Friday, April 28, 2017

(285) Don't toy with us, boo kangaroo + links

By sati (harlequinade) Friday, April 28, 2017
  • This has been a lovely week with so many boos doing so many beautiful things. Boo kangaroo, Jason boo and Tommy boo all did something awesome this week...oh, how blessed we are, truly. 
  • However today I have seen something truly horrific.
  • It's like I'm seeing him in Les Miserables dive into the sewage again.
  • On Saturday before my vacation was over (on the upside it is 5-day long weekend in Poland starting tomorrow. On the downside I had to actually take a day off on Tuesday because my employer didn't figure out that since Monday and Wednesday are days off it would be decent to give us the day off on Tuesday) I decided to treat myself and watch The Wolverine again. 
  • Yeah I'm doing it. I saw almost all of Hugh's films and now I'm doing round two. 
  • Before you ask..I did not do that pillow thing.
  • I spent....a lot of time on Hugh's instagram last weekend. 
  • In my instagram travels I have seen and heard things. 
  • Things I can't unsee. 
  • Things I can't unhear. 
  • Like this:
  • I don't know whether to thank him for putting porn there or to faint or to go on another 'what if someone was driving a car and saw this, he is so irresponsible' rant.
  • And also why is he eating by himself? Someone should be feeding him stuff. Making sure nothing falls on his shirt.
  • Although why is he even wearying a shirt? 
  • (I need to lie down for a moment, I have too many thoughts about this video)
  • ...
  • .....
  • .......
  • Anyways in big and highly relevant news...
  • Let me explain to you the chain of the events:
  • On Sunday Hugh posted a selfie of him on Tahiti.
  • I was not aware that Tahiti is apparently a big thing in nerduniverse thanks to that Marvel Agents of the Shield show.  Clark Gregg who plays agent Coulson retweeted Hugh's photo.
  • Naturally I did too:
  • So what happened was essentially a whole bunch of people started tweeting and instagraming "magical place" and LoganLives hashtag in comments to Hugh's photo and basically everywhere.
  • And what did Hugh do? That innocent angel who was so completely unaware any of this was happening?
  • He posted another selfie
  • That one was worse because a) he is in a tanktop so I was not OK b) he appears to be on a boat so there was a lot of 'he is on a boat...the Sunseeker...crying noise' comments.
  • No, let's just take a moment. This beautiful man is finally off on well deserved vacation after 7+ months of working on his new movie, dealing with cancer again (fuck you cancer! leave him alone! for the love of God LEAVE HIM ALONE!) and promoting Logan. He posts a selfie and goes on to live his wonderful life and us crazy nerds keep tweeting stuff in reference to an episode of the show based on comics because LOGAN RIPPED OUR HEARTS OUT AND WE CANNOT DEAL WITH THIS.
  • I'm pretty sure if I ever see a cloud shaped like a boat I'm just gonna yell 'My God it's Charles and Logan. Take me with you! TAKE ME WITH YOU!!!".
  • In far more important news - he really did stop shaving! Yey! 
  • Also he is already back in NYC. What the fuck kind of vacation is few days? It took me longer than he was vacationing to clean my room last week. Please, sir, rest.
  • I'd like to be considered for a Pulitzer prize. And an Oscar. For holding the perving long enough to tweet something normal.
  • I should stop tweeting him well wishes. I should just lurk silently. If he ventures on my profile I'm so screwed and not in a way I'd like to be.
  • I'm not sure how many of RFs have you read (and for your sake I hope not many) but in case you don't know - I freaking love Jason Statham. Jason has starred in my #3 favorite movie of all time - Snatch. Paul Feig may have committed the atrocity known as Ghostbusters but I will forever love him for giving Jason another comedy role after all these years in Spy. But the thing is. if Jason is in a film I'll see that film. Those Crank movies? Seen them. All the Expendables films? Seen them. Transporter flicks? Yep. Trashy movie with J-Lo where they don't even bang? Seen it too.
  • I'm obviously single, I'm clearly desperate and dammit I'm a good fan girl so if Jason is in The Fast and the Furious movies, I will see The Fast and the Furious movies.
  • So before seeing the new one I saw Jason's cameo in sixth one and the seventh one which yes, for your pleasure, I livetweeted:
  • Then I saw The Fate of the Furious and I rated it 6/10 which is one point over Furious 7 and all of that thanks to one incredible scene:
  • Jesus Christ it is only April and I have already witnessed Hugh and Jason being all badass and killing bad guys in order to save children. Hollywood is doing the Lord's work this year.
  • This may be the best year ever. We still have Hardy in a war movie to look forward to, Harris in what may be a good movie, J-boo in BR2049 and there's next Hugh movie this year for which so many people are assuming he will win an Oscar. Yey!
  • Jason and The Rock spinoff has already been announced. Vin must be hating this. This franchise is the only thing he has going, other than his gig as a talking tree, and now two best things about it are getting their own movie.
  • Overall Vin's week was not great. I swear to God he is like new Batfleck with the amount of crap that hits him weekly. Here's Charlize just not giving a fuck and going 'what?' about him raving about their kiss.
  • I rewatched The Heat and Spy while making my top 100 movies list. These are just so funny I could watch them over and over again.
  • It doesn't seem like we are getting the sequels to the two mentioned above. This seriously depresses me.
  • Yes, I am working on my top 100 favorite films list. I bet I can move some stuff around and get Logan even closer to top 10. It's's everything.
  • I also rewatched Transporter 3 on Sunday. Yes, it was because it has that ridiculous scene where that annoying chick takes away Jason's car keys and makes him strip. That's pure gold.
  • But when it comes to boos it is perhaps Tommy-boo that shone the most this week after he run after a thief, apprehended him and proudly announced "I caught a c*nt". This entire story is as impressive as it is arousing. 
  • Kingsman 2 trailer finally dropped and it was the worst thing it could be - meh.
  • I like the song choice and I love the cast but the trailer was so underwhelming and  they actually spoiled something quite important. Tumblr is loving this but I expected more. Still I much rather have a lousy trailer and a good movie and Kingsman was such a surprise - I detest Matthew Vaughn - he has made Kick Ass after all - but I somehow ventured to see Kingsman and I ended up having the greatest time. No way they can top the church scene here but if it's as entertaining and has great soundtrack like the first one (Slave to Love! I fucking love Slave to Love) then it's gonna be awesome.
  • Also can someone explain to me because it's 2 years later and I still don't understand - why the fuck were people so up in arms about that anal sex joke? Like seriously, why? I'd get the outrage if it was him proposing that but it was the chick's proposal. So what is the problem? 
  • Idea time and do I love the fact that it follows that above bulletpoint - make the third one in Australia and have boo kangaroo as the leader of Kingsmen there.
  •  Taron, you know you want this to happen too:
  • I'd say I relate to Taron here but the way he looks at him is nothing comparing to the way my face looked when watching Logan. Or pretty much anything with him. It's like a mix of Puss in Boots from Shrek doing his innocent face thing, so much drool and that little girl creepy smile gif I always tweet. It's like I'm witnessing a miracle but I'd also like that miracle to bang me so hard.
  • ...
  • (just give me a moment to picture it.)
  • ...
  • ......
  • Let's just move on now...
  • canine shit.
  • Yes, the dogs of Hollywood finally have a good place to poop on.  
  • I don't think we even need to curse this moron - he will soon be unemployed just because of the stupid shit he says. Also he seems to be pulling a diva card so soon. You know how I measure if any of these actors is famous? Whether or not my mother knows them. She doesn't watch many movies (and the ones she watches are almost exclusively romantic comedies) but she reads all those tabloids. She knows who Colin Farrell is (and loves him despite not seeing a single movie with him) because he knocked up one of our Polish actresses. She knows Hugh because she saw Kate & Leopold and she is a seeing woman so all it took for her to remember him was seeing a single picture of him in those gossip rags. But Chris Pratt? She has no idea who this dude is. My point is - bitch you ain't famous, pretend to be gracious.
  • Hey, that rhymed!
  • And here's another one doing a great job at saying stuff that will piss people off. I'm shocked he went to the same school as Hiddles and Redmayne. Shocked.
  • Guardians of the Galaxy 2 is not getting the kind of stellar reviews other Marvel movies are getting. I'm thrilled. Movies that help Pratt get famous shouldn't be successful. I said it before, I'll say it again - I'm not paying money for any movie  starring the pet abuser Chris Pratt ever. Even if it's a movie with Hugh. Even if Hugh was naked in it and I could see ALL of it in 3D - NOPE. You gotta fucking condemn people who treat pets like Pratt and his wife did.
  • But I'd like to think that Hugh wouldn't work with someone who would do this considering Hugh loves his dogs and puts capes and boots on them during winter.
  • I cannot just type that and NOT link this instagram video, and this one and this one, can I?
  • Fresh out of getting that Marvel money from Thor: Ragnarok Jeff Goldblum joins Jurassic World 2. He won't be getting my money, though for the reason mentioned above.
  • While I applaud Amber's strategy of dangling the carrot (which I call the Anne Boleyn tactic - lead him on until he almost explodes. Sure, Boleyn got beheaded in the end but the tactic worked) she needs better targets. And by that I mean the ones who 1) don't look like a hip field hobo mouse and 2) are dumb. The hot robot chick from Westworld was married to Musk twice and he has iron prenaps. There's gold Amber but the soil you are digging in is either rotting or covered with fucking concrete, honey.
  • David Mackenzie, the director of Hell or High Water and the stars of this fantastic movie Chris Pine and Ben Foster are reteaming for another project. 
  • I thought Brie Larson was supposed to be smart? Well, ain't that illusion gone now.
  • 1. She felt 'sad' or whatever and says stuff like 'they saved my life'. Rich actress felt sad and embarrassed  to talk about herself  as she was promoting the movie and she is equating this with what exactly that she then goes on to say 'they saved her life'? This is so gross. How out of touch can those vapid Hollywood chicks be?  Turns out very 2. You're as good as the company you keep. And this one has hit the trifecta there. Just...eww all around. It's like spoiled and silly they gave us the Oscar too early club with Dunham and Schumer putting their fame hungry hands on the branches to see what the popular girls are doing in their little tree house.
  • Gal Gadot says she wanted to be a lawyer and thought she was too smart and too serious to be an actress. I am a lawyer. Clearly one doesn't need to be smart or serious to do that. Or even sane or comprehensible.
  • Batfleck looks terrible. I don't know what kind of detoxing he is doing....although I suspect it's no kind.
  • Fox is gonna fuck up Dark Phoenix storyline. For the third damn time. 
  • Don't you just love it when someone who blew a guy on film calls taking selfies disgusting? 
  • Veep was on fire this week:
  • Speaking of the devil, Wes Anderson's, who kills animals in every movie of his, next movie has 'dogs' in its title. I will never ever see this thing.
  • We're getting that Unbreakable/Split sequel. James, Anya, Bruce Willis and Samuel L. Jackson are all set to return and the film is titled Glass. HYPE!
  • Jonathan Demme, a wonderful director, passed away. So many of his actors shared beautiful statements about him. 
  • Alexandra Daddario, who is to m.brown what Hugh is to me but only in 1/100000 part of intensity since 1. no one can reach my pervheights 2. unlike me he has a life, said that she is thrilled about being in Baywatch because she was a nerd in high school and couldn't get guys to notice her. Lots of people in the comment section there are doubting if it's true. I buy it. She is not a classic beauty so shallow dudes with awful taste (and that is most of them) wouldn't find her pretty. Also - come on. Give me and other chicks in this blogosphere these actresses' stylists, make up and resources and we will look just as good if not better. Google Amber Heard or Sofia Vergara without make up. Go on.
  • Also Alexandra says that there are more dicks in the movie than there are boobs. I'm not sure how is that possible or whose dicks we are talking about here but if it's The Rock's and Zac's then those are not the dicks I'm looking for.
  • However...
  • The Rock just worked with Jason and Zac just worked with Hugh so it's like one degree of dick separation to the ones I do wanna see.
  • I'm just gonna go ahead and move on from the dick talk now...
  • American Gods premieres in 2 days. More than a year ago I started reading the book in the office. When things are slow in the office that is the only time I have to read the books since at home I have other things to do. I absolutely loved what I read but I'm still at 1/3 of the novel. That's how crazy the work has been.
  • Two things here - 1. Rebeca Ferguson is back as Ilsa! 2. I'm 100% sure Tommy Girl is behind making Cavill look like someone with a shady, windowless van with those mustache. After all he must be the 'hottest' dude in his movie. 
  • In truly shocking news David Fincher is actually going to make the sequel to that Brad Pitt zombie movie they spoofed hilariously on South Park. I'm not sure what is more evident - him needing the money (evidenced by this move) or me needing to get laid (evidenced by these weekly posts). It's a tough call. Oh who am I kidding, it's the latter.
  • Well at least I looked nice today. But there was no one there to tie my ribbons. Gustav is not that talented.
  • Blade Runner 2049 trailer will be attached to Alien: Covenant and it's the first thing that makes me want to see the movie in theaters.
  • I'm just astonished at how badly Fox is handling the marketing campaign and pretty much everything surrounding this movie. The entire plot is out there, the TV spots spoil everything except the ending and now they are doing the worst shit in the history of marketing - they are putting content out there to fill in 'the gaps' in the story of the actual movie with the footage that is not in the actual movie. That is even more dishonest than Suicide Squad marketing since they at least used scenes that at some point were in the movie. This is just releasing clips and making people think they are in the film when they are just viral videos not even directed by Ridley Scott, but by his son (hello, nepotism).  This right here is the 'prologue' featuring the lead of Prometheus Noomi Rapace and Michael Fassbender. Apparently a bulk of that is not in the actual film.
  • It's so frustrating and frankly disrespectful to the actors. Noomi Rapace was wonderful in Prometheus and her and Fassbender's performances both elevated the film. Now it looks like she has more time in this viral video than in actual film.
  • Just give us the full movie. Don't expect people to track down all the viral marketing stuff, live stream behind the scenes videos, read prequel novels or whatever. Who the hell has that kind of time. When you go see the movie and pay your hard earned money for the ticket you should be getting finished product containing the whole story. 
  • The marketing campaign's ridiculousness is reflected in this fiasco
  • Also it only recently struck me - Fassbender's casting as an android is ridiculous. He looks 60 years old. Unless you have a serious older men kink like I do (if I could have a robot I'd have one who looks like Logan and given that Hugh is 48 and looks at least decade older there...I am the last person who should be pointing this whole issue out, aren't I?) why would you make a robot that looks this old? It's so noticeable because they have Guy Pearce there and the first scene is David awaking. And Pearce looks younger than a newborn robot.
  • Also what the fuck is Fassbender doing to himself? \His skin looks like crackwhore's who died and whose corpse lied in the sun for a week or something.
  • I truly cannot decide what is more impressive - George Miller managing to make the masterpiece that is Fury Road over at Warner Bros or James Mangold managing to make the masterpiece that is Logan over at Fox. It's like the shit is being thrown from every direction  there and they still managed to plant, nurture and protect beautiful flower right in the middle of a god forsaken sewage.
  • Next post here? Another write up on Ed Harris' performances. I'll try to have it ready on Monday.
  • MettelRay reviews the one, the only - Logan
  • Courtney shares four deleted scenes from Aliens
  • Brittani reviews Free Fire
  • Adrian vs the World has a great write up on Big Little Lies
  • Steven reviews Suicide Squad
  • Not only am I pretty sure m.brown didn't even see Eddie the Eagle yet but he saw Collateral Beauty and gave it a favorable review. First Passengers and now this. How do we help him?
  • I'm clearly perverted but even I'm shocked that Penis in the Popcorn which Jay is writing about is a thing.
  • and finally Allie hosted her Movie Confessions blogathon. Everyone there had one, two, three tops. But not me. Oh no. Yep, I got the entire section there.



    1. Thank you for the link love. Hugh Jackman and Jason Statham in a movie together.... I smell...... $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

      I like Brie Larson as well as I'm glad she has a friend in Emma Stone but seriously, why is she hanging out w/ the sister-molester, unfunny tampon lady, and J-Law.

      I thought dogs already have a place to poo on. The Hollywood Star of the name of our current idiot president whom I refer to as Il Duce.

      Coming soon, Elon Musk will be sued for lots of money by the gold-digging skank.

      1. Yeah and I'd pay so much money for that movie :P

        I don't know why people like Emma wanna have anything to do with Dunham. Emma has charm and class and Dunham is the exact opposite of that.

    2. Thank you for the rambling Friday, they always make me smile.

      Chris Pratt is a moron. The real star of GotG is James Gunn, the director.

      I am guessing Sophie Turner returns as the Dark Phoenix...ehhhhh...nope

      1. While Turner wasn't bad in Apocalypse she just didn't feel like Jean to me especially if she was supposed to be younger Famke Janssen. She just doesn't have the charisma and class

    3. Man, I can't watch The Wolverine again lol. I'd rather just watch the gifs of Jackman with his shirt off.

      I lol'd so hard at your tweet about not understanding Vin Diesel. I don't see how people find him hot.

      In Brie's defense, she probably didn't mean literally saving her life since quite a few people use "life saver" casually. But I don't know why Lena and Amy had to become part of the conversation. lol

      Pratt's face is everywhere right now because of Guardians promotions. lol

      My husband feels about Alexandra Daddario the same way M. Brown does. Like, I think he resisted the urge to try to high five me during True Detective. How she got no dates is beyond me.

      Thanks for linking the Covenant prologue, I haven't watched it yet. And thanks for the link!

      1. It's a pretty good movie! Not just because of how freaking beautiful it is visually :P

        I don't get people finding Diesel hot either. At least The Rock seems like a super nice, laid back dude

        I don't know why Dunham and Schumer are part of any conversation, really :/

    4. Great post again Sati. The love for Hugh Jackman has gone into high gear I see, which makes this post very fun to read.

      1. Yes, the world has not seen a love like this :P

    5. I'm not a huge fan of World War Z (though I really liked the book upon which it was loosely based). But if David Fincher is going to take a shot at it, I'll be sufficiently intrigued to check it out.

      1. Fincher will definitely elevate it but given the genre I'm not sure even he can elevate this to something worthy of his involvement

    6. Tom Hardy said I caught a c*nt? I need to see this? Is that from that Peaky Blinders show? I still haven't had time to check that one out

      Oh, and FUCK Chris Pratt. He lives up to his last name like no one ever will.

      I hope that new movie bombs like Hiroshima. The first one was god-awful and I will never understand why people like it, or good god, actually find it funny

      1. No that is not from PB that is from real life :P

        I actually did enjoy the first Guardians but it is overrated. The second one looks terrible though, there is nothing I loathe more than seeing a joke play out that doesn't make me laugh and that was basically the entirety of all the trailers and tv spots I saw for this thing

    7. It was again a very delightful and.. a steamy RF - loved it!

      There are so many news I've been missing out on this week and the week before, I've been living under a rock, it seems. So thank you for keeping me informed!

      I'm not a fan of Pratt any longer either but I'm going to see Guardians on Thursday. We'll see what comes of it. I think I've haven't missed a Marvel movie in the cinema for years now.

      But let's talk about the good things... Hugh, Jason and Tom.. man, those men. and Taron! I feel like he didn't get to do anything in the Kingsman trailer, like he was there and he had a few great moments but I feel like he needed a bit more.. he does say "fuck me" in the end when he sees Harry during the R-rated trailer, which is something I would probably say when I would see Colin Firth. On that note, I hardly think anything will ever top that church scene.. like, that was some cinematic magic combined with Firth and unless he starts kicking ass in this one, I can't see anything topping the madness of the church scene.

      Thanks for the link! Though I had no doubt that it would be linked because camon, Logan!,

      1. Thank you! :)

        Yeah that's exactly right, Taron didn't really do anything in the trailer. I'm sure he has things to do in the movie but the trailer didn't show any of Eggsy's fun personality, it was just so generic. I actually did rewatch the first movie yesterday and that church scene is truly exceptional, seeing Firth kick ass like that was delightful

    8. Ahah wow, you REALLY can fangirl like nobody's business!! But Hugh is deserving of your adulation, he is wonderful. I'm still smitten by my local crush though, it's funny that I'd rather be watching playbacks of my own short than seeing FREE FIRE, a movie I've been excited about for ages because of Sam Riley!!

      Oh SPY is a fun movie, I just rewatched it recently and really enjoyed it! Seeing Guardians 2 tomorrow, haven't been excited for it to be honest. Man I can't wait for Wonder Woman already!!

      1. I really hope Wonder Woman is good and whatever Snyder's involvement there was was as minimal as it could possibly be. It would be nice to finally have a decent DC movie

    9. lol, I've actually been getting a kick out of your Hugh Jackman rewatches now. And I can especially appreciate any excuse to revisit X-Men Origins over and over again. :P

      1. Yes my yesterday's rewatch of that was quite fun :) And it's really an entertaining movie, the script is a mess but Hugh alone makes it worth seeing, he never phones it in