Friday, April 21, 2017

(284) That's not a choo-choo + links

By sati (harlequinade) Friday, April 21, 2017
A post shared by Hugh Jackman (@thehughjackman) on
  • I think we were using the world 'adorable' wrong before applying it ONLY to Hugh.
  • (Checking out the videos on that instagram is guaranteed to put a smile on your face. Trust me. The side effect is that you are going to be insanely distracted...from all of...this perfection. And for a long maybe watch the videos on Friday evening and then lie down for the rest of the weekend.)
  • Also welcome to the world where Girls is finally over! The evil has been defeated! Rejoice! Rejoice!!!
  • So I did another triple Hugh (this sounds like a sex thing...which it kinda is) feature on Saturday. 
  • Les Mis rewatch, finishing the rewatch of Logan which I started on Friday and Paperback Hero.
  • As usual here is the selection of my best (and by "best" I mean "most inappropriate" tweets:)
  • Dude what the fuck is Les Miserables. I think 5 lines in this whole thing were spoken and not sang and I'm fairly certain I am not exaggerating here. Hugh's performance was lovely as was his singing but seriously if he wasn't in it, that would be unwatchable. The songs were quite memorable, though and the music was very good and after you watch something like La La Land where the only memorable thing music-wise was Gosling's whistling you really appreciate stuff like that. Hathaway's big Oscar song was good but it's still a fairly terrible Oscar win. Redmayne...let's not even go there. I have recently proclaimed that I will rewatch this movie even though it's sewage but Hugh is in that sewage..And what do you know, there's literally a scene where Hugh has to dive into an actual sewage.. And he is doing all of that to save Redmayne which he is carrying in this moment. So he's quite literally carrying shit and was covered in shit.. 
  • I was just....aghast, you guys.
  • But then it was time for the ultimate gorgeousness. I mean really if I could choose just one movie to watch for the rest of time that would be it. I'd cry all the time, but god damn it's worth it:
  • (seriously why the fuck didn't that doctor do something about this gigantic wound? Was he perving uncontrollably too?)
  • (if so he is the second most relatable character in this movie right after the chick who shows Logan her tits in the limo. Oh my God. If this was me not only would I do that I'd just teleport myself to his lap in the driver's seat. Oh God, I can just picture it right now. We would so totally crash that car.)
  • (I had A LOT OF THOUGHTS during this movie and take my word for it - the stuff I'm writing here is still decent comparing to what is lurking in my mind about this whole film and this guy.)
  • I truly don't think there was ever a character hotter than this man here.
  • The beard. The swearing. The suit. The quiet rage. Him saying stuff like 'that's not a choo-choo'. The reading glasses.
  • Oh good God, the reading glasses.
  • All of it. Just all of it. 
  • Well apart from this tiny moment where he was so totally cool with leaving a child behind and if those cars didn't block him he would probably do that but that is details, baby, details.
  • No, but seriously the film is so damn realistic - of course he wanted to leave Laura behind. These guys are after her. His main instinct was to protect Charles, his friend. That is also his first instinct after X-24 takes her away. Logan doesn't go after him, no, he goes upstairs to see Charles.
  • But really, god damn, Hugh. 
  • That man is a menace. 
  • There were actually moments where I had to pause the video. Stare. Shake my head in disbelief and awe. Sigh. Giggle. Drink water. Fan myself. 
  • Cry. Yell 'how?!' when looking up. Put my fist through a wall. Dance around naked in the moonlight. Sacrifice a goat. Praise the Gods for placing him on this Earth. 
  • And only then I could resume watching.
  • Also on a rewatch you really appreciate so much more about this movie (changed the grade from 9,5/10 to 10). 
  • The agonizing scream Laura lets out when she sees Charles' body.
  • The fact that when the dad asks Logan how long Laura was mute it seems that only in this moment Logan realized she has not said a single word to him. He didn't notice. She didn't need to speak. She has been through the same thing he was and he gets it, so he doesn't even realize this girl didn't say anything. There are no words necessary. 
  • The banter between Logan and Xavier being so natural it feels like watching real people. It's all so emotional. And it's so damn funny, Like that moment at the gas station when Logan helps Xavier because he needs to pee and Xavier is like I can't go when you're looking and Logan says Trust me I'm not looking while striking this fucking pose:
  • (have you ever laughed while you were drooling profusely? Well I did right then and trust me, you can die this way)
  • Holy fuck I never wanted to be in the men's room of some shady gas station in US more. It would take me 3 seconds to rip all of his clothes off him.
  • I actually realized there are quick bits from this film for the life of me I don't remember like Caliban's remark about Logan not being able to read the label or the armpit stab during the fight. The latter is easily explained by me simply perving so hard with two of Hugh grunting and fighting that I blacked out momentarily, but the first was probably me just being too mesmerized to retain the events in my brain. After all he was brooding sexily in this moment.
  • I am so gonna do that 'things I love no one talks about' list like the ones Alex does for this movie once it hits Blu-Ray (which is in a month) and I can perv in high definition. 
  • Paperback Hero was so charming. It was one of the first movies Hugh did and he was using his Australian accent in it. I was swooning all over the place.
  • I got MettelRay to watch it and she was swooning too. Lisi is rewatching all of the X-Men movies because of me. I think Hugh owes me something. I'm not saying a lot, seriously the tiniest thing would kill me.And my staycation is almost done so please sir, end me.
  • On Christmas Day I saw a movie where Ed Harris played a priest. And now on Easter Monday I saw the movie where Hugh voiced Easter Bunny. I'm so going to hell. They're gonna need to make like a special circle for me. 
  • Like something where Logan is naked but I'm tied up and cannot touch him. 
  • I just turned myself on typing that sentence. 
  • Rise of the Guardians was so cute! Hugh made for one badass bunny and I kept wondering if his fear of flying is a homage to X-Men (Logan hates flying, that precious lovely angel). And there was this moment where he was so tiny and I just went 'awwwww'.
  • Also in important news it looks that boo kangaroo stopped shaving. The end is nigh. And by that I mean I sense the beard is about to come back.
  • Big Litte Lies is overhyped as hell. I saw all the episodes in one day so those music video like sequences which were opening and ending every episode were pissing me off so bad. This thing could have been twice shorter if it wasn't for all those scenes. Also the show was filled with ridiculous ideas - so Jane doesn't know how her best friend's husband looks like? And that final confrontation was just laughable, yes I'm sure he would have flipped out and just beating the crap out of all those women. The acting was all around wonderful - Zoe Kravitz surprised me the most. And that dinner at Bonnie scene where Madeline kept throwing up was hysterical. But that gigantic praise...really?
  • Veep is back! Very strong premiere episode and Ben describing Uber as a service for the  millennials too lazy to learn how to drunk drive was so funny
  • I'm actually on my 9 day long vacation right now and I was supposed to watch tons more stuff but between catching up with Ed Harris' films for my posts, boo kangaroo marathoning and Veep and Big Little Lies I didn't see anything else. But I cleaned my room. And went bra shopping. Turns out I went up a cup size. Maybe I got pregnant while rewatching Logan? I am not ruling it out, you guys.
  • New trailer for The Beguiled dropped so of course I had to whine again:
  • Oh man, the stuff that is going on in this trailer. The stockings being ripped, the buttons falling off...pretty sure if I ever wrote a porn novel - and I think at this point we all agree that I should - it would be like that, the setting being the same and all. 
  • But instead of all those women there would just be me and the wounded soldier. 
  • From Australia.
  • Hold seems that my porn novel is a new version of Misery but with youngish, hottish lady psycho aka me. 
  • Oopsie.
  • Don't worry sir, I live on kale so there is no way I can lift a sledgehammer. 
  • The trailer is awesome but it's spoiling quite a lot of the film. Still it's nice that we have something to look forward to during the summer, it seems like most of the potentially fantastic films is premiering in the fall/winter.
  • Finally first footage from Kingsman: The Golden Circle but you are gonna need to watch it frame by frame. The film looks great and it seems Moore is having tons of fun there.
  • This being released and The Beguiled trailer (which premiered on CinemaCon) showing up in entirety today suggest those Blade Runner 2049 and The Greatest Showman trailers I keep waiting for may be getting released soon. For the love of God, come on!
  • J-boo brought his favorite jacket to Coachella. Everyone there dresses ridiculously so he must feel right at home there.
  • Melissa McCarthy was amazing on SNL again.
  • Vin Diesel and The Rock signed up for another Fast and the Furious movie. 
  • I talked about Tyrese's ridiculous remarks last week. He since apologized and it reads like 'my wife is mad at me and won't sleep with me so here is this verbal diarrhea'. 
  • Julia Roberts is People's magazine most beautiful woman. Insert Ryan Reynolds but why gif here.
  • Taika Waititi and Elizabeth Debicki on Guardians of The Galaxy 2 premiere last night. Also Karen Gillan and most importantly her incredible shoes:
  • I finally saw Atomic Blonde trailers, urged to do so by one of the readers here. I'm glad I did that because those were seriously cool trailers and while I'm not convinced the movie is gonna be good I'll definitely see that for Charlize and James McAvoy.
  • Tonight and tomorrow it's the double feature of Furious 7 (which I am livetweeting atm) and The Fate of the Furious so until next Friday, when I'm inevitably even dumber than today.
  • And finally I may be in Poland but it's National High Five Day in America so that's good enough excuse to use this gif:
  • Allie writes about Big Little Lies, Legion and Girls
  • MettelRay reviews John Wick Chapter 2
  • Dell gave his movie awards for 2015
  • Brittani reviews In the Bedroom
  • Listen to Alex discuss Song to Song on Matineecast
  • AssholesWatchingMovies reviews The Fate of the Furious
  • Vinnieh asks about the favorite performances of the one and only Hugh Jackman
  • and finally, in his quest to see every abomination ever made m.brown watched Passengers and perved about JLaw. I don't know how to help him.

  • I talked a little bit about our fucked up Polish fauna last week but here is a rare adorable example of it:


    1. That Hugh Jackman. He's so awesome. Oh, he kind of makes a cameo as a poster in Me and Earl and the Dying Girl.

      I'm going to see the original The Beguiled next month just before I see Sofia's version.

      Oh Melissa McCarthy, she does it again and so fucking dead on.

      I finally saw Suicide Squad this week and review will come... in a few days. It's more than half-done so far....

      1. Yeah I remember that! That was one of the very few things in the movie I liked

        I heard the original is very good

    2. Totally forgot Jackman was in Rise of the Guardians. Really liked that one. I liked Les Miserables, too, but probably won't be watching that one again. Thanks for the link!

      1. Yeah he was such a cute Bunny! I see he also voiced a rat and a penguin...well I'll probably check out those too.

    3. Fun work as always Sati. Great gifs and thanks so much for the linkage.

    4. I don't know if I just have a 6th sense for your best stuff, or if you're always just kind of brilliant!

    5. THE DOCTOR WAS PERVING UNCONTROLLABLY. that's it, I cannot go on..
      jk of course I will.
      how is it friday already?
      have a great weekend, sati.

      1. How is it almost the end of my vacation already? :/

        Great weekend to you too!

    6. OMG you mentionned me, this is too much. thank you for making my day, got a work-loaded weekend ahead, dear.

      1. You're welcome! Hope you're having fun with those X-Men flicks!

      2. just finished with apocalypse yesterday, wasn't too bad that last one!

    7. Hooray for Guardians of the Galaxy 2!

      It's a shame Big Little Lies wasn't better. I enjoyed the novel, but certain things did stretch suspension of disbelief a bit and I can imagine that not translating well to the screen.

      1. Well a tons of people loved it and even m.brown saw all of it, so maybe I'm just being odd here :)

    8. Of course Lena Dunham and Zosia Mamet ended their big Girls interview with throwing Adam Driver under the bus because he landed Star Wars. It's so hard for those two with famous parents to get roles, and Driver just gets "handed" Star Wars. No, No he didn't.

      I loved that Les Miserables was mostly sung words, that's amazing and not enough musicals do that.

      The new Beguiled trailer was awesome even though it essentially gave the entire movie away. lol (Well, for those that haven't seen the original anyways)

      Thanks for the link!

      1. Eh they can all just fuck themselves. Nepotism bitches. I really hope neither of them is ever heard of again.

        HBO is forever tainted by giving this moron 6 years worth of platform to spew her bullshit from.

    9. Wait, Eddie Redmayne is in Les Miserables? UGH. I've been avoiding that movie for so long and now I have a valid reason. Just the mention of his name makes me itch.
      Girls provided me with (near) weekly Adam Driver and now I'm just going to have to track down all the shit movies he's been in. Pout.
      Thank you for the link! :)

      1. Yeah he is in it and for like half the movie too.

        Get in touch with Brittani about that I think she is kind of a Driver expert :)

    10. Yeah, I caught quite a number of details on my second viewing of Logan that really elevated the movie and made me appreciate it all the more as well. Great stuff, and I can see it only improving with time.

      Also, yes, those Atomic Blonde trailers look quite awesome. Looking forward to that one. B)

      1. I really hope Atomic Blonde is memorable, there seems to be a lot of female-led action movies again and it would be a shame if they are all the same

    11. Hi Margaret! Oooh now I have to watch Paperback Hero! Wish Hugh got to use his own accent more often.

      Ahah I still have no desire to watch Les Miserables. It's just WAY too much singing even w/ Hugh in it.

      So are Taika Waititi and Elizabeth Debicki dating? Dayum they look smashing together!

      1. Nah, I think Taika is married. They are just posing :)

        And Paperback Hero is absolutely worth seeing, so charming and Hugh is just...lovely ^^

    12. Every time I see this RF title…I think we’re talking about something…uh, wiener-related. Kind of like doing a triple-Hugh, I suppose.

      My wife once floated the idea of seeing Les Mis, and I immediately began to look like Bishop, right before he’s split in half by the queen. No f—king way I will make it through that one, even if Hathaway sings a song about how poor and dirty her currently exposed breasts are.

      Flooded apartments? Gaping wounds? Naked rituals? Goat murder? Shady gas stations? Has this site taken a turn? Like, the amount of perverted sex implied here is off the charts. I’m not saying I’m not a fan…Oh, I am…but I’m just wondering if we’re at the top of the mountain, yet….or if there’s still some ways to go. *gets popcorn ready*

      Hahaha…I’m glad you liked Rise of the Guardians. You either didn’t go back and read my review (which I’m more than okay with) or I didn’t say anything negative about HJ, because at this point, I haven’t felt any invisible tennis rackets to the dick. Phew.

      People go…bb-b-bra sh-sh-sh-shopping? This is a thing that women do? Do go on…

      Thanks for the link! Can’t wait to read your review of Passengers!!!!!

      1. Eh they weren't exposed. And she was so skinny there was probably nothing to expose there.

        Turn? This has always been one way street - I'm sorry - highway of perversion. What perverted sex? The car thing or the public place thing? Cause I've done one of those back in the days of there being any traffic there. Oh there are ways to go you cannot even imagine.

        I think I actually did comment back when you published it and even then I was quite excited about Hugh being a bunny :)

        I needed a strapless one...:)

        Fuck that, I ain't watching it unless we do make that remake of it.

    13. OOh, Paperback Hero was adorable.. definitely a lot better than the ratings suggest plus Hugh looks so young it's actually a little disturbing.. I think, I think, I prefer his more rugged appearance!

      Since I'm reading this right before this week's RF, I feel like a lot of new information has come out and I'm eager to hear your thoughts about the Kingsman trailer. Plus since the GOTG2 is out, and the reviews have been all over the place, I'm yet again curious to hear what you think.. so I'm curious.

      And I'm so gonna ignore the fact that the first half of this RF was pure porn and good thing I'm about to take a shower... I feel dirty... but in a good way!

      Thanks for the link! Sorry for being such a douche and reading this so late, I have been working non stop. I need a vacation asap... but who knows when that will happen.

      1. Oh I definitely like the rugged appearance more but I would not kick the young version out of bed :P

        Kingsman trailer thoughts will be in today's RF. I'm not watching GOTG2 any time soon because I will not pay for any movie starring Chris Pratt but I'm not surprised at the reviews, the trailers were lousy

        No worries! I'm busy too, it's basically taking my entire evening every day just to keep current with all the posts in the blogosphere

    14. I tried to watch Big Little Lies. I got through the first ep, but haven't felt compelled to finish it. It wasn't nearly as good as they hype. Admittedly, Reese Witherspoon's character irritates me profusely.

      1. Yeah Reese's character doesn't get any more likable beyond first episode :)