Friday, August 25, 2017

(302) 5 minutes in Heaven + links

By sati (harlequinade) Friday, August 25, 2017
  • Well I did watch Butter on Friday and believe it or not it was only marginally less awful than Pan. It took more than 45 minutes for boo boo to show up. Oh but when he was eventful.
  • Hugh's appearance which must have been 5 minutes tops included him wearing cowboy hat, speaking in what I imagine was supposed to be southern accent and I have no idea if he pulled it off but my God did it sound cute, banging a woman against the blinds and though we didn't see much we heard a lot and then him sitting in the car and talking about how tight that woman's pussy was.
  • What follows is obviously my edit:
  • Good Lord.
  • I am certain baby unicorns were born in Heaven out of my feels alone.
  • (also the film featured insanely catchy song)
  • In all of the movie's history a single actor has not been utilized as well in his short screen time as he was here. The only improvement would be him undressing and petting a dog. Also he was so funny!
  • And he is so adorable.
  • God I just want to feed him and pet him gently.
  • Yes, I am aware he is not a bunny.
  • Actually he is, though.
  • It's a good thing I saw this movie because that was probably the last bit of happiness I had in last week. The situation with Gustav got so serious we had to call the vet on Sunday to come to our house. It's clear now that he won't live as long as other Yorkies unless a miracle happens. All that we can do is giving him injections and medication so that he doesn't feel uncomfortable and doesn't suffocate. He was fine this week, knock on wood, but it's all taking one day at the time. I actually had to change the desktop picture on my office computer because I had a photo of him there and every time I saw it I started breaking down at work. He is the happiest, smartest dog and probably the only living thing in this world that loves me. It's really hard to even describe all of it and I don't want to depress anyone reading it so I should just stop.
  • So here is Hugh being super hot in NYC this week.
  • We have the cast list for that movie where he plays Gary Hart and Vera Farmiga is going to play his wife!
  • You probably thought there was no way to do that but they actually took mother!/Rosemary's Baby poster rip off even further
  • New TV spot for the movie.
  • A journalist who saw the film says it's probably more alarming than Jennifer Connelly's final scenes in Requiem for a Dream. Dude...
  • I finally started catching up with Twin Peaks. The kid being hit with the car in part 6 has gotta be one of the most upsetting things I've seen this year. Jesus. The second the scene became sweet and serene and then they showed the car I just knew Lynch is gonna have to shit on everyone souls because why not.
  • But anyways...what the hell was episode 8?!
  • You've gotta give Lynch credit for what an incredible director is. Everyone always lauds him as such a great author of surreal sequences and that is true - he is amazing at that - but really he pulls off the unnerving or the hilarious just as well. I couldn't stop laughing when Candie smacked Robert Knepper's character with the TV remote and when this happened:
  • People are slowly stopping excusing the shit writing in Game of Thrones. The fanboy rage is hilarious - IGN gave the last episode 6/10 and there's boycott or something happening because how can it be when the show is "well written"!
  • Sandor throwing rocks at deadly enemy in catastrophic situation! Arya and Sansa outbtiching each other because stupid filler! Sansa sending Brienne away even though previous scene establishes Brienne could help Sansa! Sandor freaking out pathetically not once but twice during fight! The Night King throwing a spear at the moving dragon instead of the one sitting on his ass closer to him! FUCK ME!
  • This however was some serious stuff:
  • Kit Harington is not THAT good of an actor (and he is practically the opposite of my type - short, young and I'm not calling that fluff on his face facial hair) yet the way he looked at her in this scene made even me a bit weak in the knees. I imagine Rose Leslie, his real-life girlfriend who played Ygritte on the show, threw a plate at him after watching this episode.
  • I also loved the banter between Sandor and Tormund. And here's the actors having fun on the set.
  • Jonsa fandom is insane.
  • Seriously.
  • You can listen to the season 7 soundtrack here
  • Meanwhile George R.R. Martin says he doesn't have the time to watch the show anymore when he is watching more TV series than even Mettel does.
  • You know what the biggest fail of this season is? The absence of Ghost. Where the fuck is Ghost?! This is just so ridiculous!
  • Idris Elba walks on crutches now. It was probably a sex-related injury.
  • Here's Margot Robbie as Elizabeth I on the set of that movie they are doing with Saoirse Ronan. People are like oh my God they made her ugly with make up! In truth while pretty people should realize she also needs make up to look gorgeous.
  • First tease for season 4 of Black Mirror.
  • New trailer for Blade Runner 2049.
  • Opening credits for AHS: Cult. And the trailer with Evan Peters' character humping the TV set as it's announced that Trump was elected.
  • Another horrible idea from WB regarding DC movies. And then there's yet another horrible idea.
  • This right here is the exclusive footage of what is happening in WB headquarters --->
  • I still think Aquaman will be good but this news coming so soon to Justice League premiere just tells me it must be one horrible movie for the studio to have so little faith in it. There are theories this was announced to cover the disgusting news about Joss Whedon from last week and as usual it didn't work and this news actually generated new waves of shit. In the last few days while glancing at twitter feed I saw several headlines about what a horrible and 'depressing' idea it is. Meanwhile, Whedon thing is a ticking time bomb and I'm sure in the coming days some starlet from one of his shows will speak up. 
  • and finally James Cameron, a pig and someone who almost killed Ed Harris had this to say about Wonder Woman. Patty Jenkins responded with this. I hope his small dick fell off. I also hope the next time he is at the bottom of the ocean a female dolphin bitchslaps him. 
  • Brittani reviews A Ghost Story
  • MettelRay reviews Dunkirk
  • KG rightfully disliked Baby Driver while Katy liked it but at least she didn't give it a perfect score like so many of you did which made me question if you guys are on some hard drugs.
  • Dell reviews Spider-Man: Homecoming
  • Sonia reviews Unforgettable
  • m.brown reviews The Dark Tower
  • and finally m.brown also blessed us with Butter review in which he references my pure and sane love in such a sweet way. He is my favorite blogger so it's always such a glee not only when he publishes something new but also to be referenced in his review, written by someone I consider an awesome writer and a super funny person. To hell with those kids he teaches, the blogosphere needs his dedication and talents more!



    1. James Cameron calls out Wonder Woman being unfeminist by basically being a misogynist. Go to hell, dude. Patty had a lot more composure than I would've had.

      I'm so sorry to hear about Gustav, and I'll be sending him positive vibes. It's so difficult when our furry loved ones are sick. When my dog Lola became ill really out of nowhere, it was so hard to handle. I know exactly what you're going through. *hugs*

      Thanks for linking my review! <3

      1. I love the fact Cameron is getting ripped apart on social media because of his comments

        Thank you so much for your kind words :* I really hope the medication will continue working, thank God we finally seem to have find a vet who knows what she is doing

      2. I'm happy you found a vet and hope she is exactly what Gustav needs to get better. We had to go through two vets before we found one who knew what he was doing too. Now every time I drive by the other ones, I give the finger but make sure karma knows it's for the doctors, not the pets inside. One should know not to mess with a girl and her pup. :D

      3. Oh God we must have gone through 5 or 6 right now. Hopefully this one's treatment will work in long run

    2. For dissing Wonder Woman, James Cameron needs to be kicked in the nuts right now and I hope Patty Jenkins and Gal Gadot gets to do that.

    3. I'm sorry about Gustav. I hope he gets better :( don't feel bad about breaking down at work. I did that over my dog once too.

      I'm so bitter about Ghost not being in this season. Bullshit.

      Joss goes over to DC then gets drama. Lawd they can't catch a non Wonder Woman break.

      Thanks for the link!

      1. I break down at work all the time actually, it's pretty depressing job as it is and now there's just so much bad happening too

        What the fuck with this really, couldn't they give them a bit more money for that? It's so stupid!

        Every week there's new DC drama. It's just comical at that point

    4. Hey, we love you sati! =]

      That is so sad to hear about Gustav. I don't know what I'd do without my Brutus, he is my son. Wishing you both the best of luck.

      But now you have a reason to ditch GoT! Its awful! Watch Twin Peaks instead! >:]

      It truly is the most warped thing ever to be put on television.
      I'll never heard the words "Got a light?" in the same way ever again.

      And yes it seems your perving has reached new limits. No judgement here! Just... you know, sayin... =P

      Again, best of luck with Gustav.

      1. Oww, thank you :)

        I am watching both but thank God Thrones is over. Once Twin Peaks is I'm gonna go back to Narcos, I'm still on season 1. I liked what I saw so far but I only seem to have time for 2 shows at the time.

      2. Narcos is one of maaaany shows I need to catch up on. There must be at least ten by now, hell I still haven't finished the latest season of Fargo.

        Waiting till Peaks finishes is a good idea. It is unlike any other TV show ever - its essentially an 18 hour long movie. No cliff-hangars or "LAST WEEK ON..." sorta stuff.

        Give Gustav a hug from me =]

      3. I haven't even started the latest season of Fargo :)

        It's so good. I am gonna watch finale on my birthday which seems like a gift from the universe on this crappy day.

        Will do :P

    5. all the happy puppy thoughts for gustav! speaking of puppy.. well, you already know that jon snow makes me dream about vegetables. my brain is entertaining at least. hope you have a lovely weekend!

    6. My brother keeps telling me I simply must watch Game of Thrones. And seeing your enthusiasm has me wanting to.

      1. I think you need to re-read my paragraphs there. I hate watch the show these days.

      2. I was referring to your enthusiasm in the past as well for the show. I take it the show has gone down a bit for you then. In another note, your line about Elba made me laugh.

      3. Ah yeah, it used to be fantastic in first four seasons, then it was really bad in season 5, then it got a bit better in season 6 and now it's just horribly paced because they are rushing towards conclusion. So I would not recommend it because it starts great and it's disappointing how downhill it went

    7. Sati, I am so very sorry about Gustav. I cried over my dog at work. Pets are family. Wishing you and him all the best.

      I root for Dany and Jorah (because who in their right mind picks Jon over Jorah) but I harbor no delusion about them being endgame. Jonsa fans are about to be seriously disappointed.

      James Cameron is an ass.

      Yes, this season of GoT has been high on spectacle and low on logic/good writing.

      1. Thank you so much! :*

        Seriously choosing Jon over Jorah is insane. With this casting at least, Jorah is supposed to be unattractive in the books and they went and got a dude with this much charisma and an insanely sexy voice

    8. Aw, shit. That's terrible news about your pup. I'll be thinking about that adorable little goofball.

      Butter. I really don't know how/why that film exists, but I was stoked that you (ultimately?) liked it. I think we can both agree Boys needs his own spin-off, possibly on the vast fringes of the shitstorm that is the DCEU.

      And I'm not sure why anyone listens to Cameron any more, as that dude took his finger off the pulse of what's going on in cinema years ago...and stuck it up his ass.

      Thank you so much for the link and the kind words. Your support has kept my site going way past its expiration date. I will always appreciate it, and hope to still crack you up for a couple more years. At least.

      1. Boyd spin-off idea sounds wonderful. He could have his own comedy/porn series. I am till laughing at him sneaking in at night to destroy that butter thing and going 'oh you already know're awesome, God'.

    9. Those gifs...with your gifs...amazing. Though, I will say him naked petting a dog sounds like a very different movie. Too different.

      Cameron is an idiot.

      DC is such a mess, Whedon included.

      Sorry to hear about Gustav. I hope he gets better.

      Thanks for the link!

      1. I'm surprised since it's already Wednesday and there doesn't seem to be any horrific DC news this week. But they still have 4 days to fuck up something new.