Friday, May 5, 2017

(286) Proud + links

By sati (harlequinade) Friday, May 5, 2017
  • (I don't know if you guys know how much time these posts take to write but I start them on Saturday and have them in draft entire week and every time I see something to add, I do that. But still on Friday it takes a lot of time to prepare the post to publish. I have been editing this motherfucker for 5h now and every time I think I'm done something new shows up on my twitter feed and I need to change it. No more. I don't care what happens. I'm publishing).
  • Ladies and gentlemen let's open on high note. That high note being Hugh Jackman grabbing his magnificent crotch during cricket match:
  • God bless cricket.
  • I can't stop looking at that. 
  • It's hypnotic.
  • I have no idea why he is doing that. I can only deduce it's to murder me and all other women on this planet.
  • It's working for I CAN'T BREATHE.
  • So I finally saw the entire episode of Jonathan Ross show where Hugh and Taron promoted Eddie the Eagle last year. A bunch of stuff happened there but some of those I just must gif. So far I gifed one moment - when Jonathan asked them if they shave or wax and Hugh clearly just decided fuck it, let's kill them and did this:
  • (that gifset is blowing up on twitter. Someone reblogged it and tagged it "jesus fuck I felt it in my balls". I'm so very proud I can bring people this joy). 
  • (also tumblr increased the limit to 3mb per gif. Look at that quality. Amazing. When I get my hands on Logan video in HD I will get nothing done for days. I will gif the living shit out of it).
  • Also Taron's excitement there was delightful and relatable.
  •  Luke Evans was there too and they kept showing him whenever something saucy happened. He really looked like he was going to fall off the couch he was sitting on.
  • Somebody please stop me from interacting with this man's twitter.
  • Red Alert - Hugh attended the Met Gala on Monday and of course looked so good when I saw him tweet the photo I had to drink so much water and open all windows:
  • Evil was lurking near him. I was so worried.
  • Before you ask - I had nothing to do with this. I have a cast-iron alibi. I was at home, refreshing instagram and twitter every few minutes and looking for pictures of Hugh from the red carpet. There are tweets documenting my madness.
  • Hey, I didn't say it was a non-pathetic alibi.
  • James Mangold the man who gave us Logan announced that the Black and White version is coming. Of course in America and here in the butthole of Europe we don't get it. But it's gonna be available on DVD./Blu-Ray this month.
  • There will be deleted scenes! I think I know two scenes that will be there based on the stuff that was in the trailers and not in the movie - Logan wandering around in white tanktop with a whiskey bottle. You know, just in case I'm still alive after watching the actual movie, they decided to throw this in.
  • This spectacularly gorgeous artwork of Logan and Laura showed up along with the Blu Ray announcement.
  • Also Jesus Christ do I hate jumping through all the hoops to buy stuff from American stores here in Europe. The regions, the shipping, the billing...My God. Just give me one link to click without me having to fucking read through tons of stuff and doing shady Lisbeth Salander stuff on my computer to get shit to work. Give me all the extras and I'll pay you $50 for this movie. Fuck it, $100. Fuck it, my kidney. Just make it easier please and take my money. You have no idea how much I envy people who get these films first, can just go to the store and buy the Blu-Ray like a normal human being.
  • Visual Parallels post between Logan and Fury Road is coming this month. Already made the cover and took Fury Road screencaps. It's actually surprising even to me how many similarities I found. 
  • On Friday I rewatched Eddie the Eagle. On Saturday I rewatched half of Logan but that was after I rewatched Kingsman and have been drinking so that livetweet was... unrepeatable (I did rewarch the whole movie on Tuesday. Whole rewatch number 3 for me. In two month's time). 
  • On Sunday I rewatched Wolverine: Origins and that livetweet was actually comprehensible. Somewhat:
  • I was doing the checklist again too:
  • Speaking of MET Gala, here are some of the looks. Olsen twins looking so haggard it's almost unbelievable + spreading gypsies out there to curse ya vibes, Katy Perry in a crimson curtain and Rihanna who was dressed accordingly to the high couture theme but what the hell is that is the appropriate reaction to have here. She also said it took her an hour to get into these boots. Also we have Evan Rachel Wood with one of the worst eye make ups I've seen in my entire life. She looks like a raccoon. A very sad raccoon. Madonna was also there but I do not wish to feature the picture here, it would just ruin this post.
  • One word. Trash
  • I did love the gowns worn by someone called Zendaya (who is that?) and Blake Lively
  • More importantly Ryan Reynolds was there with her. All those rags reporting who wore what designer's clothes - who cares?! There is only one thing I wanna to know and that's if Ryan stalked Hugh again and got him to do Deadpool 2. This is literally the only thing that matters. Did he go after him to the men's room and slipped the script under the door when Hugh was inside? Cause I would do that. 
  • I mean I'd do so much more than that so that's a good thing that I'm on the different continent. 
  • It is not until yesterday that I saw the proof that the two interacted....and from those images I can only deduce Jake and Hugh were talking and then Reynolds appeared out of nowhere:
  • But wait there is one more boo kangaroo related thing I just became aware of today. MTV Movie and TV Awards are this Sunday and since Hugh is everywhere he is attending this one too and he is gonna be sitting next to Emma Watson:
  • I think he is also presenting something. Also Alexandra Daddario is gonna be there so m.brown may wanna tune in.
  • (I am reaching the conclusion that instagram is the best source of information. I had two questions this week - did Ryan and Hugh interact during MET Gala? and will Hugh attend MTV awards? and the search on instagram answered both. Let's not focus on what exactly was I searching for or how many times a day I repeat that action.)
  • I'm so excited. It's like the Oscars is happening on May 7th except if the Oscars actually nominated Hugh for what he should be nominated for in 7 months time and won't be because fuck my life
  • (I actually still hope The Greatest Showman gets pushed to 2018. If it doesn't he isn't getting nominated for Logan.)
  • (Or what if some people vote for this one and and the other vote for Logan and the vote splits?)
  • (Oh my God, I'm getting dizzy)
  • I'm already full blown unhinged on twitter
  • Logan has 3 nominations - for best film, best duo (Hugh and Dafne) and best actor.
  • Boo only got 4 nominations in 17 years and never won. What the fuck, youth of America?
  • Of course for twenty something years there were two categories - one for Best Actress and one for Best Actor - but now they merged them. And I fear in this PC world they may just hand the first unified award ever to a chick. As a woman let me tell you - DO NOT DO THAT. MTV actually has a chance to do something which the Academy is too dumb as fuck to do - appreciate Hugh's work as the Wolverine and give him standing ovation for it. They had 17 years to do that and didn't so now it's their last shot. So do not give it to Watson. For the love of all that is holy and good, do not give this to Watson. If he loses to Watson or him and Dafne lose to the guys from Get Out or Disney faux Gay Moment dudes I swear to Christ I'll vomit and dive into it.
  • Of course I'm gonna watch that ceremony. I saw Animated Bunny movie for that man.  I'd rewatched Les Miserables and Prisoners. I'd literally watch a documentary about squirrel's diarrhea if somehow he was there. I won't watch it live though. Stupid work on Monday.
  • MET gala, MTV's my glamorous life:
  • Dude, that's where I put my face!
  • Like most people out there I take pleasure in witnessing something bad happening to those who have more money than me. Behold this gift to us
  • While it is absolutely incredible someone would pay so much money to go to the concert where the biggest stars are Ja Rule and Blink 182 the accounts of those spoiled, rich people who cannot go by without food or water for few hours are just amazing.
  • The wolves on the islands of Bahamas, y'all.
  • Seth Rogen announced that he is making a movie based on the festival going horribly wrong. I love Seth but I'd rather see the documentary about this one.
  • I saw Get Out and I thought it was overrated as hell. Yes, it was a well done movie which was really unsettling and creepy but 99% on RT? Really? I saw 8 movies this year and it's already barely in my top 5.
  • Colossal was great and here's my review (which so far 5 people read. *shade* *sideying y'all*)
  • Allegedly the dicks are coming in American Gods. There was none in the premiere episode. Quality production values and good pacing were also nowhere to be found. This episode looked cheap as hell especially comparing to Fuller's other shows like Hannibal and Pushing Daisies. I also do not like the dark color palette one bit. Ian McShane is there so I sat through it but some people are raving about how great that premiere was and I'm just sitting here going 'really?". That said the rant of the drunk widow on the cemetery was fucking golden.
  • Veep was hysterical. The episodes with Minna are the best
  • First look at the cast of the new the Murder on the Orient Express. It's infuriating how everyone is lookign in different direction. The dogs are the best part of the picture, obviously.
  • The Dark Tower trailer dropped. As predicted it looks like trash. But the lines! "I do not kill with my gun, I kill with my heart"-  so awful and so hysterically funny I really laughed out loud while watching this thing. Get out of that contract, Idris and run. 
  • Michael Fassbender threw some epic shade at Hiddles. The entire Internet seems to agree with him. 
  • Hey speaking of, they photoshoped Michael for him to actually look his age and not 20 years older on the marketing stuff from Alien: Covenant whereas he still looks 60 years old in the movie. Brilliant maneuver, FOX. Fucking genius.
  • But there's more because they actually released the chart of all those things the robot Walter can be. Apart from hilarious 'Manny" what the hell is the "adversary". Why would I want to have a robot that is my adversary? Although if for sex stuff this one sounds far more exciting than 'Romantic". 
  • I'll shut up about this now.
  • New trailer for Dunkirk dropped.
  • Two terrible Blade Runner 2049 posters were released ahead of the upcoming trailer which will premiere on Monday. Here's a cool tease.
  • And here's another tease
  • Gosling showed more emotion in trailer tease than in entire Only God Forgives so that's good sign
  • Here's short and spooky trailer for Twin Peaks revival.
  • Josh Gad tweeted the picture of the Penguin so everyone is freaking out. It's DCEU. Of course Josh freaking Gad is gonna be play the Penguin.
  • Here's Tom Hardy and his ridiculously casual attire at Alien: Covenant premiere yesterday. And here's Fassy and Katherine Waterston on the same event:
  • Matthew Vaughn says they already have an idea for Kingsman 3. Please use the one I described in last RF. 
  • and finally...
  • Here's Brad Pitt looking dead-eyed in his first photoshoot since he escaped Azkaban. I highly recommend you guys drop whatever it is you are planning to do after reading this RF and read this GQ style interview with him. It's unreal. Let's just say Brad doesn't sound like the sharpest tool in the shed.
  • And do check out the photos attached to interview, I just assume the photographer was trolling him. Also I'm not sure this photoshoot goes with Pitt's declaration he is not drinking. I too when I am not drinking pose on a sand dune while wearying a pink onesie:
  • It's 7th birthday of MettelRay's blog ad she is doing Volume 2 of her Movie Alphabet blogathon. Courtney already published her entry. 
  • Keith reviews The Fate of the Furious
  • I am counting on Brittani to send some bad vibes Watson's way this Sunday. She goes after her again in her The Circle review.
  • Jordan reviews Get Out
  • m.brown reviews Most Valuable Players and shares his experiences as a teacher.
  • Jay reviews Small Crimes and it looks like Nikolaj Coster-Waldau cannot catch a break.



    1. Ah Hugh Jackman, he's so handsome and way better dressed than all of the ladies at that Met Gala which is now in a WIP list of things I hate about the 21st Century so far...

      Yeah, Evan didn't look good with the eye makeup.

      All of the stuff about the Fyre Festival is fucking hilarious. I don't know why these rich kids are bitching about the shitty food they eat. You know how much a baloney and cheese sandwich w/ mayo and mustard cost me every month. $2.50 for the baloney, $3 for 16 slices of cheese. $2 for a loaf of bread. $1.50 for mustard. $3 for mayo. $12 a month to eat baloney and cheese sandwiches. That's not a bad deal. These kids are crying over sour milk and they get what they deserve for buying the word of vain models, a Kartrashian, and some has-been rapper. So all I can say for them is this... "ha-ha!"

      1. I think they are actually suing over this fiasco and man do I hope it gets to court because it has the potential to be hilarious. I actually saw some of these morons call Themistocles 'fyre festival survivors'. There is no hope for humanity.

    2. That Brad Pitt photo shoot was terrible, I think he doesn't even know what look he was going for. I'm excited for the Murder on the Orient Express reboot, I'm hoping it's good.

      1. Brad looks so confused, it would look playful but he looks so tense it just makes the entire thing awkward

    3. #1 Emma Watson acting hater apparently. Lol

      Hugh is about the only reason I'd watch whatever the fuck cricket is.

      I read your Colossal review!

      Thanks for the link :)

      1. There is actually a footage of the ball hitting him...where he kept touching himself :P

        God I hope Watson loses. I mean if it went to Taraji who is actually great in the role that would be one thing but Watson? No, no.

    4. Why Katy Perry, why? You have a sweet rack. Please don't hide it under a Japanese reboot of the prom dress from Carrie.

      You said something about Alexandra Dadarrio, but I didn't catch it because my laptop instantly flew off my lap. Hmm, I'll have to investigate why this scouring the internet for the best scene in the history of television.

      Shit, now I feel bad. I'm gonna buy the 4k version of Logan rather easily and probably go home and not watch it immediately. I'll let you borrow it...but you have to give it back. Or, well, I'm gonna need that kidney.

      F--king Gad is the penguin? Is this how far we've fallen? They should have got some rad like Paul Giamatti or anyone other than f--king Olaf.

      That shit you said about Brad Pitt made me cry tears of joy. How the Hell does one get talked into that dune pic? He might as well have diving into a pool of his own vomit.

      F--king Jackman. That look on his face after he says 'proud' for the second time is priceless.

      1. "I feel bad. I'm gonna buy the 4k version of Logan rather easily and probably go home and not watch it immediately."

        I hate you with such fierceness right now. I think I'd actually hold the copy of Blu Ray for several minutes when I finally get it.

        Jackman knows the power he has and he abuses it. He did several other things in this interview that were just too much. But he is way too adorable to be mad at how irresponsible the assault with hotness he continuously commits is.

    5. Don't they have like protective cups in cricket, and maybe Hugh just kept coming out of his, hence the adjusting of the cup .... yes, I just typed that sentence, I'm not surprised though, after seeing that gif set, it's been on my mind... a lot.

      I approve Taron's love for Hugh, and his love for Colin. He is so humble and grateful to be in the business and to act next to these amazing men, and it shows and I just want Taron to get more attention and recognition!

      I have yet to go through the MET images of the outfits but the examples here are throwing me off..what was the theme? Couture..? Well, in that case, Rihanna did quite a good job because as far as my project runway knowledge goes, couture is pretty much unwearable and usually uncomfortable - check and check for Rihanna.

      I read one a piece where a project manager who quit the Feyre festival talked about how badly it was all arranged from the start, he ended his story with the fact that the festival didn't even ask him to sign a NDA which made me laugh so hard! It was doomed from the beginning but how in the world could they fuck it up so bad!?!?

      I haven't read the entire GQ article but I heard Pitt kind of admits to drinking too much? I mean, with so many kids, who can blame him. And I always knew I made the right decision being team Jenn back in the day..

      1. OF COURSE! That explains it. It makes sense, it's huge of course it would keep coming out...oh God. They should just lock me up somewhere.

        Taron is so adorable. I still cannot believe Eddie the Eagle didn't get better award traction.

        Theme was this -
        I have no idea what any of this means nor I never heard of this but I know nothing about fashion :)

        It's hilarious. I have no idea whether it was a scam or just incompetence but the fact people actually paid money for this and then acted the way they acted is both funny and worrying.

        Yeah Pitt says he is alcoholic. I think he is exaggerating because if Pitt is one than what the hell does it make Ben Affleck and Johnny Depp? They need to come up with new word for them.

    6. Thanks for Blade Runner 2049 news. I’m going to try and catch original Murder on the Orient Express before remake arrives. Agree The Dark Tower doesn’t look great.
      On twitter, I sent you a trailer for "Score: A Film Music Documentary", feat. Hans Zimmer and Trent Reznor. Maybe docs don’t interest you, but looked worth seeing for fans of film scores:

      1. Shit, I did notice a tweet but my notifications were blowing up so much this week I didn't get to respond to everyone. This looks very interesting, I like Zimmer a lot I don't know why people say his stuff is always identical

    7. I always wonder how you compile these posts, chapeau to a whole week's work! I APPRECIATE IT A LOT!! can't wait for logan to be released, I've been infecting the bf with xmen so I'm gonna take his logan-virginity soon.

      1. Thank you! Yes, it's not a product of me taking shrooms this is actually shit I write sober and all week long.

        Logan-virginity....lovely term :)

    8. The MTV Awards have been a joke for so long, at this point I expect the most obnoxious possible outcome more often than not out of them. I see people commenting on Watson winning that first ever "gender neutral" award, and I'm like, yeah, and if it were ANYONE but MTV, that might actually mean something. But it's not, and it's a fake award show voted on by teeny boppers who wouldn't know quality if it slapped them in the face, so really, it's a 100% meaningless gesture. I mean, I like Emma Watson, but that wasn't a performance even worthy of a nomination, let alone a win.

      I miss the days when MTV was actually popular by more than pre-teens and movies like The Matrix or Lord of the Rings or Terminator 2 or Pulp Fiction used to win. Now it's just whatever the big popular teen movie happens to be. Not to mention the whole idea of including films from various months out of 2 separate years is in and of itself just ridiculous, and only further renders any wins meaningless. The winners are the best of WHICH year, exactly? lol, I can vent about this stupid idiotic awards show for a while, but it's become so bad for so long, I'm honestly shocked that it's even still a thing, somehow.

      Also, hey, I read your Colossal review. Agreed whole heartedly. :P

      1. This whole gender neutral bullshit is so dumb. If every ceremony did that it would bring less accolades to peoplr who in theory deserve that. So instead of awarding 2 in 2 categories just one won. And lets face it Watson just won because she is a chick not because she deserved it. I am not sure Hugh would win in separate categories though SJW crowd made the award smeaningless - Ali won for Moonlight but if tables were turned and he was white and another nominne black this wouldnt happen. And similiarly the guy from Get Out would probably win too. So they can shove their bullshit "it should only be about quality" credo up their ass.

        Still it is nice seeing people who deserve to win win and be applauded like Hugh and Dafne on Sunday

    9. Wait. Are you obsessed with Hugh Jackman?? I couldn't tell until this post. LOL jk, but that first gifset tho...

      OMG WHATTTTTT is Brad Pitt doing looking all twisted and emaciated in the sand???? Boo thang needs a hug.

      1. I think he is trying to show "depth" in "artistic" way

    10. Fun post as always Margaret! I can see you took a lot of time compiling the content for this post :D Funny but another colleague was just telling me how my lead actor looks a bit like Hugh Jackman (he must get that a lot), except he's got blue eyes.

      Ahah, that photo of Pitt made me laugh. Poor guy definitely needs help.

      I just saw Colossal and really enjoyed that too!

      1. I must say I dont see the similarity at all.

        I think some of the celebrities are so far gone they actually think a photoshoot like that is a goood idea. I feel a bit bad for Pitt clearly all that money and fame didnt buy him happiness and the guy is also lacking in personality and wit department severely

    11. Singing, acting and now cricket, is there anything Hugh Jackman can't do?

    12. Hahahaha, cricket. That is actually pretty common in cricket - the balls (that are thrown at the batter!!!) are made out of what is essentially a circular piece of concrete, so the box guys have to wear is big and.. cumbersome.

      I just ruined those photos for you didn't I.

      Wait, no with you I bet I somehow made them better! ;P

      That gifset was so funny. I love the way he just shrugs his shoulders at the end. He is by far our best gift to humanity. I think the dude is pure awesome, having seen him in a few interviews, he seems really really cool and chilled. You know why?

      Cos he's Aussie ;D

      Oh and btw you suck times five!!! Get Out was the shit! :D

      Looking forward to that B&W version of Logan. have you seen the Fury Road version of that? I'm guessing yes, if so, whats it like??

      And as always, thank you kindly for the link :)

      1. Nah, MettelRay already figured it out...but he kept coming out of that box there :D

        Australia should be filled with honor this man.

        Get Out was good but I was expecting something more compelling. I wasn't hugely interested in what was going on but it was well made an very creepy.

        I haven't seen Fury Road Chrome version yet...maybe I'll do the double feature with Logan Noir

        You're very welcome!

    13. Oh my god those Fassbender ads are freaking me out in the best possible way. So excited to see him in that movie. And that cover for Murder on the Orient Express is a trip!

      1. I'll be seeing it tomorrow and I'm sure at the very least Fassbender is great. I never saw him give a bad performance