Friday, March 3, 2017

(277) "I wasn't trying to be funny" + links

By sati (harlequinade) Friday, March 3, 2017
  • Day 5 and I still cannot believe it happened. I have been watching Oscars for 15 years and this is the funniest thing that happened since Travolta's "Adele Dazeem". I knew the second these guys started running around behind the producers of Blah Blah Land that something was up and I actually thought maybe they read it wrong but what transpired...oh, man. 
  • It was seriously surreal. Watching that wave of  "we didn't really win" going on on the stage with La La Land people and especially the stunned reactions of the audience was amazing. Charlize Theron was the best, first covering her mouth with her hand and then nodding when Moonlight guys got on stage. Shirley MacLaine was next to her just trying not to faint out of embarrassment for what her brother just participated in.
  •  I have almost pissed myself at Beatty's "I wasn't trying to be funny" line + him losing it on that stage. I saw that whole thing about 4 times in a row and it was after 6 AM here when it happened.
  • But what truly almost killed me was Dunaway's shocked "WHAT?!" which I caught after the ceremony when MTV posted that moment on twitter. It was like something straight out of Mommie Dearest.
  • Also what happened at rehearsals was apparently a mess too.  
  • Gosling in that shirt looked even more like a gigolo than he usually does but his reaction to the mix up (on the left) was absolutely fantastic.
  • Jeff Bridges' reaction.
  • Ray Liotta's reaction
  • and here's the rest:
  • Mistakes, tweeting, feuds, incompetence...whatever the reason I think we can all agree none of this would have happened if Ed Harris was presenting Best Picture. First of all he would have been up there alone without co-presenter because men wouldn't want to stand next to him (they would look awful in comparison) and women wouldn't either (because they would fear dying of excessive blushing). Second of all if he was up there and saw he has the wrong envelope he would just go "what is this bullshit?" looked at those clowns with envelopes in briefcases and the right envelope would just fly out of there and land in his hand. And then, upon feeling the might of his eyes on it, that card would read itself. 
  • It would read itself, you guys.
  • But anyways....
  • Denzel really doesn't care. He must have known the camera was on him as Affleck was talking about him but he continued with his resting bitch face. Amazing.
  • The ongoing Matt Damon harassment was so funny. My favorite bit was We Bought a Zoo clip and "Ben Affleck and guest" followed by Damon saying "I know what a guest is!". Hysterical stuff.
  • Kimmel was a fantastic host. I actually liked him more than Ellen and he deserves tons of credit for how he managed to put a humorous act on the stage as that catastrophe was happening. Warren, what did you do?!
  • The way Horowitz violently yanked that card out of Baetty's hand was so distasteful. My heart sank. Beatty is a legendary actor, 79 year old man and unlike Dunaway he didn't make the mistake and he actually tried to put a positive spin on this. He shouldn't be disrespected on Oscar stage when it wasn't his fault. They were handed the wrong envelope in an unprecedented situation. He was clearly confused and did what most would do - he chose to turn to his co-presenter who mistakenly assumed he was goofing around and she just set off that grenade. If there was one presenter on the stage I think whoever that would be they would immediately say they had the wrong card. 
  • Unlike Dunaway he walked over there and tried to explain. Seeing that card getting yanked out of his hand was really awful. I was laughing so hard during this whole situation but that really gave me pause. It was clear Horowitz was furious at Beatty. I gotta say the second I saw this moment I was glad those producers lost. That petty 'oh we lost anyways so yeah' dude too (whom by the way was giving a speech even though he knew they lost). I'm not sure where was this grace everyone talks about. That Horowitz told Moonlight people they won? If he didn't it was clear either Kimmel or Beatty were about to do that. He only did that because the other producer made that undignified comment and they were really coming off as sore losers.
  • Imagine if he yanked that card out of Faye's hand.
  • You know why that shocked me? Because I would never do that to anyone. Even in situation like that. I would never yank something out of someone's hand, especially a stranger, a respected person, on a live television when millions of people are watching. 
  • Gosling laughed it off.  Emma Stone went "oh my God...oh my God" as she realized what happened, giggled and then she run to front of the stage to rush Moonlight cast and crew there - that was lovely. That was the way to do it. I have higher respect for these people seeing how they had to work with these ill tempered producers.
  • This is the greatest thing that could have ever happened to this overrated movie. Look at this.
  • Slightly older Damien from the Omen next to Barry on the covers of magazines.
  • It is forever in history now and it is stealing the focus from Moonlight. Had LLL won it would get backlash. Had it lost like other nominees it would still have 6 Oscars but people would say it lost BP. Now people don't focus it lost BP. Honestly the amount of undeserved attention this movie got and shoveling sharpie goatee on a cover like this appalls me. Now people go poor La La Land. Yes, 6 undeserved Oscars and 'sharing' but really stealing spotlight from the movie that actually was voted to win BP.
  • Apparently Emma had a huge crush on Leo so her Oscar win was even more special because he handed it to her.
  • The Rock almost took down the ceremony's producer. He's also talking about LLL's producer's grace but what does he know, these people photoshop Paul Walker onto the photos of sunsets. Also did you guys catch Samuel L. Jackson wiping the tear away as Moonlight won?
  • Amy Adams wasn't nominated so she skipped the red carpet. I can't with her constant campaigning, undeserved nominations and "you snubbed me, I am skipping the red carpet" vibes. Also that desperate 'oh, it's my tits!' outfit. Ugh, that woman.
  • Suicide Squad won an Oscar. You just can't make this shit up. They won for best make up which was arguably one of the least horrendous things about it, but still what an undeserved and ridiculous win. When that happened DCEU nerds were beside themselves laughing how 'we have an Oscar and Marvel lost one for special effects'. What we also have are three bad movies, a mess of a production on every movie other than Aquaman and Zack Snyder in charge of all of this, for fuck's sake.
  • I laughed so hard because J-boo broke his routine of climbing/hiding from the world/apparently cutting his hair with scissors because there is no other explanation for this hair that was going on since Suicide Squad premiered to attend the Oscar party, clearly encouraged by this movie being an Oscar winner now.
  • To join the memes in my style - Suicide Squad Oscars - 1. Ed Harris Oscars - 0.
  • Here's Michael Shannon trying to stop the feeling (my gif since no one else made it clearly I'm the only person on tumblr making gifs that truly matter):
  • I really liked that Timberlake performance in the beginning - it was so happy and everyone was having such a good time. 
  • and one more time, here's to Michael Shannon:
  • Before the ceremony and since last RF I did really badly with my movie watching. The only movie I saw in entirety was Coma which was Ed's feature film debut (in 1978). He was in it for about a minute and it was the best minute of the movie. Seriously. 
  • So I counted and it turns out since his debut there are 76 performances he gave. And yes, I will watch them all. I already saw 52. I decided to make 4 posts and write about his roles chronologically. I have 7 more films to watch before I can write the first one (20 performances between 1978 - 1992) it's definitely coming in March.
  • He is so gonna sue me and I'm gonna be on the news....
  • On the other hand my Best and Worst of 2016 list is still in extremely rough draft and the way it s going it's probably gonna be published in the summer.
  • I also saw Walker. Well, so far I saw half of it because in one scene he got down on his knees and went down on a woman and I blacked out and decided I need to finish it another time because if I continue I will inevitably die. But here's some tweets:
  •  Just....dear God.
  • So I will attempt to finish this tonight and also watch 80's Borderline with him and Charles Bronson. He has a gun in that. 
  • A very big gun. 
  • more vodka for me.
  • Big Little Lies' second episode was very good and featured fairly shocking scene between Kidman and Skarsgard. Witherspoon continues to be MVP. Her fight with Dern was so awesome.
  • New Alien: Covenant trailer dropped. It's seriously going to be a complete rehash of Alien with Aliens and Prometheus plot elements thrown in. Why do studios continue to throw reboots at us and call it sequels or prequels? And more importantly - why is Ridley Scott determined to ruin his own legacy? The idea for Alien prequel trilogy is great but so far his specific ideas are not well executed at all, there are no memorable characters and even creature design and creepiness factor is lacking. There are some rumors regarding the character of Elizabeth Show that are promising but that's only if the studio was smart enough to take some stuff out of test screenings (the entire plot of the movie leaked months ago). I'm not counting on that since they put the footage out of the last part of the movie with Alien chasing Daniels outside of the ship in the freaking trailer. The golden rule of a trailer for a horror movie is to never reveal the monster. Yeah, we all know what Alien looks like but the variations of it are always supposed to be a surprise since each installment had different one - the original one, the Queen, the born out of animal one, the human/Alien mix and the Deacon in Prometheus. And here not only did these idiots show the final form in the freaking trailer, they even showed it in the daylight. The marketing for this movie is seriously lacking. The trailers reveal way too much and unless the studio kept stuff from test screenings audience you can guess the plot of the entire movie out of both trailers.
  •  Very sad news on the Oscar day as the lovely Bill Paxton passed away at 61 years old. He always had such a lovely, warm presence in the movies. I rewatch Apollo 13 a lot and he was so good in that. It's always so sad when wonderful actors and from everything I read about him truly nice people pass away.
  •  The Big Bang Theory cast are truly lovely people. And Mayim and Melissa really deserve those bigger paychecks - they both do such great work on the show. And I have soft spot for Melissa because with her glasses (I wear glasses for reading), dresses and ridiculously high voice some of my friends actually call me Bernadette because of similarities between us. There is so much irrational hatred going about that show. I haven't missed a single episode. I think it's a funny, warm and well acted series. These are astronomical sums these actors are earning but considering the show's success and how much the network makes of it it's well deserved 
  • J-boo is in talks to be in Tron 3. Wait, they're making Tron 3?!
  • Here's Angelina's new perfume commercial. Oh sorry, here she is.
  • I don't know how it happened that Joe Biden is associated with this mess
  •  This actually reminds me of one of the few movies with Ed I have left to watch where he plays the husband of Annette Bening. After his character dies she meets the guy who looks just like him. This is obviously sci-fi because that movie suggests two men like him exist. And one women got with both of them. I don't even have one and this bitch has two?
  • *write through the anger, bitterness and desperation, Tinkerbell*. 
  • Well anyways, this movie looks so sad. But it doesn't have family connotations between the characters (unless there is a twist he is a twin or something) like that Biden mess.
  • Ian McShane went after Game of Thrones fans again. I so hope he comes to Comic Con and just tells them to go fuck themselves from the stage.
  • Garry, Carrie Fisher's dog, celebrated his birthday.
  • Hail Snyder shared some fun footage of Aquaman from Justice League. Please save DCEU shirtless Merman Momoa.
  • I bet it was Sean Penn.
  • Wood and the GoatMan will have Disney's "first exclusively gay moment". While I'm still wondering what the hell is 'exclusively gay moment' - I mean I can think of one in Brokeback Mountain but what does it mean for a Disney movie? - and while I think making a comic relief character gay may not be making a statement Disney thinks it is making here come the torches. 
  • "If I can’t sit through a movie with God or Jesus sitting by me then we have no business showing it.”. I'd love to know which movies are those where God or Jesus sit by us.
  •  And finally I really wanted to see shirtless Hugh Jackman Logan this week but the asinine distributor in my country decided it's a good idea to make a version with dubbing and unleash it upon movie goers. You know dubbing for a serious, violent, R rated in US movie. Because of this the subtitles showings are rare and I may need to wait a week until they change a schedule. I hate all of you who are gonna see it this week., it looks dope as hell.
  • Kevin, Dan and Jordan choose the best movies of 2016
  • Courtney, Keith and Brittani recap the Oscars
  • MettelRay chooses her favorite movie beards 
  • Allie reviews one of the most unintentionally hilarious movies ever - The Happening
  • Alex's special In Character post featuring 2016 Oscar acting nominees
  • Ruth recaps her viewing month. She loved Logan!
  • and finally last chance to participate in m.brown's AWESOME BLOGATHON!


    1. Beatty's "I wasn't trying to be funny" line. Oh my God that was so incredible awkward. I sank in my seat when poor Beatty had to apologize for something he wasn't responsible for. AND THAT F-ING PRODUCER...snatching that card out of his hands. It's you know who he is??? REGARDLESS, like you said, you don't do that to anyone even if it was a heated moment. Fool. FOOL.

      And, Alien Covenant. I was on board, but that trailer just isn't giving me any feels. What happened to the Neill Blompkamp project that had Ripley on board?? I'd much rather watch that then Prometheus 2.0...

      1. I'm just stunned and appalled so many people justify him. I can confidently say even in the heat of the moment I wouldn't do that to a perfect stranger when the cameras were on me. This was such an entitlement like "you read it wrong, fuck you" and then people wax poetic about this guy's grace? If they see nothing wrong with a clearly ill tempered man on a stage doing was so sudden, so violent and so appallingly rude I was really taken aback. It was as if someone was speaking normally and suddenly just snapped at a random person. I was legit disturbed by this. Nothing excuses that.

        I think Ridley convinced the studio to put this on hold so he can do his rehashes :/

    2. I'm far more annoyed at Dunaway than Beatty, she barely glanced at that card before blurting it out. That producer that gave the "we lost anyways" speech makes me seeth. I didn't realize he knew he had lost at first, I thought he overheard as he was talking, but nope. He knew and talked anyways. I hate that Moonlight has to share this moment.

      BLESS YOU for that Michael Shannon gif. There's not enough gifs of him out there and he's so awesome.

      I like Bernadette, but I hate Mayim Bialik and her anti vax, "I'm a better parent because I attachment paren" ass. Lol Amy ruined the show for me. I've been watching it again recently and she still brings it down. And now they're doing a young Sheldon spin off? Why?

      I hope Kimmel hosts again.

      Thanks for the link!

      1. I gotta start watching interviews with Shannon. He seems to be promoting his many, many movies (he is so hard working!) a lot and I somehow never caught him on a talk show

        I know she is kooky in real life but I think she pulls off her character on the show well. That young Sheldon spin off is a bizarre idea but who knows, it may be fun

    3. a giant LOL at Liotta and Bridges' reactions!! Man hearing about all this makes me wish I could have watched the clusterfuck unfold live.

      Oh and that guy you talked about, the 'we lost by the way'... i was thinking the same thing as what you wrote.... why the fuck are you giving a speech when you know you've lost!!! I was feeling sorry for him because I could see the people running around behind him, and I thought he hadn't realised... god, what a tosser. He should have been yanked away from the mic like that card was from poor Beatty :(

      1. No, he was actually the one who told Horowtiz and when they were still running around and he knew they lost he just walked over there and talk. Then I go online and I read all that praise for 'graceful producers of LLL' and I'm like what the hell kind of rudeness people are witnessing every day that this to them is graceful?

      2. Really??? Graceful? What the fuck are they talking about!!?

        I know why. He -knew- that would be a popular move. It wasn't graceful, he did it to look good. Pandering to the sheep, and they are obviously baah-ing together in their ignorant bliss. I just watched a Kimmel clip of him talking about the incident, and he said the same thing. Of course the sheep crowd applauded and cheered. People who can't think for themselves honestly make me feel sick.

        Even though I think the film is INSANELY overrated, its sad that they didn't only share the stage with those Bla Bla Land fucks, they also had to share the front of that magazine. So bogus.

        After seeing this post I watched it all again, and god-DAMN Chazelle really does look like a demon in the background. He looks like he is trying to hold in a nuclear explosion of anger!!

        Thanks a ton for the link btw :) I've not been posting much this year so it is appreciated. I really wanna get more writing done, but, you know... life.

      3. I think you actually been posting more than me, I don't even remember when I wrote a review last other than The best of 2016 list won't even be done for a long time...

        Chazelle really had no reason to be pissed off, he won his Oscar over far more deserving people albeit the directing was LLL's stronger suit

      4. I really really need to watch The Handmaiden. I was angry I missed that at the cinemas, I bet it looks amazing.

        Agree with you about Chazelle. But that pic looks so funny! :D

    4. I don't get to comment often, but I appreciate this and this one had me laughing.
      Poor Warren Beatty.
      I feel bad Moonlight's win will be overshadowed by this nonsense.
      Michael Shannon is my spirit animal. The No pin is gold.

      Bill Paxton passing away is very sad. I always liked him and he always gave a good performance. He was terrific in the Hatfields and Mc Coys.

      Reese Witherspoon is the MVP of Big Little Lies. Skarsgard is doing some good work on there too. I wish HBO would make an Eric and Pam spin off.

      1. Eric and Pam spin off would be amazing! Them and Lafayette were the only parts of the show I consistently liked

    5. THANK YOU for the link Margaret! I hope you get to see LOGAN soon.

      Yeah so sad about Bill Paxton… definitely gonna be talking about him at my 5 for the 5th post. I actually think the Kimmel/Damon feud was hilarious at the Oscars, esp when Kimmel was directing the orchestra to interrupt Damon speaking!

      I'm SO over the Oscars now though, moving on!

      I am looking forward to Aquaman (mmm…mmmm Momoa!) but Justice League, not so much :\

      1. You're welcome!

        Aquaman will be in Justice League so i bet that is gonna be the only good thing about it...

    6. Oh man.. Estonia had its Eurovision song selection show this past Saturday and they rushed the winners on stage and were handing then flowers when some random person came on stage with another envelope.. everyone was like.. omg omg.. the singer of the song almost looked like she will hit the hosts.. but they just had the same winner on that envelope but for 30 seconds everyone was like OMG.. sadly, because we picked a horrible song this year, my god.. :D

      That Angelina sentence with images was hilarious!!

      Logan was.. beyond epic! My god.. best X-Men movie ever made!!

      Thanks for the link!

      1. It's gonna be envelopegate situations and jokes and meme all year long now :)

        Haha yeah it's a cheap shot at her but I just couldn't help myself :)

        I'm sooooo psyched for Logan!

    7. "This is obviously sci-fi because that movie suggests two men like him exist."
      I may have peed myself a little, this was too good.

      1. Haha, this week's is gonna be even funnier :)

    8. I've been getting so mad at the stories online slamming Warren Beatty for 'announcing the wrong winner'. For a start, he's not to blame at all for being handed the wrong envelope, but he wasn't even the one who announced La La land! ARGH!
      That said, I've kind of forgotten all about the drama after educating myself on this Kimmel & Damon feud...which has been HILARIOUS and meant that I've watched a total of 1 movie in the last week. Sigh.
      And yes, whilst I thank you for the link, THAT was the movie I ended up watching. I'll see myself out...

      1. Hey that's still better than me :) Although I already saw 2 since last RF and I am dragging my tired ass to see Logan on Friday maybe you guys will even get actual review of it next week here

    9. Okay, even though I passionately disagree with you insane denial of Angelina Jolie's innate sexiness (or at least, one-time innate sexiness), that little redirect you pulled had me crying. It's a dick move, sure, but that skeleton picture was just about the worst/best thing ever.

      I know it's waaaaay late, but I think the Oscar finale was pretty f--king rad in the complete firestorm that it has ignited. I know it must hurt the LLL guys, but good God, it's a f--king trophy. Handle it like Gosling and move the Hell on. And I'm with you, what's with that one dude still giving his speech? Are you f--king kidding me, man?

      Thanks for the final linkage and participation (and promotion, for f--k's sake!!) in the Mt. Rushmore of Movies. Everybody kicked ass this year, so I'm f--king stoked overall. Well, if only Brittani would have got all that man-ass on a monument. Sigh. Maybe in 2020?


      1. Dude even when she was hot she could literally poke your eye out or impale your dick with her bony elbow. Accidentally. That's not sexy, man.

        My pleasure! You gotta host blogathons more often, yours are the only ones I'm sure to participate in. I need to swing by your site to check that no doubt epic boobs post!