Friday, May 26, 2017

(289) Lick the clay + links

By sati (harlequinade) Friday, May 26, 2017
  • This right here is Hugh sending fans the kiss on stage during Logan premiere at Tokyo on Wednesday. The thing is that this is right after he left hand imprints in...clay.
  • (James Mangold's reaction is priceless)
  • Yes, boo kangaroo was in Japan this week where he was promoting Logan. There are so many photos and videos I could fill this entire post with them but we have lots to discuss this week - e.g, m.brown drowning in the sea of dongs being led astray to (apparently there is only one) Dong town by Alexandra Daddario during Baywatch - so I'll just feature some of it.
  • Boo boo not dongs, I mean.
  • This is like a video from Cloverfield but those noises there sound exactly like I do whenever I watch Logan.
  • Here he is throwing a shirt, unfortunately not his own.
  • And here are the pictures:
  • Do NOT ask me about my thoughts on this picture with a stick that totally looks like a tiny whip. 
  • Do not do that.
  • Cause I have lots of them. And none of those should be shared.
  • Here he is waving that stick. Mother of God, he is waving that stick.
  • Anyone else just sigh very, very loudly while staring at those pictures?
  • He is so...big -->
  • He's actually 6' 2½" but he just appears taller. Like me next to him I'd be at his elbow level. Well, actually I'd be either on my knees, or unconscious on the floor or being held down like Sean Penn in Mystic River by SWAT or something.
  • Also - he has huge hands.
  • ...
  • ....
  • .....
  • ......
  • I know I was supposed to write about something else here but I've forgotten now.
  • I need to...let's just ,you know...move on. 
  • And stop drooling.
  • But it's HARD because here he is during press conference the following day.
  • What the fuck, tumblr? What the fuck?!
  • Honest trailer for Logan featuring the second biggest Hugh Jackman fangirl in the world - Ryan Reynolds. And excuse me but that urge to nap made for some of the sexiest sounds in the cinematic history. 
  • Here's sir Patrick Stewart living my dream on the set of Logan.
  • And here's Dafne Keen being adorable behind the scenes. I actually watched the entire BluRay "Making of" last night and it was excellent - nearly 80 minutes and they talked in depth about the characters, locations, story etc. And there is so much behind the scenes footage of Hugh and Dafne having fun. I was dying when they were showing Mangold explaining things to them and Hugh was holding Dafne's hand before they were shooting scenes. I just...oh God.
  • Not only was it a hugely informative documentary but it was also so moving - they ended it with Hugh on his last day - that bit was actually released around the premiere and I shared it here - when he was all teary eyed and thanking everyone. That went on a bit longer and they showed Hugh hugging cast and crew members and it was inter cut with cast and crew talking about how much he gave people in this role. It was really lovely and there was a clip of Laura turning the cross inserted in there.
  • What I'm getting at is that I wept like a little bitch.
  • (yes, I made the above gif)
  • Just fuck me up.
  • Oh wait, you've already done that.
  • I gifed my favorite bit from deleted scenes:
  • I wish someone told him that. Because I'm the end of the line here. And I need to see it two more times, soon. Noir version and regular one with director's commentary. I have never ever seen a movie with commentary before but I legitimately want to here - the film is fantastic and also the way it was done is so interesting and it's so clear people who made it really had great vision for it and knew how to translate it on screen.
  • In other news....
  • Hollywood is doing some sort of series of monster flicks with Cruise, Crowe, Depp and Bardem as Frankenstein monster. Something tells me this will not go well.
  • And here's Penelope Cruz as Donatella Versace in American Crime Story.
  • I'm guessing Javier, who is also in new Pirates of the Carribean movie, and her got a new house or something and they need to make the cash money rain.
  • Zack Snyder is no longer directing Justice League. His daughter committed suicide in March and he has stepped down to spend more time with his family. 
  • There are ridiculous articles written all over the web how ashamed people are that they were 'mean' to Snyder and how ashamed people should be. Chain of events - Zack Snyder makes movies, Zack Snyder 's movies get bad reviews, DCEU makes colossal, awful mistakes and becomes a joke.,Snyder is involved in most of their films so he is the face of that joke. In a totally unrelated chain of events his daughter commits suicide. I literally saw some people suggest she did that because her father made a shitty movie and people made fun of him. That is in itself appalling thing to write but that's the today's youth for ya,.The DCEU fanatics will now, till the end of days, say that if you dislike any Zack Snyder movie you have no empathy. Snyder seems like a wonderful, friendly guy who really loves his wife and children and it's horrible that his child passed away especially under such circumstances. But that is completely unrelated to his skills as a director and the quality of his movies. That regular audience cannot set these things apart  is one thing but the professional writers putting out content like that out there is truly pathetic. This is why I don't read what paid critics write. They care about being popular and not pissing off sensitive SJW crowd more than about writing good or at least comprehensible stuff.
  • We have critics shitting all over POTC now and don't tell me they would do so with such glee if Depp, who it is popular to hate these days, wasn't there. 
  • Fortunately Wonder Woman is getting some strong buzz. Apparently it's actually good. I decided I'm gonna drag my tired ass to cinema next Friday after all. You know feminism and girl power and all of that. 
  • And here's Lynda Carter and Gal Gadot at the world premiere yesterday. It does get me a bit misty eyed --->
  • Some theaters are hosting women only screenings and some 'men' cannot deal with that. I don't even know what to say here. It's pathetic.  
  • I haven't had the time to watch Conan's show in ages and it pains me because I love this guy but Gal was there promoting the movie and trained with Conan which was so funny.
  • Baywatch is getting trashed left and right. And yet it has something that the more frequent depiction of which on the screen would level the field between the actors and actresses which also happens to be the only thing that we really should be dealing with in Rambling Friday.
  • I'm of course talking about dicks.
  • That's right. A few entries ago I reported - not the word I should have the right to use - I spread juicy gossip - that's better - that Alexandra Daddario said there are so many dicks in Baywatch. Naturally I immediately informed m.brown - who is currently on probation period because of some heinous things he has done lately - because it's his most anticipated movie. 
  • And what do you know, she didn't lie. Technically.
  • As far as I understand that dick is attached to the corpse, but hey, this is still progress in Hollywood.
  • This nonsense is happening. One can't act, the other cannot do anything successful since her undeserved Oscar win and they are gonna be directed by overrated director. And the subject of the movie..them white men are the worst, right? Let's make a movie about it! It's based on a tweet, people. I hate the world we live in and this ridiculousness right here is the least of the reason why this week, but at least it's trivial enough to feature in this column.
  • In the most obvious news ever Prince George completely stole Pippa Middleton's thunder during her wedding.
  • Ridiculous poster for that new Iron Man Spider-Man movie.
  • It's gonna be 8th time Robert Downey Jr. reprises his role as Tony Stark. But let's face it - he really isn't doing much acting there. I adore Downey and I'm fine with him phoning it in for years now and getting all that money - consider what he has been through and that he actually managed to sort himself out he deserves it. But let's look at Hugh Jackman who 9 times that he played Wolverine was so different than he is in real life - a giant, adorable Australian goofball you just want feed strawberries to and coo over.
  • I don't actually have a bigger point here, I just wanted to write that sentence.
  • This edited video of Trump and the Pope is hysterical. Marcon trolling him was so funny too. What the hell is up with Trump pulling people's hands like that?!
  • We may not be famous. We may not be rich. But at least we don't have problems like this. How does she even take a shit?!
  • Game of Thrones season 7 trailer. I actually haven't found the time or interest to watch it yet.
  • First look at Billie Lourd in American Horror Story 
  • Tom Hardy is raising money to help the victims of the horrific Manchester attack.
  • So I saw Alien: Covenant yesterday. The less is said about this one is better but me being me I already wrote quite a lengthy rant about this, it will have to wait though as I have blogathons to publish on Sunday and Wednesday (and I haven't even written almost anything there yet). I cannot remember the last time I was as embarrassed for a filmmaker as I was during the scene where baby xenomorph imitates what David is doing. Stop, Ridley. Stop.
  • The cast of The Beguiled being adorable in Cannes.
  • Years after Fire Walk With Me was booed in Cannes David Lynch received standing ovation there for the new Twin Peaks. There is nothing I want more than to rewatch the old seasons and start the new but until my vacation in June there is no way I'll find the time.
  • Work has been equally awful this week. I had to come in at 6 am on Monday. But something shocking happened. For the first time ever I heard I did a good job from one of my bosses. I've been working there for 3 years and I never ever heard that from that person before. I spend the next two remaining hours of the work day staring at the door to my office waiting for boo kangaroo to show up and bang me on my desk because this was as likely to happen as me getting praise there.
  • Spoiler alert. 
  • He did not show up.
  • Here are some of my tweets from this week. Yet again I didn't live tweet any movies but I am livetweeting my awesome glamorous life filled with 1. work 2. making gifs 3. writing ridiculous stuff on this website and 4. my dog who may or may not try to kill me. 
  • I mean that's just riveting stuff right there.
  • Allie is pregnant crushing (at least that is an excuse for hormones, I have none) on Dan Stevens and reviews terrific The Guest
  • Jordan shares next chapter of his book
  • MettelRay reviews The Fate of the Furious
  • Brittani got around to see Sleepers for Blindspot series
  • Jay discusses Cinema vs Netflix
  • Dell lists 25 best films of 2015
  • Alex breaks down Alien franchise
  • and finally m.brown reviews Baywatch. The next movie he is watching is the wonderful Eddie the Eagle. There are few things in life that bring me more joy than the awesome blogosphere friends of mine watching movies I love that I know they will love too and have a great time with them.



    1. Keep up with the stuff on Hugh... it is awesome. I like the guy. He's cool.

      This new Universe that Universal Films is doing w/ Russell Crowe, Javier Bardem, the aging weirdo, and overrated midget is going to suck.

      I feel bad for Zack Snyder. I like some of his work. He's not a bad guy. He's doing what is right for himself and his family. That shit is more important than some movie.

      Penelope as Donatella Versace.... SI!!!!!

      All these men bitching about not being able to see Wonder Woman because of a women's only screening are just a bunch of whiny little bitches with sand in their vaginas. Let the ladies have their ladies' night and get rowdy.

      I'm so glad The Beguiled is getting good reviews as well as the reception for the new Twin Peaks. I have it recorded but I need to catch up on the rest of the series, re-watch Fire Walk with Me, do The Missing Pieces, and then the new show.

      I did see a picture of Amy Schumer's tit.... not since seeing Kim Kartrashian's bare-naked fat ass did I go blind for a while.

      1. That new universe thing sounds awful. The Mummy film doesn't look terrible but it will in no way top that leaked trailer with messed up audio where you could clearly hear Cruise's ridiculous screams

        There is so much of Twin Peaks to catch up on. I never saw Fire Walk with Me and The Missing Pieces so I'm gonna need to see them too. Somehow miraculously I'm completely unspoiled as to what is happening in the new show and I hope it stays this way before I see it

        These two are just the worst.

    2. People blaming Snyder's daughter's suicide on his movie making is ridiculous. I haven't ventured in any JL circles since that was announced, but I really hope that's not the majority.

      I disagree about RDJ phoning it in as Iron Man, I think Civil War was his best performance as Tony to date. He was great.

      I have never seen Twin Peaks, I feel so out of the loop when everyone else is talking about it.

      I'm not sure what's funnier, the edited video of DFOTUS and the Pope or the fact that someone blurred out Amy Shumer.

      Thanks for the link!

      1. Well yes in Civil War he actually tried. A little. But these films don't really have stakes, albeit Evans and Downey do the best with their characters, the females are utterly wasted and Renner and co are simply on the screen

        You should totally see Twin Peaks! It's utterly bizarre but surprisingly accessible for Lynch

    3. Pencil me in for NEVER watching Logan with you. I mean, I grew up in Hawai’I – I love Japanese women. Dearly. But not the sound of them in a beartrap.

      “Well, actually I'd be either on my knees, or unconscious on the floor or being held down like Sean Penn in Mystic River by SWAT or something.” There’s a part of this statement that I can’t seem to get beyond. I’ll let you figure which part.

      That Kanye/Kim K. article made me want to throw my laptop threw the window. What the f—k is going on there? Her ass is going to explode, and I’m okay with that. (Did I ever tell you about when her mom gave me a hard time? Pulled the whole ‘do you know who I am?’ bit…)

      Thank you so much for the link. It’s a shame you didn’t like Fass playing orchestra conductor with an angry alien baby as much as I did.

      I don't actually have a bigger point here, I just wanted to write that sentence.

      1. I don't know how this statement could have been clearer. I mean I do but had I wrote that we wold all feel even more filthy.

        What? You met Kris Jenner? And you survived that?

        Fuck that movie, dude. Jesus Christ can Fassbender finally appear in something good?

    4. Excellent content as always Sati, you make blogging fun.

    5. HA I love that line for my link - thank you!
      I'm getting more and more annoyed about the new Spider-Man movie. I have zero problems with it being rebooted AGAIN but that new poster is absolute trash, and after 3 trailers I feel like I've seen the entire movie already. This isn't normal for Marvel!

      1. You're welcome! :) I think I only saw 1 trailer but the amount of Tony Stark they are shoving in there is so annoying

    6. So hyped for Wonder Woman. Really just hope it actually lives up to all that positive buzz.

      Also, I similarly need to probably give Logan Noir a watch. ;)

      1. It was so good. It's not 10/10 but it's so good! hope you liked it!