Game of Thrones 6x03 Oathbreaker

Jon Snow is back. In a scene that got a lot of women gasping because of Kit Harington's naked butt Jon rises from the dead after Melisandre brought him back in the last episode's ending. Davos discovers him and the look on his face was just priceless. Melisandre comes in, shocked. She asks Jon what did he see, what lies beyond death and much like Beric in season 3, Jon tells her there is nothing. Melisandre tells him that Stannis was not the Prince that was Promised but maybe he is and that the Lord of Light brought him back for a reason.

Davos asks her to leave and gives a great pep talk to Jon who is heartbroken about being betrayed and killed and hugely freaked out about being brought back. Then Jon goes outside and faces the stunned watchmen and wildlings. Tormund and Edd hug him in a very sweet scene.
Then we see Sam, Gilly and baby Sam on the ship to Oldtown. Sam tells Giilly that there are no women allowed in the Citadel so he will leave her and the baby in Horn Hill with his family.

After that we see a group of riders approaching a tower and two men. It is revealed that it is another vision Bran is having thanks to Bloodraven. And what it is is a hugely anticipated flashback to Tower of Joy. The riders approaching include young Ned Stark and Meera and Jojen's father - Howland Reed. And one of the men guarding the tower is the legendary Arthur Dayne, The Sword of the Morning.
Let's just pause for a moment. How gorgeous was the guy playing Arthur Dayne? Apparently his name is Luke Robers. OH MY GOD. We need a spin off. We need him shirtless. They only featured him wearing helmet in trailers so when I saw the gif of this today at work:
I just got nothing done. I spent most of the day making puns about two swords and double penetration - all of them unrepeatable.

I want to bear this man's children.

Anyways...Arthur Dayne, who in the books wields a famous sword Dawn. On the show he has two swords so obviously book purists are mad as hell. Who cares? My God. How he is wielding two swords is incomprehensible to me but how anyone can be this good looking is also not comprehensible to me so it's not an issue here. Seriously, so beautiful.
Anyways....(good God it takes me three paragraphs to compose myself enough to describe the scene) Ned fights him as Arthur is there guarding the tower on the orders of the prince Rhaegar Targaryen. You probably recall Batfinger telling Sansa how Rhaegar "kidnapped and rapped" Lyana Stark, Ned's sister. Ned fights Dayne who is simultaneously fighting several men and I'm seriously close to blacking out because my God. Then Reed stabs Dayne in the back like an asshole and Ned kills him. FFS. That's just a waste of a beautiful man.

Bran is stunned that his father was involved in such a dishonorable act. Suddenly there is a scream of a woman coming from the tower. Ned heads there but Bran calls out to him and Ned turns around. Bloodraven pulls Bran out of the vision and we are left with blue balls forced to wait longer for the biggest reveal of the series yet. In the cave Bloodraven informs Bran that he cannot leave the cave until he learns everything.
Back to Daenerys, she reaches Vaes Dothrak and is brought to the widows. They strip her, hand her some new rag to wear and an old woman informs her that new Khal will decide her fate. Daenerys is furious about all of this.

Meanwhile in Meereen we get a very cool scene with Varys interrogating that hooker who helped killed Unsullied last season. He discovers the masters of the cities Daenerys conquered are funding Sons of the Harpy. During this time Tyrion tries to make friends with Grey Worm and Missandei in funny little scene that was unfortunately, a bit of a waste of screen time. Varys comes in and informs them of his findings and Tyrion asks him if they can use his little birds to get the message to those masters. Varys says yes because he trusts his little birds.
Meanwhile the little birds are hanging out with creepy uncle Qyburn in his lab. He gives them sweets and wants them to spy for the Queen now. Cersei comes in with her posse of Gregor and pussy whipped Jaime. Jaime asks abut Qyburn did to Mountain while Cersei tells Qyburn she wants spies everywhere to know what her enemies are doing and saying.

The trio than crashes small council meeting with Kevan, Olenna, Mace and Pycelle. Jaime talks of Ellaria and how she murdered Myrcella and now has control over Dorne (seriously just kill it with fire) and they should all work together. Kevan has enough of this shit and tells Olenna, Mace and Pycelle to leave.
In another part of the city Tommen comes over to demand High Sparrow let Cersei visit Myrcella's resting place. High Sparrow denies Tommen's request telling him Cersei hasn't fully atoned yet. He then gives him few wise words and with ease manipulates Tommen.

In Braavos we get really awesome montage of blind Arya being trained by Waif. There was so much greatness here - the show doesn't do montages often (have they ever done one before?) and that was a very dynamic scene aided greatly, as usual, by Ramin Djawadi's fantastic score (it's only episode 3 and we already got so many terrific tracks). Waif asks Arya about who she was and about her family. Arya mentions Catelyn and my heart almost jumps out of my chest. Then Arya talks of her list which currently includes Cersei, Gregor and Walder Frey. It pisses me off how inconsistent Arya's list is on the show - it used to have Thoros and Melisandre and now they are gone without explanation. Anyways since we are definitely gonna see Thoros again perhaps it's good he is not on her list anymore because I don't want Arya anywhere near Thoros. This is not the Stark that we want paired with him.
Anyways in the biggest fuck yeah moment that put a huge smile on my face Arya finally beats Waif. Then Jaqen finally gives Arya her sight back.

Oh for fuck's sake Dabid and Dan. Enough with Stark torture. Enough with bringing people to Ramsay. After 5 years of no show we get to see House Umber. Greatjon's (the cool guy who proclaimed Robb the King in the North back in season 1) son - Smalljon. Apparently Greatjon is dead (this is a result of major scheduling conflicts to do with the actor who played him). There is a very big thing in the books called The Northern Conspiracy - many houses pretend to be loyal to the Boltons waiting for the right moment to turn on them because of Red Wedding. In the books the North remembers. Well, in the show this particular part of the North doesn't remember shit.
In bitch slap of a twist Umbers want to be loyal to Ramsay because Jon let wildlings in and they want to fight the wildlings. And it gets worse - they bring a gift for Ramsay and as many of us speculated and feared it's the youngest Stark child - Rickon - and the wildling we all love who takes care of him - Osha. And then it gets EVEN worse - Umber throws Shaggydog's head on the table. Ramsay looks at Rickon and with creeptastic smile says "Welcome home, Lord Stark". NO. Nope. NOOOO.

That kid is not making out alive of all of this. In the books The North wants to give Rickon Winterfell. But in the show it's clear the writers never really knew what to do with Rickon. I'm sure whatever happens in this storyline it's gonna be fucking awful to watch. There are people who think Umbers are tricking Ramsay. Nope. Let it go. They beheaded a direwolf. There is no trick here, just pure fuckery.
D&D have retconned the storyline and now after pointless season 5 abuse of Sansa we are back where we should have been a while back. In the books Ramsay marries Sansa's friend Jeyne, who people are led to believe is Arya. Jon finds out about this and wants to defeat Ramsay. In the show they had Ramsay actually marry real Sansa which amounted to nothing. And now they gave him another Stark. In the books Ramsay writes a letter to Jon, taunting him. He obviously is gonna write the letter on the show too informing Jon that he has Rickon. Everything hurts and everything is darkness.

Back at the Wall Jon goes outside where the four men who stabbed him have ropes around their necks, ready to be hanged. Jon asks each of them for last words. Thorne stands by his reasoning and has his dignity till the end. Olly just throws a hateful look in Jon's way. It was a very intense scene - you could clearly see that since Jon knows there is nothing beyond death that made his act of cutting the rope so much heavier - there is no redemption waiting for these men, only nothing.
After he hangs the traitors Jon takes off his cloak, gives it to Edd and tells him that Castle Black is his because now Jon's watch has ended. He walks away.

Although the episode was not as good as the one last week it was still very rich and filled with great moments - all of the scenes in Castle Black, Arya's training and of course that awesome Tower of Joy fight. Tyrion and Sam's scenes were a bit too long and I hope there is some sort of payoff to Daenerys' storyline because so far it's not great.

Next it's time for "Book of the Stranger". After so many years we are finally getting Stark reunion - Sansa reaches the Wall and Jon. We also check in with Batfinger doing his thang. Daario and Jorah reach Dany and Dany rumour has it - has an awesome scene - my money is on Drogon frying the fuck out of Dothraki. PREVIOUS RECAPS: