Friday, August 2, 2019

(401) Euphoric + links

By sati (harlequinade) Friday, August 2, 2019
  • I'm not actually euphoric since I'm back to work and hating it more than ever. I was already so tired yesterday I tried to open my office door with a credit yeah.
  • Stunning poster and first trailer for The Lighthouse. This is from Robert Eggers' who made one of my all time favorite horror films The VVitch. This one was made with older equipment, to make it look like a film from another era. The cinematography looks truly spectacular and I think maybe it's finally time Dafoe gets that Oscar?
  • Yes, that is a mermaid tail. Yes, there is one in the movie. No, apparently it's not horror horror but more of a psychological drama. Also I am grateful for subtitles in my country because I couldn't understand a single word in that trailer.
  • The Irishman is, apparently, real. And here is the first trailer. I know everyone is shitting themselves over it - and we should, we are getting new Joe Pesci performance after all - but fuck me, that de-aging effect near the end of the trailer was BAD. Rogue One level bad. The eyes are too bright, the skin is too smooth. Hopefully, they will manage to fix it before release. But it's SUCH a gimmick. It distracts from the story and everything else in this.
  • My archenemy is going to strike again.
  • They put Keanu in a bow tie now. This set is out of control batshit.
  • Say what you want about Netflix, but at least they continue to cater porn for me. Also here is Jason looking like the May Queen and doing great things.
  • We have new photos from It: Chapter Two and confirmation that it will be 2h and 45 minutes long. There are a lot of people complaining about this which is ridiculous. So Avengers and Tarantino smelling his farts can be this long but a horror movie can't? Come on!
  • Here's new sneak peek at the movie.
  • The script for the finale of Game of Thrones was published and it's even worse than you can imagine.
  • Look at these (1,2). What is wrong with the Russos? RDJ's ideas probably saved Endgame.

  • I watched all the released episodes of Euphoria and that show is almost as horny as this column is. There's constant fucking, talking about fucking, plotline involving porn, nudity, naked selfies, dick pics, actual dicks, those shady apps people apparently use these days to hook up (how many people out there have VDs now? Jesus Christ) and it's just horrific. Lock up your children, people, they are are out of control.
  • (no wonder Leo "my girlfriends weren't alive yet when Titanic was released" DiCaprio watches it).
  • Because of this, the show is a bit thin on the plot and even though I watched seven episodes I still have trouble keeping track of several characters and who they are and what the hell they are doing. But Zendaya is amazing and she is a great narrator for the series and I really like her character as well as the character of Kat. Also the show looks absolutely stunning and has probably the most impressive cinematography I've ever seen on HBO. Then there are songs which other than the usual trash kids listen to these days are really good, especially this one. Unfortunately, the full song wasn't released yet. Goddamn, HBO. First Barry score is not released and now this.
  • So I finally watched Heathers and it was not for me. It's a clever movie but it had such a smug, pretentious vibe to it. Winona was lovely and there were few cool things in it, but it was just not the kind of humor/writing I enjoy.
  • I also rewatched the first Zombieland and it is such a fun movie but its tone is kinda all over the place. I am hoping the sequel will be better because the premise and the characters are very entertaining. I identified so strongly with Jesse Eisenberg's character who is a total shut in who avoids people and spends Friday evenings alone.
  • Well, at least you guys are getting those posts thanks to that so....yeeeey.
  • Yeah, so Once Upon a Time in Hollywood is even more disgusting than I thought it was gonna be. Here is where I went off. 
  • That said, Brad Pitt elevated the hell out of this "film". The last time an actor carried a movie to such extent was Hardy in Venom. Without Pitt the movie would be completely unwatchable.
  • I watched Parkland which is a movie that stars both Daddy Hopper and Zac Efron. Daddy Hopper plays an FBI agent and Efron plays a doctor. On paper it sounds like porn.
  • Anyways, the film was pretty good and followed the events immediately after JFK's assassination. Neither boo 1 nor boo 2 was in it as much as I'd like but there's never enough for me, is there?
  • I'm on season 2 of The Newsroom right now and David isn't in it much but this scene almost killed me. His expression after the said THAT and "oh, fuck you" were just priceless.
  • God bless this man.
  • 14 seconds of pure sexy.
  • This is the kind of content I have been treating you to on twitter all week long.
  • And there's this.
  • If I could I'd cover him with my own body from those bullets.
  • Remember that edit I linked last week of David on the red carpet? This one is even better.
  • I never listen to podcasts but I listened to this one with David and I learned so many things. It's amazing how joyful and enthusiastic he is and he has been through so much, he was even in mental institution (he has bipolar disorder), he also struggled with alcoholism but now has been sober for 15 years. Just watch how honest this guy is. In all my years of fangirling over actors I never sat down and watched/listened to interviews with someone for hours but I did here. I must have watched at least 5 hours of him talking. I really encourage you to watch the videos on youtube (Comic Con panels, SAG Aftra talks, podcasts) where he just talks - he is so funny and he has so many amazing stories. I tweeted few clips this week - (1,2,3). I have a whole post about it but I included waaaay too much personal stuff in it so I need to edit it heavily because otherwise you'll all stage an intervention or straight up raid my house.
  • Allie reviews Godzilla: King of the Monsters
  • Diana watched and loved Stranger Things!
  • Keith posted defense of Once Upon a Time in Hollywood and the comment section of this post should be a good guide for you whose blogs to avoid. So horrific. It's good that all the misogynists are revealing themselves there. Avoid their blogs and boycott them. I'm not surprised to see who is there, by the way.A certain person who frequently comments has been banned from this website ever since making a disgusting sexual pun about my private parts in comment section.
  • Mario reviews Parabellum
  • Sonia chooses top 3 romantic comedies with Sandra Bullock
  • SEK reviews 13 Going on 30
  • Katy reviews Us
  • Alex published a list of things he loves in Hateful Eight
  • Brittani reviews Once Upon a Hollywood



    1. Wow! Lots of Daddy Hopper here! I've heard about the lighthouse, but I didn't get the chance to see the trailer. Guess I better start now!

      And people are complaining about It Chapter 2 being too long? Avengers Endgame was over 3 hours long and nobody complained about that!

      1. There is bias against horror for some reason. A good director can hold on to tension and suspense for however long he must.

        People just need to stop drinking sodas during movies and length will be no issue

      2. LOL! That's right! Those bathroom breaks can be a killer!

      3. To be honest though I couldn't stay for the post credits scene at Hobbs and Shaw yesterday because I just had to go to the bathroom and that movie was like 2h16min. The worst part are all the ads and previews before it, it's like 30 minutes

      4. I know what you mean. I don't know why they have to spent 30 minutes with trailers for other movies before the actual movie starts. It's like we get to the movies early for nothing.

      5. Trailers can stay especially that sometimes they are better than the movie they are attached to, but I wish the ads would stop

    2. after 6+ months I STILL haven't finished the book/it, so I'm STOKED it gets a lot done! can't wait! always here for daddy hopper haha, happy weekend!

      1. It took me 3 months but I finally finished 😂

        Daddy Hopper is light, Daddy Hopper is love

      I'm the first person to whine that a movie is too long but come on, if it's something like Avengers, Star Wars, It: Chapter 2...if it's entertaining as fuck then it can be 4 hours long for all I care!
      Thanks for the link <3

      1. Dude what they did to him today is even worse, he appears to have a mohawk 😂

    4. I snorted at that last DiCaprio photo lol

      I'm glad you're liking The Newsroom! I feel so alone in my love for that show sometimes. I agree about Euphoria's soundtrack. I'm bummed the last episode is already this weekend. It went by so quickly.

      They sent that script to the Emmys but not A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms.....*heavy sigh*

      Pattison's accent in that Lighthouse trailer was weird. I loved the tone over all, but I hope his voice doesn't bother me as much as I think it will.

      Thanks for the link!

      1. Yeah it's a very underappreciated show! I don't get it, it's well written, entertaining and has fairly well known cast

    5. Tarantino smelling his own farts. I choked on my coffee, I can't lie. It happened.

      I am on the fence about watching Euphoria. I want to watch Barry first!

      Also, the Lighthouse looks SO GOOD. Hopefully all those "Pattz can't act" fanboys complaining about The Batman casting will finally STFU.

      1. :)

        Yes, watch Barry! It's so great!

        Yeah, Pattinson is a really good actor, hopefully the fanboys also go see this one and boost the box office

      2. Also, I didn't see that last tweet about Leo's girlfriends and I about died just no. I love it.

      3. This dude is comedy gold mine, it's cool at least he doesn't marry and cheat on his wife but damn that is just sad how he keeps chasing those young girls

    6. Thanks for the link <3

      Since horror is a no-go for me, The Lighthouse doesn't do it for me, I mean, it doesn't make me see it, but I do have to admit it looks good. Also, Pattinson is killing it lately in terms of projects and acting, good for him

      I really want to see Euphoria, mostly for Zendaya and Jacob Elordi (who I heard is amazing as Nate), but I'll wait till the season is finished.

      1. You're welcome!

        It's more of a drama/thriller, though :)

        I think the finale is this Sunday!

    7. I can't wait The Lighthouse. It looks like it came right out of Classic Hollywood or Ingmar Bergman directed it.

      I know the writers have a lot to think about with all the characters and plots for Avengers: Endgame, but thank heavens some of these movies get edited the way they do. I'm probably the only one who wasn't a big fan of the America's Ass joke. It fits Scott Lang to point it out, but it's out of character for Steve. And if they didn't have the 1970s scene with Peggy / Steve, their ending would've been so random and awkward.

      I'm 300 pages into reading IT. I'm gonna make it if I have to read 24/7. lol

      Thanks for the link! <3

      1. Yes! Eggers is a huge Bergman fan

        You can do it! It is amazing to me that it looks like the second part is gonna be such a faithful adaptation. There's so many things in the book that make it obvious King was high as fuck while writing it :P

    8. Leo's girlfriend's weren't alive for Titanic,ha ha, good joke :) Agree de-aging distracts in Irishman trailer. Looking forward to The Lighthouse, I want to see at the cinema for the visuals. Same goes for Once Upon a Time in H, the meticulous production design wouldn't be the same viewed at home. Besides Pitt, I heard Margaret Qualley is a stand out performance.

      1. Right? It's like all you can focus on. They should have just get younger actors or something, the technology ISN'T ready yet to do what they are doing well. Eh, Tarantino's latest isn't that well done. The editing is absolutely awful and while cinematography was nice it's not enough to save this film. Qualley is fine but Fanning gave a better performance out of Manson gang

    9. The Lighthouse looks beautiful! I thought The Witch was as much psychological as horror by the end and I really enjoyed that so hopefully it will be as good :)

      Good luck back at work!

      1. I think the reviews for the Lighthouse are even stronger than for TW, the RT average rating is above 9 which is insane

        Thank you, I need it :D

    10. I am sooo anxious to see The Lighthouse. I just hope they don’t screw up the release and it actually makes it to smaller markets like mine! And that poster!! Whew!!!!

      Oh, almost done with Stranger Things 3 (yes I know, I’m pathetically slow). All I’ll say is they certainly know how to get their hooks in you.

      And as always, thanks for the link. I know we didn’t see eye-to-eye on OUATIH but I always respect your passion and opinion. It’s what makes your voice truly YOURS! (I hope that made sense).

      1. The comment section on your post is very valuable as I know whose blogs to avoid like fire now. It's also telling how I'm the only woman who left a comment there.

    11. I'm so excited for the Baby Driver sequel :D

      Those pics of Keanu... he looks so different than he did in the last John Wick. But most important, what the hell are they doing to him?!

      Once Upon a Time in Hollywood is getting so many negative reviews I no longer feel bad about having to wait till mid September. I won't even bother to watch it in cinemas to be honest.

      Thanks for the link :)

      1. oh God no :D

        That set is a place of so many crimes already. The beard is gone, then the bow tie, now he has a mohawk....

        Yeah waiting for a rental is a good option here

    12. That Lighthouse poster is fascinating. It took me a second to see the mermaid tail, and as mermaids currently RULE my household, that was jarring to say the least. And the last time I saw a horror movie featuring a mermaid...yikes. But this one is probably aiming a bit higher, huh.

      My wife and I finished Big Little Lies s.2, so maybe another HBO show should be on the table? I'm not exactly interested in the lives of current HS kids, as I'm afraid it will leave me catatonic. Yeah, my kids are only (almost) 10 and 6, but still. That storm is coming...and it terrifies me.

      I think the only Harbour stuff I've ever seen is the latest Hellboy and ST (what else is there?) But from his Twitter presence alone, it's clear he's a helluva good dude who is living life in the best way possible. I don't know if he has some Wolves-level stuff I should check out...but I'm interested.

      Thanks for the link, and more importantly, thank you so much for all the comments this week. I'm still wandering around in an out of infinite sadness, but you totally cheered me up. That was beyond kind of you.

      1. I would be mortified if I had kids. The world is just becoming worse and more perverted. So maybe watch Barry instead :)

        I think Hellboy was Wolves-level stuff :P

        It's the least I could do. It never goes away but it gets a little better.

      2. Yeah, I'm currently convinced this will never get better (but I hear you)

      3. You have a lovely wife and kids. And I'm all alone. And even for me it got better. So trust me, it will get better for you.

    13. That poster for The Lighthouse is STUNNNNNNING!

      I was also very confused about its trailer (also by what they were saying) but I'm excited for it. I'm also more excited for anything Pattinson does because I've breathed the same air as him, and seen him pretty close up so now I'm a proper fangirl. :D

      I love Euphoria. I think it does have a solid plot but it feels so short, so I'm a bit afraid for it. I'm surprised HBO was willing to go all out for this show, dicks and all. Somebody told me they were disturbed by this and I said, that we've seen so many boobs and vaginas, it's time to level things up. I loooove the makeup in this too! I wish I was like 10 years younger and had the energy to go to music festivals because I would totally rock those rhinestone looks!

      Once Upon a time in Hollywood isn't even out here in Estonia yet. It comes out here on the 16th. I still want to see it, even though I hated Hateful Eight and have been off the Tarantino train ever since that movie. Also, I have read various reviews and I can't believe this shit.. I have to see it with my own two eyeballs.l

      1. I was sad not to see you in that Tenet teaser that they attached to Hobbs and Shaw :D

        The make up is so great but I'm way too old and have nowhere to paint my eyelids like rainbows :P Boobs and vaginas are more aesthetically pleasing than dicks, though, that was....a lot to look at in that scene :D

        Hateful Eight is a masterpiece comparing to this garbage, seriously

    14. That poster is immaculate. I like this guys' attitude, especially after the VVitch. One of my favourite recent films, top 3 easily. And he still goers back to, not as exagerrated, but still kinda that olde english type stuff. But Pattinson and Dafoe, hell that sells it already, but by Eggers... argh we better get a release of this!!

    15. btw do de niro and pacino look THAT bad nowadays that they need those dumb effects? That sort of effect will kill the movie, even if it is Scorcese

      1. Yep, I mean they do look like men their age and they are supposed to be playing way younger people AND people their age (the story takes place over several decades)