Friday, August 3, 2018

(349) Like a Turd in the Wind + links

By sati (harlequinade) Friday, August 3, 2018
  • (I have been providing quality content like insane over the last few days and so little interest in last RF?! You guys should be out there spamming the comment section with how awesome Aquaman trailer is and how it changed your lives for the better!)
  • First of all, spectacular poster for Apostle. This is from the director of The Raid movies, starring Dan Stevens and Michael Sheen and that poster is splendid. The word "Netflix" is a huge warning sign, obviously but hopefully, somehow, this will be good.
  • For my rant about James Gunn and Guardians of the Garbage - click here. I wasn't even planning on writing a s separate post about this. I was working on RF draft and suddenly I had 12 bullet points on that mess so I was like well OK, this needs to be a separate post.
  • So again, Sharp Objects recap is coming on Sunday.
  • Early morning on Wednesday there was news that Chris Evans, Chris Hemsworth, Robert Downey Jr., Zendaya, Don Cheadle and Tom Hiddleston unfollowed Gunn. Then Evans and Cheadle sent tweets denying they unfollowed Gunn. So they give no statement about whether they are for or against firing but they go on to tweet about this. Seems like Chris Evans is only outspoken when it suits him. Ironic he talked about kicking the beehives because that is exactly what he did with that tweet. Couldn't just tweet "I never followed him". No, boi gotta try throw some shade even though unless he actually gives his opinion on Gunn's tweets he is in no position to dish out sarcasm. 
  • I swear Gunn's tweets created a vortex of trash and most of MCU actors are going to fall in it being dumbass celebrities and doing what they do. I was going to rewatch Infinity War this week but decided not to because I am legitimately tired of all these people. 
  • Speaking of hypocrisy, Jessica Chastain's new project is this. Now look at this dude's wikipedia page. What the hell is wrong with Chastain and/or her people?! First she claims she didn't know Singer produced Dark Phoenix. Now this?! How incompetent and/or hypocritical is this chick?
  • Now let's dive even deeper into gross because Johnny 9 Digits rolled out of dumpster long enough to throw some trash at Amber Heard. So he is now claiming that she punched him twice in the face. Good. I hope she did, I wish she cut his dick off. Wasn't there an NDA that they cannot talk about this? As in the NDA JK Trash I bait gay fanbase to score points Rowling used as a shield no to take any stance? Oh noes. If Dumpster Johnny is mouthing off then JK surely can be made to talk now? 
  • She is such a lovely person I'm sure she has sympathy for abuse victims. 
  • Sarcasm sign.
  • I am now purposefully not seeing Fantastic Beasts in cinema. Depp breaking NDA and using that against Amber and his psycho fans (who are by the way mostly teen girls and they are oh so very simple) defending him and lashing out on people is just gross. He ripped clumps of hair off her head, for God's sake. She has witnesses too.
  • This Saturday I managed to see Fallout which was awesome. It's definitely the best Mission Impossible flick. The stunts were insane, the film was entertaining, the cast did a great job and honestly it was surprising how slick and elegant the film was. There were a lot of dream scenes and twists and the music was epic but also stirring and that's why it really feels like a Nolan film, especially with the sheer scope of many scenes and the director's remarkable control over it.
  • Henry "Thunderstruck" (I laughed so freaking hard) Cavill was pretty good but the fact he is reportedly trying to use this as bargaining chip in his negotiations with WB is quite funny. Still, it was distracting how good looking he was. I cannot believe that French policewoman kept aiming her gun at them after he smiled at her.
  • Thank God this didn't happen. Not everything has to be dark and covered with several layers of doom and gloom. I really like Cruise's Ethan Hunt - he is a good guy and he is likable. You need a protagonist like that in spy films like that series.
  • I also rewatched Pineapple Express (Amber Heard was so young there, she looked completely different!) and This is the End.  Which now Netflix took down to put stuff like that apocalypse movie with Louis from Ant-Man. What the fuck, man.
  • So I rewatched Suicide Squad. Why do I do these things to myself?
  • Yesterday I saw First Reformed which was absolutely brilliant and is my favorite movie of the year so far. I will write a longer post about it but see it, it's amazing! All I will say for now is that Ethan Hawke should be winning all the awards for this, I don't care how much Gosling wanders around and how much Cooper sings in their Oscar baits this year.
  • First photo from next Terminator, the only movie with the continuity more confusing than the X-Men franchise. It would actually be better if Cameron directed it. Last I heard he is training children how to hold their breath underwater for as long as they can for Avatar sequels....considering he nearly drowned Ed Harris in the 80's I'd rather he just dropped that insanity and directed this one.
  • Ari Aster is making another pagan cult movie. Here come the nightmares again. 
  • Our first look at Tessa Thompson in that next Men in Black movie. Also Rebecca Ferguson was cast in the film!
  • We have our first look at Pedro Pascal in Wonder Woman 1984. We still don't know who he is playing but I'm sure we are all excited.
  • The new trailer for Venom. It's actually even more awful than the last one. But it is awful in an incredible way. In 'can't look away it's so fucking terrible' way. I am actually psyched for this one now, it looks like it may come close to the absolute masterpiece of trashfire that always makes me laugh. 
  • I am talking of course about Wicker Man remake with Nicolas Cage. The masterpiece of unintentional comedy. I truly don't think Nicolas Cage in a bear costume running up to a woman and punching her in the face will ever be topped, in any movie. 
  • Hardy looks like he having some sort of an episode WHILE trying to re-create his Boston accent from The Drop. He comes off sounding like Tommy Wiseau and fucking hell it's something to witness. The words he says also seem cut from various lines in the movie to form other lines and it is amazing how awful it is. Then there's Sony logo which as we all know spells disaster. Riz Ahmed is on autopilot playing the villain. Shot of sym-bye-ote attaching itself to some dude's junk because why not. Then that hilarious moment Hardy sees Venom's reflection in car window and *puts hand to mouth* like he forgot to turn off the oven in his house or just shat himself. Terrible sound editing - the lines are actually out of sync with actors saying them. Michelle Williams in a wig, running in a sexy skirt, trying to get that CBM cash money. Some kind of CGI mayhem which looks so bad it is almost glorious. And of course instantly iconique "TURD IN THE WIND".
  • Turd in the wind, you guys.
  • I have been singing "Dust in the wind" replacing "dust" with "turd" all week long.
  • Another horrific photo of Hardy as Al Capone. Why.
  • Here's Hardy trying to bring back the hot on the cover of next month's Esquire --->
  • Tom, we saw you pick your nose. It's over, man.
  • The Meg marketing campaign is pretty awesome.
  • So they are making that Fox News movie with Charlize Theron. First the news broke Kidman joined the cast. Now Margot Robbie also joined. There's something as too much beauty. And that movie is going to be it.
  • It has been confirmed that Suspiria is over 2,5h which from what I heard it's really not a good idea. The script was not that lengthy so unless they added a lot of stuff while shooting not only is that thing getting booed in Venice but there will be walkouts too. Also it is now practically confirmed that Tilda Swinton plays three roles in the movie.
  • Has there ever been a horror movie as anticipated as the sequel to It? The cast is absolutely terrific. Here's Sophia Lillis and Jessica Chastain on the set.
  • We had heatwave here this week so I'll cut the pervy part to minimum. But it was another difficult week for my ovaries - 1,2,3,4
  • Courtney reviews Sorry to Bother You
  • Adrian writes about best cinematic bathroom fights
  • Mario reviews The First Purge
  • Keith and Katy review Mission: Impossible - Fallout
  • Sonia writes about Young Adult



    1. Dude...literally EVERYONE is talking about Fallout. I had zero interest in seeing it, but now I kind of feel obligated.

      Also, those gifs of Hemsworth...swoon.

    2. You know, now that you bring up Wicker Man I'm looking at Venom in a completely different way. Before I was like "how much is this going to make me cringe? Now I'm more along the lines of "I should get drunk and watch this first."

    3. Fallout owns my ass. lol It's definitely one of my top favorites of Mission: Impossible and of the year. It worries me now that the next director might make Ethan darker just to make him darker. He's not a character who has to act like the villains to learn about his own limitations, especially after six movies. McQuarrie's original idea was interesting, but they're not what the franchise is about. I'm extremely happy common sense prevailed, even if some of the cool shots from the original trailer isn't in the final movie. //end novel lol Thanks for linking my review!! <3

      *Karen The Office gif* Tessa Thompson

      I'm so over Fantastic Beasts right now.

      I don't know if I can ever look at Tom Hardy the same way again after the nose-picking and now Venom. His accents have to be the most hypnotizing and ridiculous part of his career. lol

      1. I wonder if Hardy even remembers what his own voice and accent sound like. The man just keep sounding increasingly bizarre with each movie. It's so fascinating, actually :)

    4. Chastain and her people are dumb af

      Damn, I can't believe I have to wait till the end of this freaking month to see Fallout :( at least I'm seeing Ant-Man and the Wasp soon-ish

      HOLY SHIT! Tom Hardy does really sound like Tommy Wiseau with that accent lol for the first time ever I'll be happy with my country's obsession with dubbing every single movie

      Thanks for the link!

      1. Yeah it's been days, still no statement! A bunch of people tweeted at her to say something and nothing.

        It's worth the wait :)

        Eh, that's gonna be so funny with him talking like that :) Really looking forward to that ridiculous movie

    5. I wonder how much longer Cruise can keep doing these insane stunts!? He’s 56 and not getting any younger. Thanks for the heads-up on M:I Fallout and First Reformed, two VERY different films I’m looking forward to.

      1. Eh he is in better shape than most people in their 20's :)

    6. Why did the one movie I have ever fallen asleep during have to be the one that everyone s raving about?!
      I absolutely cannot bloody wait to see First Reformed but nowhere near me is showing it!

      1. It's out on VOD in USA so hopefully UK follows soon!

    7. I SO thought 'turd in the wind' was your creation and referred to chris evans, there's a saying 'like a flag in the wind' if you keep changing your mind conveniently.

      1. My creations tend to be more graphic than turds in the wind :)

    8. Now that you mentioned Tom Hardy in Venom sounding like Tommy Wiseau I can't unhear it. That is DEAD ON.

      I went and paid the ridiculous amount of money to see Fallout in IMAX because apparently I only watch Henry Cavill movies on the biggest damn screen possible. FUCK ME, he was GLORIOUS. I don't even know what happened in the bathroom fight scene because I spent the whole thing looking at his ass in those pants. DAMN. The rest of the movie was really good but the beginning was uncharacteristically slow for this series. I still like Ghost Protocol better overall, but this is definitely as good as Rogue Nation (maybe better? I have to watch Rogue Nation again). I appreciated them bringing Michelle Monaghan back and actually giving her something to do instead of just standing around looking pretty and asking about Ethan.

      Even looking at Chastain and Lillis in the same pictures I don't get that casting. Should have been Amy Adams 100%. The rest of the cast looks pretty perfect, though.

      I cannot fucking WAIT for Suspiria - give me all hundred hours of it. I'm sure I'll be watching at least half of it with my hands over my eyes anyway lol. It totally does seem like the type of film that will get booed at a film festival... and I kind of hope it does? I just love the sense of schadenfreude when a big film gets booed at a festival, whether it deserves it or not.

      1. Yeah Cavill, that bastard, looked really good. I really enjoyed his character, he was hot. Also that was a damn good use of the F word in PG-13 movie when he said that I almost fell off my chair :D

        Given Chastain's recent hypocritical actions I do wish Adams was cast instead. Sophia and Amy are so similiar looking, you should check out Sharp Objects!

        I think it may be booed like mother! was, I don't think there's anything as repugnant as that baby being killed but it's pretty gross, the runtime will piss these people off though :) also there are bold twists in the story which I'm sure some will find utterly ridiculous

    9. Chastain agreeing to do that Eve movie with that director is… odd. I’d be interested to hear her explanation about that.

      I thought Fallout was awesome too! That skydiving scene was so badass.

      “He comes off sounding like Tommy Wiseau and fucking hell it's something to witness." Holy shit, I laughed so hard at that. SOOO true.

      1. Still no explanation, the direction just dropped out and she still didn't say anything

    10. I have disliked Chastain since.. a long time. I don't really remember when, but I guess I had a weird off feeling about her since the beginning. Not really thrilled that she's attached to the It sequel, even though she looks the part, but then again, the damn I'm on a horse guy from Shadowhunters is there too, so I have no idea where he movie will end up. I'm probably more excited for the flashbacks tho. I loved all the kid actors in It.. they were great!

      Oh and that guy's wiki page is horrible, jesus, there's no excuses she could make by taking on that film. It's not like she doesn't have other choices, though, maybe not as much...?

      I disliked the first Fantastic Beast movie so I have no idea if I'd watch the second, maybe for Jude Law, though I wish they switched Depp for Farrell... like erase the first movie's switch and keep Farrell and then all would be good in the world.

      I'm hopefully seeing Fallout tomorrow! I can't wait for the stunts and stuff. I bet it will be very entertaining!

      I watched Andy Samberg's Popstar movie so I mean, I get why we do this to ourselves.. though rewatching Suicide Squad seems way too extreme...

      I'm actually excited for Venom because even if the film will suck, I know Hardy will perform the hell out of it! Also, I'm a big fan of Riz Ahmed, so it's nice to see him too!

      Chris with an umbrella.... my new go to fantasy.

      1. They really should have gone with Adams. At least she is unproblematic in real life and let's face it, she looks more like Sophia than Chastain

        Switching Farrell to Depp was one of the worst things I've seen in my entire life lol

        Oh Fallout is awesome. Cavill is distracting :D

        I never saw that Popstar film but there is no way it's as trashy as the stuff I've been watching lately ^^

    11. First Reformed... I never fail to get good movie recs off ya :D

      I cannot wait to see that Capone movie. Makes me want to watch Legend again cos Tom is soooooo good in that

      1. Legend is good but nowhere near as good as Tom's work in it