Friday, June 16, 2017

(292) Eat your stupid pancakes and stop moaning! + links

By sati (harlequinade) Friday, June 16, 2017
  • So I finally gifed the above from Hugh's last appearance on Jimmy's show back when he was promoting Logan and they played that game where Hugh had to lip read what Jimmy is saying. 
  • I have a pick for the word Hugh almost accidentally said there. What starts with "p", is "bad" (to say on TV) and is probably closest to 'Peppermint Patty' which Hugh must have thought of there?
  • ..
  • ....
  • Exactly.
  • Seriously, one of these days he is gonna do something and I will just spontaneously stop living.
  • I have tweeted some porn this week (1,2,3,4) and of course this....
  • ...but if you think I'm bad...and this is all unprovoked fangirl escalation that seems to be getting worse and worse with each week....
  • THIS is what Hugh tweeted on Wednesday. 
  • Listen to the audio there. 
  • I can't. I can't deal.
  • Eat your stupid pancakes and stop moaning!
  • This is so obscene and wonderful...oh God.
  • It's not even the first time he did this to us. The new one is worse though. And when I say "worse" I mean far more...exciting. 
  • ...
  • .......
  • Let's just move on and stop listening to this on the loop.
  • He moaned at those pancakes in London and then he was in Florence (1,2). 
  • While he was in Florence this picture was taken and I just left the Earth for about 5 minutes after I saw it.
  • Then he was back in London for Logan Noir premiere yesterday.
  • (Yep, angels do have the power of teleportation)
  • Here's supercute video of Hugh introducing the movie and Dafne who was also there so yey cute pictures time again:
  • So The Greatest Showman screened....and the initial word is that it's not good. Sure it's just some rumours based on a screening 6 months in advance...but Zac Efron? He is cursed. He is like Armie Hammer. Anything he touches turns to shit, 
  • I knew Hugh being a producer is not necessarily a good sign. He also produced Wolverine Origins. 
  • Oh boo boo. 
  • Oh no.
  • Fox, come on. Push for Logan. Re-release it this winter. Make Showman be a leverage for Hugh to get nomination for Logan, not the other way around. Do it. Just do it. Ryan Reynolds promoted himself and the movie to Golden Globes nominations. And that's Ryan Green Lantern shitty Deadpool in Origins running away from vampire Pomeranian in Blade 3 fucking Reynolds!  This is Hugh Jackman! And Logan is better, serious, there is a narrative. For the love of God just do this.
  • Then later on in the week there were few 'oh I heard it was good' reactions. So who knows. It's just all so fucked already because this would be so easy if Logan simply premiered in the fall and was Hugh's only entry in Oscar race this year. 
  • But if a miracle does happen and Hugh is actually nominated for Logan then me slaughtering goats as sacrifice is not just gonna be running joke in RF,
  • It's gonna be the horrifying reality goats live in.
  • I am very emotional about all of this.
  • Yes, I rewatched Kate & Leopold. As usual here is the selection of twitter madness:
  • That film is such a gift. And as you may recall from my previous livetweet of it - because I know your lives stops whenever I do this and you sit there in anticipation to read this overwhelming wisdom of my tweets - it was also done by James Mangold, the director of Logan. It's part of the porn trilogy, along with The Wolverine. There is no other word for all that riding on a white horse, cutting down trees, wearying reading glasses filth.
  • (I'm about to live tweet X-Men and X2 so may God have mercy on my followers' souls)
  • I think the fact Hugh once peed his pants while performing on stage as Gaston is actually slightly more embarrassing than this story
  • Dali is so sassy!
  • Of course nothing tops Gustav who at one point of the week walked into my room, farted and then promptly got out.
  • This week in let's disguise tragedy as comedy tweets:
  • Also this happened:
  • Educate our youths, please.
  • Somebody did a cool thing and put Wonder Woman crown on the Fearless Girl statue.
  • Evan Rachel Wood and her son are also big fans of Diana
  • Of course while I'm so happy for Wondy I do not let my girl pride overshadow my favorite things in life:
  • Here's the chart ----->
  • Doctor Strange is #3 and Logan is #10. This is just disgraceful. 
  • People magazine has an interview with Gal's make up artist for the film. You know, so that women can recreate her look. Oh yes. Because ALL I need to look just like Gal Gadot is some LIGHT FOUNDATION and CONCEALER.
  • And that's including how she looks in real life posing for cute picture with her husband. 
  • After Wonder Woman women are apparently taking pictures of themselves with swords hidden in their dresses. I do not understand a purpose of this but I look forward to aftermath pictures when any of them sits down, forgets the sword is there and impales her ass on it. Also why do they have swords lying around to take a picture with? What the hell is going on?
  • Chastain is gonna be the villain in next X-Men film. Whatever keeps her away from DCEU where she is a popular fan casting for Ivy is fine by me. I don't want her anywhere near DC, She is more often than not an extremely bland actress and I just can't listen to her opinions so seeing how I read a lot about DC just please stay away from this, woman.
  • Also Turner, Lawrence and Chastain in one movie where there won't be boo kangaroo? I will never ever watch that thing. And God help them if they even dare to mention him in this disaster. 
  • James McAvoy initially instagramed about the movie and included a shout out to Chastain and after that he added this. Ooooh James you got in trouble, gurl. 
  • Further proof that Chris Pine is indeed the best Chris.
  • Elizabeth Banks has done something very unwise this week. Oh, Betty. No. While this was not the smartest move people bringing race into this is just ridiculous. Jesus Christ, she has forgotten about one movie that was made years ago. I'm sure black women are not invisible to Elizabeth Banks. But here come the hysterics. She has since sincerely apologized and I must say that going after someone like Spielberg, even if she worded it terribly, shows balls. Not much brains, but balls. And these matter. Someone like previously mentioned Chastain who simply vaguely states films in Cannes are misogynistic doesn't have them. I'll always respect courage when it comes to women in Hollywood who actually name names, so Banks is someone I respect and Chastain, carefully tiptoeing not to stand on any toes, is not. 
  • Some critic at some publication (I don't read stuff written by those who were paid to write it, I rather read the words of those who love movies and aren't worried about clicks) made some asinine list of top 25 films of 21st Century and now everyone is making their own. 
  • I made one too because I feel there is just not enough praise for The Prestige and Logan in the world. 
  • Oh look, The Fountain is there too.
  • (Lucky thing I don't like Prisoners, huh? I've seen that one on several of those lists)
  • Also Spy is there, yes. Because fuck you, that's why. 
  • Also introducing - my The Prestige is underrated twitter thread rant. This is what happens when I was supposed to be doing my summer cleanse this week but instead had a very big drink. 
  • J-boo dropped some hints about his Blade Runner character amidst his ramblings about strippers and chicken nuggets. I had to read what he said three times. He really is on whole other level, isn't he?
  • The director of next Star Wars episode made a movie called The Book of Henry which is getting truly terrible reviews. When is the last time Naomi Watts made a good movie?
  • The Goat from the Witchas a cameo in It Comes at Night.
  • Scarlett Johansson looked absolutely terrible at Rough Night premiere. This hairstyle and make up is tragic. Now this atrocity is something I can match with light foundation and concealer.
  • The Versace season of American Crime Story is gonna air before the Katrina season. This is excellent news. 
  • I haven't actually get a lot - or anything - done during my vacation. But I did rewatch the entire Twin Peaks and tomorrow for the first time ever I will watch Fire Walk With Me. My God, the second half of season 2 is almost unbearable. I know the show went downhill once Laura's killer was revealed but some of those storylines...James and that blonde who frames him for her husband's murder, Ben Horne going insane, the whole Josie thing...I sincerely hope The Revival is amazing because sitting through the last ten episodes of the show - finale and all the scenes with Lynch as Gordon Cole aside - was a truly awful experience.
  • and finally and this is just so heartwarming and lovely - this is how Wonder Woman is changing the world, one powerful little girl at the time --->
  • Jay really didn't like the new Pirates of the Caribbean movie
  • Allie reviews Baywatch
  • Adrian wrote a great piece about Wonder Woman
  • MettelRay, Brittani and Sonia pick three movies based on real events
  • Dell reviews Ghost in the Shell
  • m.brown reviews Eddie the Eagle. Haha, no. It's now been 3 months that I have been waiting for him to see it and review it. He is also starting his summer break now I will annoy him and relentlessly keep telling him to watch Prisoners and Les Mis. I just really really really want my favorite blogger to review those. This week he reviews Captain Underpants and you should read it as everything he writes.



    1. Those pancakes look pretty good!

      I don't think it will happen, but it would be amazing if Hugh got nominated for Logan.

      Love your Top 25 list because it has Thirst, Killer Joe, In the Loop, Gone Girl, Young Adult, and Spy in it. Love all those movies.

      Thanks for the link love!

      1. They do but does he really have to moan like that? Well bless him for doing that anyways

        In the Loop is seriously one of the most underseen movies ever. And no one ever listens to me when I relentlessly recommend it. Thirst is also so underrated, what a brilliant movie

    2. Pancakes... mmmm....

      I'm happy for all of the love for Wonder Woman. Especially that my fellow Southerner Evan liked it as did her son.

      I like your 25 list although I'm not a fan of Vanilla Sky as I much prefer the original film Abre Los Ojos also starring Penelope.

      I'm still in the process of re-watching Twin Peaks as I'm going to restart my marathon of sorts with the episodes of the 2nd season I haven't watched but with some dread. I still haven't seen the new series.

      1. I think you can just give up on season 2 after they find out who kill Laura and then just watch the finale. The stuff in between is mostly pointless filler

    3. Elizabeth Banks still had a good point even though she slipped up. Look at Spielberg's average. No idea how she forgot The Color Purple but still.

      I'm lol'ing over the women putting their swords in their dresses. When I play lightsabers or pirates with my son, my sword always goes in the back of my clothes.

      I need to make one of those lists too.

      Thanks for the link!

      1. Yeah she did but there are plenty better examples and Spielberg is literally shooting a movie with female lead atm :) No idea why she went after him specifically

        You seem like a cool mom :P And lightsaber seems much safer then whatever the hell these women are doing there

    4. "It's gonna be the horrifying reality goats live in." Holy shit. You just smacked talk every goat on the planet. And you think Banks has got balls? Damn. (sidenote: I think I'm deathly allergic to poison ivy (like, the actual shit...not the character) and f--king goats eat that shit? TLDR: I don't f--kk with goats...and you just called them all out)

      Sorry, I'm really shitting all over your comments today...more than usual perhaps.

      Bringing it back to coherency, I'm all for a Logan re-release. I'll be the first f--ker in line to see that movie again on the big screen. Yes, I could watch it on my television any time I want to...but, I simply can't finish anything at my house anymore. At least not anything rated-R.

      I'm like 75% of the way through Eddie the Eagle, but it's been so f--king long, I'm just going to start the bloody thing over again. Seriously, I don't know what's going on anymore. It's cinema or bust...and even cinema's not really working out anymore.

      Your top 25 is badass. I totally love it. I would consider taking a stab at that, but I like a lot of dumb shit...and it would take me the rest of my life to sort it out. I'd say I'm in for some of them...but why add 'lying' to asshole, you know?

      Thanks, as always, for the link love. I know that basically no one (except a few solid individuals) is ever going to read a (terrible) review of f--king Captain Underpants, but it'll probably be pretty rad for my kid to read a decade from now. Even if I did call his friends 'stinky a-holes'. Oh well. F--k those kids. I think I actually hate some of them.

      But you? You I like.

      1. Well they will need to suffer because I don't think me dancing naked in the moonlight is enough to get that man the Oscar. I have thought this all through.

        What the hell is happening in that house lately? Squirrels again? :D

        I have seen Eddie like 3 times in the last 3 months. The orgasm faking scene I've seen probably around 10. If not more.

        You are getting what 3 months off work? No excuse to avoid movie watching now :P Though in my 9 days off I've seen absolutely nothing without Jackman other than Twin Peaks.

    5. awwww I love people who dance like they don't give a fuck, go Chris <3

    6. I think your top 25 was pretty ace.

    7. Gah I wish we had a UK channel that showed the Jimmy Fallon show! I have to go through such sketchy methods to catch it...!
      There are SO many movies on your Top 25 I haven't it's probably a good job this summer's blockbusters are mostly looking terrible, it gives me an excuse to miss them :P
      Thank you for the link!!

      1. I only watch talk shows these days when someone I like is on, but damn Hugh makes every single one fun. I love that Jimmy has those games he plays with guests, one time he and Hugh were in water fight and good God I almost fainted

        Yes, watch those! They're all awesome movies

    8. Love your top 25 list! Yeah, season two of Twin Peak was quite terrible. I still don't know how I managed to finish it. But at least the new season is good. Well, there's a lot of what the fuck is going on situations, but that's okay, I guess we'll figure things out later on the show.

      Thanks for the link!

      1. Thank you! I saw 3 episodes so far and it's wonderful, reminds me of my favorite Mulholland Drive so much, I too don't know what is happening but Lynch makes it all so fascinating somehow

    9. There's just too much in these monster posts of course! I read it the first time and was like: no. I can't. Too much. So now I'm back but guess what? I read it again and it's still too much! I lurv it all.

    10. Really dug your 25 films of 21st Century list. I agree, I'm more interested in reading stuff by movie lovers, and not just people who get paid to write about movies. Also interesting that Chastain will play an X-Men villain. Curious about that.

      1. Thank you! It's just you cannot trust paid critics anymore. I will never ever believe those people out of their own volition praised Ghostbusters remake. They were just worried they will get called sexist and lose page views

    11. Seriously, the only thing going against Logan at this point is its release date, and the fact that Oscar voters have the shortest memory of any gathering of people. A re-release closer to Oscar season and true push would be very much welcome, but I honestly have a hard time seeing it actually happen. Would love to be proven wrong, however.

      Interesting Top 25 you got there, btw. I might need to look into putting together such a list of my own...

      1. I mean really, 6 months left in the year and I doubt anything will come close. All the Oscar movies don't seem all that thrilling for me and there just seems to be a lot of biopic films coming up which are usually all the same

        You should totally make one of yours!

    12. Is that the same clip with Jimmy Fallon where they arm wrestle? I laughed myself silly at that!

      1. No, no that was years back....this one here is from when he promoted Logan in the spring :)