Friday, June 30, 2017

(294) Pass the trapeze, please + links

By sati (harlequinade) Friday, June 30, 2017
  • You know that scene in The Devil Wears Prada where Meryl Streep witnesses the dress that was made specifically for her character and she pursues her lips in extreme disapproval? The Greatest Showman trailer - or to be more specific the reactions to that trailer from everyone on this planet who is not so horny for Hugh it clouds all judgment and it's like whatever, if he sat on the crapper for 2 hours and sang "What a Feeling" we would still love it - are that dress. And in that laborious and lovely analogy I'm Meryl Streep. Because I'm thinking come December I'm gonna have to grab a shield and a sword and metaphorically No Man's Land the haters while someone ferociously screams "CRAZY GIRL! NO!' in the background. 
  • Oh boo boo. 
  • Oh what have you gotten yourself involved in here.
  • We gonna get to that horror in a moment,. but first the thriller portion of RF.
  • First of all - it's a miracle but I am alive. 
  • Second of all - I know. You only want to know my reaction to this trailer. Like I bet when you saw the news that this trailer dropped you didn't push play first, no the first thing you did was have this thought - holy Christ, Sati gone dead, bruh.
  • I present to you the journey from 1. me finding out the trailer is soon going to be released 2. me finding out the trailer is going to be released this week 3. me finding out on Tuesday that the trailer is gonna be released on Wednesday. 4. me having a breakdown on Wednesday 5. me having an even bigger breakdown after actually seeing the trailer. 6. all of the fucking edits I made in 2 days time featuring the footage from this trailer.
  • And let's keep in mind that musical is absolutely my least favorite genre. But it's boo boo. I'd sit through 10 hour long documentary about diarrhea for this angel. 
  • I think I tweeted at least 30 times about this before the trailer was even released so go look at my twitter and may God have mercy on your soul if you do. 
  • Also this really reads like a thriller, particularly the part with my fight to the DEATH with my phone's battery.
  • The TrapezeTrailer thing was so very cute with Hugh starting and passing the 'trapeze' to Zendaya and then her to Zac and so on and on to all the other cast mates on twitter. 
  • God....
  • ...I wish he passed me his trapeze.
  • ...
  • ....
  • .....
  • But anyways...
  • I hate this music. I know Hugh is over the moon about this and thinks this is like Katy Perry and his daughter will like it and yes, boo boo, love you I'm here with open mouth and all but I listen to Sisters of Mercy or Twin Peaks soundtrack. So this is just not my thing at all.
  • The reactions to the trailer are TERRIBLE. Like literally from the criticism of the trailer alone - that the music sucks, that it looks bland, that the lines are corny and cliche - to the glorification of the guy he is playing - people are hating that trailer.  Someone straight up just wrote "tragique!" as their reaction (which made me laugh so hard). Yes, it's not visually spectacular and yes, the lines are corny but the last part about the glorification of P.T. Burnam...I'm obviously a moron and I'm a European so please educate me but it seems to me that if this man didn't hire all those people in his circus they would never find jobs and probably die a horrible death. Yes, it was awful and an exploitation but by today's standards. The film is not showing modern times, no, it is showing what, early 20th century? I get that it's not the greatest dude to glorify but the thing is that this is just inspired by this story and the story is centered around celebration of those who are different and what is unique in people. So...what is the problem?
  • I am aware the guy did awful things but the film will definitely not show them. My problem here is this - why did they insist on actually having him as P.T. Burnam? Couldn't they just create some random dude? People aren't going to see it because of who this is about but because of who is in it. And if during promo tour someone went 'hey this character is a lot like P.T. Burnam!" they could just say "yeah, we were inspired by his story". I mean if I can come up with a simple solution like that to avoid the backlash then how the hell they didn't?!
  •  I just know that this is not gonna go well. Poor Hugh is gonna be walking around the talk shows and promoting it and really believing he made a great movie like with Pan. He always believes in his movies so much and he is always so proud of them. And this is even worse because he produced this one. His disappointment is gonna be so much worse than my own. I mean I'm probably not even gonna be let down - he looks gorgeous, he is gonna sing and dance and be all charming. That's all I need from literally any movie he is in.
  • I'm surrounded with disappointment in my life so I am just used to it but this guy doesn't deserve it. That project was so long in the making...oh fuck.
  • I so wish Fox decided to re-release Logan in Oscar season. What is wrong with them....first they dumped Eddie the Eagle in the spring, now Logan. TGS is as Oscar bait as a movie can be, sure, but with the proper push the other two could get very far. 
  • This is my set from Eddie the Eagle
  • (NO, BUT LOOK AT HIM!!!)
  • The film I saw 3 times.
  • Last week alone.
  • And here we go: 
  • I think these livetweets are just getting progressively more and more filthy with each week. But I am extra proud of that slope tweet. That was clever (right?), perverse and accurate. The Sati tweets about boo kangaroo trifecta.
  • oh but that's not all because on Sunday I decided to rewatch this awfulness:
  • Hugh landed a new role, in Jason Reitman's next movie. "The Logan star will play politician Gary Hart, who was considered the frontrunner for the 1988 Democratic presidential nomination when his campaign was rocked by revelations of an extramarital affair with Donna Rice. The U.S. senator from Colorado then dropped out of the race."
  • Stop everything,
  • an extramarital affair.
  • So this is definitely getting better reception than TGS.
  • As for our favorite kangaroo he appears to be in Greece at the moment which makes sense because it's an unbearable heatwave here in Europe again this week. Sir, I need you to go back to America. Gustav is lying on the floor in the hallway because it's the coolest place. I'm walking around the house pantslesss. Nobody wants to see that.
  • Maybe Hugh is actually filming Deadpool 2 in Canada but he is posting the pictures from Greece to throw us off....I just want him to have cameo there. Please.
  • The man is literally a saint.
  • Rumour has it  that evil Superman is revealed in next Justice League trailer. I will be 99% surprised if this doesn't happen in the movie and is not revealed in the trailer. Does anyone here actually care about Cavill's Superman? At least if he is evil than that is something new and not just him standing there with constipated look on his face for the third movie.
  • Alden Ehrenreich reportedly got some acting lessons to help him with that trainwreck of Han Solo movie. I don't know what is going on there. He is clearly a very talented dude having stolen the show from much more experienced actors in Hail, Caesar. If anything it's Khaleesi who should be getting acting lessons over there.
  • Hey, speaking of. I don't much care about the upcoming seventh season of fan fiction loosely based on The Song of Ice and Fire but that Time magazine photoshoot and the cover are pretty cool. Also Sansa is not on the cover so that's a big plus.
  • They are making the sequel to The Accountant but for the life of me I cannot figure out why. Surely both Ben and Jon have better tings to do.
  • For m.brown here is some Alexandra Daddario
  • Sean Bean got married for fifth freaking time.
  • Westworld is gonna have a panel at Comic Con next month and Ed Harris is going to be there! This is absolutely surreal. Hopkins will not be there, sadly but nearly the entire cast will. I'm so psyched for Comic Con - this and all the DCEU stuff, rumor has it they may reveal who will playing Catwoman and Ivy.
  • James McAvoy, protect your groin. Taylor Swift who exposed Hiddleston as a massive bitch and ruined Loki for us may appear in next X-Men movie
  • George "save the refugees" Clooney is moving to US because UK is too dangerous now. The hypocrisy is overwhelming.
  • Those rich fucks are just like us!
  • Jason's Statham's kid has arrived
  • I am so tired of hearing about Daniel Day Lewis' pretentious ass retiring and going off to make dresses now. Just go if you must. I can't stand these method actors making everyone around them uncomfortable when it's just boring and not so bizarre it's hysterical like with Leto talking about waxing off his pubes every time he has a movie to promote.
  • Feel old with me today - The Devil Wears Prada is ELEVEN YEARS OLD today.
  • God bless Marvel for releasing the first trailer for their TV series Inhumans which is absolutely awful. Thanks to that The Greatest Showman is not the most hated trailer this week. 
  • Tom Hardy taking adorable selfies and making photo bombs with fans.
  • Lena Dunham is writing a script for Toni Erdmann remake. What a disaster.
  • Veep finale, despite not featuring my favorite Uncle Jeff, was really fantastic and Jonah already has his Presidential campaign website
  • The only movie without Hugh I saw this week was Rough Night and it was...fine. The supporting cast was funny but ScarJo dragged everything down. I mean she is not particularly believable as a human being let alone a funny human being. She wasn't convincing as someone who is in love with Hugh in TWO movies and now this. Just stick to action flicks, woman.
  • I am up to 5 episodes of new Twin Peaks. My time management is absolutely terrible these days. Can someone pay me for perving over Hugh? Because that is so time consuming. I am trying to live my 'life' but it's hard when he exists. Anyways what I saw so far in the show I really love and Johnny Jewel's music is absolute magic.
  • Nathaniel breaks down The Greatest Showman trailer. The comment section is brutal. Everyone loves Hugh but really...I'm readying myself for Pan-disaster again
  • Steven reviews X-Men: Apocalypse aka worth seeing for shirtless Hugh and Fassbender attempting to speak Polish
  • Dell lists top 22 LGBT movies
  • Allie reviews Memories of Murder
  • Chris beautifully trashes the latest Transformers movie...
  • ...while Brittani rips The Beauty and the Beast apart
  • Kevin reviews Baby Driver which I may see on Friday
  • m.brown reviews Cars 3. Girls, let's not kill him for his semi-rant about female-driven movies. He needs to see (and review) Les Mis and Prisoners first.

  • /div> RELATED POSTS:


    1. Thanks for the link-love. I want to like the trailer for The Greatest Showman but what ruined it for me is that awful music. What the fuck was that? Ugh.... that was one of the worst things I had ever heard. Never want to hear that shit again.

      What will it take for Tom Hardy and Hugh Jackman to be in the same movie? I love those photobombs of Tom Hardy.

      Taylor Swift in the next X-Men movie? BYE!

      I have yet to catch up with Twin Peaks as I haven't gotten a chance to see the episodes of the 2nd season that I haven't seen after the reveal of Laura's killer. Yet, I am aghast to see that my favorite band appeared on the last episode and I lost my shit and my clothes.

      1. You're welcome! I really don't know what they were thinking there. At least if Hugh was the one singing the vocals would be overshadowing whatever the lyrics/music were

        Oh that would probably kill me.

        Yes I heard of NiN being there! I think I will catch up to this episode tonight

    2. PT Barnum didn't treat his employees well apparently. There's a lot of shit about him online. The filmmakers should've changed his name. I'm getting Collateral Beauty vibes from that trailer, hopefully the film is better.

      I started reading the Superman paragraph and my mind immediately went to where you finished it lol. Cardboardman will be the same.

      Another reason to not watch the toni erdman remake.

      Thanks for the link!

      1. Well I do hope there is no twist in there somewhere :D unless the twist is that the film is actually erotica with naked Jackman and the trailer duped us. God I hope that happens.

    3. I'm curious about the P.T. Barnum film, but I'm downright excited for the movie where he plays Gary Hart. That should be an interesting film. The Accountant wasn't bad, but definitely doesn't need a sequel.

      Thanks for the link!!!

      1. I just cannot wait for all the scenes of him in the suit giving political speeches. The film can be utter trash but I;m so there for it. Also Reitman doesn't fail too horribly if he does fail so I'm hopeful this will be good.

    4. When that trailer hit I was refreshing my Twitter just so I could see your reaction. I myself was a little underwhelmed because I didn't like the song they chose, I felt like it needed a male voice.. *cough* Hugh *cough* to pull me into it because male singing voices are far more appealing in general.

      And totally get the idea of not giving him the same name! Circus is not a nice word in today's context and I mean, why not make it into a variety show and twist the idea a bit to fit into today's context a bit. Or just changed his name, indeed.

      I've been quite excited about The Accountant sequel to be honest. I thought it was a wonderful movie, especially when it came to the fighting sequences. And I was so surprised about the ending, which was delightful. I'm glad they are making a sequel but there are SO MANY other movies I want a sequel to, like we talked about, Spy needs to get one, and Man from UNCLE in my opinion should get one too! I guess wanting The Italian Job sequel train is long gone so I'm not even waiting for that anymore.

      Did you see Baby Driver already ? I think I'm going to see it with my mom today.

      1. Yeah I like male singing voices too. Thank God all Hugh sings are those musical show tunes if he ever ventured closer to rock or something I'd just stop living.

        I don't know, I don't know what the hell they are doing there. I know Hugh was excited about musical but he is savvy enough not to answer any political questions during events and yet he doesn't realize, as a producer, this can be a problematic person to base a movie on? Boo boo needs better advisers...

        I haven't seen The Accountant because Kendrick just irritates me so much. Ritchie would have been better off making sequel to UNCLE than all the trashfires he is involved in lately

        I'm most likely seeing this on Friday so if I do you'll read it in next RF :)

    5. Yes, PT Barnum did treat his employees bad and people (well, in the US) consider Circuses to be a Bad Thing for how animals are treated (for the most part, besides clowns and trapeze artists---the circus is animals)...Ringling Bros circus just went out of business due to that's probably why you are seeing that commentary. Trust me, even if this movie doesn't do well, Hugh will survive it. He survived Pan. He survived Viva Laughlin, a short lived TV variety show that he produced. Interesting that they selected him to play Gary Hart, I remember that happening and unfortunately Gary was quite the joke at the time...but this will be a very good role for him to play and I would totally see that movie.

      Sean Bean should not allowed to get married anymore. He's the male Elizabeth Taylor.

      I am shocked that Alden Ehrenich (or however his name is spelled) is the one that needed the acting coach and not Emilia Clarke. Though Emilia stepped in it this week by saying sexism is like racism in her Rolling Stone profile.

      1. Well we don't consider circuses here anything awesome either, but it's not really a big thing here in Europe plus we have much bigger problems so if there was a movie like this made here there would probably be few activists screaming bloody murder and everyone else just shrugging. I think in US things are kinda shit too but apparently not that bad if this many people can be this bothered about a trailer for a family movie premiering Christmas Day. Hugh will definitely be fine no one can dislike this guy. I just googled a bit about Hart and this seems like a very good subject for the movie especially given how far the journalists went to 'document' the affair.

        Haha, I never knew about Bean having so many wives before this week. Amazing.

        That comment from Emilia was surreal. I can see what she meant and it wasn't stupid but the fact she just had to bring in racism to it was just so dumb and unnecessary.

    6. Man, I wish I actually watched that The Greatest Showman trailer, but you know, rules is rules. I'm in regardless, but I'm 900% with you in terms of 'loosely' basing on Barnum instead. Avoid the hatred, but still tell a compelling story. Oops.

      W=fsgjnabfkaffb. Thanks for the Alexandra Daddario link. Foolishly, I actually search for stupid shit like baseball scores and box-office results when I could be searching for THAT. My wife and son were flanking I'll I have to investigate further...later (oooh....that sounds creepy, right? F--k it.)

      I honestly don't even care any more, but that Han Solo movie seems like it's totally f--ked. I like Ron Howard, so I'm still on board, but damn. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea in the first place, huh?

      You know, I'm such a bitch, I debated even including my 'semi-rant' about female-driven films. And I was talking to a friend about it and he looked at me like I was an a-hole. Still, I think it's more of a marketing tool than social statement...but maybe it's progress either way. F--k...I don't know.

      Thanks for the link, dearest friend. I appreciate it.

      1. Compelling? We'll see. I'm just there to soil the seat again.

        Nothing sounds creepy to me. This is the safe space :P

        Yeah it was a terrible idea. Not as terrible as when they inevitably decide to reboot Wolverine and I hire a gypsy to curse the entire fucking set.

        It is progress but it's the type of thing that they are just shoving down people's throats. In turn some people may be getting fucking annoyed with because this is a lot and this is everywhere lately. This is just not the way to go. You have to go gentle with dudes, you guys scare easy :D

        You're very welcome! :)

    7. To be honest, I thought the trailer was going well until that music came in. It just trampled on what could have been promising. Who chose that music for the trailer?

    8. That music on the trailer is just terrible! I didn't know they are working on a sequel to The Accountant. Seriously, what's the point? That Toni Erdmann remake is going to suck for sure.

      1. Money is the point :D Though the movie made them about 50-60 mln....I suppose that is enough.

    9. Thanks for the link, Sati! :)

      I dunno, the song choice sucked, but I otherwise didn't mind that TGS trailer? *shrug*

      I'm similarly confused by Alden Ehrenreich getting acting lessons. Even beyond HC, I've seen him in other things too and the guy certainly has the chops. Everything about that Han Solo movie just seems more and more bizarre.

      Taylor Swift in X-Men. Blargh.

      1. You're welcome! :)

        I think it's supposed to be all cutesy etc. There's no way this is worse than Pan so the only thing that is pissing me off is that this didn't take Logan release date and vice versa.

        If Howard manages to make a decent movie out of that mess it's gonna be a remarkable achievement

    10. Why, why WHY is The Accountant getting a sequel?! wasn't the worst movie in the world but that news just made me kind of hate it.
      I somehow didn't know that new trailer was coming, and when I saw it I opened Twitter cos I thought, OMG I know who needs to see this, and well ya...I saw you'd already seen it HAHA!
      Can't wait for your review of it later in the year :D
      Thanks for the link!

      1. If something related to Hugh happens my phone has so many twitter alerts set it vibrates like crazy. The only way I won't see something first is if I am dead or in a coma :P

        This may be an interesting one cause if it's on Les Mis level then I will literally trash the entire thing and praise Hugh like a mad woman - in Les Mis his work was literally the only thing keeping me going, God do I hate that movie

    11. Hi Margaret! Just wanna pop in and say hi. I missed a couple of RF posts but looks like you're still crazy about Hugh, ahah. Well, he was adorable in Eddie The Eagle. I actually haven't seen The Greatest Showman trailer yet but I feel like I have based on your tweets :D

      1. My tweets are better than that trailer, trust me :D

    12. "we all die before hugh jackman bangs us" this tweet is pure gold. if I ever meet you, I'll buy you a drink for that!

    13. Thanks for the link! I hope you got or get to Baby Driver. It's the shit!

      As for this post, your Jackman tweets are fast becoming the stuff of legend. I mean, you've gotten serious on your crushes before, but this is something else. And awesome! As for the Hugh news, I am highly intrigued by the prospect of a him as an American politician in a Jason Reitman movie. That Gary Hart story is really telling about American politics and how it shifted into pop culture and will be huge, especially with what's going on in Washington these days.

      Thank you for the Alexandra Daddario link. That works for me exactly as well as it does M. Brown, I'm sure.


      1. You're welcome! I'm seeing it day after tomorrow :)

        Yes I am definitely getting worse... :P I really hope they actually make this movie, it took 8 years to get Showman from announcement to actually completing it. And Hugh is still terrorizing Europe with his hotness on vacation.

        You guys with your Daddario love :D