Justice League

So here we go, my review of Justice League, list-style.

THE GOOD:
- The beginning of the film was terrific. Let me just say that neither me nor any of the people with me in our group of horny females noticed any CGI on Cavill anywhere in the movie. I was even looking for it and none of it looked bad or fake to me. I am not lying, I had plenty of problems with the film but really it looked like Cavill to me. I have good eyesight, I wasn't drunk. It genuinely looked like Cavill looking normal to me.
- I really liked Elfman's score particularly the whimsical music accompanying Flash's action scenes. Sure the score wasn't noticeable or memorable other than that theme but hey, neither are the scores in MCU or X-Men for me.
- The interrogation scene with Batman was BEAUTIFULLY shot. That shot of him waiting for the robber was outstanding
- Wonder Woman saving the people in the bank was magical stuff, the bullets bouncing off her bracelets. Terrific.

- Affleck was great in the role, very funny lines. It's not the green screen that was distracting on the big screen but him looking different was noticeable. Still, he had amazing chemistry with others particularly with Momoa. The questioning about how he talks to the fish and him walking away all sheepish and Momoa just shaking his head in the background was a very funny and subtle gag. I'd like Ben to play the role again because he does it so well but all the drama behind the scenes with him will I won't I is tired, unnecessary and disrespectful to cast, crew and fans.

- I have subtitles here in Poland but after Flash does the thing and hands WW her sword they did translate whatever he said as the F word, I don't think it was actually the F word he said but that hilarious. I am a big fan of swearing in English language so Aquaman calling Gotham 'this shithole' got a huge laugh from me.
- The characters interactions were terrific. There were few lovely and well written scenes such as Diana and Bruce talking and sharing a drink, all the scenes with Alfred and Barry's lines. Irons was underused again but my God does he rock the role

- The History Lesson reminded me of Fellowship of the Ring prologue so I guess that it is compliment for it. It was very nicely done with good effects. I like that it wasn't longer, it didn't need to be.
- I liked Red Skies sequence, as I suspected it looked great on the big screen.
- The effects during Flash actions scenes were amazing.
- I was incredibly impressed with the League vs Superman in DAYLIGHT. It looked fantastic and that's hard to do when it's bright all around. Flash and Supes glances got a big laugh from the audience 

- I loved Wonder Woman calling him his name. 

- Billy Curdup was great as Barry's dad. That felt very genuine and it made me care for both of them unlike for Cyborg and his dad. These scenes weren't bad but they were kinda boring.

- Every single Flash scene was met with enthusiasm from the audience. Ezra Miller is extremely gifted. When he was making funny expressions people at the audience where pointing to the screen to make their friends look at where he was because what he was doing was so funny. A lovely performance. I'd watch the hell out of his solo film.
- And finally Henry Cavill. I always say he is a good looking (maybe the reason I didn't notice CGI is that he is so perfect looking he already looks like CGI), wonderful guy but I never thought he was a gifted actor. I liked his work on The Tudors and The Man from UNCLE (I think that was the title of that film) but....look. Let me preface this by saying Snyder is a lovely, ambitious guy with great eye for visuals. But Superman fans have every right to feel ROBBED. Cavill doesn't have the chops to carry MoS/BvS serious/deconstructing stuff. But my God. From the moment he absolutely sold that corny fan of justice line to the end of mid credits the man outdid Gadot in her solo in terms of portraying hopeful, kind, heroic character. I don't think anyone is dethroning this guy in 'best performance in 20 minutes of screen time' in my end of the year list. I was absolutely enchanted. It's such a shame that he didn't get to do this from the start because ultimately the direction Snyder took this universe in screwed Cavill, us and the franchise. I truly hope he gets to play the part again because he deserves his own WW solo movie levels of awesome. Ezra was stealing the movie for me but when Cavill said he is curious about who wins the race in mid-credits he emerged a victor for me.
- The ending shirt rip, fantastic!
- Jesse Eisenberg was great in the post credits scene. He was better than in the entire BvS.

THE BAD:
- The opening montage was great but the 'I tried' next to homeless guy made everyone in the theater laugh.
-The Atlantis scene was NOT good and it broke my heart. I don't understand - it looked so much better in trailers with all the vibrant blue, here it was desaturated and looked horribly ugly.

- Steppenwolf was easily the WORST thing in this movie, though there is tough competition with Lois Lane. He was going on about "mother", what is he Darren Aronofsky????
- ATROCIOUS CGI of that dude too. One of the worst I've seen. I think it was because they made his scenes brighter in the final cut and it ultimately made the CGI look so bad.

-Not only did it look bad but there was absolutely no synch between the movement of his lips and the audio

- Steppenwollf's lines' about "making them love him" have me considering suing Jason. WHAT DID YOU MADE ME LISTEN TO?

- Almost everything with Lois was tragic!!!! Other than the nice scene with Diane Lane and her. Her lines with Superman were some of the worst things I've ever heard. You smell nice. I was embarrassed. The people in the cinema were laughing out loud and I cannot blame them.

- Another thing that had people laughing was the resurrection scene. When Aquaman was lowering him in the water there were loud comments about how dumb it was. It really was but me and my friends didn't care. The one next to me went 'I'd let him drown me'. I just nodded.
- The plot with the mother boxes was so dumb even for 'silly background plot excuse to watch our heroes be badass' plot standard. This is the third in trilogy. They should have been setting this up from the start even if they would do it as clumsily as Avengers is with that infinity stones or whatever stuff.

- The background in the end. It was yellow in the trailers and it looked gorgeous, in the movie it was just normal sky

- The effects during Steppenwolf's attack on Amazons were horrible. Video game stuff.

- So Russia is occupied by one family? Russia is one big fucking field with shitty buildings and one family living in it? Why did we see them before the final act? Waste of time.

- At one point of the movie, can't remember which I thought it stopped DEAD and I was hoping anything will follow it but Cyborg scene...and it followed it with Cyborg scene.
- That scene with SW interrogating hostages took me right to Enchantress and her brother for some reason. Again SW CGI was awful. I had violent flashbacks to Jon Snow shooting Mace Ryder with arrow out of mercy
- This is my problem with all 3 of Snyder Superman films - why do you force Diane Lane to age herself? It's gross.
- As much as I liked WW calling Supes his name the delivery of "Kal-el, no" sounded like she caught her chihuahua named Kal-el pissing on the rag and was directing that line at her in that moment

- The episodic nature of the movie at first was at first jarring but then started to feel like turning pages of the comic and worked. But it's baffling when it comes to construction of this movie. I don't know where the time went but somehow Aquaman still didn't feel properly introduced and the characters didn't spend nearly enough time with each other
- Yet again WB cut a whole bunch of scenes and yet again they put that in the marketing anyways. I just can't. I really really hope given that James Wan made them so much money they won't dare to mess with him on Aquaman solo. I'll protect this movie. I swear I will protect the copy of this film. I am tiny so I hope it's on a flash drive. I'll hide it in my bra or something.

WHAT?

- The scene were they are discussing resurrecting Superman. I was OK with the whole notion coming out of nowhere because hey the world is ending so let's try. Also it gave Gadot nice moment when she shoved Bruce after he mentioned Steve. But what on Earth was up with Aquaman going 'when you die, you lose something'. What is this? Did Nicole Kidman get him to watch Practical Magic on the set of Aquaman and him clearly being my soul mate loved it and is quoting it? It was so out of the blue.

- Why was Simmons working out so much during the shoot? He has 2 scenes. I don't even remember them well

- Pervy thought alert - so when WW saves boo and they hide under rocks...what happened there? ^^

OH,  JASON!:
- I was extremely disappointed most of Aquaman's scenes are in the trailers. Look me and my gals still had good time there and loved every moment but the problem is we saw 80% of it in the promo material. There were some nice bits that weren't in promos 'he isn't right....BUT HE ISN'T RIGHT!!!!!' and I think him stealing something in Bruce's cave (it was such a quick editing cut I can't be sure) but not enough. The lasso scene didn't go as well as I hoped. Jason was selling it but the lines weren't good enough. It could have been so much funnier. It would also work much better if we saw more of him being a grump. It was too soon for a gag like that after he was on the screen for maybe 10 minutes. Beautiful 10 minutes. Divine 10 minutes. But only 10 minutes nonetheless.

- That said the sexiest thing all year for me was seeing Jackman break a shotgun in half on his knee in Logan. That may be dethroned now. Momoa jumping on that rock, waves splashing behind him, him saving that dude, drinking that shot, IT'S ON HIM while he is all wet, and then walking in freaking slow mo drinking the entire bottle of whiskey while Icky Thump blasted in the speakers....Jason, when God created you to bring happiness to women...he overdid it. I think the time actually slowed down while I was watching that.
- Heard was extremely impressive delivering sassy, tough character in such short screentime. Lovely chemistry with Momoa, I can just see them bickering and driving each other insane while falling in love in Aquaman. And then ripping off their clothes and a sex scene....in freaking PG-13 movie. James, I have faith in you.
- all the growling, yeah! etc. Oh man. How am I still alive?
- I loved that grumpy/caring Loganesque duality he had going on when he nonchalantly went oh you got hit pretty bad...are you all right?

- But Good God I hope the underwater scenes will look better in Wan's movie, I am so disappointed - this was what I was looking for the most and the effects and horrible grey look of it was so bad. What made it worse is that if you have shirtless Momoa in the foreground you better have something beautiful in the background, the ugly trash one will stand out more in these circumstances
- But LORD ALMIGHTY that shot of him right after he says he needs something. Gasps. Gasps in the audience.  Even with that background behind him I literally went like this:


THE I WILL FIND YOU AND YOU WILL PAY FOR THIS:
- What kind of a sick fuck removes this? Or this? Or this? Or THIS?! Or this?! I wake up screaming and punching the wall like Uma Thurman in Kill Bill 2 because of them removing this. I imagine when WB execs are sleeping they have nightmares of me standing outside their window in the rain, palms pressed on the glass, mascara running down my face and me screaming "YOU CUT JASON'S SCENES OUT OF THE MOVIE....YOU BASTARDS!

Given the magnificent end scene this felt like 'we are here to correct things' movie. And I hope it happens. The cast is there, perfect playing their parts. The chemistry is already there. All they need is better director (Wan is there!), time to prepare and good story. I want to see them again interacting on screen. It felt like a giant tease of great potential that people there aren't using. It's a fun film and hopefully when they make more films with these guys playing these heroes years from now it will feel like a beginning of something awesome.

But stay out of James Wan's editing room. Just stay out of it.

34/100