Friday, May 11, 2018

(338) Take me to church + links

By sati (harlequinade) Friday, May 11, 2018

  • ...and please leave me there because I clearly need Jesus (1,2).
  • So one of our favorite things of the year happened this week. MET Gala. That magical evening where celebrities look like total clowns. This year the theme was Heavenly Bodies so you can imagine how bad it got.

  • Madonna was walking around butchering Cohen's Hallelujah in there. These people are out of whack.
  • But the real story is Chadwick.
  • There is just no elegant way to say this. I don't think I even need to say it because IT is pretty damn visible.
  • Jesus Christ, Shuri really hit the bar, didn't she?
  • There is so much to comment on recently revealed salaries of actors. I find Jordan's performances to be overrated also come on, not enough people know who he is to warrant this kind of money. The less is said about anyone actually paying Pratt to do anything, the better. Get that mil per minute, Downey! Lawrence keeps getting rich by starring in disgusting, misogynistic trash. Again, what a waste it is that she is not working with Robbie and Tarantino now. I'm not gonna question Anne making 15 mil for Barbie, she is certainly the one who should be making money as she is yet to make any horrifying statements or career choices. Diesel? 20 mil? Really?
  • But there is someone out there who deserves lots of money. And she is getting it
  • For fuck's sake. There are children dying of cancer every day and this despicable garbage is still alive
  • In other happy news, Margot Robbie confirmed she is a disgrace.
  • Gross.
  • Westworld ratings hit all time low. I'm not surprised. So far I found the time and energy to watch 10 minutes of the premiere. But it's me. If by some miracle I find free time in the evening I am going to bed early, I ain't watching anything.
  • So The Predator trailer dropped and it is bad. But it doesn't matter. We all know I am seeing it because Boyd Holbrook is in it. This shot:
  • all it takes to get me to that cinema,
  • Yet another creeptastic trailer for Hereditary.
  • Deadpool 2 reactions are very positive, but this is really the only one we need. 
  • Solo also got very positive reactions. There is also a cameo which is shocking and very puzzling. It's really a shame no one is making a documentary about me. This kind of shit should be filmed and studied by psychiatrists. 
  • What the fuck is up with all those TV series cancellations today? I don't watch any of these shows but DAMN!
  • There's gonna be Hitman's Bodyguard sequel. I really enjoyed the first movie so I'm quite looking forward to it. Samuel L. Jackson's reaction to Reynolds flying through the car window was one of the funniest things last year.
  • Peter Capaldi is gonna be in Armando Iannucci's next movie. The project doesn't seem nowhere near as filthy as it should be from these two but still, this is awesome.
  • Seriously, Dwayne Johnson is a treasure.
  • I watched Game Night, it was really fun! It was extremely well shot for a comedy and Cliff Martinez's score was sublime, as his scores always are. The film had really amazing references and the cast did a wonderful job. Rachel McAdams is just the cutest, but Jesse Plemmons and Lamorne Morris stole the show. I almost died at "Eyes Wide Fight Club" line. The bit with the dog and the carpet was so damn funny too, I actually laughed out loud at that.
  • Here's Paramount straight up trolling WB on Henry Cavill's birthday.
  • Hey, speaking of Cavill, look what Getter did to me this week.
  • Please no. What is this? Avengers or Pokemon?
  • Annette Bening joined Captain Marvel
  • Turns out that amazing Infinity War moment was improvised.
  • James Gunn keeps using his twitter to depress the fuck out of people.
  • Depressed now? Here's something precious.
  • So Chris it the kind of celebrity who remembers which little girl gave him what gift:
  • I hate so much about the things you choose to be.
  • Also let's just go to NYC with like a huge bag of jelly beans, ladies.
  • I've seen some shit this week. Yet another proof that I could be much, much worse.
  • But if you think Stucky fans are bad, check this out.
  • "she felt her baby banish".
  • I can't even.
  • I saw Push and of course livetweeted it. It was dumb as hell but good God, Chris.
  • Chris and other 4 main Avengers actors actors minus Ruffalo got matching tattoos. I maintain it's because Ruffalo's spoiling habits resulted in Disney locking him up somewhere. He is probably writing the word "HELP" with feces on the walls right now.
  • And Chris tattooed the artist himself. And he looked at the dog lovingly.
  • This is all very important news that I'm bringing you right now.
  • Paul Rudd went to see the stache in person. 
  • Yes, I am a grown up and an extremely serious person with an extremely serious job in real life.
  • I had to take a coffee break and I stared outside the window, catatonic, for like 15 minutes.
  • Peak journalism from TMZ today - "Aquaman was riding his motorcycle along the Malibu coast Thursday and Mr. Adonis actually outdid himself without having to flash his washboard abs or heart-melting smile. Jason's a motorcycle enthusiast, so it's no wonder he's got the bike gear down to a T. Jason later pulled into a gas station and pumped some gas ... proving Jason can make even the most menial task look like art. And thank the mighty stars he pulled into the station ... cause he took off his helmet and flashed his mane and that smile. BTW ... Jasons' gotta be the guy George Thorogood was singing about in "Bad to the Bone," right? One look at Jason riding his bike and no doubt dude's broken at least 1,000 hearts. No word if nurses gathered around the day he was born"
  • I know you guys think I'm kidding but I am really afraid of what will happen to me when that Aquaman trailer drops. I may never return to Earth again.
  • Sonia reviews Game Night
  • Brittani and Getter choose their Cannes favorites
  • Courtney reviews Tully
  • and finally get your sexy assess over to the home of the world's greatest reviews to wish Mario happy blog birthday!

  • Mantis: "puppy"
    Thor: "rabbit"
    My mom upon seeing IW TV spot : "Why is there a wolf in this movie?"
    and now...



    1. Yaasss king (Chadwick) lol. Blake Lively's dress was gorgeous at the MET.

      Chris Pratt hasn't even been famous for a decade and he's getting a generation award? Lol

      Chris and Rudd are so hot.

      Westworld is great I'm not sure why the ratings are so low, do people not get it? Lol

      Thanks for the link!

      1. Maybe like me they rather watch stupid shit or rewatch the Office again :) I will try to binge first 3 episodes today :)

    2. The Met Gala wasn't too bad this year. Chadwick and Zendaya ultimately saved it for me.

      Those salaries make so freaking depressed. BUT GET THAT MONEY PATTY. Annette needs to get that Marvel money and visibility too. lol

      Happy to hear Solo is getting positive reviews since nobody was expecting anything. Also, I'm going to start a SW marathon, so I need it to pay off. lol

      Batista's so underrated.

      Black Widow is pregnant with Steve's baby WHAT?! 0_o

      Thanks for reminding me to watch Hitman's Bodyguard and Game Night. :P

      I'm stealing "I've seen some shit this week". lol

      That video of Chris tattooing the artist gave me so much life - he was so concentrated, and then so relieved "Okay, I didn't mess this up!" *sits in a corner and cries*

      1. Hitman's Bodyguard and Game Night are both funny and worth seeing though the latter is definitely a better movie :)

        Chris is so nervous in that video :) I wonder why Ruffalo didn't get one, but my explanation is as good as any

    3. I've been so busy planning a trip and being anxious I barely saw pics of the MET Gala. Chadwick slayed it though

      I'm glad Solo is getting positive reviews but I think I'll sit this one out. Kinda tired of wasting money on Star Wars films. Also, I'm watching Deadpool on Wednesday and movies are so expensive here :(

      I'm thrilled The Hitman's Bodyguard is getting a sequel

      Westworld isn't that good in my opinion. I had to watch episode 2 twice because the first time I wasn't that focused, and episode 3 bored the shit out of me

      Thanks for the link!

      1. I caught up with the episodes yesterday and they were good other than the premiere which was so damn boring but it's kinda embarrassing how yet again reddit is ahead of them. At some point that is just silly when people can predict the twists episodes away

    4. Pretty cool the original Avengers cast got matching tattoos. Ruffalo needs to get in on that already.

      1. I think Ruffalo really may be locked up somewhere :)

    5. jared leto really DOES look like he just casually walked into met gala unknowingly

      1. He legit looks like this every day, if not more insane

    6. That Hugh Jackman reaction video to Deadpool 2 IS everything. He's so genuine and absolutely sweet! I love him!

      And, that improvised scene from Drax makes me love the Guardians even more! They were my favorite part of Infinity War...without a doubt.

      1. Hugh's videos are super cute :)

        Guardians are so dope shame Pratt is in that group tho

      2. I can overlook Pratt...I'm totally in love with all humor that comes from Drax and the rest of the ensemble haha. Drax slays with every. single. line. MVP for sure.

      3. Yeah Drax is awesome, I loved him and Mantis in Vol 2 hopefully they will explore that in next part

    7. I LOVE how crazy Frances McDormand got on that Met Gala red carpet! And Chadwick... that is GLORIOUS.

      I can't see Peter Capaldi in anything that doesn't involve him swearing a mile a minute. Even after his time on Doctor Who.

      Dwayne Johnson is just God's gift. Do you think he knows how many women he got pregnant just writing that tweet?

      I thought Game Night was fine; it didn't quite tickle my funny bone as much as I was hoping. Although Billy Magnussen plays dumb SO brilliantly. And you're right, Rachel McAdams is just the cutest. Love her so much (and holy hell is she brilliant in Disobedience)!

      Henry Cavill is too handsome for words. And that's without the mustache. WITH the mustache, he is somehow EVEN HOTTER?!? And I am not always down with mustaches. But DAMN. That man. I'm sorry, my office must have just been hit by a heatwave, because I am ALL wet.

      Is Evans even capable of not being perfect every damn second? I can't keep up!

      1. I think Chadwick turned few people towards God with that look lol

        Same. It was just odd seeing him in Paddington without unleashing massive tirade

        I think he suspects that but still he has a long way to Jason. That one KNOWS just how much he is ruining lives. You can literally see pride and joy in his eyes

        I agree Cavill is even hotter with that mustache. I legit fear that new Mission Impossible trailer tomorrow

    8. Why is the Met Gala something people care about? No lie, I really have no f--king clue. I should just probably do some research and inform myself, but it looks like a bunch of rich people being extra ridiculous. And what the Hell is with that theme?

      Man, good for Patty Jenkins. That's f--king fantastic. Hopefully the sequel is half as good as the first one. Because if it's better, I probably won't make it out of the theater. (with my pants)

      HOLY SHIT that Paddington/Rocket comment is the stuff of legend. If that story is true I need to meet everybody involved and just spend my summer admiring the fact that there is someone on the planet that thought Paddington would ever, ever, ever...say such things, let alone shoot motherf--kers and seemingly enjoy it. Just...amazing.

      Rachel McAdams is the best, especially in Game Night. The part where she's jamming the gun in everyone's faces still makes me laugh. And, yes, Jessie Plemmons stole that shit.

      Thank you...thank you...THANK YOU...for linking and getting people and their sexy asses over to TDC. I'll say it again, I couldn't/wouldn't do it without you. So nice...

      1. Well the fact it's bunch of people being extra ridiculous is why people care :D

        You always refer to pants being missing. What is going to happen? Will they fly off and leave the orbit? Will they dissolve?

        I think Paddington would enjoy shooting motherfuckers if they forgot their manners :)

        Yes I'm a freaking angel lol

    9. Chris Evans is such a good guy, you can just tell. Love that dude. And I'm so happy you liked Game Night! I thought it was so much better than most movies of that kind (I agree that Martinez score was great).

      1. It was definitely one of the most interestingly shot and scored comedies I saw in the last few years. The cast was incredible too!

    10. Game Night sounds fun, and looks entertaining from the trailer I just watched. Plus, I usually like Cliff Martinez's scores.

    11. "The less is said about anyone actually paying Pratt to do anything, the better."

      Oh god, amen. God I hate that twat and I don't know why.

      Tho I must admit, your comment on WP confused me. I still don't understand why Mute was sexist. By similar logic, Fantastic Mr Fox was sexist because the only female character was a wife/caretaker. Is that sexist? It wasn't a decade ago!

      1. You hate someone but you dont know why?

        No offense but I am not surprised. You laughed during Red Sparrow and that was a disgusting movie. Mute completely marginalized the lead female character which plot wise made sense at first but then used her to do a twist/connection for very weak reason and she was killed off. If u dont see it then I dont know how to help you. And really I am done explaining it as I already did

      2. I must have missed where you explained that in detail -re Mute, i guess it was WP being retarded. I see what your are saying for sure, I just don't get how it is sexist considering the basic tropes it was based on. The ending though was very strange.

        What if it was reversed, with a male as the female character? Would that be sexist? Not trying to be a prick, honest question. If it was totally reversed re- gender? I know that wld be a totally different scenario, just curious of your thoughts.

        Also, I thought the same about Red Sparrow in hindsight. I just found Lawrence's acting laughable. It wasn't till later I realised how awful it was. And now I am seeing 4k versions on the scene. Sad really.

      3. Oh and I think I dislike Prett because of his role on that Parks sitcom. I dunno why but his acting just gave me the shits!! And he doesn't seemed to have changed it up much, which kinda sucks. That's just me tho

      4. The only "people who would find that reversal sexist would be MRA and other scum of the Earth.

    12. Oh btw loved that you liked Game Night!! I loved it and though Bateman did a great job, along with the creepy neighbour and everyone else too. Good stuff and a comedy outside the box

      1. I am not that fond of Bateman but he was fine here

      2. I can't get his Arrested Development role out of my head! I'm not that fond of him but I thought that movie was really fun. Somethin different for a comedy.