There's a wonderful tradition over at the most entertaining blog out there - Mario's TwoDollarCinema - where our dear Mario hosts Mt. Rushmore blogathon for President's Day.
In a shocking twist, in the years past I honored my favorite men - both real and fictional. And in an even more shocking twist this year is not gonna be an exception.
To participate, simply choose the top four of anything cinematic and explain why they should be carved into the side of a mountain forever. Remember, these are real people carved into imaginary rock - so choose wisely!
This year is really funny because while it's a given my entry is gonna be a perverted mess, from what I've seen so far every single person who contributed to Mario's blogathon this year made a truly kinky contribution. We now go to Mario for his reaction:
I actually almost wanna pull a surprise and be the only one who makes a normal post. But nah, the gifs and my beautiful words are ready.
As we all know there are no limits to what I will put myself through to watch an actor I like. I should have my own show where I just watch all of that trash. Because I do. Lovingly. Persistently. Repeatedly. The stuff I watched for Jason Momoa? I'm pretty sure even his wife didn't watch all of this.
And here I go again....vagina first into a dumpster.
What should be carved on the mountain? The proof of my love. Or my brain cells and dignity lost.
So here are the dumbest films I've seen - mind you, all of them in the last two weeks or so - in order to marvel at Blue Eyed Boo (yes, we finally have a boo name!). Also I do not watch stuff where he was younger than 24 cause even for me that's just creepy.
It's not a terrible movie but it is not nearly as good as the first one. However, considering that there is a plot point I'm about to discuss it belongs in dumb movies group.
What makes it dumb? There's a scene where a bunch of girls throws Zac out of the house. This would never ever happen. In any of the known universes. We are all probably gonna ovulate harder than usual when watching him as Ted fucking Bundy so no, no one would ever ask this man to leave.
Standout scene? Seth teaching Zac how to boil eggs. I was in tears.
Hottest moment? That.Fucking.Dance
This had seriously awful trailer but it turned out to be a very entertaining comedy. If there is one thing that without fail always make me laugh it is a grown ass man yelling like a little girl and Adam Devine did that like a pro throughout this movie.
What makes it dumb? Zac actually needed to post an ad to find a date. He probably has tons of panties thrown at him whenever he walks outside BUT SURE HE NEEDED TO POST AN AD.
Standout scene? The series of horror images Mike endures is....quite a sequence
Hottest moment? This shit right here.
So I thought this is gonna be terrible since even our Blogathon host Mario didn't like this - and this stars his favorite Alexandra Daddario - but I had pretty good time watching this movie. Both times I've seen it. In a week's time. The Rock and Zac had awesome chemistry and there were few gags that were very funny, especially miniature Dwayne in the aquarium.
What makes it dumb? Well...to be honest? Everything.
Standout scene? The morgue scene. Oh God.
Hottest moment? Zac being tied up and gagged. I know. There's no hope for me.
Good God almighty. There are no words.
What makes it dumb? I think this film actually transcended awfulness and stupidity and reaches some higher sort of....nightmarish level. I mean there's Zac's bare ass....BUT AT WHAT COST?
Standout scene? There are two instances in this movie where Zac's character gets arrested and every time he gets out, he is wearing leftover clothes from the orgy in the 90's. And both times it's incredible.
Hottest moment? Zac dances to Macarena, completely naked, save for a stuffed hornet toy on his penis.
And now let's start being very afraid of what I will post next year.
YES! Love this post so damn much. I still haven't decided on my theme for the blogathon but I feel like I should join in on the perving...sorry Mario!
ReplyDeleteYES!!!! Let's not break the theme now!
DeleteI can tell by these gifs that Zac is really stretching his acting chops with these films lmao.
ReplyDeleteIt's actually impressive how dumb his character in Baywatch is :)
DeleteBlue Eyed Boo... I dig it!
ReplyDeleteMike and Dave Need Wedding Dates sounds like sci-fi. I mean, in what universe does Zac need to post an ad to find a date?
I rewatched Dirty Grandpa only for the Macarena scene 😅
You should check the movie out, it's so funny!
DeleteThat Macarena scene is....divine :)
What. The. F--k.
ReplyDeleteI'm equal parts furious and delighted at this post. EQUAL. PARTS. Up first, the fury.
I mean, I called this f--ker years ago, and even survived your fury in the midst of it, and now? Now, the withered remains of my twitter feed are covered in steamy pics of the kid from High School Musical. And now there's this Beach Bum fiasco waiting for me in next month? *deep breath* All I can see when I close my eyes is that wicked little girl GIF haunting me....
But now, the delight.
Holy shit this post is hysterical. There seems to be an overwhelming trend in Efron's roles, and I love it. I mean, no matter what the part, at some point, yeah, that shirt's gonna need to come off. (where is the female counterpart to this?) I'm also stoked that I've seen three out of four, because you know, I never really see anything that anyone ever talks about. But do I dare watch Dirty Grandpa? Noooooooo.....no?
Thanks again for not only contributing (and hyping it!!), but basically turning this into perv central. I love it...even if I don't know what I'm gonna do to keep up.
I KNOW! I know, you know me better than I know myself lol :D But it didn't dawn on me before that he is older than me so now it's OK to perv :D But yeah....you are nearing 30, you are exhausted, you rewatch Neighbors and you go "oh, he is very good looking, actually" AND THIS IS HOW IT STARTS. Although I have been a fan of his 'serious' acting since his small moment in A Disaster Artist and I think the wires in my head crossed a bit before I rewatched Neighbors because I was thinking about who could play new Batman and he came to mind and well...here we are lol Add to that he plays a serial killer now and this is exactly the kind of a perfect mess I would stan - "stop hating on him for what he played 15 years ago! it's unfair!". I'm like a perverted mama bear protecting actors people shit on for no good reason
DeleteNOT IN THE GREATEST SHOWMAN THOUGH! The only time he showed some skin was after he almost died in a fire and a bit of shirt burnt off. What the fuck?
You need to witness Dirty Grandpa
I love that you love Zac Effron so much, but you can also acknowledge most of his movies suck. And yes, I admit, he is hot. Can't wait to see the Ted Bundy movie, although I feel it's too....Hollywood? attractive in "a let's make Ted Bundy cool" kind of way? The man was a serial killer after all...
ReplyDeleteI think they are going for that style to recreate how many people back then refused to believe the evidence because they couldn't believe a smart and attractive man would kill women in such an awful way
DeleteIDK if it was a typo but I found Ted Bendy to be quite amusing. I actually kind of liked Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates!! I haven't seen Baywatch yet, but... it looked amusing so I may have to give it a go here soon.
ReplyDeleteoh fuck, it's a typo :) I'll fix it :D This is what happens when I write AFTER I add gifs like that :)
DeleteTED BENDY.
DeleteHe is already making me inappropriately perv out, isn't he :D
DeleteIMHO, yours is the most hilarious entry in this blogathon. Nice to see a woman who's as obsessed with one actor's chest as I am with Adrienne Barbeau's.
ReplyDeleteThank you! Yes, I am known for my....love for actors :)
Delete