Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker

(spoilers!)

I never thought that I will see something more embarrassing when it comes to ruining the franchise than 1. WB handing the keys to DC kingdom to Zack Snyder and giving him three tries to make a movie then on the third try going "oh, fuck no!" and firing him mid-making of the film 2. Dumb and Dumber wrecking Game of Thrones so bad that the early seasons are now unwatchable because you know it is all heading towards explosive diarrhea.

Enter whoever was in charge of Disney's Star Wars trilogy (do we blame just Kennedy? Surely more people were involved in making final decisions?). Because whoever made the calls here just wrecked 40+ years worth of a franchise.

Star Wars: The Last Jedi

(spoilers!!!)

Rian Johnson has really accomplished something incredible in the newest Star Wars movie, The Last Jedi. Something different. Something unique. In that he made Star Wars movie that is so boring even if you paid me money I'd not sit through it again. I'm not sure what is more baffling - that a film from the director of Looper is so poorly made or that a Star Wars film is such a poor spectacle.

Star Wars: The Force Awakens

 (spoilers!)

I was 10 years old when Phanthom Menace came out. I remember how the toys inspired by the movie were everywhere and everyone was talking about this film. I had not seen this one in the cinema but I did see Attack of the Clones. By the time Revenge of the Sith came out the new trilogy was already such a subject of ridicule I watched it solely for the laughs.

I wish I was born 15 years later or 20 years sooner. It must be so dope to be a kid and grow up with actual good Star Wars films. But what George Lucas tarnished for my generation, the new one is getting thanks to Disney and JJ Abrams. I'm not gonna sit here and lie - this film has one of the least ballsy scripts of the year. It follows the formula of A New Hope, it relies so heavily on nostalgia and it plays everything very safe. But I think this is a small sin comparing to the alternative - Lucas' prequels were no doubt creative. Creative to the point we wanted to rip out our eyeballs and shove them into our ears as plugs, just so we don't have to experience that creativity anymore.