Friday, March 16, 2018

(330) Good luck with this one! + links

By sati (harlequinade) Friday, March 16, 2018
  • This is gonna be such a wild ride, you guys. Yet again it's quite brief, but my God this RF is FIRE.
  • I had no time for Sam this week. I barely had time for anything. So we are still firmly in the double boo zone. Not triple boo zone. 
  • I'm not high, I'm just explaining.
  • On Monday I finally saw Annihilation
  • That was excellent, but two things - who in the everloving fuck cheats on Oscar Isaac? The only way it is acceptable or at least comprehensible to cheat on Oscar Isaac is if you are cheating on him with MomoWOAH. And guess what, he was not in the movie. 
  • I was so distracted by this. 
  • Two times I had to go on twitter and bitch about that, mid-film. 
  • Then the next day I woke up and I went on twitter and I bitched about that again. 
  • And then I bitched about that in my letterboxd review. It was so infuriatingly stupid.
  • Also was I supposed to care about the protagonist because the second she did that I was like "bitch, can't relate".
  • The second thing is that they really could have used more money for CGI. What they done was impressive but it's just so annoying some dumb trash has budget of hundred mil but here they had to count every dollar they had.
  • I know this is very shallow critique of the film, I am planning on reviewing it but the skin on my hands actually started cracking this week from typing and carrying legal acts so much at work so I wouldn't hold my breath for that review any time soon.
  • In other Oscar news, his lovely wife shared this with us on twitter. 
  • Trailer for Life Itself. I'm still moaning after all that shirtless action in Annihilation and now the universe has thrown Oscar with that glorious beard situation at me.
  • Also The Last Jedi leaked and was gifed by hundreds of people with time to do that so there is this:
  • and this:
  • Slide into my trench, sir.
  • I have to start hiking
  • Oscar is in the land of Jason right now, Hawaii, and he is filming his new movie, shirtless.
  • God bless you Hawaii.
  • I love you so fucking much.
  • I opened with Mr. Schlong section again this week, so now let's dive into the comprehensible section and then let's just dive into the deepest, darkest, wildest pit that RF can possibly have.
  • Guess who invited Kobe to their show. Yep, you guessed right. 
  • DCEU marketing department got high again and released the commercial for Justice League blu ray that was styled to look all vintage with narrator talking over it and with the footage being over-saturated to look even more cutesy. The responses to that tweet were absolutely magical, sadly that tweet was deleted. Apparently they uploaded that commercial twice in 2 days time and they ended up deleting it both times because the feedback was so overwhelmingly negative. 
  • Just promote that fucking blu ray by showing that BTS part. That was breathtaking. 
  • I think about that video at least 10 times a day.
  • Get that second Oscar nomination, Melissa!
  • The trailer for that next Eddie Redmayne/Harry Potter film is so underwhelming. Also dumpster Depp is lurking in it.
  • Margot Robbie is a disgrace. I was puzzled about her comments about Harley Quinn and The Joker relationship and she followed that by starring in a movie that erased the victim's perspective. But this recent career choice she made, coupled with the above, paints quite a picture. Her singing up for this shows that men in Hollywood can risk women's life, defend child rapists and they will still get a famous actress to portray a pregnant woman who was murdered in a movie that is supposed to be released on the "anniversary" of the murders for maximum publicity. I'm no longer a fan and I hope they recast Harley Quinn because I don't want someone so reprehensible playing one of my favorite characters.
  • Just the worst - 1,2. I'm sure there are many talented directors out there. What about the director of "The Love Witch?" Where is her next movie? It's like they think if they rightfully criticize DuVerney for making a mess they will kill any chances women have in the business. No. Focus on those who actually deserve them. Stop pushing mediocre directors on people.
  • WHY. Just stop announcing dozens of projects, you morons.
  • I hope his tiny dick fell off
  • Well there we go.
  • There you have it - not only is Terry Gilliam a bad director he is also a twat. Go fuck some grass, Terry as you are shooting a riveting footage of sky 
  • I am so glad Trash Damon and Sadffleck are back in the news
  • So glad, you guys.
  • Australia, I'm so sorry sweetie.
  • A Quiet Place got great reactions which is lovely because Krasinski and Blunt are good people.
  • James Wan? Hawaii? Jason for the hot dad role please!
  • For those who care = new Infinity War trailer.
  • Also there's a poster. Why the hell is the animal abusing trash Pratt getting prestigious "AND" credit?
  • Also - whose wife did Renner fuck that he is so absent of the marketing for this?
  • I am just so not excited about this. They tried to lure me in by having Evans grow a beard but nah, it's still only Evans.
  • So I watched Paddington 2 because m.brown recommended it to me. You see, when I tell him to watch something, like The Bad Batch which is a movie in which Jason doesn't wear a shirt for 90 minutes and plays a cannibal (yes I did shout "eat me!" at the screen multiple times during it) and we shall all be witnessing that, it's been 5 months and he still hasn't seen it. But nope, when I get a recommendation, I watch stuff.
  • What the shit, dude?! I think I got at least 10 new grey hair watching this movie. Every single time that bear was in peril, sad or lied to I could literally feel I was aging. I think I lost 10 years out of my lifetime when he almost drowned.
  • The film was very good and what a charming message it had, but this is why I don't watch Pixar or stuff like this. It's too much. These adorable, pure, innocent creatures need to be protected and never have negative experience in their lives. Ever. Not even for a single scene.
  • Also that film made me feel so alone which is probably the opposite of what I should have been feeling after watching it. I don't have anyone who would save me from drowning. Like...literally nobody gives a fuck. 
  • Let's make a joke here because it got to heavy. OK, I've got it - the only things that would be different if I drown - 1. the judicial system in this country would clearly collapse cause I'm the world's most hard working lawyer 2. the hype for Aquaman online would be almost non-existent because I'm generating at least 90% of it 3. nobody would be shading m.brown on twitter.
  • See this is exactly the kind of shit that happens when I watch adorable stuff like this. This is where my fucked up mind goes. This is why I stick to my comfort zone which is trash with my boos (sometimes they happen to star in something good).
  • At least during that I'm too enthralled to go poor me.
  •  Let's just keep my feels in my ovaries and not in my heart.
  • After this I had to watch few episodes of Red Road to calm down.
  • "Calm down" is wrong phrase to use here...
  • I am drowning looking at those gifs.
  • Yesterday I read ANOTHER story about Jason attending some convention, walking by strangers' tables, nodding at people and saying 'hi!'.
  • Let's imagine for a second what would have happened if I were there.
  • Let's do that, cause you know this is gonna be funny. Let's please imagine me, 5 feet tall me, high pitched voice me, in a situation like this.
  • I'd either start giggling, fall out of my chair and just never got back up again..
  • ...OR I'd throw myself on his leg, grab it and beg him to take me to his ranch with him because my life is garbage.
  • Either way - embarrassing stuff.
  • You will hear my screams all the way in your countries. I'm not sure if I already announced it in RF that that trailer is dropping, I keep writing about that upcoming trailer every week, so I probably did. Mind you, this is just a rumor and it still doesn't say when we get to see it online.
  • I'm so worried. Not about the quality, because let's face it I'll love it no matter what they do.
  • I'm worried because I'm not on birth control (because why the fuck would I be).
  • Should I get on that shit before that trailer drops and I watch it?
  • I think I need to seriously consider that. Because as I rewatch Red Road and he is on the screen's like...the opposite...of what was going on with me during Paddington 2. The visual of that sensation would blooming. Or something like that.
  • *I'm really not high.*
  • All of this is true
  • I swear these talking baby goats had Gremlin faces.
  • On Sunday I had another nightmare, I don't even remember what it was. 
  • I am not gonna stop. Mother of God I will not stop perving. No matter what. I'm actually about to rewatch the entire season 2 of Frontier
  • *loud noises*
  • I wonder what intense nightmare will I have tonight. Will I dream there is gonna be a movie directed by Tarantino, starring Trash Damon, Sadffleck and Dumpster Depp and I don't know, they all get to make out with Jason and I don't get to?
  • Oh God. It would be horrible. Dreaming about this and not being able to run to him and bathe him in Purell. 
  • Oooh bathe him.
  • ...
  • .....
  • ........
  • *Just, stop, ovaries.*
  •  *Just stop.*
  • *We're only about to start watching the show now. Save your strength*
  • *Because we have to make it to December 21*
  • Jordan reviews Red Sparrow
  • Katy writes about that Fantastic Beasts trailer
  • Brittani reviews Thoroughbreds
  • Chris lists his favorite films from 2016
  • MettelRay shares a gorgeous award season scrapbook
  • Sonia reviews Annihilation
  • m.brown reviews Game Night
  • and finally Alex lists 108 things he loves about the one, the only, the remarkable Casino



    1. I'm glad you liked Annhilation! I was hoping you would. That bear scared me.

      Fuck Chris Pratt. It's a shame how much I used to like that guy before more of his personality came out.

      I still can't believe Tarantino is making that movie.

      Thanks for the link!

      1. I still cannot believe people actually wanna make that movie with Tarantino. Just what the hell kind of garbage morality is the standard over there

    2. Glad you enjoyed Annihilation, I liked it too. Will look out for your full review. Since Oscar Issac’s in Ex-Machina as well, I figure Garland and Isaac must be friends? Nice for a change to see a female-led cast in a sci-fi film.

      Thanks for the linkage to my top 20 (You need to correct the link-isn’t working)

      1. Oh, fixed!

        I don't know about that but Garland clearly liked working with Oscar enough to ask him back

    3. I gotta watch Paddington 2, and Last Jedi - man, that took a long time to leak.

      Wow, that Tomb Raider tweet. Wow. I actually read some good reviews of the movie, so I'll try to see it this week. A Wrinkle in Time always looked like a mess. I get it might feel very important to people, but that doesn't make it a good movie. Again, I haven't seen it, but I felt the same way about Black Panther. In MY OPINION, it was pretty close to shit. 🙄

      I'm watching Annihilation today for the podcast. The book was amazing, I'm kinda scared.

      Awww I just want to cuddle Keanu!!

      1. I haven't seen Black Panther yet, it just feels like yet again it's the same MCU movie. I will see IW because it's such a big deal but I am sure once again they won't take any big risks like killing anyone off permanently

    4. I saw Annihilation on Monday and I still haven't recovered from Portman cheating on Oscar with that random dude. WTF right?!

      I'm glad you enjoyed Paddington 2. That movie had the same effect of me.

      I haven't watched any of those trailers yet and frankly I don't think I will, but I've seen the new Avengers poster and seriously, where the hell is Renner?!

      Thanks for the link!

      1. What the hell was that? It's just insane.

        Renner is just such a meme right now, he is the original Avenger and there is no sight of him :D

    5. with you on annihilation! when that bear first showed up, he didn't show up at all - I'm like, are we saving money here?!

      1. A shame that they didn't give Garland more resources but he did pretty great with what he could use

    6. No time for Sam this week? How did you even make it through? :)

      QT making that movie is all sorts of cringy.

      I like DuVernay, and I'm curious to see what she does with DC. Haven't seen A Wrinkle in Time just yet, so I can't say what I think of it, just that it's possible to be a good director and make a mediocre (or worse) film. Either way, I agree that we have to be able to honestly criticize the work of any artist without feeling like we're damaging the chances of others of their race, gender, sexuality, religion, etc.

      Anyhoo, good stuff as always.

      1. Yeah, I know! I am down to one movie a week, it sucks :/

    7. Thanks so much for the link and tweet! I knew you weren't going to buy that someone could possibly cheat on Oscar Isaac. That's just madness. And I agree about that movie's CGI. The quality of CGI is getting worse and worse, but audience tolerance is getting higher and higher. It's a real shame, because Annihilation rocked, but some of those shots were rendered so poorly.

      1. You're welcome, that was an amazing post! That was just insane. I don't know why Garland thought he can get away with the plot maneuver this stupid. It's a real shame about CGI, but they did what they could with this budget

    8. Add Fantastic Beasts 2 to the list of movies I intentionally plan to skip this year. So many cynical cash grab releases nowadays, not enough time or money in the world to warrant wasting on them anymore.

      Good to hear about A Quiet Place. Hope it turns out well.

      That Infinity War poster is seriously the most curious thing about this whole movie to me. First thing that stood out to me was that "AND Chris Pratt", and I was just like, huh, that's... peculiar. Then what stood out is who's names AREN'T listed, including not only Jeremy Renner, but also Bradley Cooper, Vin Diesel, and Tom Hiddleston (who in addition to Hawkeye, also isn't pictured on the poster). And is Ant-Man even supposed to be in the movie at all? I know there's a shitload of people in this film, but still, amazing how such high profile actors can be so glaringly left out of promotion. o.O

      1. Cooper, Diesel and Hiddleston are listed below the title, along with Elba and Peter Dinklage, apparently. Rudd and Renner are nowhere to be seen on that poster. I hear Renner is actually in the movie so what the hell, he is an Academy Award nominated person. What the fuck did Pratt ever accomplish other than showing himself to be a colossal asshole. He has an amazing agent.

    9. Hey hey, thanks for the shout out/link. Wow, mine is at the top hehe =P

      So 'The Love Witch?' is good? I have it on my PC but haven't watched it.

      Interesting thoughts on Annihilation. Your points about budgets and the industry in general is EXACTLY what I think. How much money went into the new Avengers shit compared to Annihilation?

      When they showed the scenes of her cheating, I instantly thought of you hahaha!! Brilliant. I have seen the movie five times now and I could go another five. That video on the camcorder though, goddamn it truly haunts me.

      Oh, and thanks for the apology!! Goddamn if that prick moved to my city I'd be done for assault at the very least. Seems though he has picked Sydney, which is the obvious choice really.

      take care, that sucks about the skin thing. =//

      1. Oh it's very good. Very unique. It's so low budget but it looks gorgeous, the director and her team actually made a bunch of decorations and costumes themselves.

        I think Annihilation was about 30mil budget? Avengers was apparently 500mil, it's insane

        Oh man you are lucky I only had the time to see it once :/

        Apparently he is not moving, so you are safe :)

    10. "Slide into my trench, sir." There's so much in these five word. Wow.

      I also love Hawai'i so much. But, I suppose it's for vastly different reasons.

      As excited as I am for A Quiet Place, I equally not stoked to see whatever the Hell the next Fantastic Beasts movie is called. I'm probably going to see it, sure...but I'd rather cock my head to one side and flirt with a magical hippo instead.

      All this JM talk, guess I gotta repay you for Paddington and fire up the bad batch tonight. And I'm afraid when that Aquaman trailer finally drops, three kids ain't gonna be enough. You might end up with quaduplets.

      Did I spell that right? Nevermind.

      THANKS FOR THE LINK! (Game Night is soooo gotta see it. And I'll tear my house about for Frost/Nixon)

      1. I think it's romantic what I wrote :D

        Oh God that hippo scene. It haunts me. Oh, it haunts me.

        Also can you imagine how fucking weird it's gonna be in the cinema for this? Utter silence for so much of it. All you can hear is assholes in the audience eating like they were just let out of prison. I hate that.

        Yeah you need to watch a lot of Jason stuff for me suffering through that :P It was a great movie, but goddamn so nerve-wracking. I cannot wait for you to see the Bad Batch. It's completely insane.

    11. I feel like I heard somewhere that Renner is out of the Marvel stuff, which... both good for him and also... what a stupid idiot (not that we didn't know this already, but still).

      Affleck and Damon just need to fucking stop. NOW. Or ten years ago, whichever comes first.

      I LOVED Paddington Bear as a kid, but I cannot bring myself to watch the movies because I know what Toy Story 3 did to me and I will NOT put myself in a situation where I am audibly bawling my eyes out in a theater full of children EVER AGAIN.

      You really need to put a Momoa Warning on these posts if you are going to have such hot gifs of him hitting things included. I am not trying to become the star of a real-life mpreg story here LOL!

      1. Affleck and Damon are unstoppable. That stupidity and shameless cannot be stopped.

        Yeah that is accurate description, but you can watch them in the privacy of your home :)

        If anyone is getting pregnant by that's me :P