Friday, August 4, 2017

(299) Animal Kingdom + links

By Sati. Friday, August 4, 2017
  • Yep. he went to the beach again. 
  • Not once but twice he fixed his shorts in either an act of mercy or terror. I am not sure which. I can't figure it out beause I AM BUSY WIPING OFF MY OWN DROOL. 
  • (is anyone else humming 'Let it go' right now or is it just me?)
  • Oh God.
  • ... 
  • ..... 
  • ....... 
  • He is such a dork.
  • I think I have to go to Australia and protect him from all those animals. Yes, I will die immediately and violently, but I'll die for love, god dammit. 
  • Also there are so many photos of Hugh with animals. I think this isn't just the case of him kinda sorta running into them but they actually flock to him as if he was a Disney princess. He is such an angel and animals are so instinctive so when they see him they just stop and stare at that amazing creature which is clearly superior to everything and everyone. Like when they all bowed before Simba. 
  • I swear to God I am not high right now. 
  • Now this asshole:
  • I so far watched 6 out of 8 episodes of Taboo. The show is beautifully shot and the actors are terrific. Tom Hollander is honestly so underrated and he is such a treasure. He was in one of the funniest scenes in The Thick of It, he is in my #4 movie of all time In the Loop and he was hilarious in About Time. Really whenever this guy shows up somewhere he does something amazing. Jonathan Pryce is also so much fun to watch. The characters are very rich, but it's the story that is lacking, however Hardy is such a goddamn beast of magnetism and charisma his performance alone is enough to make the show interesting. He is so damn unpredictable in every scene that he has. 
  • Here's something for all the ladies reading:
  • Tommy-boo training for Venom. Is it hot here? I feel like it's hot here. 
  • My efforts to hook up PC to my TV are almost successful. Almost because there is only picture but no sound. So I need a new graphics card. And since it's probably hooked to motherboard or wherever those things are hooked to I'm gonna need a new one of those too. I'm just gonna bring it to the service and I'm gonna go like dudes I just wanna watch Logan on my 43 inches, here's money, DO IT
  • I will not rest or stop spending money until I can perv over High Def Hugh.
  • Math is evil and wrong. Gosling? Foxx?? What the fuck?!
  • Teaser for trailer for mother! is finally here. You're probably shocked to see Jennifer Lawrence on the website's header here but I'm super excited for that movie. The last time Aronofsky made a psychological thriller it resulted in my favorite film of all time. And Lawrence is a good actress, it's simply her off screen persona that is violently off putting. Anyways, I just saw the bootleg of the whole teaser (which plays before The Dark Tower and Detroit in US cinemas) and there is only a bit more than here but it's still such a chilling, intense teaser and I just love that shot of Michelle Pfeiffer with Ed Harris behind her.
  • However another trailer is coming soon!
  • This is, according to sources, the only footage we will see before the release date. The marketing finally started and they gave us little but what they did give us is amazing. Also Darren is currently travelling cross-country (and honestly if I were dating JLaw I'd be doing the same thing) and he is posting pictures of abandoned places with the title of the movie superimposed on them on his instagram. He is really into playing mind games with fans and tweets and instagrams so much about the film, it's so awesome seeing a filmmaker being so excited about their project.
  • We also got spectacular second poster for the film, this time with Javier Bardem. Look closely at that globe he is holding. Here are the amazing things hidden in the posters. 
  • The secrecy behind the project is amazing. Paramount even set the release date a whole month sooner because the film will be showed on Venice and Toronto festivals and they don't want there to be a big gap between the festivals and wide release so that people don't get spoiled. Of course here, in the butthole, we are getting the movie in November so there is literally no way I will avoid spoilers. I hate this!
  • Saying Dabid and Dan will handle anything with "care" and "sensitivity" is like saying I will handle anything with "restraint" and "prudery". That is just never going to happen. 
  • This is a serious downgrade from Hugh.
  • Also I hear Universal still wants to do that monsters cinematic universe thing and they want Chaning Tatum to play Van Helsing. If Tatum takes it then he is insane. What man would willingly take the part where he will be constantly compared to Hugh Jackman?!
  • Our first look at Domino in Deadpool 2(notice what she is lying on):
  • So HBO was hacked and is being blackmailed. And today this happened. This is karma for Stoneheart. 
  • I actually haven't seen the latest episode. The next one leaked. I have absolutely no desire to watch those. 
  • Adorable picture of Chris Hemsworth with his three children. 
  • Vanity Fair doing the Lord's work. 
  • Queen Elizabeth allegedly drinks four drinks per day. FOUR. 
  • Christopher Nolan is a straight up a hero now.
  • Also please enjoy this picture from the set of Dunkirk:
  • So to the surprise of no one, The Dark Tower is a disaster. The reviews are terrible - citing the differences from the source material, bad CGI and McConaughey's performance which is apparently so bad some wonder if it was intentional and he simply wants that Razzie. That last part really makes me wanna see the movie. I love Matt and I saw most of his films and so bad they're good performances are so entertaining.
  • Also Matt is a good dude. Here he is finding out we lost Sam Shepard this week, on the red carpet during the premiere. 
  • Two things are really weird to me. Why would Sony only give them 60 mln budget. If they spent more and made a longer movie this could easily be something people went to see just for the effects alone. But even more astounding is that HBO or any other TV network didn't just make a series based on this source material. It just seems like it could have been a huge hit when properly handled. 
  • But you've gotta admire the sheer stupidity and audacity of them dealing with what is apparently an 'unfilmable' and complex book series and just going "fuck it" and throwing 90% of stuff out and simply making a generic, cliched film instead. I feel bad for the fans, but hey, at least you got something. As a fan of Lady Stoneheart I've got fuck all. 
  • They are still pretending they are doing this TV series.
  • I feel so bad for Idris Elba. He was in so many terrible films lately. Why can't they just make him Bond before Daniel Craig inevitably snaps and kills himself and/or everyone on the set with him? 
  • At least thanks to this movie we have all this hotness
  • So Sony now has Emoji Movie and The Dark Tower in theaters. I laugh at that studio because wow, is the film division a disaster - and Baby Driver comes from there so people go 'well at least they have that' ad I go 'in addition to incompetence they released PURE EVIL UPON THE WORLD') 
  • (by the way - haha)
  • But today I realized Tom Hardy-starring Venom is from Sony. Oh noes.
  • You're gonna say but Marvel worked with Sony on Spiderman Homecoming and it's a good movie. But for me, it's not. I saw Homecoming last weekend, the only film I saw in the last 7 days, and it's just another disposable, forgettable drivel. I literally forgot all about that movie few days after I saw it. At that point DCEU and Marvel are a choice between eating something so awful you'll get a diarrhea so explosive it will be hard to forget or a decent meal you shit out and forget you even had. At least diarrhea is memorable.
  • This is so classy. Kinda wish this was 300th entry. Which is next week...:)
  • Naturally m.brown saw The Emoji Movie
  • Dell, Brittani and MettelRay choose movies with crime family theme.
  • Katy writes about Rogue One
  • Alex lists top 15 Movies About America (made by foreign directors)



    1. I liked Spider-Man: Homecoming! It was better than the last 3 Spider-Man films. Plus, Tom Holland is adorable and full of energy and it's got a great supporting cast and doesn't take itself too seriously.

      mother! looks awesome and I want to see it out of support for Aronofsky though the fact that him and J-Law are becoming serious is.... ew!

      Seeing Hemsworth and Jackman with their kids is cute.

      I knew Dark Tower wasn't going to be good. Never trust anyone who is notorious for writing the line "Hi Freeze! I'm Batman!"

      1. The last 3 spiderman movies were awful so the bar was so set so low

        Darren is not...a sane man :)

    2. Thanks for linking my Rogue One review!

      Taboo, Oh I forgot about how much I need that version of Hardy in my life. *waiting impatiently for season 2*

      Poor Matthew finding out about Shepherd on the red carpet. That's just brutal, but he handled it like a class act as always.

      mother! looks interesting. I'm excited for Ed, Domhnall, and Michelle the most. The illustrations for the posters are cool. If you listen closely to the teaser, you can hear a sonogram sound - which makes me think of the fetus-like figure in the globe. It'll be interesting to see what's revealed for the trailer next week.

      1. They haven't shot season 2 yet, right? Come on Tom, get on it!

        Well the longer teaser just has the longer take of Jennifer walking around and two brief shots of the basement. But the 2:02 trailer classified by the British must have more footage, but who knows when it's getting released

    3. I'm glad you liked Taboo more than I did.

      Yaasss for Idris as Bond.

      I'm drunk but I wanted to read.

      Thanks for the link!

      1. Yeah I remember you struggling with it, which is not surprising honestly if one is not hardcore into Hardy it can be hard to sit through

    4. You seem to be a big admirer of Hugh Jackman! :)

    5. The Dark Tower should have been TV series all along.

      I quite liked Idris Elba (and Richard Madden) in Bastille was standard action fare, nothing ground breaking, but it was an entertaining movie. But yeah, Elba needs that movie to transition him to the star he should be.

      HBO got owned by Amazon's announcement of Black America, which was handed way more professionally then the Confederate announcement (and I think HBO rushed that one out because they wanted to beat Amazon to the punch and thought having D&D on it would some make the project immune from criticism. Wrong.) and Black America sounds like a more inventive idea then Confederate and also way less offensive.

      1. D&D's trademark is horrific treatment of women. They are some of the least self-aware, sensitive and clever writers working right now. To give him this is just...hilariously misguided. I'm so glad it is blowing up and they are facing the backlash already. I hope they go through with it because it would definitely end their careers.

    6. Mother looks pretty ace. And what a cast, especially having Michelle Pfeiffer and Ed Harris.

      1. I really hope it lives up to expectations

    7. +1 on The Dark Tower being a series. That sucks so hard that some of King's best and unique stuff, which is quite a feat, is being turned into what sounds like a generic as fuck. Damn. Think I'll save my money, its not out down here yet

      As for Emoji Movie, I have no clue what the hell that is!

      Aronofsky was my favourite director for a long time.... but he really lost me with Noah. The guy is awesome though, I didn't even realise he was making a new film. Christ I live under a rock!

      btw - Sony getting sued for using the shittiest song on the entire soundtrack is HILARIOUS!!!! Thank you so much for that tidbit. And keep on rambling! :D

      1. I haven't even seen Noah. I just don't have interest in Aronofsky doing something outside of psychological thriller genre. Also Emma Watson is there, I just can't stand that one.

        You live in Australia. That's literally God's country.

        I love it. Sue everyone involved in that trash movie.

      2. I agree, lets sue Edgar Wright for unleashing the worst dialogue I can recall in a recent film that was raved about.

        Cop: where are you shot?
        Buddy: *turns over onto his back and shoots the cop

        "Right There"


        And yeah you ain't missing much, Noah is just.... crap. CGI filled crap to boot. But I love his other stuff, especially Pi and Requiem, but pretty much all of them. Looks like he is back in form. Black Swan really was a bloody good movie.... actually now I am reminded of your comparison post between that and Neon Demon, my fave from last year. I need to re-watch Black Swan!!

        I live in God's country? Is that why I need to watch out for fuckin' spiders and snakes constantly? :P

        Trust me, this place is very, very, very overrated. It is the most "casually" racist country on the planet IMO, some of the shit I hear people say almost makes me puke. And they just toss it out there, no qualms about saying disgusting shit.

        Sorry, I had my own ramble there ;D

      3. Oh God yes. That was so 'look how cool he is' moment. Ugh.

        I actually also paired up Swan with Shame and Birdman. It's my all time favorite movie.

        I wouldn't mind snakes and spiders if Hugh was showing me around there :) Also there is no way Australia is more hick and racist than Poland is.

      4. Ugh indeed.

        And of course! I forgot about Hugh! I bet spiders don't even touch him due to his awesomeness. ;P

        I'll have to find that other comparison post. Now that I think about it, I can't believe I have only watched Black Swan once, yet have watched Pi and Requiem at least 20 times each!

        <-- is a dipshit

    8. I'd argue that even as an actor, Jennifer Lawrence is highly overrated. I still think her performance in SLP was fucking over-acting garbage, and her worst to date at that. Sadly though, as a result of that win, she's channeled that shit-tier level of over-acting into almost everything she's done since, which sucks, because the few times I've actually found her to be good (or even tolerable) have been when she's actually a lot more subdued in her role. The movie itself sucks, but I'd argue her best performance in a movie by far is in Mockingjay Part 2.

      Still interested in that movie because of Aronofsky, though, even if it does look it's gonna be yet another cringe-inducing Jennifer Lawrence over-acting session. :P

      As far as The Dark Tower is concerned, sure, it's generic, but it's a far cry from the trainwreck it's being made out to be. I feel like people comparing it to the likes of Suicide Squad and The Last Airbender haven't actually SEEN those movies, but are basing those comparisons purely on their reputation. Because had they actually seen them, they'd see how ridiculous those claims actually are, as well as be acquainted with what an ACTUAL terrible movie actually looks like. Those people seriously need to get over themselves. The Dark Tower is mediocre, but by no stretch of the imagination is it a fucking dumpster fire the likes of which those movies are.

      (Oh, and I'm pretty much always humming "Let It Go", lol... >_> )

      1. MmockingJay part 2....was that the one where she yelled at the cat that was in a sink? That's literally the only thing I remember from that movie

        It actually looks like she is playing very timid character until shit hits the fan whatever that shit may be

        I think the embarrassing thing is the money and the runtime the studio forced on the filmmakers. It's ridiculous to think they can do this with 60mln and in 100 minutes. So that was just stupidity at the inception of it

      2. I reckon the only time I have liked Jennifer in a movie was American Hustle. And I think that is only because I thought the rest of the movie was absurd, but she stole most scenes she was in. Not hard though with Bale on cruise-mode.

      3. She was really fun in that movie. I actually really liked Bale there but imho Renner stole the show

      4. Lol Renner was in that movie? Lord my memory really is awful!! JLaw was great though. Bale was okay but it kinda felt like he hid behind his costume a bit too much and didn't give it his all. Of course that is a four year old opinion though!

      5. Yeah I also only saw it once. Adams was such a clothes hanger in that one, I am too lazy to check but she probably also score a nomination for doing absolutely nothing again

    9. Oh man, Hugh, work it!

      I'm curious to see Mother as well. I mean, all that behind the scenes stuff is making me wonder if he can deliver an amazing movie. I hope he can, it looks interesting and nowadays it's so hard to keep things a secret.. especially when you have Lawrence starring and she talks about EVERYTHING. I agree with you, she can act, so I have no doubt the movie will be well acted.

      I kind of wish The Dark Tower didn't suck because I want Idris to do well! He is such a nice man and actor and it's just shit that they race bended the role and now the movie sucks. I'm going to read the books before I ever watch the movie, if I'll watch the movie..l

      Thanks for the link!

      PS: Can't wait to see what you have in store for the 300th RF post.. I'm slowly approaching 1000 posts in all on my blog and I'm still trying hard to think of something to do instead of listing 1000 things. :D :D

      1. She is on the cover on next month's Vogue and she does say a lot of stuff about her life and hobbies etc. Oh God I just read so much stupid shit just to find out a bit more about the movie

        300th is not looking great so far, it's mostly just mother! ramblings. Don't even have a juicy pervy Hugh metaphor/allegory yet

    10. Thanks for the link! I am so damn excited for mother! I watched the teaser but don't want to know much more beyond that. Looks bonkers in all the best ways. And I love that behind the scenes pic of Dunkirk.

      1. You're welcome! I'm so excited. Aronofsky is amazing when making movies like that and the cast is insane

    11. I saw Detroit last night. With my wife. Meaning? WE WERE LATE. Walked in just as the Mother trailer was ending. I still haven't seen it, and now I'm basically salivating. But like Hugh and his/your 43 inches...I need to see it in all its glory. F--k my laptop.

      Man, I think you and me are setting this shit on fire, you know? Like actual shit is burning due to some glorious descriptions as of late. Dead donkey dicks have nothing on that diarrhea analogy at the end. But it was the less nasty Simba reference that I loved the most. HJ really completes the circle of life, apparently.

      Thanks for the link to that giant turd! I appreciate it.

      (oh, and it looks like I might miss The Dark Tower...barely)

      1. Holy shit, what a shame! Your wife's reaction to that trailer would be seriously amazing I'm sure of it!

        It's poetry, that's what it its.

        NOOOOO!!!! How will we know if it's just aggressively mediocre or one of the worst things ever!? I think McConaughey may have his own portals of garbage in that one.