Friday, December 22, 2017

(318) Come here, trigger-happy flyboy + links

By sati (harlequinade) Friday, December 22, 2017
  • Merry Christmas, everyone!!!
  • Let us perv.
  • Mob City really came close to killing me this week (livetweet).
  • Seriously, girls you need to see Mob City. He is either in a suit or in a coat. He carries big guns. He smokes. He protects women. He is interrogating people. It's almost as porny as The Punisher, all that is missing is fixing garbage disposals. 
  • He hasn't shushed anyone yet which may be the only reason why I'm still alive. I have one episode left. God one knows what happens there.
  • I watched Show me a Hero. I was going to anyways since Jon is in it, but since Oscar Isaac saved me from slipping into a coma during The Last Jedi I owed him. Livetweet highlights:
  • Yeah. Cause this is what lawyers look like. Sure. God if they did I'd be so happy to go to work. 
  • I really liked the show. I had no idea what it was about but it was very entertaining to watch. The cast was great and Isaac's performance was very good, no wonder he won Golden Globe for it. Boo wasn't in it enough but when he was on the screen...oh!
  • Would you look how cute?!
  • What kind of Clark Kent-superhot-cosplay bullshit is happening here?!
  • I'm sorry I'm back to my initial assessment on how he broke that nose 14 times. That story that it happened when he was boxing or playing football? No, sir. I don't believe you.
  • Run. 
  • Jump. 
  • Right on that face.
  • ...
  • ......
  • ........
  • So anyways....
  • I also watched Snitch. Well, most of Snitch anyways. I have so little time in the evenings and I have to go to bed early (I wake up at 5 AM) so I basically watch movies in parts. Also one has to watch stuff with Jon carefully. He will literally bang your brains out with his hotness.
  • Case and point - me.
  • Oh man...
  • The entire week I was working like crazy. There was actually even more work this week than before. Here are my tweets that capture the nightmare - 1,2
  • Still managed to look OK-ish and even did my hair today. That's my new dress there. I have 16 days off now so hopefully amidst all the perving I will have time to organize my closet. I literally kept wearing new things I bought that arrived this week because I have no idea how to find anything in that mess.
  • Anyways, this week, every day after I finally had time to go pee and make coffee I checked twitter. And one day I saw this - 1,2,3
  • BAM! All focus gone for the rest of the day. 
  • I've been grateful for the fact this was an extremely busy month. It's Christmas and I'm so lonely. I wasn't this lonely last year, or the one before. I had my friend with me and now he is gone. You know I can't even write these things without completely unraveling....let's just look at a handsome man being shirtless:
  • Last week I forgot to link that car sex scene from The Walking Dead. Well, the beginning of the sex scene, because AMC didn't show more. These godless heathens. Rick walking around like an asshole for long periods of time, that they show. But this they don't?!
  • Oh fuck you, Rick, you killed boo boo.
  • I have to ask - what the hell is going on with so many girls freaking out about that scene where Kylo Ren was shirtless?! His pants were up to his tits! What was that all about?! He looked like one of those dudes from dance groups in the 80's. I thought he was about to do a routine to death metal cover of Dancing Queen. 
  • Also we just saw shirtless Savage boo in Justice League and shirtless Punishing boo in The Punisher. That was the God-tier of shirtlessness. You should be still thinking about that.
  • For shame, girls!
  • And this is just ungodly. 
  • So here I was waiting for Hardy in The Last Jedi and it turns out his scene was cut. Every day a new awful thing Rian Johnson has done resurfaces. 
  • 1,2 I think Carrie was lucky. She went first, not him. I envy that. 
  • J.J. Abrams gonna be like.
  • Look at how Kennedy cuts Hamill off. Also this. It's just saddening to watch.
  • Why are they wasting Oscar Isaac's face like that?!
  • Yes, speaking of....
  • So there I was during The Last Jedi forced to make a call. I either slip into a coma and never wake up OR I stare intensely at this man coming up with elaborate ways to bang him in Star Wars universe, knowing full well it has 99% chance of leading to me to spend most of my Christmas break on watching movies with him and horrifying all you poor people with tweets and RF's content.
  • Yep, this is exactly what happened.
  • I think it was few days ago when it hit me. I was looking for the gif of him delivering that ignite the fire line, which was honest to God one of the finest line deliveries in last few years. In my head I went God, sir, you ignite MY fire
  • Instantly, I swiveled away on my chair from computer.
  • I looked all around me in panic.
  • And I just went: 
  • oh, no.
  • In my defense...holy fuck that's a good looking man.
  • Seriously, I keep trying to type about him but I keep fainting.
  • Oh no. He is LEGIT
  • And he has such long....eyelashes. Eyelashes, you perverts.
  • Not even this...:
  • ....calms my ovaries down.
  • I know it's gonna sound impossible but I did not write parts about Poe here
  • I am about to watch In Secret. Yet again, I fell through the hole.
  • This is such cringe. You know what this reminds me of? That episode of South Park where these anti-smoking kids performed in school and horrified the kids that they will be like them if they don't smoke so the next scene was a cut to the main four smoking. The 'yeah, we did it!' moment at the end there is exactly the same. I really cannot go see this movie. Looking at all this cutesy stuff would seriously kill me. 
  • So has Bondi beach been declared the most important place in Australia yet? Because by now it really should have been.
  • I watched Logan Lucky this week because I was in the mood for something light and amusing and that is exactly what I've got. I had no idea if these accents were awful or awesome all I know is that I absolutely loved listening to all those actors. I know you crazies need it so here is the gif of your Kylo:
  • Driver was really hilarious in that movie. Straight up the funniest scene was the way he ended up in jail, it was so well shot and acted. It's such a short and simple scene but it was so funny. Craig was also terrific and it was awesome seeing him being so different to his James Bond mode. The film was extremely well cast and just a delight. And I love David Holmes' music so the score as well as the selection of songs was so cool. Can't recommend it enough. Very pleasant movie. 
  • Also that one song was in Kingsman 2, Trashfire: Covenant and Logan Lucky. What the hell?!
  • Ocean's 8 trailer. Well, there is lots to talk about here. First of all as usual men have problems. And as usual they are loud about it. And as usual it's very serious stuff.  Just look at the comment section on youtube. Yes, how dare they make a movie in Hollywood with women for women to enjoy? How dare they do a spin-off to a movie with practically all male cast (and that movie is not even some great cinematic classic)? 
  • How dare us bitches want any joy, huh? 
  • Oh gosh. First we don't want to be harassed, assaulted and raped, and now Hollywood is making movies for us to enjoy. Are we fucking crazy? Have we lost our minds? We make life so difficult for all those poor men. Gosh darn it, they are gonna see this trailer when they go see the movies. 120 seconds of this. The horror! The dread! 
  • Will the poor things survive? 
  • Or will their dicks fall off? 
  • If they will I can't imagine these "men" would notice, it's not like something so small hitting the floor could actually make a sound.
  • The amount of bitching I saw from all these assholes. Like, why do you care? And more importantly - how do you not have enough fucking shame or sense to just shut your goddamn mouth but instead you just have to go insulting women in the movie, women in the audience, women everywhere? I really wish every single keyboard had some sort of a paddle that could just jump out of it and whack these morons right in the dick every single time they write misogynistic bullshit online. 
  • SHUT THE FUCK UP. There are more of us than there are of you. And we don't care what you think.
  • Second of all, I'm torn here. On one hand I wanna support movies like this and I should go see it. On another I read Matt Damon has cameo in it and I ain't paying for anything containing that piece of shit in it.
  • But if they remove his cameo I will absolutely see it for Richard Armitage and Cate Blanchett's outfits alone.
  • There is already a petition to do just that so please sign it. Let's end this motherfucker.
  • I cannot fucking believe he is STILL TALKING. I will literally punch my TV the next time this asshole's face happens to be there when I am flipping through channels. Is he ill? is he drunk? Is he retarded? Was he burying a hooker on a desert with Affleck and she woke up and hit him with a shovel and he is having a concussion? 
  • We don't even need to look hard for the female equivalent of Damon. Behold the recent antics of Winslet
  • Jessica Chastain's expression was the best. Honestly I have came to really like her recently. She is doing things I'd be doing if I were in her place.
  • Ah, Meryl. You hypocrite. I must have imagined her standing up and applauding Polanski. Nope. It happened. Take Winslet with you and shut up.
  • This is what SAG is doing to honor the ladies. Hopefully the Globes will do something too. I think it's in poor taste they are having a guy host it, though.
  • Sam Rockwell is hosting SNL on January 13th! This is gonna be fantastic.
  • Look at the responses this clown is getting
  • I HAVE to see Statham punch that shark now.
  • And finally again, Merry Christmas to all of you. May it be filled with love and companionship, may you spend it with your friends, families and pets. May the Santa bring you all the gifts you want. I'll just be here. Tweeting inappropriately. Having as merry of a time as I can have.
  • Brittani , Courtney, Katy and m.brown reviews The Last Jedi
  • MettelRay and Dell share their list of movies they are looking forward to in 2018
  • Sonia reviews Wind River
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    1. Thanks for linking my review! I'm surprised I managed to get it up in time for RF. :D

      I can't believe I gave up on Mob City when it first aired!!!!! If only I knew what I was in for....HEY, I love Shane/Jon, but don't come after Rick/Andrew dude. *gets into Neville Longbottom worthy fighting stance* MY BOYS

      I can't believe Tom Hardy was cut from Last Jedi - WTF. Rian Johnson is why we can't have nice things.

      'his pants were up to his tits' LOL I didn't freak out about it but I was surprised Adam actually has abs. So far I haven't been able to find Adam attractive outside of that one TedTalk he gave and Kylo though, so I don't know what kind of fangirl that makes me. I definitely have to see Logan Lucky.

      *inserts Christian Bale confused face* for the Great Showman live commercial

      Oscar Isaac really has something going for him. He's making that sweater work like Ryan Gosling usually does.

      Omg, that meme is perfect!!

      Merry Christmas, Margaret! I hope you have a pervtastic holiday, and wishing you all the best for 2018. :D

      1. One of your boys killed one of my boys! That's just unacceptable :P

        Cutting Hardy out of a movie should be illegal, what the hell?!

        He is very sweet in Logan Lucky. I could kinda see why girls would go for that guy but for people to freak out about his abs when we just saw Bernthal's and Momoa's is bizarre lol

        Oscar is just *sighs* *sweats* *bites lip*

    2. Ohhh I like that dress!

      I hope you enjoy In Secret. I liked it lol.

      All these bros bitching about Ocean's 8 make me laugh. The original Ocean movies weren't even good to begin with (imo) so why are they getting their panties in a twist again?

      Oh yeah. Micropenis.

      Thanks for the link!

      1. HAHAHA!!! That must be the answer to men acting idiotic like that.

      2. Thank you!

        Yes, it's a very enjoyable movie :P

        Seems like a lot of men out there suffer from that... :)

    3. Ohhhh man you always crack me up =] I have lost track of your crushes!! Ovaries are now orbiting the moon, ha I had to laugh out loud at that one!! Same with the Isaac comment. I'll need to read your review of Star Wars, I can't be fucked seeing it. Zero interest.

      Show Me a Hero is great eh? I watched it just cos I love Isaac, need to watch it again. If you are gonna watch his movies, watch Inside Lleweyn Davis (sp) from 2013. It really is an amazing performance. Incredible.

      Oceans 8 is something I really don't get. But what I do agree with is men are arseholes, and they are loud about it. I honestly don't understand their headspace.

      And I can answer your question: Matt Damon is indeed retarded. I can't believe that he still going on about it. Amazing. It kinda says a lot about him.

      I can identify with being lonely at Christmas sati, it has been that way for a long time. Same with NYE. I just sit at home and drink. I really hope you have a good holiday period despite feeling that way.

      BTW you look great in that photo!! Love the outfit. =]

      1. Yeah I wanna see ILD, he looks so pretty there. I heard the movie is boring and he is playing an asshole but I'm sure I am gonna enjoy watching it

        I don't look great, I look puffy :) But thank you for saying that :)

      2. ahhh you are too hard on yourself sati! I thought you looked great, and I am not one to blow smoke up peoples' butts. You looked hot!! =]

        ILD is incredible. He plays an arsehole but a flawed and somewhat likeable arsehole hehe. And the crazy thing is, he played guitar AND sung every song in the movie!!! I mean, how is that for versatility eh! You gotta watch it just to hear his signing voice, its simply amazing. Needless to say, the OST for the film just amazing.... if you like old folk music hehe =P

      3. Thank you :)

        I didn't actually find his character to be an asshole he was just disenchanted by life. I related to that. Really liked the movie a lot, it was very interesting how it was structured. His voice is indeed extremely beautiful...oh :)

    4. I might go see Ocean's 8. After all, I hope it's good enough for a sequel with Julia Roberts and Catherine Zeta-Jones reprising their roles from the franchise with Roberts telling Clooney to stay home and watch the kids.

      All of this crush for Jon Bernthal and Oscar Isaac is fun to read. Oh, Laura Dern is already shipping Poe and Finn. OH!!!!!!

      Matt Damon just made Ben Affleck look like a boy scout. Bad Matt Damon and because of this, I think I'll wait for Downsize when it comes to my local library on DVD or on TV. I just wanted to support Alexander Payne but Matt ruined. Thanks a lot....

      I like the dress as well and hope you have a happy Xmas.

      1. Haha, love that premise :)

        I just read Downsizing bombed at the box office. Good.

        Thank you!

    5. lol, I was actually doing something similar with Daisy Ridley in TLJ as you were with Oscar Isaac. I genuinely loved the character of Rey in Force Awakens, but here, I felt they did very little with her, and was disappointed with how little she progressed, if at all. That said, one of the things that got me through the movie was every time she came on screen just thinking, man, Daisy sure does look nice in this shot. XD

      1. She is a very pretty girl :) She looks a lot like Keira Knightley

    6. OMG THOSE GIFS do you want to kill me? Lemme finish Narcos 3 and Stranger Things 2 and then I start Mob City.

      Those saying holiday sweaters are ugly need to see those Oscar Isaac gifs

      I can't believe I still haven't seen Logan Lucky and that it's almost 2018 and Damon is still talking and men are bitching about Ocean's 8.

      Thanks for the link! And Merry Christmas to you!

      1. Yes, but let's face it he could wear a garbage bag and look sensational :P

        Watch Logan Lucky! It's such a pleasant movie, it's like the opposite of Wind River

    7. I am also looking forward to Oceans Eight. Not surprised men are griping about it, 'cuz that's what we do. Sigh. I will disagree slightly with you on one thing, the Clooney led version is a classic, imho.

      I need to see Logan Lucky. Hopefully, I'll get to soon.

      Thanks for the link!

      1. Eh, it's popular and well known but I wouldn't call it a classic.

        Logan Lucky is such a fun movie, hope you'll like it!

    8. Thank you so much for the link. Best Christmas present ever. Okay, fine. Top 5.

      At some random screening I went to, I asked one of the producers of A Most Violent Year about Oscar Issac and he lost his mind detailing how fantastic he is. He also said Chastain lobbied hard for him, so there's another reason to like her. Or hate her, I'm not sure I can this shit straight any more.

      Can I just go on the record for saying how much I approve of the recent turn of events. Jackman, Issac, Mamoa...JB. Fans of all these dudes. Let us never speak of the dark days of...let's just call him the snake. That dude ain't half as cool as the fantastic four I just mentioned.

      Happy New Year! If you're in the States, I'll take you to The Greatest Showman. Or we could just watch Baby Driver instead. Either way.

      1. Yeah she got Oscar the part :)

        Is this all about Sucide Squad again? Shitchantress and him probably haunt your dreams :)

        Oh God Baby Driver....but yeah I need to finally see Greatest Showman