Friday, April 6, 2018

(333) The poster we deserve + links

By sati (harlequinade) Friday, April 6, 2018
  • A bird shat all over Matt Damon this week and it's the best thing that happened during last seven days. 
  • No, no. 
  • It's the best thing that happened in months.
  • A bird was literally flying over, spotted this twat and was like "nope" and shat all over him.
  • This is glorious.
  • This actually happened when Damon was vacationing in Australia, on the heels of threatening to move there. And he was lunching with Chris Hemsworth who, considering he is not a garbage person, was not pooped on.
  • Australia doesn't want you. Go home, asshole.
  • So Tye Sheridan had this to say about MCU: Something that’s getting old with those universes and all the Marvel movies is that they all look the same and they’re all doing the same thing. We really wanted to shake it up, in that sense, and take a different approach to this. Simon Kinberg, who wrote the past three X-Men, directed Dark Phoenix, and I’m super, super excited about it. I think it will turn out well and that it will be a different X-Men than we’ve ever seen before, so that’s exciting.
  • Yeah....
  • This is his new bosses over at Disney rn --->
  • Take that statement along with the fact there is nothing interesting about this actor and it's pretty much given he ain't reprising anything in that franchise. You don't bite Mouse's hand. Ever.
  • I doubt MCU is even gonna use any of the actors from the mess over at Fox. And Sheridan is one of those many young actors Hollywood is getting from indie movies or TV series and putting in big blockbusters. The problem is they are all bland and interchangeable. The kid playing Han Solo is actually one of the more charismatic ones out of those so the state of affairs is really bad. 
  • Also yes, I am sure that the film that has now been postponed twice and the second X-Men movie to follow the masterpiece that is Logan is gonna be good and "something we never seen before". 
  • That is as plausible as me banging Aquaman tonight. That is so totally happening
  • While the bird shitting on Damon is THE event of the week here comes THE image of the week:
  • Captain America butt pose poster for Infinity War.
  • Oh my God. I was reading about Aquaman test screening reactions (that is screening number 2, this time they did it for people who aren't CBM fans and the people loved it!) and literally did this when I saw it.
  • I think Infinity War is gonna top The Force Awakens opening weekend numbers now. With a butt shot like that I ain't just going, I AM RUNNING to that cinema on Friday 27th.
  • Please don't kill him off now that I care because he has a nice beard and butt. Pretty please?
  • Look at this shit!
  • Kinky trumps blue eyes and blonde hair, always.
  • I'll see Brittani's sit on his face tweet from last week and I raise her this one
  • I'm gonna watch everything now, aren't I. That fucking thing from last year where he is a single parent or something. That shit Anna Faris comedy. That thing that is a parody of stupid teenage flicks in which he is like 20 years old so I will feel not only like a pervert but also like it's time for my hip replacement surgery solely because I am now older than this dude was in that movie.
  • WHY?
  • It's gonna be so fucking awkward in December when I'm still pregnant with Evans baby after watching this and Jason knocks me up through my eyes when I see Aquaman. 
  • Meanwhile, in real life, horrific mustache thing is still happening and between that and this, it's like Chris and Tom conspire to kill off their fangirls.
  • And here's IMAX poster for Infinity War. Still no Hakwye. What - and to whom - did Renner do? Did he take a shit at Kevin Feige's rug that really tied the room together?
  • Russo brothers don't want the movie to be spoiled.  
  • Again, as plausible as me banging Aquaman tonight. 
  • Underwater. 
  • While I'm waving to dolphins and such. 
  • We need feral boo now. Here's another leaked photo from Justice League --->
  • How? And why? 
  • That new Nicole Kidman/Elle Fanning looks like garbage. First The Beguiled, now this.
  • Tacky new poster for Sicario 2. Test screenings went so well yet Sony is determined to do whatever damage they can with this horrid marketing campaign. 
  • We need to take a moment to take a look at what J-boo is doing to promote his new album (1,2,3).  I already bough the album. He needs to shave that beard. I love beards but God Almighty this is pubes not a beard.
  • He is so gonna get murdered while hitchhiking.
  • So I continued my MCU marathon:
  • I finally saw Guardians of the Galaxy vol. 2.Well, I am shocked because that was absolutely delightful! I didn't even mind Chris Pratt. The movie was so entertaining, it was so well done (that opening credits sequence was pure magic), and the relationships between the characters were so brilliantly portrayed. I loved Drax and Mantis and I hope he stops being mean to her and they hook up. Nebula and Gomora's story arc was so good. And of course Baby Groot! Watching him being scared or getting hurt was even worse than watching Paddington have unpleasant experiences. My God was he adorable! It's such a shame he is gonna be older in Infinity War. Is this feeling I'm feeling what parents feel when their little ones are growing up?
  • Black Panther. is it different from all the other MCU films? It ain't. They are all the same - there's origin story, there's villain, the hero wins, the end. It's not a bad thing, not everything can be Logan. The cast was great, particularly Danai Gurira. Her character was so badass and she was hilarious!
  • Iron Man 3....yeah: no. It was fun enough, but there was just too much forced humor. That whole thing with making Pepper super strong for final sequence was ridiculous and Guy Pearce and Rebecca Hall were given such thankless roles. Stark's narration was also so cringy and cheesy and didn't fir the movie well. 
  • Thor: The Dark World - that gets such bad reputation and it's really not deserved. Yes, it's one of the worse MCU movies but it's still well done - the music is one of the better ones in MCU and Frigga's funeral is a gorgeous sequence. I do hate how they progressively ruined what was such a nice romance in Thor between him and Jane. I don't know why they did that. Did Portman want out? It's such a shame.
  • Captain America: The First Avenger -  I liked the ballsy ending - I think it was the only time MCU movie ended on a sad note - but the film was so-so. I have Visual Parallels post done for this and Wonder Woman (I'll publish on Monday) and it's disappointing that there wasn't even a lot of hero shots of Cap in his outfit with his shield. But the film had plenty of heart and that scene with him throwing himself at the grenade was so moving. 
  • Ant-Man - this is one of my favorites in MCU. The parallels between Hank and Scott doing everything they can for their daughters are so lovely. The film has so much heart, it's so charming and so quirky. And we all love Paul Rudd.
  • Do we need gifs of his abs?
  • Stupid question. OF COURSE WE DO:
  • oh and Paul Rudd is celebrating his 49 birthday today! FORTY NINTH!!!??
  • I finally watched The Crown. Yes, I watched the whole two seasons this week. I really cannot believe Gary Oldman won Oscar for his take on Churchill when John Lithgow did it so much better in that show just one year before that dull movie. He actually came off as human being and not an actor playing dress up. Claire Foy is mesmerizing as Elizabeth and no wonder the Queen herself likes the show given how they are portraying her as this very strong, fair and sympathetic person. The entire cast is stellar but the show is not making it any easier for me to find Matt Smith less creepy. The Kennedys episode was especially wonderfully written and I cannot wait for season 3.
  • Tonight I will watch Puncture.
  • Because of course I will.
  • and finally, for all of you to start weekend well
  • m.brown reviews Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri
  • Alex breaks down Steven Soderbergh’s Three-Shot Rule
  • Keith reviews Logan Lucky
  • Brittani tried and failed to watch Suburbicon in its awful entirety 
  • Sonia reviews Miss Sloane
  • Daniel shares his top 10 of 2017
  • Katy shares 5 things to do before Infinity War
  • Dell reviews Professor Marston and the Wonder Women


    1. lmao at the gif of Mark protecting himself. You're going to have fun falling down the Chris Evans rabbit hole. If you need support, be sure to tweet me.

      That deer gif is hysterical.

      Thanks for linking my post! <3

      1. I need support, but of professional kind lol

        I have a feeling that hole is very deep and full of sunshine.

    2. Yay, you're now into Chris Evans! One of us, one of us...

    3. lol the link you gave me.

      Tye Sheridan - gurl, bye If you're not Logan or Deadpool Fox has not offered anything new in a long time. I actually think the only person who has a chance at keeping their existing character and bringing it to the MCU is Ryan Reynolds. Hugh Jackman I suppose to if he comes out of retirement, but all of the actors in the new crop of X-Men movies can go.

      I also think Dark World gets way too much hate, I liked it a lot. Black Panther was genius, IMO though. The amount of nuance in that movie, even if it followed a formula we never see African superheroes and fully traditional African cast/costumes/etc. I can't stop raving about that movie, I love it. lol

      Fuck Iron Man 3

      I'm so glad you finally watched The Crown and can appreciate how much better Lithgow was than Oldman.

      Chris Evans is EVERYONE'S TYPE!!

      1. You should have at least endured enough to see Isaac :)

        The costumes in Black Panther were lovely. I saw a twitter thread about how much influence is in them and how well researched they were. Iron Man 3 is not good at all. I mean it's fun enough but for the final chapter for Tony it's really disappointing. And i know you hate that kid, yeah that subplot was really cliche and tired.

        Well he is blonde and blue eyed! I like my boos dark and somewhat savage :D

    4. Your take on the Matt Damon story is hilarious.

      Glad you liked GotG2 and Ant-Man. Both crack me up and are very entertaining.

      I agree about the marketing for Sicario 2. They have no clue what they're doing.

      Thanks for the link!

      1. That Matt Damon story is literally a gift from heavens :)

    5. A bird takes a dump on Matt Damon. Oh, I bet Jimmy Kimmel did a story on that.

      Don't trust test-screening results. I never do. They'll say this film is great and such but then the studio will fuck with it and then the final product is often shit.

      Chris Evans does have a nice butt and Thor: The Dark World is awesome as is Ant-Man. I like Tye Sheridan but he's so fucking wrong about the MCU. Besides, I'm nearly finished with my 10 Reasons piece on the MCU that will come maybe in a week or two as there's some things I need to edit.

      I love Baby Groot.

      1. I don't think they will mess with Wan. He made them a lot of money.

        Baby Groot is just the best! I wish he teamed up with Ant Man :)

    6. I'm so glad you got to see Guardians 2! It was honestly one of my favorite movies from 2017 (as it made my top 10 list), because of everything you said. I actually liked it more than volume 1 too.

      1. I think I like Vol 1 slightly better but they are both in my top 5 mcu. Awesome films, and the supporting characters are such joy

    7. Gotta love that bird!

      I'm seeing that butt on the 25th :D btw I'm glad you liked Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2 and Ant-Man. I should really rewatch those two.

      If Paul Rudd is 49 I'm 5. Seriously that man does not age!

      Thanks for the link!

      1. Even if there was some sort of gay porn involving a number of my boos in it I cannot imagine having energy to go see anything mid-week so Friday it is :D

    8. I’m currently watching The Crown and am hooked on it.

      1. It's so addictive! cannot wait for season 3

    9. Baby Groot is awesome! I honestly thought that Thor: The Dark World was well-received, I guess I was wrong. I liked it, nonetheless. Thor and Jane's romance though - my fave from the MCU romances.

      1. Yes! They had such excellent chemistry and it was so romantic. It's a shame how Jane was just written out of the franchise

    10. How is Paul Rudd that old?! I swear he hasn't aged a day since Clueless!

      1. He is like Isabella Rosselini in Death Becomes Her

    11. A bird shat on Damon. That is all I need to make my day!! Hahahahaha!!

      Matt Dayyyyyymon. Hehehe :P