Friday, February 24, 2017

(276) All the thirsty ladies + links

By sati (harlequinade) Friday, February 24, 2017
  •  First of all I did not murder Courtney for her use of the word "once" here but if I did I'm pretty sure that would be acceptable.
  • Second of all after last week's RF five separate women with what is clearly a great taste in men were outraged and sad I have not shared the much discussed screenshots of Ed Harris's everything in the post. You guys. Come on. The one standard I have here is not to *actually* share any dick pics. 
  • However...
  • I can link them
  • Also don't that one comment there say the truth.
  • I probably shouldn't have done that in the beginning of this post, right? On the upside you are all as dumb as me now since your brains just exploded.
  •  Last week I was lured to Nathaniel's website and I listened to this podcast where Ed was mentioned (because if he is mentioned, I will check it out) that pointed me towards Places in the Heart. I actually saw it years ago. I have never seen a film that could better be described as two movies in one. Well one of those was about Harris' character who played a cheating husband and his mistress was played by the luckiest woman in the world, his wife Amy Madigan whom he met in 1981. She has been hitting that for 36 years, you guys. If that's not happiness, I don't know what is. 
  • No, but really. 36 years. If I had that for 36 hours I would DIE. Hell, I cannot imagine 36 seconds of staring into his eyes and not bursting into flames...of pure, true, insane, miraculous bliss.
  • There was this moment where he grabs SO MUCH CAKE and just shoves it into his wife's mouth and starts kissing her. I hate sweet things, I don't even have cake for my birthday, but I'd be willing to suffer for this.
  • Also there is this magical moment near the end where his wife forgives him and takes his hand and he does the one thing that stops my heart all together whenever he does this - starts crying.
  • It's beautiful (as gifed above, by me).
  • I also saw the dick movie aka Swing Shift and of course my copy didn't have that glorious moment but maybe that's why I'm still alive. The film was lovely but so dumb. What woman would ever leave Ed for Kurt Russell? And she cheats on him while he is away at war! That whore!
  • Also the actress who got Oscar nomination for that movie played the Queen Bee in Ally McBeal episode. I instantly recognized her because I practically know that show by heart.
  • The man himself spoke of that Westworld finale twist again, with his usual charm.Yes, it would have been better if they told him. Even better if the casting for the younger version of the character wouldn't be so impossible. Oh, 30 years of nihilism causes the development of mighty swag and Godlike looks? Even for sci-fi that's just dumb.
  • Wonder Woman had test screening last week and the word is that it is the best DCEU movie yet (which is like saying your last diarrhea wasn't too explosive and you didn't paint the bathroom walls with shit this time) but also that it is a legitimately good movie. Of course even if Wonder Woman is indeed a good film it won't be enough because 5 months later Snyder is gonna fuck things up again. Who the hell wants to see another Flash? Who cares about Cyborg? What the fuck is Cyborg anyways? Also Hail Snydra just cannot make a good movie and that Comic Con footage with jokes! levity! White Stripes! was more desperate than Ben Affleck is for the sweet mercy of death.
  • If Wonder Woman truly is good then WB has one job for the next 3 months - don't fuck it up. But I think they just cannot help themselves. To them a test screening with 'well, I'd changed this and this' opinions of random people is like trivia page about a movie with Ed Harris' dick in it to me. They can't let it go. It's all they can think about. They lie awake at night just obsessing over it. They just have to do something about it. And just like I had to google the screenshots, write about the glory of it, PM the pics to people on twitter and resist the urge to make it both my desktop AND screensaver I assume WB just has to get in there, cut that movie to pieces and put as much of Katy Perry, Gaga, Beyonce and whatever the fuck passes for girl power music these days on the soundtrack as they possibly can.
  • [Single Ladies playing the background]
  • I finally saw that Logan trailer everyone kept saying was so awesome and it really was so awesome. That thing should come with some sort of warning because ever since I saw it on Friday I was unable to stop listening to Johnny Cash's Hurt. Don't believe me? Look.
  • It would be so dope if they used it in Westworld trailer for season 2. You know Ed Harris standing there in the park 'and my empire of dirt' and a close up of him and "and you can have it all"...
  • I put way too much thought into this, don't I? They haven't even started shooting yet. By the time this show comes back I'll be locked up in asylum adorning walls with paintings of him made with my own blood and drool. Or I'll be what's the word? Dead.
  • But anyways...
  • 69 reviews and 96% fresh rating on RT. R rated. Road movie. Western. Shirtless Hugh Jackman. This is gonna be so amazing.You guys. 
  • Not one. Not two. Not three. But four Angelina stories this week.
  • I just can't. This week alone Heroina apparently finished her fillings, botox and hellfire injections enough to go out. For some reason the judge who is handling her divorce still hasn't taken her poor children away and she has now taken them to Cambodia. This is some circus. Then it got even more cringe worthy as she was giving staged interview about her divorce. And then it got even worse as she ate tarantula. If that is not a warning for men out there not to cheat on their wives I don't know what is. Oh she is pretty? She will bring a brood of spoiled children upon you, she will then accuse you of being high and driving off like a mad man on airport's fuel truck and then she will eat spiders on TV. It's like a fucking real life version of Margot's Librarian sketch on SNL.
  •  Rumor has it Brad has made a list of all the sick stuff Angelina did and he had his lawyer read it to her lawyer. Just spill it, Brad. 
  • Still Skeletina has two movies she wants to do. I predict none of those will happen just like that Cleopatra thing. 
  • Viral video for Alien: Covenant dropped. Haven't seen it yet but I heard it's not very good.
  • Daniel Craig is now the longest serving 007. Given his comments during last one's promo tour I'm sure he is just delighted about this.  
  • Seeing what Kate Winslet gets to do in her job makes me hate mine so much more.  
  • I haven't seen Hacksaw Ridge yet so the clip from it in Honest Trailers brilliant breakdown of Best Picture nominees made me laugh for several minutes.
  • Scarlett Johansson is gonna host SNL while promoting Ghost in the Shell. I'm not sure doing a comedy show while you are in a movie facing whitewashing accusations is the best thing.
  • John Wick 2 was not as good as the first one. It was still fun and Keanu is an absolute treasure but since that horrible thing happened in the first part the stakes were much higher. Every single time he killed someone in the first part I was like yeah! for the puppy! Here I was like why did this lady kill herself? oh whatever.
  • Big Little Lies premiere was pretty good. It doesn't help anything that like a moron I had to read on Wikipedia who got killed. Kidman and Witherspoon (whom I don't really like because of her insistence on buying the rights to the books and turning things around to fit her whims) were very good. Also I really like Vallee's style. If only someone else played Camille in his next year's Sharp Objects and not Basic Blandness Amy Adams. Ughhhh.
  • Here's new promo poster for American Gods which is going to premiere at April 30th.
  • Keanu Reeves appears to be in more need of a relationship with a member of opposite sex than I am. 
  • ...
  • Nope, no one is in more need of that than me but he is a close second.
  • I took the annual day off after Oscars but I just so don't wanna watch the ceremony. Not only La La Land is gonna be such an undeserving winner (did those fools even watch Hell or High Water?) but the constant fawning of awards bodies over it has turned this entire season into such a bore. I actually still haven't seen the entire Golden Globes ceremony. It's the Oscars and I should watch it but I just. don't. wanna. If I will, I will hope Gibson has some sort of flashback to that cop pulling him over and starts screaming about Jews or jacuzzis again.
  • I understand wanting a private life but not showing up to Oscars to support your husband is just weird to me. 
  • Apparently Johnny 9 Digits is into Daisy Ridley. Run, girl. Run.
  • New week, new embarassing Hiddles' news. I love Tom Hollander so this is horrific.
  • The one person I am rooting for at the Oscars, the always wonderful Michael Shannon has shared some thoughts about sex. So that's a good way to cap this RF.
  • Brittani reviews A Cure for Wellness 
  • Mark didn't quite love La La Land 
  • Jordan reviews Trainspotting 2
  • Kevin breaks down Oscar nominees for Film Editing 
  • Go wish MettelRay happy birthday!
  • Allie and m.brown review Fifty Shades Shittier
  • Courtney lists her top 10 movies of 2016
  • Alex breaks down sound mixer Kevin O'Connell 21 Oscar nominations
  • Flixchatter reviews Fences
  • Keith reviews John Wick 2
  • and finally m.brown is hosting his awesome blogathon again and you all need to participate! I already have most of my post done and I think I'll post it on Tuesday. Gonna be so epic you guys.


    1. I lol'd so hard at thosr Honest Oscar trailers.

      And that Michael Shannon article.

      I hope Wonder Woman is good. DCEU needs that.

      Logan looks fantastic. I haven't said that about an X-Men movie in a long time.

      Thanks for the link!

      1. Yeah I'm not big on those X Men films either...Fassbender and McAvoy are great in recent ones but everything else is kinda meh

    2. Thanks for the link! That Logan trailer is so fucking great. So is Johnny Cash's "Hurt". So is that Honest Trailers Best Picture takedown..."All the Oscar Things" is the one that got me.

      1. You're welcome! Yeah they really nailed that trailer! My favorite was the remark about LLL costumes - they're just wearying clothes!

    3. Angie is so desperate for attention. Oh, I was at a supermarket yesterday as I saw a picture of Angie on a magazine w/ her rumored new beau to be none other than.... Jared Leto. I was like "oh shit, if Margaret finds out if it's true.... we're all fucked because she will unleash something more evil than Satan".

      Run Daisy or better yet.... use the Force.

      1. No worries, she is far too old for Jared's taste. Hell, I'm too old for his taste

    4. Well.. I'm not gonna say I didn't click on THAT link because I totally did... damn, I mean.. yeah, damn.

      You know, I noticed a lot of Jolie news this week but I wasn't paying attention to them because I don't really care about her.. I have always been team Aniston, so, yeah, ha. Poor Brad though!

      OMG I can't wait for American Gods. I read the book now.. last year, and I've almost at that point where I remember things but not very clearly anymore so I still can be surprised by the show. And I hope they change some things. The only thing I dislike from the beginning, Emily Browning as the wife... like..that's only a 7 year difference between them, but Browning looks so god damn young with that baby face that I can't seem to think of her as Shadow Moon's wife.. I just can't see it.

      Thank you so much for the link!

      1. I know right? It kinda leaves you speechless. That chest alone is a marvel.

        I am still at 1/3 of the book. I love it so far but I only have time to read books when work is slow and work is never slow lately. I'm not sold of Browning's casting either, she is not very good and that is the main female part in the story so I'm hoping she actually tries and does something cool in the role

    5. My brain hasn't exploded, at least not for that reason anyway. I respect Harris, and am content enough staring at his manly...face. You ladies sink to such depths sometimes, you know? It's really embarrassing, really. Me? When I see Baywatch 17 times, it's gonna be super classy. Like, I'll be removing my really nice pants in the theater.

      (In all seriousness, that GIF in the church is fantastic. Man, powerful stuff, right there)

      Just the other night, I attempted to describe Wonder Woman's powers to my wife, and it was pretty pathetic. My only knowledge comes from the old TV show...and I don't think that was all that, uh, good. Hopefully the movie is awesome (and I can learn something).

      The Logan trailer has had the same effect on me too. Well, sort of. I have been playing Cash's version of Hurt on loop, as I can't hear it enough. I have very high hopes for Jackman's latest/last (though the Deadpool rumors are interesting).

      Up next for me is my review of JW2. I think we totally agree.

      Oh, this line? "(which is like saying your last diarrhea wasn't too explosive and you didn't paint the bathroom walls with shit this time)" makes me think we're the same person. Read part 1 (goodness) of my Fifty Shades Darker review and you'll know what I mean.

      THANKS FOR THE LINK!!!!! LET'S DO THIS!!!!!!! (sorry, I don't think the turn it is going to be as big as last I find myself yelling a lot)

      1. Hey, hey, hey. He knew his dick was out. It's not like he went 'oh my God Mr Director my cock is there we can't release it like that'. That was premeditation and me and the other ladies are completely excused here. I respect his work and talent and ethics. Wanting to climb that like a tree feeling is however also there.

        Don't do that, they will arrest you perv online like a 'normal' person :D

        I think she is super strong and agile...but beyond that I have no idea what she can do

        I really hope people participate I don't wanna have to kill a bunch of bloggers in our little blogosphere

    6. I clicked. I saw balls. I conquered.

      I'm going to watch the Oscars, because I feel obligated to after another year of movies in hopes that the under-dogs will win. The Oscars ALWAYS have at least one big surprise each year, so maybe that surprise will be Shannon? Huppert? Moonlight? You never know. I won't hold my breath, but I'll post a good re-cap for you to check out if you decide to pass on the awards.

      1. We all conquered :)

        I'll probably watch but this is just such a boring Oscar season. If Shannon and Denzel won and LLL lost BP it would be fun though

    7. Don't stone me...but I'm still not sold on "Logan" just yet. Cool moody songs and an R rating doesn't impress me. But they are probably thinking "it worked for Deadpool", another movie I didn't like! (Like I said, don't stone me).

      You really should give Hacksaw a look. It is a fashionable punching bag for many and some miss what it's doing. I think it is well-deserving the awards attention even though it has no chance of winning.

      So Ghost in the Shell is now being accused of whitewashing? Speaking of fashionable!

      1. Don't worry it's not like you're not sold on Ed, which would cause the stoning :)

        I definitely will check Hacksaw Ridge, out of the movies nominated for Oscars I have left to see at least this one seems eventful

        Oh yeah people were going after it ever since ScarJo casting was announced

    8. Thanks for the link, Margaret!

      Ooooh, lookie young Eddie, sooo cute!

      Man I can't freakin' wait for Wonder Woman!! Yes no Snyder in this one to ruin it, but you're right, he'll be back 5 months later to fuck things up again, heh. I really couldn't be more disinterested in The Flash if I tried. But I am curious about Aquaman because well, it's Jason Momoa!!

      Yeah Keanu is still fun to watch in John Wick 2 but what is up w/ the woman killing herself and still he shoots her in the head!

      1. Actually Snyder wrote the story for Wonder it's still in danger :) Aquaman looks great so far and it seems production is going smoothly

    9. I applaud you for finding a way to provide us with a glimpse of Ed Harris's assets without sacrificing your standards. ;-)

      I am definitely looking forward to American Gods! It's one of the few things that can take my mind of the toxic shit show that my country has become. :-)

      1. Yes I believe I should be getting some medals for this :)

        American Gods looks fantastic, I just cannot wait for it. There needs to be one exciting show to watch for me at all times until Westworld comes back because the wait is killing me

    10. have you seen game change, where ed harris plays john mccain?

      1. Yes I did! Really good movie and the actors were all wonderful in it. He was way too good looking for that part but his performance was fantastic

    11. 2016 was a terrible year at the movies. I'm really hoping 2017 is better. I could barely put together a 2016 best list. Please oh please don't let DECU mess WW up. pretty please with sugar on top. I want to love this movie.

      1. My 2016 draft of list is such an embarrassment, I'm preoccupied with my posts about all of Ed's performances and frankly it's way more fun to write than to watch 2016 movies and listing those

    12. Thanks for the link! I'm curious where Big Little Lies goes... the second episode was pretty intense. Witherspoon is great and the Skarsgård/Kidman banging is like whoa.

      1. You're welcome! Their scene was so disturbing! I love Witherspoon in this it's one of her best roles