Friday, January 26, 2018

(323) Adorable! Amazing! YES! + links

By sati (harlequinade) Friday, January 26, 2018
  • The world is much more beautiful this week than it was last week.
  • But before we get to that...
  • This is gonna be shorter RF because yesterday my phone shat itself so I needed to go and buy a new one today. Man, those things are expensive! I mean I do have the money but that cost me as much as four dresses. I don't think in terms of currency I always think of how many dresses something is the equivalent of. Here's my newest one.
  • My new phone has a better camera so those pictures are going to be better quality and thus more horrific. 
  • The guy in the store asked me what I do with my phone to determine which one is a good model for me. I was like...well, I use it as an alarm clock, I take selfies and I tweet garbage.
  • And back in Hollywood...
  • During Women's March on Saturday Scarlett Johansson thought it was a good idea to call out James Franco. The same Scarlett Johansson who had this to say. 
  • New featurette from Annihilation. It sucks so bad that most people can't see this on the big screen.
  • First picture from next Mission Impossible with Tom Cruise looking like he is about to take a shit. IN THE SKY.
  • Vanity Fair annual photoshoot....why is most of these people there? Also what a mess - 1,2
  • They actually removed Franco from it.
  • PGA awarded The Shape of Water over Three Billboards and I hate PGA so much right now. 
  • JLaw, Aronofsky and Bardem all got Razzie nominations for mother!. Bardem was shit and totally deserves it but come on, if anything Lawrence made it watchable and Aronofsky's job as a director was good.
  • Oh, Darren
  • THR roundtables are being uploaded every Sunday and the upcoming one has Sam in it. So we all know what me and Mettel are going to be watching on repeat. 
  • I went to bed on Sunday and all of you who live in civilized countries and/or didn't need to work the next day were watching SAG so my phone was exploding with notifications (aww you guys!:*). I of course saw all the important footage that I had to at 5 AM after I dragged my tired ass out of bed to start another hellish week (God, I fucking hate this week) but then saw the entire ceremony after work.
  • Oh Lord. They were interviewing Sam and his girlfriend Leslie on the red carpet (it's such an adorable interview!) and since they've been together for 11 years the reporter asked what's their secret. Sam was all classy and said "communication" and Leslie said "good sex". That woman is my role model. 
  • 11 years. 
  • That must be seriously good sex.
  • ....
  • ........
  • *pause for me and Mettel to think about that for a bit*
  • *go to our kitchens* 
  • *take a glass*
  • *fill it with water*
  • *put a shitload of ice cubes in it* 
  • *and just fucking splash it on our faces so that we CALM DOWN for a second*
  • *spoiler alert - it ABSOLUTELY WILL NOT work*
  • *just look at that comment section*
  • I don't know what happened to Mettel when she heard Leslie say that thing but that was on Monday and she got extended sick leave that day so....:)
  • I just kept giggling whenever I remembered it. 
  • Like legit, giggling. 
  • The entire Monday. 
  • I need you guys to LOCK ME IN A CAGE.
  • (livetweet of the ceremony)
  • Super odd thing happened when they were showing clips from Three Billboards because for Woody and Sam they showed scenes that weren't in the movie. What? Did this ever happened before? Woody didn't seem to notice his scene wasn't in the movie while Sam reacted adorably:
  • This is glorious.
  • Jenkins didn't even pay attention and grabbed a drink. Carell was just dead inside. Woody was in his own world. And Dafoe was like "fuck you all I was supposed to be winning". He legit looked like he was already planning his revenge.
  • Seriously Dafoe didn't even applaud Sam. Wow.
  • He brought a piece of paper with him on stage again and just smacked it on the table. It's adorable that this is clearly someone who doesn't have much experience with awards because the fuckers kept snubbing him for the last 20 years. Also the part of the speech about women!
  • Mettel figured it out - because unlike mine, her brain still works - he probably brings the paper this big because he doesn't want to wear glasses on stage. I was like oh my God yes, it's in font 72!. We kinda got confirmation when Sam was wearing glasses and presenting Three Billboards and still barely managed to read what was on teleprompter. Which was adorable.
  • Oh my God....please tell me someone is holding this guy's hand and helping him at all times.
  • Adorable!
  • Only women had questions. And he didn't correct "wife" remark. And he needed glasses. It's all adorable
  • (how many times have I used the word "adorable" already?)
  • Also when he won Leslie just kept hitting his arm. 
  • What is she going to do to him when he wins that Oscar? 
  • Tear his clothes off?
  • *hold on, we need another glass of water*
  • ....
  • .......
  • ..........
  • So anyways...
  • On Monday it was Academy Awards nominations! Obviously the fact Rockwell is finally nominated makes it amazing. I cannot remember the last time someone I was rooting for actually had a real shot at winning. I cannot wait for the ceremony! Let's start praying I find a decent livestream otherwise I will just explode/
  • Academy Award Nominee!
  • This is in reference to Golden Globes but I will use it here (also my gifs because obviously):
  • Sam slept through it. That too was...
  • *say it with me*
  • ...ADORABLE. 
  • But seriously, Franco...And they replaced him with Denzel. Gyllenhaal is just one step away from eating raw bison liver and sleeping in horse carcass like DiCaprio. Hanks hasn't been nominated for nearly two decades. They saw Logan since they nominated it in Adapted Screenplay so they could have nominated Jackman.
  • But nope.
  • Denzel.
  • Also Gerwig got in, naturally, since they were all afraid of what Natalie Portman is going to do to them if they "snub" her. If you had to nominate a woman, Patty Jenkins did a much better job. And really? Nothing for Wonder Woman? Not even costumes nomination?
  • Molly's Game is also nominated in Adapted Screenplay. A movie containing that scene on the park bench is, according to them, worthy of a screenplay nomination.
  • Thirteen nominations for The Shape of Water. Thirteen. Bad enough Del Toro is winning over Nolan so at least give BP win to Three Billboards. Octavia Spencer now has three nominations including one win for playing sassy friend to a protagonist character. Also the one thing that movie deserved was make up nomination and it didn't get that. Did they think it was VFX?
  • That nominations presentation was embarrassing to watch. I know Tiffany Haddish made this one movie people like, apparently, so God forbid anyone criticizes her but that was utterly cringe worthy and disrespectful to the nominees. Some of these people have been nominated for the first time in their lives and she cannot even pronounce their names right? Absolutely awful.
  • Casey Affleck is not going to present at the Oscars.
  • So I saw The Post. It's utterly boring and probably even more forgettable than Bridge of Spies and Hanks has even less to do here. The Best Picture nomination and nomination for Streep for this is laughable. Streep is now heading to Big Little Lies so now the Emmys will be difficult to watch too with everyone standing up at her name being randomly said. God I'm so tired of that woman and all the undeserved accolades she has been getting lately. And between her and Witherspoon that is too much overrated and overexposed to endure so no to season 2 from me. I barely sat through the first one. 
  • I will come for all of them, I swear to God. How fucking dare you. On a sacred week like that.
  • Number 17. Oh, man.
  • Good God
  • Is "lasso kink" a thing because I may have it.
  • On Saturday I saw three Sam movies. And lord help us all I livetweeted all of them. 
  • rewatched Iron Man 2:
  • I am VERY proud of that lap tweet.
  • Then I saw Mr. Right. That was Max Landis' script. And even here Sam managed to be amazing. He danced, he ate green gummy bears, he killed people. So hot.
  • and then I watched Welcome to Collinwood.That was a very nice movie! It was funny, Clooney had hilarious cameo and overall it was very entertaining. We are barely alive, by the way.
  • My God. 
  • I am gifing porn at 3 AM.
  • That movie is from 2002. These are my gifs - because I hate myself - WtC on the left, Laggies on right:
  • On Sunday I watched Snow Angels. That was so much misery! And for very little purpose. Sam was amazing, though. 
  • I'm just gonna end on Isaac note to finish you off.
  • People warned me for months. They were like "don't watch Suburbicon. Just fast forward to Oscar's scenes". But I didn't listen. I was like "no! I shall suffer for love!". 
  • And suffer I did.
  • Oh my God. This is now the second movie featuring angelic baby boo that I have no idea what the plot was about (another one is Mojave). It was just awful. The cinematography was nice and two scenes with Oscar in it (HE WAS IN ONLY TWO SCENES) were terrific because of his efforts but that's it. What a waste of my time. Well, my time is not valuable but Oscar's is so how dare you Clooney. 
  • It also reeked through the screen of his petty jealousy. Clooney is past his prime, he cannot direct well anymore and he is lying through his teeth like a coward when talking about Weinstein. And then he has this dashing, lovely, young, talented and ridiculously handsome actor in his film and he only uses him in two scenes and has Trash Damon wreck his face.
  • I see what you did, Clooney. 
  • I see you, bitch.
  • (yes, I know you gave Sam his big break but there is no excuse for Trash Damon hitting baby boo with a pipe or whatever the fuck)
  • Still, look at baby boo:
  • "hanky-panky", Jesus Christ.
  • Also WOW. That face.
  • These are also my gifs. Am I suicidal?
  • *shout it with me* ADORABLE!
  • *whisper it with me* schlong
  • MettelRay fangirls over Sam gloriously. My young disciple I am so proud!
  • Brittani, Katy and Keith share their thoughts on Oscar nominations
  • Alex shares top 20 female performances in 2017
  • Sonia reviews Logan Lucky
  • Allie reviews Darkest Hour
  • Sofia lists the best TV series n 2017
  • m.brown reviews Paddington 2


    1. Shape of Water and (don’t kill me) Three Billboards did little for me so I don’t have much to root for on oscar night. It’s looking like practically no suspense at all although I’m hoping Nolan proves me wrong!

      1. Nolan is probably gonna be as miserable as he was during the Globes

    2. DON'T TELL ME SUBURBICON IS RUBBISH! I've been waiting ages to see it because of Oscar...I can't sit through Mojave Part 2...
      Excuse me while I sob uncontrollably and then watch it anyway...
      Thanks for the link!

      1. You need to fast forward to Oscar's scenes. Trust me even if you sit through the movie you won't know the plot. That thing doesn't have one

    3. Great stuff. All hail Sam! Gunning for that Oscar... Please God, let it happen.

      I had no idea Johansson was quoted saying that stuff. That seems very inconsistent. I'd be curious to hear her thoughts on it now. The Post... yeah, I couldn't get into it. The whole thing felt so rushed. Every the studio logos were sped up in the beginning!

      Thanks so much for the link!

      1. I am gonna be so happy if he wins! i cannot wait to see him there with gigantic scroll he is going to have trouble reading :P

        Johansson is such a hypocrite, of all the people to call out, she goes after Franco?

    4. So you've now discovered what some of us had already known about Rockwell. I'm glad he's getting all of this attention but I still like to have him remain a bit obscure. I do hope he wins.

      So James Franco got replaces by an extra leg? Damn...

      I think the reason Scar-Jo 3:16 called out Franco was over the fact that Franco was mean to one of her buddies in the BULLET CLUB some years ago.

      Logan should've gotten more Oscar nods. I'm angry that Wonder Woman got 0 nods and that fucking Boss Baby got nominated instead of the The Lego Batman Movie.

      1. Wait what? You guys also wanted to bang him all this time? Because that's the only new part of the equation here :)

        Scarlett ought to shut up. She has no moral high ground over anybody.

    5. Awesome RF as always! Thanks for linking my post! <3 That list of Sam's opinions on Buzzfeed is hiliarious.

      Besides Good Night and Good Luck was George Clooney ever a good director? He's kind of always been just a little average. I think I'm the only person alive who likes Leatherheads. lol

      I thought I was legit crazy when that deleted scene in 3 Billboards played at the SAG awards. I was so happy when he noticed it too! lol

      1. He is so precious :P

        Suburbicon is simply inexplicable. What a trashfire, Jesus Christ!

        Sam's reaction was ADORABLE!!!

    6. Now you need to watch Lawn Dogs.

      Man, Franco..and Violet Paley's credibility will never be questioned.

      I love how there's all these hot Bernthal photos for suggested posts.

      Thanks for the link!

      1. I WILL!

        Seriously I feel bad for Franco. He looked miserable at SAG

    7. Academy Award nominee Sam Rockwell. I still can't believe it happened!

      I knew they would have snubbed Franco still I'm so pissed because he was my favourite male lead of the year and without him that category is shit. They should have nominated Jackman but instead they randomly nominated Washington. I love him and I haven't seen the movie yet but people who have said he doesn't deserve it. As for Streep, I like her but she's become so overrated lately. I mean, whatever she does they need to award her for it. And people treat her like a goddess. Unbelievable!

      I'm adding Mr. Right on my watchlist right away.

      God I wish I could kill Clooney and Damon for what they did to Oscar. He was the only good thing about that movie ffs

      Thanks for the link!

      1. Me neither and it's so wonderful it did!

        Mr. Right is so worth watching for Sam. He is just delightful there.

        I don't know what the fuck was that movie. If they made Oscar's character the protagonist it would be so much better.

    8. Agree Razzie for J. Lawrence is undeserved, I thought it was among her better performances.
      If you haven't already, check out Sam Rockwell improv dancing on Jimmy Fallon, it's a a fun clip:

    9. Those Mother! Razzies are a joke, and just further confirmation that the Razzies themselves are a joke.

      I don't get the Denzel nomination this year. Unless he's going to become another Meryl Streep and just get nominated just 'cause now. But for real, what a waste of a nomination. Just, why??

      As for a woman director, not just Patty Jenkins, but I still don't get how Kathryn Bigelow has gone so overlooked this year. About a million times better movie than Lady Bird, and a million times better direction at that.

      Wonder Woman getting completely shut out is also suspect. Some technical nods at the least would've been expected, but nope. Really bizarre. How does DC get not just a nomination, but a fucking WIN with something like Suicide Squad, but an actual highly regarded movie of theirs goes empty handed?

      Molly's Game being nominated is about as embarrassing as the script itself. :P

      I actually didn't even notice Shape of Water got snubbed for makeup. Fucking HOW??

      1. I'm telling you, they didn't know it was make up :) These people can't even be bothered to watch the movies some times, let alone spend a moment to read a little bit about them. The honest ballots thing that one of the rags is doing every year is infuriating to read

    10. Academy Award... I won't end this sentence but I know how I will end it in March.

      Sam's so cute, I kind of hope he would wear his glasses to the Oscars because he looks adorable in them, but at the same time, I also want him to bring his A2 paper with him. That would be a delightful sight!

      That pull in by the clothes, man, I... that makes me speechless. I will hope he he has more roles where he is able to do that and I would have be thrown out of the cinema because I'll start removing my underwear.

      It's great to see you kept up Sam's fangirling, I was being so lazy this week and watching completely different things but I have never done so much fangirling that I have with Sam so I'm still proud of myself. :D I'll watch two of his movies today too, so from 11 a week to 3..

      I don't think I will watch Suburbicon or whatever it is.. It doesn't interest me one bit.

      Thank you for the links, and the tweet mentions! I'm going back to work next week so I won't be able to perv as much (6 days in a row, unfortunately) but I will give it my best!

      1. My underwear will just fly off. Oh my God that move is fantastic. I bet he does it in real life all the time except he is also wearing glasses to be you know, able to see :P

        That's just horrible! :P I am trying to still have more time for Sam films than for any other films, priorities, girl! That is what matters! :P And I managed that while working the entire week so yeah....I'm good :) You can do it too :P

    11. Love the fangirling over Sam Rockwell. When you fangirl, you do it with style. I take it The Shape of Water didn't do a lot for you. It's not been released where I am yet, but I think I'll see it so I can give an opinion.

      1. Yes my style is called 'probably gonna end up in prison' :)

    12. Horrific? Just stop. I’ll show you horrific. *takes selfie*

      Is it getting hot in here? I used to think we’d reached some sort of sexual crescendo, but not only has the bar been raised, Hell, I don’t think we even know where the old one is anymore. Bravo.

      Wow, the Sam Rockwell pull-in kiss is fantastic. If only my wife would stand around more dilapidated concrete walls. And if I weren’t a foot taller than she is (Sam lucks out in that regard). Oh, and if she actually looked forward to me slobbering all over her.

      For the record, because my tech is so bad right now, I’m typing this comment in a word doc at work, emailing it to myself, and then commenting when I get home. Uh huh. Fancy.

      Girl, stop pussyfooting around with Paddington. Get on that shit. You need to hang with THAT Mr. Brown. Oh, and thanks for the link!

      1. One of these days I will hit "publish" and the world is going to explode. Amazingly the next RF is even worse.

        You should try it! It's such a fantastic move, that guy is a genius!

        What on Earth? Did yet another piece of equipment commited suicide on you ?? Good God what were you watching this timeT?

        I think I will tonight, I need at least one Sam-free film this week.