Friday, February 16, 2018

(326) Annihilated + links

By sati (harlequinade) Friday, February 16, 2018
  • watched Cloverfield Paradox. That was terrible. The only good thing about this film is all the puns people made about the funniest The IT Crowd episode - "I'm disabled. ARM DISABLED". This was not only a horrible movie, it absolutely wrecked the entire franchise. I mean it is so fucking stupid that it manages to ruin all the previous AND upcoming movies.
  • Why are there monsters? Because they messed up something in space. 
  • Why are there several dimensions? Because they messed up something in space. 
  • Why is any of this stuff happening? Because they messed up something in space. 
  • Why is Sam Rockwell so hot? Because they messed up something in space. 
  • Why can't m.brown find his Frost/Nixon DVD? Because they messed up something in space. 
  • There is actual scene in this trash where a scientist says that if they do the thing which they did they will unleash aliens, monsters and beasts from under the sea. So they basically explain the 'rules' of the franchise in one extremely dumb, extremely lazy exposition-filled moment. 
  • The whole thing was almost unbearable to watch and it's only February but it's definitely going to be a strong contender for the worst movie of 2018.
  • Also wasting Gugu and Elizabeth like this should be punishable. Honestly the entire cast was so underused in this pile of garbage. 
  • Whenever I see Chris O'Dowd in anything I immediately have to follow that up with the full rewatch of The IT Crowd. It's just too funny. So that's what I've been doing this week. Also I'm sick and I don't really have the strength to do anything, so this is gonna be very short RF. 
  • For some reason I decided to give Netflix another chance and few hours ago I watched The Ritual. That was pretty good. Comparing to Cloverfield: Paradox it was GREAT. Also 15 minutes in I was like "ooh, this guy is hot who is that?" and I check imdb and it's Barrow, the mean guy, from Downton Abbey! Why do you guys ever shave?!
  • I rewatched Spider-Man 3 because I wanted to see how they did Venom, you know, since there is fuck all of that in that new Hardy movie trailer. How did Franco avoid getting Razzie nomination for that trash? My God!
  • Hey, speaking of - here is the worst possible photo to accompany this headline
  • I also saw Phantom Thread. Yeah, PTA is not for me. His films are very well shot and scored and the actors deliver terrific work but it's all just too bizarre, story-wise. I did enjoy Magnolia and Boogie Nights but his recent movies are not well paced. The last 30 minutes of Phantom Thread is just insane - I could see what he wanted to do but it didn't translate well on the screen at all and was extremely weird and abrupt. DDL plays a creep and an asshole. What else is new?
  • DDL was good acting like a bitch and a diva but really, was that acting? This is a dude with all that pretentious method acting crap and "oh, I'm retiring" shtick. I'd be shocked if he was anything other than a bitch and a diva. As you can probably tell I'm not a fan.
  • Vicky Krieps was fantastic. What an embarrassment for the Academy to nominate Streep over her. And Manville was great, I loved that moment:
  • Kim Cattrall and Sarah Jessica Parker feud got super real last Saturday. I'm team Kim since Parker is one fake bitch.
  • That annoying woman from Oscar nominations and Melissa McCarthy are gonna be in a movie together. The premise seems great and I love Melissa so I'm in. 
  • Idris Elba proposed to his girlfriend in a theater filled with people, on stage, before the screening of his movie. Naturally, since she is a seeing woman, she said yes. The general mood on twitter is that of sadness and crushed dreams (1,2,3,4).
  • What a week for Michael Fassbender. First there are these embarrassing news. And then there are these horrific news. I'd say that's a nail to the coffin but he has been doing fine job burying his career all on his own, not even a coffin and nails necessary. He just rolled into a ditch with disgraced franchise and started digging a hole furiously. 
  • In news that shouldn't surprise anyone, Tom Hardy is the fan of The Room.
  • Poor bastard
  • So deleted scenes from Justice League showed up on the Internet. This one is particularly infuriating. It's a beautiful scene. Cavill is perfect in it and Irons' delivery of "Master Kent" is just lovely. I fucking hate WB. I hate them.
  • There was a rumor this week they are scoring Aquaman trailer right now. James Wan debunked the rumor in a way that made me roll my eyes. Take it up with the composer, not the people on the Internet who have right to look for news for movie you and the studio are LUCKY some are still excited about. You never go after the fans, ever. The studio completely mangled Justice League, now they have the audacity to put scenes that are superior to anything in the actual movie as 'deleted scenes' on home release and the director of the movie that is also in DCEU that is the first to follow Justice League says "people shouldn't pick random stuff on the Internet as news"? Man, you're lucky anyone cares about this movie let alone cares enough to look for news about it.
  • The Predator, which I am waiting for, moved to September and now The Nun, which I'm waiting for even more, also moved to September. 
  • No rest for the horny - The Punisher season 2 starts shooting this month and may even be dropping this year. 
  • Meanwhile, in the land of Schlongs and Roosters....
  • *I was an Angel*
  • *Looking to get fucked hard*
  • *Like a groupie incognito posing as a real singer*
  • *Life imitates art*
  • ...anyone? 
  • Gods & Monsters?
  • *I'm really coming down with that illness here, aren't I?*
  • Thanks to Annihilation release being upon us, we had lots of Oscar Isaac sightings this week.
  • Here's BTS video. Oscar is actually shirtless in it. 
  • And here's interview.
  • Oscar was also on Kimmel's show this week (1,2,3). He was adorable. And fuck you Kimmel for that sexist 'my theory is that women want babies so they can get rid of their husband's stuff' remark. This may fly with your good buddy Trash Damon - not just fly, he would piss himself laughing, the idiot - but Oscar had none of it.
  • Why?:
  • WHY?:
  • As for the Rooster worship, I am actually getting worse
  • Mettel is close to seeing God here
  • Fine, if we count my responses there, we are both losing it majorly.
  • I can't with that gif of him in that lab coat. I CAN'T.
  • Oh, Mr. Scientist!
  • I swear I don't even look for these things, they just come to me
  • 2 days till BAFTAs. 
  • What shirt will he wear? 
  • How many pages will he bring to the stage? 
  • Will he wear glasses? 
  • Will I survive watching it?
  • Slay me, sir.
  • I rewatched Everybody's Fine. It's a charming movie but it's a shame Sam wasn't in it more. Still, thank God for that drum and all the puns I could make. 
  • On Sunday I watched Heist. That was really boring and overwritten but Sam was great in it. 
  • However, am I glad that I watched that because halfway through it someone thought it was a good idea for Sam to do this.
  • Yep. It's not a surprise the next day I woke up with fever, totally incapacitated.
  • My reviews are super insightful and appropriate this week - 1,2
  • So Mettel's birthday was this week (YEY! happy birthday!) and I made her this
  • This is, without a doubt, the greatest thing I've ever made.
  • And making it did not help with my fever at all.
  • On Valentine's I decided the world needs joy and hotness so I gifed that:
  • I'd run to that spaceship so fucking fast my underwear would fall off and I'd trip over it and die.
  • Also I gifed that
  • God, he has great legs.
  • I cannot believe a lot of things about m.brown's movie viewing history and habits (he actually followed Jigsaw with Mandy Moore shark movie, Daddario/Upton movie and Peter Rabbit and he is STILL not in hospital with acute case of brain damage) but how on Earth has he not seen The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy? He'd love that movie!
  • Sam is gonna be on Colbert's show next Wednesday so with that and BAFTAs RF is already guaranteed to be much longer than that one. 
  • Unless whatever it is I'll watch on Sunday that features Sam is gonna make me even weaker in my already compromised state.
  • I'm gonna link myself, for probably the first time in the more than 6 years (oh, Jesus Christ!) history of RF, because judging from the amount of comments not enough people have seen my brilliant post about Sam's work in Jesse James. I'm so proud of that one. It's actually moderately sane and restrained other than that bit where I rave about how lovely his eyes are. Also I'm super proud that I got both Mettel AND Sonia to watch it (they both really liked the film) but let's face it the real challenge is getting m.brown to watch it. I mean if I can make THAT happen....I can do anything.
  • Sonia reviews 10 Years. Also she is the only one who read in RF about that movie where Oscar sings and plays the guitar and actually watched it. What the hell is wrong with you guys?
  • Sonia also watched Choke and wrote the most accurate review of this movie on the Internet.
  • Mettel shares 10 enjoyable 'bad' romantic movies
  • Allie also found Call Me By Your Name to be insanely boring
  • Keith reviews Geostorm
  • Brittani reviews Good Time
  • Courtney lists her top 10 movies of 2017
  • m.brown reviews Mandy Moore shark movie and has the audacity to blame his wife for watching it.


    1. I have no interest in seeing the new Cloverfield. Shit, I haven't seen any of those films.

      Amy Schumer got married. I give it a year.

      Oh, Sam Rockwell was awesome in The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. I just hope you don't see his small role in the atrocity that is.... Gentleman Broncos. It's so fucking horrible. He was wasted in that film.

    2. I didn't watch SATC at all but I'm team Kim because I read a bunch of gossip and feel bad for her lol.

      I'm so excited for Annihilation!

      I also need to watch Frost/Nixon.

      Thanks for the link!

      1. Yes you absolutely do need to watch Frost/Nixon :)

    3. After I watched Phantom Thread I was like why wasn't Krieps nominated? She was fantastic in this and her performance was far better than Daniel Day-Lewis's


      I've been a fan of Fassbender for many years so I hope those allegations are false. I did read though an interview a while back with Gina Carano who worked with him in Haywire, and she said that they were filming this scene and he pushed her so hard she blacked out. So I'm kinda scared its true.

      Thanks for the link!

      1. I believe these alelgations. Fassbender is a complete mess. I'm surprised he is actually married and to this lady, Vikander seems like a rather reasonable, normal person.

    4. Here it comes.....wait for it....I liked The Cloverfield Paradox (braces for inevitable stoning from the masses). 😂

      And thank you for calling out the Academy’s insanity for (once again) wedging in Streep at the cost of other more well deserved talent. Any time someone points that out I can’t help but applaud!

      1. Oh God, why? :D

        Second year in the row. It's pathetic.

    5. I agree that is the funniest IT Crowd episode, even if I do feel a bit shameful laughing at jokes about gays and the disabled. Hopefully those groups can see the funny side, I don't think it's done to offend them.

      1. I think people are way too sensitive these days. Like all those teenagers being offended about jokes in Friends now that it is on Netflix. That was made in mid 90s, but the silly outrage is fresh.

    6. IT Crowd is so, so good. Cloverfield sounds awful, I had to laugh at the Rockwell comment afterwards. I think he is your biggest perv yet, iets getting pretty hot here!! :P

      Annihilator sounded like it could be decent. I don't think its playing here though. Didn't know Isaac was in it, that makes it worth watching alone. And goddamn he can really rock a suit!! Makes me wanna go buy one I can't afford.

      Pity you didn't like Phantom Thread. I'm gonna see it tonight, you really didn't like There Will be Blood?

      1. It's not like I didn't like it, it's just this is not the kind of films I like. PTA has ambition but has no skills to pull it off entirely. Also his films are so cold and theatrical. Nothing there moves me or convinces me.

    7. Have you seen the last, movie length IT crowd episode? They also did a very interesting doco too, shows how much detail they went into re- the set (basement) and other stuff.

      Best comedy ever imo

      1. I did see the last episode, but didn't see the other things. The outtakes on DVDs are fucking hysterical, though

        It's my second favorite British comedy after The Thick of It

      2. I've never heard of that one. If its better than the IT Crowd then I need to get on it fast

      3. There is also a spin off film called 'in the Loop' that is my #3 fav movie of all time

    8. I had no idea the Cattrall/Parker beef was still a thing. I'd assumed everyone got over it by now.

      I didn't hate The Cloverfield Paradox, but it's clearly weaker than the other two movies and feels shoehorned into the franchise.

    9. Totally dug The Ritual. And, truth be told, I actually dug The Cloverfield Paradox as well. Oops, lol. :P

    10. Oh my, loved that third reaction to Idris' proposal. That Fassbender story was part of the suit that his partner filled against him. I read about that years ago, when Shame came out, I think. The trial didn't go on. I loved his acting back then but right now I don't care much about him as he keeps doing all those terrible films... looks like he's only been relevant in the last months because he married an actress I don't care about either so yeah, you described pretty well his current state.

      So glad to read that about The Punisher! I only watched Daredevil's second season to watch Bernthal in the role and I'm watching The Punisher right now, just in the middle of the first season and loving it so far.

      Sad for Krieps too. And I'm also team Kim. Those 'I'm from a different planet' gifs are great haha.

      1. Him and his wife have terrible strings of flops right now. Tomb Rider looks very mediocre. Alicia does seem like a classy lady, though, I don't know why she is with him he is a total mess right now.

        YES! Bernthal is just amazing in that role and the first season of the show was so good. I do hope they give them a bit of a bigger budget this time, though.

    11. Wait, wait...wait. You give me shit about my movie selections...and you re-watched Spider-Man 3...on purpose? If this were soccer, I'm pulling out a yellow card.

      If I can ever manage to watch a movie in my house again (I think my brain dies at 10pm), I might give The Ritual a go. Assuming, of course, I never find that damn Frost/Nixon bluray. That f--ker is from Blockbuster and they haven't been a company for like 5 years. Terrible shame, that.

      Man, that Poe handsome. Bring on Annihilation asap. I might even stay awake all the way through.

      Thanks for the link, Tink. Let me know how you liked the Mandy Moore vs. shark movie.

      1. Hey, hey, hey. At least it had spectacularly awful performance from Franco and it's a mainstream movie not saws/sharks/boobs of B-class cinema. If not a letter further in the alphabet :P

        Good God, losing Frost/Nixon blu-ray should legitimately be an offense punishable by the law.

    12. I have a lot of discs...what can I say?

    13. Great work! I'm glad you liked Vicky Krieps in Phantom Thread, and yes, what a bummer that Streep stole her nomination. And that scene you GIFd was priceless. Love how Manville didn't even bother to look at him.