Friday, August 23, 2019

(404) One True King + links

By sati (harlequinade) Friday, August 23, 2019
  • Poster and trailer for The Report
  • Detailed description of Midsommar Director Cut. 
  • Trailer for Antlers. I have a script for this but I have absolutely no time to read it between work and well, fangirling, so I will just wait for the movie.
  • Trailer for Bombshell with Charlize Theron, Nicole Kidman and Margot Robbie. Theron's make up is incredible - she looks just like Megyn Kelly!
  • So it turns out that Keanu is gonna be in the next The Matrix movie (Yey!) but it will also be made by one of the Wachowskis (oh noes). And Trinity is coming back. What?! Bitch got impaled by a dozen pipes and she is coming back?!
  • HBO is making a prequel to Practical Magic. But they also hired Lena Dunham to do something. That thing should not be getting hired by anyone. What the hell is going on over there?
  • Speaking of bad decisions, Disney wanted more money from Sony for Spider-Man and Sony refused to roll over. But of course Deadline published the article breaking the story, with a lot of omissions, and made it look like Sony is the bad guy. And everyone is now blaming Sony and defending Marvel whereas in reality this is what happened.
  •  The blind defense of Disney must end. Disney shits money and they gave them a greedy, crappy ultimatum. I don't like their monopoly. And it's like they straight up hypnotized the masses. Also good riddance. What a shitty behavior. 
  • Even Stan Lee's daughter is siding with Sony.
  • And now the kid run off to daddy? What is happening?
  • Jeremy, I think you should stay in your closet quietly, since you have no idea what you are talking about
  • [added on Friday evening:] *dramatically turns around to face you all* *smiles adorably* Hello! If it looks like I have been trashing Disney this whole week on twitter and all over the blogosphere, you are mistaken. 
  • I never did that. 
  • This is not what happened. 
  • On a completely unrelated note, look what they just released -->
  • I have never in my life trash-talked Disney.
  • Disney is amazing.
  • Disney rules.
  • I want to serve our Mouse overlord.
  • I also wanna tell Santa that I have been a very good girl this year.
  • But also kinda bad so he should spank me.
  • *static interference*
  •  Now that we all have the image of me getting spanked by that man in our heads, we can return to scheduled bullet points that I wrote before I passed out when I saw that poster.
  • Andy Muschietti and Barbara Muschietti are teasing cameos in It: Chapter Two.Tim Curry, anyone?
  • New cast promo. Bill is totally gonna put an emphasis on the word "it" in all of those, isn't he?
  • Another cast video where they answer questions, so much gold here between Andy shading Bill about being dead on a desert island in 3 days time and Bill's McAvoy impression.
  • He is depicting amazing modesty by not answering "me".
  • So we get one TV spot per movie here in Poland and this is the shot they chose to include in it.
  • Oh God. Watching him cry is like watching a puppy cry. It's physically unbearable.
  • It hurts.
  • And another new TV spot! "Let's kill this clown!" 
  • He robbed us of meme material!
  • Look at these idiots.
  • The movie is still 2 weeks away and I'm already losing my shit (1,2,3,4,5,6)
  • The reactions are in and the praise for Bill is overwhelming (1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11). I cannot remember the last time I saw critics single out one person like that in such a big ensemble.
  • "King of the film"
  • The film surrounding Bill is getting far worse ink. Granted, most of the complaints appear to be about length which is a null argument from these people - they just gave good reviews to new Tarantino which runs 160 minutes and consists of two things - misogyny and feet - so I don't give a fuck what they think of pacing. That said, we all know how much power RT has so hopefully it is fresh once reviews drop. WB should have just bought the reviews for once. 2019 is truly embarrassing for them. 
  • Still, it's much better when the reactions aren't glowing because you can only be pleasantly surprised by the movie. 
  • Also for me this movie is like a picture of a hot, shirtless guy holding a dog where you go "Huh? there's a dog in this picture?" 
  • Bill is the guy and the movie around him is the dog in this powerful metaphor. 
  • I mean, I still care about the dog but the guy...My God, the guy. 
  • Should I stop talking? 
  • I should, but I am not gonna. 
  • I don't know how those of you who haven't seen The Skeleton Twins and Barry will survive this. You have no idea what this sexy, beautiful, adorable genius can do. Hell, I saw those and yet I'm here, like this, waiting to be slayed.
  • Boy, are they glad they got him now.
  • I had a long weekend last week but I didn't watch any movies because I've been watching his SNL episodes. I am now on day 12 of this. I legit watch all the episodes (8 seasons!) but fast forward to his sketches but it's still so much content and it's so much JOY.  I love that sketch where he plays an Italian talk show host. I almost died when the snakes fell down.
  • Also apparently official SNL channel doesn't let everyone watch the clips. How the hell does it work here in Poland but some people in USA cannot access it?!
  • JEFF!!!!!
  • When Jason broke Bill just gave up trying.
  • It's mind-blowing how funny he made this even though it's so damn dark.
  • You know how Mario calls me Tinkerbell? Well...
  • I wanna be that dog. Also the level of commitment depicted here is mind-blowing. He did that. He did THAT.
  • There's also stuff like this and I swear one of these days I'll laugh so hard I will just die. If you wanna laugh for 12 minutes here's the whole video. If you think you suck at working out, please, do watch Bill attempt to do it.
  • *shouts so loud* ->
  • It would so work on me.
  • Look at these
  • So let me get this straight - two of my main boos are now single
  • And I *AM* on the wrong continent and *NOT* on their face. 
  • This is just...tragique.
  • Brittani reviews Toy Story 4
  • Mario writes about Child's Play
  • Gemma wonders what's more scary - books or films?
  • Sek reviews My Best Friend's Wedding
  • Diana writes about Once Upon a Hollywood
  • Keith reviews Always be my Maybe



    1. OMG you actually have a big photo of my man Adam Driver! lol

      That makeup on Charlize is incredible. Megyn Kelly is the literal worst though, I'm torn on that movie already lol.

      I think the reviews for It Chapter 2 are perfect for the reasons you were saying, now people can go in with lower expectations. I was already there just because I preferred the kids' version of the novel and I'm still grumpy about the time change but I'm all for Bill. Can't wait to see his performance.

      I still need to try Barry again, since I apparently didn't try hard enough.

      Thanks for the link!

      1. Yeah, I just had nothing else to put there :)


        Yes, watch it! It's such a great show!

    2. Happy to see Bill's getting praise, I bet you're so happy and proud. I just love it when you discover a new guy to fall in love with, I feel like we do, too :) you're very convincing :)

      That bombshell trailer got me....I legit thought Theron got a really bad nose job! I don't know the story behind it, so I didn't recognize her character

      Thanks for the link :*

      1. It's love, it is in itself very convincing lol :P I don't try, I just write and fangirl, it just happens

        That's a Fox news reporter Megyn Kelly. She's kinda a horrible person, like most people on that station are

    3. I just saw the Bombshell trailer this afternoon and Charlize was unrecognizable but not in a bad makeup kind of way. It was like that's not her is it? No. Who is that? Honestly it threw me off.

      The trailer for Antlers looks good but I'll watch Keri Russell in pretty much anything. And honestly I don't trust any big entertainment sites reporting on Disney at this point maybe its cynical but I just assume they're slanting it. Enjoy your weekend!

      1. Right? The make up is so great. Kelly has really distinct eye area and they just nailed that here

        Disney is throwing so much at people at the Expo now they will come out of this as winners anyways

    4. Sorry but I'll never get this obsession with Bill Hader 😬

      1. Again, not everyone is blessed with good taste so don't beat yourself up too much :)

    5. Sony v. Disney. Sigh. The Mouse House is definitely trying to muscle Sony into a deal. Being an MCU fan, I hope this gets resolved with Spidey still on board, but I'm not overly confident.

      1. Holland was basically saying goodbye on that Expo last weekend so Disney probably screwed itself out of featuring Spiderman for good

    6. I'm excited for The Report. I'll watch anything with Annette Bening.

      *Chandler Bing voice* I have no idea what's going with The Matrix, but I'M EXCITED.

      My only worry about the pacing for IT is that it doesn't rush through some big scenes. If it's a bunch of tiny scenes thrown together, the pacing will be terrible. There's a lot of things that can be shaved down or ommitted. But for 3 hours, the book's plot can be shaped into something stronger. The script's gotta be tight. Other than that, I can't wait!!!

      I hope Bill opens the new SNL season, especially if they start around IT.

      1. I think the last act is basically them facing Pennywise and all the sequences where they experience their fears, all the people who saw it praise the last act the most so that's great because for me that is always the most important part of any movie

        SNL usually starts near the end of September so hopefully he does it!

    7. that last meme just killed me haha, now (movie) spiderman is such a tragic figure, ALL OF THEM :( happy monday!

      1. Well for once Disney is the bad guy

        But they are giving me more Bill so I didn't just say that 😅

      2. your twitter coverage is IMPRESSIVE :)

      3. Bill so much as moved on this premiere and me and other chicks in the fandom tweeted about it 😂

    8. HBO is making a prequel to Practical Magic. But they also hired Lena Dunham to do something. That thing should not be getting hired by anyone. What the hell is going on over there? - WHAT IS THIS!? WHAT IS HAPPENING!?

      I look forward to The Bombshell, I'm a bit clueless to what it's exactly about and feel like I don't want to know before seeing the film for maximum surprise.

      Oh, Bill! That reminds me I still need to finish s02 of Barry. I have put it off because when I binged the first season it hurt that it was over...

      The Spidey situation is just a mess. I hate how the MCU Spiderman film now feels like a cancelled TV show with a cliffhanger ending that you will never be able to get solved. I'm sad for Tom a bit. It's not his mess but I feel like he is the one who has to carry it in the next movie.. if there's even going to be the next one? He is signed up for two more under Sony I think. Who knows what will happen.

      1. Yes, finish Barry! We must all love and support Bill! 💕

        It's kinda funny how they brought JK Simmons back and did this whole cliffhanger and now it is all shot to hell 😅 oh they are definitely making another movie, Spiderman is a golden goose when it comes to box Office

    9. DUDE I was JUST about to mention the skeleton twins, and then your next paragraph talks about it! I think I fell in love with him as an actor after watching that movie...he was so touching and powerful (mind you, i never got to see him in SNL bc I didn't have cable).

      1. Oh no! You should check out his SNL stuff, he is a genius! But I'm so glad you liked him in The Skeleton Twins, he was brilliant in that!

    10. Driver continues his crazy 2019 run. What is that...five movies this year???

      You are so right. The Disney/Sony stuff has been pretty one-sided in terms of support. But people tend to defend what they really love which is fine when they're in the right. I just don't see Disney's hands being clean in this. Still think a deal gets done though.

      I love me some Keanu but I just can't get hyped for another Matrix film especially after seeing a Wachowski still involved. This may be blasphemy to some but I find them to be tremendously over-rated as filmmakers.

      And again...THANK YOU for the link!!!!

      1. I think so....guy is on a roll!

        The only good movies Wachowskis made were Bound and the first Matrix film

    11. I LOVE how hard you're fanning for Hader right now! I'm curious for The Report, it'll be interesting to see Driver in a sitting-around-a-table movie.

      1. my twitter and this website are slowly turning into Bill love explosion :P

    12. Bahahahaha, 'and *NOT* on their face.' HA that line was a literal LOL for me =D

      i FINALLY got to see Midsommar! Only two months after its release! And, well, it says on the side you gave it 92 and FUCK YES! I didn't want to read that article but

      "Our detailed walkthrough of all the new footage in Ari Aster's director's cut argues that "Midsommar" is even better than it was before."

      is enough to have me salivating. Even better? Holy crap is there somehow even more fucked up scenes that didn't make the cut??

      Now that I've finally seen it I need to go back and read your post about it

    13. Yes, there is an animal Ritual scene that I am glad was not in the theatrical version but I think it's gonna be on directors cut (I havent actually had the chance to read the article I linked ).

      I am so glad you enjoyed the movie!

      1. Oh god both my friend and I were just saying to ourselves 'wtf' over and over!! I somehow liked it more that Hereditary, it was more fucked up and interesting given its not far from what old religions/beliefs actually did. Paganism seemed to be the main reference.

        Tho I'm with you, I don't want to see an animal sacrifice scene. Fuck that.