Okay so Nicole's dress had problems but the color of it is stunning. I'm always here for green dresses.

      I'm actually wondering how much Batfleck is going to phone in now that he's not directing.

      I still hate Aquaman, Id rather see WW or The Flash.

      Yes, every single "full retard" joke in Tropic Thunder had to be about Radio. I worked at a movie theater when that came out and our boss used to yell at us for quoting that movie over our walkies all the time.

      I can't wait to see Lion tomorrow. Thanks for the link!

      1. Haha, my God Gooding really overdid it. Ed is incredible for actually managing to keep straight face in his scenes

    3. Affleck's Batman movie sounds like it's going to be terrible unless by some miracle it isn't and someone manages to salvage it.

      I'm hoping to get to Hell or High Water sometime this month; it's been recently popping up on my radar.

      I have mixed feelings on Ghost in a Shell. It looks gorgeous and I'm always in for anything ScarJo but I didn't love the anime it was based on. Basically undecided if I'm going to be rushing into the cinema for this.

      Thanks for the link!

      1. You're welcome! i'm a little worried about Ghost in the Shell because the guy who did SWATH is directing it and he is not very good :/

    4. You're welcome. What the hell was Nicole Kidman wearing...

      I liked Evan's suit. She looks good in the suit.

      I'm glad you're doing that marathon of films with Ed Harris. Radio.... one of the worst films ever. Ed did the best he could to be watchable but man, Cuba Gooding Jr. is just horrendous. That is an example of ging "full-retard".

      I ain't seeing Ocean's 8 not because of the ladies but because the fact that it will feature a cameo appearance from ugh.... the Kartrashians...

      Mel Gibson & Vince Vaughn in a film together.... no thanks. I like Mel but I loathe Vince Vaughn. He's just a lazy, unfunny piece of shit.

      1. Eh, imho she looked awful. Velvet is not something that makes a git suit, terrible make up on her too.

        I haven't seen Hacksaw Ridge yet so I really don't know how well is Vaugh doing lately acting-wise

    5. I’m glad you enjoyed Hell or High Water, one of my favorite US films of the year. I agree there’s rewatch potential. Good to have an atypical film in best picture lineup, it was not just the usual “inspiring” and “performance-driven” oscar bait.

      1. Yeah, it's such an entertaining flick and it stands out from the rest especially that's it has indie feel to it and the rest just have Oscar bait to feel them

    6. I first thought Gibson was directing that film about police brutality and I was like LOLLL. Was glad to hear it was being directed by S. Craig Zahler.

      1. Yeah, Gibson is a good director but the irony of him actually making a movie like that would be too much :D

    7. Hey Margaret, thanks for the link!

      Glad you saw The Way Back, Ed is so good in that one! Ahah yeah, what the heck is Nicole wearing?? WOW, money can't buy taste I guess. Glad you love LION, boy I cried buckets in that one. Yes it's on the slow side but man was it emotional, and that ending, there's not a single dry eyes in the whole theater.

      It's disheartening how political every award thing is these days… "David Harbour's obnoxious are accepting an award for a kid/science-fiction show. Pipe down." Yep, I wish people would just go back to simple speeches thanking ppl and talk about the work.

      1. That was one heavy movie but he was great in this. Interesting how he actually looked better and more relaxed in that than some of the movies located in less harsh environment. Ii pay waaaay too much attention to stuff like this :)

    8. Dude, Nicole Kidman with that red hair from Practical Magic was quite possibly her best look. She needs to go back to that immediately. She inspired me to dye my hair that shade, but it looks 100x better on her than it did on me.

      I presume you've seen Ed Harris in Stepmom, right? I remember watching that as a pre-teen like...that dad is a total hottie.

      1. She looked the best in that movie! So gorgeous. She messed up her face so bad now, but in Lion where she has red hair she looks so much better than with that awful shade of blonde

        I did :) The proposal scene almost killed me :)

    9. Thanks so much for the link! I'm so happy you discovered that post. I love the Harris kick you're on. He's one of my all time favorites. Also very happy you liked Hell or High Water. And I too enjoyed Lion A LOT more than I thought I would.

      1. I just saw entire Pollock yesterday and he was unbelievable in that. Then I saw Run All Night which was really bad he was so good in it

    10. Have you seen The Love Witch?

    11. You know, I'm kind of digging Nicole Kidman's dress. But I have TERRIBLE fashion sense!
      I'm having so much fun reading the latest DC news. So much irony that Aquaman might be the only good one in the bunch. That said...I can't wait to see the best Batman movie ever tonight...The Lego Batman Movie!
      Thank you for the link! Oh, and I've nominated you for a Sunshine Blogger Award :)

      1. Well it has a nice color, I'll admit that :)

        I never saw those lego movies but I completely believe they are the best DC has to offer! :)

    12. Last week was crazy at work so I feel like I missed out on everything by either working or binge watching two Netflix shows. But at least I have the opportunity to catch up with the news here every Friday!

      It's great that Split was so successful because I am a huge, A HUGE Unbreakable fan and I can't believe I haven't talked about it more. I feel like, over the years, I've started to appreciate it more, especially since there are so many comic book movies out there now.. and so many to come.. including shows. There's even this Powerless TV show now.. with Vanessa Hudgens ... my god, they will milk super heroes endlessly.

      Hell or High Water sounds interesting. And I've always had a thing for Pine, I think he has a very good knack for comedy, similar to Gosling but he doesn't get good chances to do it.

      I wonder if I'm going to go on a Timothy Olyphant binge similar to your Ed Harris binge.. Not sure if I can fangirl as hard though, it's an art form you've perfected to a very high level, no one can reach you. :D

      1. You are right there are so many comic book movies and TV shows and they are all pretty much the same, Unbreakable is so unique and truly an fantastic movie

        Pine is not my type at all but all ragged here he was kinda attractive

        Yes, clearly not even men with straightjackets can reach me :D

    13. You would definitely get along well with my Aunty. She has had a thing for Ed Harris for years!