Friday, December 1, 2017

(315) *grunts softly* + links

By sati (harlequinade) Friday, December 1, 2017
  • I cannot stress how bad this week's RF is gonna get.
  • You'll gonna need a shower.
  • And I'm gonna need a lawyer, probably.
  • And we all are going to need an exorcist.
  • I warned you. And then Mettel killed me. But now I'm back and it's too late to save any of us.
  • Welcome to what will probably be the focus of my trial.
  • I have two things in my defense: 1. Mettel perved too! 2. It's like Netflix went inside my heard and made two sexy shows with what constitutes my type - tall? strong? dark hair? abhors it when women get hurt? really gentle towards girls but kills bad guys with his bare hands? super sexy voice with lots of growling, grunting and panting? sweet towards kids? carries weapons? Scars? Blood?
  • I can only deduce Netflix wants me dead.
  • Also since that's my type I fully expect getting murdered one day.
  • You know how there is this thing about how when women work in one place their cycles sync up? I have observed a far greater lady parts-related phenomenon this week. 
  • I call it...synchronised perving.
  • And it's not the proximity that causes it.
  • It's Jon fucking Bernthal.
  • There are plenty of girls in our charming blogosphere and they all, to some degree fangirl over this or that actor. No one fangirls quite like me (cause they are not insane) but they do that a little bit. However I've never seen reactions like this guy got. Even Jason Momoa thanks to Brittani (smh, girl!) doesn't get the unanimous metaphorical throwing of the underwear at his face. But Bertnhal? Every single chick who watches The Punisher wants one thing and one thing only:
  • Seriously my tweets during The Punisher and Daredevil 2, which I'm of course rewatching this week, have gotta be some sort of a record even for me:
  • Don't ask me what I meant by 'smoke on my roof''. Whatever it was, and I really don't know what it was, it's definitely something very filthy.
  • The guy apparently broke his nose 14 times. How on earth did this happen so many times? Did a girl start running, jumped and landed on his face, lady parts first?
  • I can imagine that scenario.
  • Vividly.
  • What makes everything so much worse is that not only does he play unbelievably sexy dude but the guy himself is fucking LEGIT:
  • This is serious.
  • And what makes it more serious is that usually I perv alone and you all probably just politely nod along while you are reading it, wondering if the situation finally reached the point so critical that you need to call for help. But this time other people are perving too which is...spurring me on?
  • *that yelling of his when he is killing people...AM I RIGHT, GIRLS?!*
  • I also recalled him bringing his dogs to a talk show once (it's amazing. THAT I remember. THAT I remember, but every single month I forget to pay the phone bill on time) and I just spread this filth on twitter.
  • Look at how peaceful the dogs are. So peaceful that the people in the comment section there are asking if they are even alive.
  • But come on... if I were lying there I'd be obedient too.
  • ...
  • ......
  • .........
  • ..............
  • *grunts softly*
  • Anyways....
  • Let us pause for a second before I vibrate off this chair just editing this post. The show is awesome. I wasn't a big fan of the whole back story for the kid who was traumatized by war but other than that it's so well done and incredibly acted. Also the opening credits music is amazing, as is the selection of songs throughout the series. Random music thought.
  • Also everything about that elevator scene episode (1,2,3). I was almost on the floor.
  • Right now, since I needed MORE, I am rewatching Daredevil 2 and I'm just shocked this guy didn't get Emmy nomination, hell, a win. They nominate JDM for Negan, the part where he smiles like a fucking asshole and leans like a moron, and they don't nominate this guy?! I rewatched the episode with the monologue on the cemetery last night and I wept like a little bitch for 10 minutes.
  • The Punisher is even better, though. Not that the rest of actors are bad, they do well but this guy single-handedly carries the show. You can't take your eyes off him. Also between him dancing, drinking wine, grunting softly, saying stuff like "Goddammit, didn't your father tell you not to hurt women?!", rescuing chicks and calling a little girl 'sweetheart', I'm genuinely surprised that I am able to even semi-coherently express myself here.
  • Of course I am doing the usual and I'm gonna sit through this guy's films. I watched The Accountant yesterday (livetweet) which was just so mediocre and boring. Affleck has so few assets and here he couldn't even try and emote because of the character he was playing. And by the way that character was so boring. I have absolutely no idea how this is getting the sequel. And I knew Affleck is gonna ruin my view.
  • Today I'm gonna watch Sweet Virginia. There's apparently a scene where Jon goes down on a woman.
  • I really HOPE that this kills me. 
  • No, I actually DO.
  • I *heard* that record scratch from Estonia over here, by the way.
  • Mettel wants to see Wind River and I want her to because it's a great film and Jon is shirtless and has a beard, but I've gotta say since I saw that film it had a bad effect on me. I know "triggering" is a ridiculous word but it applies here. I didn't expect a flashback scene. I've been through some things that will never resurface here because this is a happy place where real issues don't happen. We are here to look at handsome actors and gossip about celebrities. The scene with Jon starts like a dream and ends up being the worst nightmare, a nightmare all too familiar for many. I still cannot forget that scene and it is probably the most disturbing thing I've seen that brought way too much to the surface. I'd never go see this film if I knew the actual footage of the crime at the core of the film would be shown. It's not like me not wanting to see pets hurt. It's me reliving things that I can't relive. I was so upset watching it, so shook up, but I couldn't get up and leave because I was frozen. The idea, the very idea that not even someone like that can protect you is too much to bare. The idea that someone like that could protect you is all to hold on to. This is, on deeper level why we all, no matter if something happened to us or didn't happen, respond so strongly to The Punisher. It's not about the violence, or grunting, or handsome actor being shirtless. It's about someone granting women two things we so rarely get - respect and justice. It's probably the most timely film of the year and hopefully it will not disappear in Oscar race just because of who distributed it
  • So. Let's lighten it up and get on the right silly, silly trajectory. I bet you're thinking that this concludes the pervy part of RF.
  • No, no. There is a certain demigod who is not letting me move on to actual news part of this mess yet.
  • The one. 
  • The only. 
  • MomoWOAH.
  • Here's my livetweet of the first four episodes of second season 2 of Frontier.
  • During the remaining two of the season I was just making random noises.
  • God, this show. This:
  • followed by this:
  • I don't even know what to say here. And I am so rarely speechless.
  • However bad it was with you gals watching The me it was way worse with me watching Frontier.
  • He actually says the words "sometimes you gotta take the rough with the smooth".
  • If I were Katie McGarth in that scene with him I'd be on the floor breathless. 
  • What a shame they didn't have more scenes together, her character sadly got murdered.
  • I can't believe that cool lady died before she got to have sex with Jason. 
  • Incidentally that line above is what I will put on my tombstone.
  • I'm serious. Throw it right at me. 
  • This gif is pure magic. 
  • Sonic boom? It's the sound of the ovaries exploding. 
  • This is amazing!
  • So remember when Jason partied hard with GoT cast in Belfast a couple of weeks ago? Well, he has this to say about the final season. Also linking it for the picture there. 
  • Stunning artwork for Aquaman.
  • And now for the weekly DC fans are suffering coverage....
  • ...more and more info is coming to light about how badly the toilet exploded over at WB when it comes to DCEU. Oh and it exploded. And shit went everywhere. And now my Savage Boo needs to mop up this shit. 
  • WB execs and the CEO are so fucking dumb, inept and reprehensible they have made not one but TWO impossible things happen - the first film about Justice League is a flop AND the people who hate Zack Snyder and the people who love him are finally in agreement over something - and that is that people in charge of WB are just the worst.
  • Signsignsign! Also some of the guys I know launched an initiative to show the support for Henry Cavill as Superman so please take a moment and sign the petition. 
  • Yes, I know Infinity War trailer is here. But since Punishing Boo is not there I am not too interested. Rudd and Ruffalo are in this so I'm there but I'm definitely not too excited about this film.
  • Tom Hardy has an instagram now so we are all going to die. 
  • I haven't watched it yet but here is Boo Kangaroo and Willen Dafoe whole Actors on Actors interview. 
  • First HUGE win for Logan in the road to Oscars. NBR chose it as one of the year's best films. Of course the whole thing is invalidated by the inclusion of Baby Driver. I will need to rewatch it...and by that I mean only Jon's scenes. And then take out the disc and burn it.
  • Ridley Scott's way of not giving a fuck is one of the most impressive things I've seen in my entire life.
  • Meanwhile on the heels of us learning that Cameron wants to kill children just like he tried to kill Ed Harris, he goes and he says this
  • This is so funny and adorable
  • I'm not sure if amidst all the fever recently I mentioned that, but Jennifer Lawrence and Darren Aronofsky are no more. Yeah, source claims that age gap was an issue. No, no. One of them is an intelligent and educated adult. The other watches Kardashians and talks about her asshole on talk shows. Who would've thunk these two won't mix, huh?
  • Armie Hammer doesn't really have thick skin, does he?
  • The only things that are dead are Depp's cut off finger and liver. Look at him. Still getting A list jobs, being defended by his directors while Amber would be nowhere if she didn't have the amazing luck of being cast as DCEU's luckiest female character.
  • Amber should just have asked her co-star to deal with Johnny 9 Digits. The issue would truly be dead then.
  • Speaking of Depp, and I cannot believe I forgot to mention this mess last week, but Manson has new song out which is actually pretty cool. However it is tainted by this music video featuring Depp banging chicks. 
  • It's like...garbage banging on top of garbage.
  • Brittani reviews Justice League
  • Mettel pervs hard abut Jon and I'm so proud of her!
  • Sonia lists her favorite female performances in 2017
  • Katy wrote about Infinity War trailer
  • Alex continues sharing secrets of making of his movie Wait
  • Courtney and Kevin review Lady Bird
  • Jordan writes about Under the Skin
  • Chris reviews Coco
  • and finally m.brown's review of Justice League is here



    1. I knew the Aronofsky-J-Law relationship was going to last. I bet some brain cells were killed because of her.

      I'm not interesting in watching anything involving Manson. He's a fucking has-been that cares more about drugs and trying to shock rather than make interesting music. Plus, Johnny Depp is just a dinosaur now.

      1. Also he probably caught something.

        Those music videos are pathetic but he still makes some catchy tunes

    2. So much perving, so little time! It really didn't take long or any effort by me to convince you how hot Bernthal is. XD God, I still have to watch The Punisher. I'm on such a dryspell with shows and books, it's ridiculous. But this might just be what I needed. I've had his movies on a to-watch list forever too. Definitely check out Grudge Match. Not only because it was filmed in my hometown, but he looks amazing...I've been tossing the idea of watching Wind River back and forth. The violence has been an issue 'cause I just don't know if I'll come back from it. :/

      Have I mentioned that I saw Jon in person several years ago? He was at a convention with The Walking Dead when it was just starting out. He was amazing as always. *still dreams of that day*

      If I hear about the f-ing board from Titanic one more time.....

      OMG, you're right. Tom Hardy has an Instagram and we're all gonna die. Love that his profile description is Face Puller. lol

      Thanks for the link love!

      1. I firmly believe every single person needs to watch The Punisher. Especially women :)

        I WILL CHECK OUT EVERYTHING lol Wind River is incredibly disturbing

        Wait what? oh my God!!!!! and you made it out alive? :P

    3. Lord, I do love your Rambling Fridays. My husband started watching The Punisher. Sounds like I need to join the party.

    4. I haven't started on The Punisher, yet. Now, I'm kinda scared too. I mean, I'm not sure if I can afford Mrs. Dell watching this, lol.

      Yay for Logan!

      1. I'd say maybe he is not her type but I observed he is literally everyone's type lol

    5. "Synchronised perving" I love it. It's weird, I never found Bernthal hot when I was watching TWD but as soon as I saw him as the Punisher everything changed.

      Jeffrey Dean Morgan did NOT get an Emmy nom for Negan, thank God. It was a critic's choice nom, I believe.

      He did a really cute interview with Melissa McBride last year that I love. I need to find that.

      Thanks for the link!

      1. Oh man I've gotta start fact checking my award info here I was thinking that he actually got an Emmy nomination for his leaning :P

    6. This is really a coincedence, but I'm pretty sure you'll like my Jon Bernthal post I published today :)

      Finished watching The Punisher last week and what an amazing show. Really cool actor. Also liked him in Me and Earl and the Dying Girl.

      1. I didn't like that Me and Earl movie but he was great in that!

    7. that video with the dogs is brilliant, the comments: "he needs to close his legs!!" haha. happy friday, sati!

      1. He is definitely not sitting like a gentleman there :P

    8. Who did Tom Hardy have to kill to get that username. DOES JON HAVE INSTAGRAM??

      I don't think I can say another word about Bernthal. I need some distance. For my health.

      1. Instagram probably did it for him :P YEP :P

        I really think I just accidentally killed Mettel on twitter.

    9. "if I were lying there I'd be obedient too" damn are you a mind reader now? Btw have you read the comments under that video?

      "WooooooooooooooW!!!!!!!!!!!! DELICIOUS! There's something really big in his pants!!!!" I AM DYING

      Jon really needs to get a nomination. And then he's gotta win.

      I've been meaning to watch Wind River but I'm not so sure anymore.

      Are they still talking about that Titanic thing?! JESUS!

      Thanks for the link!

      1. I'm reading them now, I didn't even notice that situation going on there lol!!!!!

        Wind River is definitely a great film but it's just too heavy. That one scene is so disturbing, the rest of the film isn't but that one scene was enough to really make it into incredibly difficult viewing

        I'm about to watch Fury now :P


      1. I really hope they get some serious awards love!

    11. I LOVED that Ridley Scott interview. Man gives no fucks. Also love that NBR gave Logan some love.

      I'm definitely watching Punisher now. I've always loved Jon Bernthal's work, and the fact that he is carrying a show is amazing.

      Thanks so much for the link! Fun fact: Micah Parker, the star of Wait, co-starred with Bernthal in Mob City. Micah said he was such a nice, down to Earth guy (the same cannot be said for Frank Darabont. Wow, the stories).

      1. His performance there is incredible. He was the highlight of Daredevil 2 and his scenes there really brought me to tears and now they explored his character further in this show. It's fantastic, some complain it feels a bit more like 24 than The Punisher but the level of violence in the show, particularly in the last two episodes really makes that complaint seem odd to me. There is also this one episode that is very layered and presents the events in flashbacks that is just brilliantly constructed

        Wow that is so cool! Yeah the guy really looks like a very nice person, hopefully he gets the recognition he deserves because he always delivers such fantastic work

    12. Hahaha, let me recover...

      'smoke on my roof' already had me laughing but I didn't know why. Then I read what you said next and lost it. Bahahaha. being insane can fun, can't it? Sometimes it really, really sucks, but other times its awesome! =P

      Re- Wind River, I really appreciate you sharing your perspective. I need to rewatch that movie asap, the severity of that scene didn't hit me as hard as perhaps it should have.

      Oh, and The Accountant is so fuckin bad huh! Not only is Affleck amazingly shit but it literally features a fuckin MATHS MONTAGE!!

      1. I really don't understand how Accountant made enough money to warrant a sequel

    13. "You know how there is this thing about how when women work in one place their cycles sync up? I have observed a far greater lady parts-related phenomenon this week. " - that's like the best way to describe this whole Twitter madness we have going on. I love it! I think it's like mutually affecting our lives for the better and worse at the same time. Like, it's not healthy to have so much filth on Twitter but at the same time, it keeps me alive throughout work. So I don't want it to stop is what I'm saying.

      God, that interview with the dogs, I cannot.. I just.. I have a 21' inch screen and I full screened it and it's just... right in my face. There's got to be a single woman behind that camera fanning herself with a clipboard and silently moaning to herself an unable to speak because that's the only way I believe the fact that nobody in their right minds thought to tell Jon that angle is unhealthy and will probably kill somebody.. me.. it will kill me. I need a drink before I watch that hour long interview!

      I still need to watch Sweet Virginia, maybe today or tomorrow. And I also want to watch Wind River despite the fact that so many of you have pretty much warned me. I'm now curious but also scared..

      Will try to live-tweet Sweet Virginia if I can function properly. :D

      Thank you for the link! And let the perving continue! :D

      1. You couldn't stop it even if you wanted to :P

        I haven't been able to see the whole thing yet. The dogs. That shameless way he is sitting in whilst I think sincerely not being aware everyone can see IT. This is too much. In more ways than one.

        I think the second there is a knock at the door or someone walks in the room he is in you should shut it off. I wish I did.

    14. Thanks for the link!

      That Ridley Scott interview is sorta amazing.

      Nice to see Logan getting recognized. Get Out is getting a lot of recognition despite its similarly early release date, so hopefully Logan will continue to gain some steam as well.

      And I suppose I'm gonna have to go ahead and get started with The Punisher, aren't I? :P

      1. Well this is not gonna come off well but Get Out has a better chance...because of you message. This already puts it ahead of Logan even though it had such rich themes there but they weren't as baity as in Get Out

        Oh yes you do :P

    15. You know I read this basically minutes after you tweet the link, but I've been sitting on my response for days.

      But this is a happy place, and I won't do anything to ruin that. Ever. All I want to say is thank you for the link.

      And that you are like family to me.

      (Except, you know, I actually like you...and we get along)

    16. I'm very interested in checking The Punisher now. I must thank you for always suggesting great movies and television to watch.