My threshold for crazy is pretty high up. It takes chicken drumstick fellatio or telepathic sex with Nicole Kidman's ripped stockings in her panties area to disturb me. But damn if Ryan Murphy didn't come close to those levels in the last three episodes of American Horror Story. But what's even more astonishing is that for the first time in the history of the series he made an episode that was such a baffling mess, I understood maybe 50% of it. But before we get to dissect Continuum, let's start with The Name Game.
That episode was filled with the moments when I thought "Really, Ryan Murphy?". While it did have plenty of great moments including the scenes where we see the bond between Lana and Kit and all of sister Mary Eunice's scene's it had the biggest WTF in the series so far - the musical number with dancing and singing Sister Jude. Now, the other show that is Ryan Murphy's brainchild is Glee. But if I wanted to watch fucking Glee, I'd watch fucking Glee.
Sadly, Ryan Murphy is really derailing his own shown with the amount of story lines - either go with aliens or with the demons. Well, he actually finally made the choice but it was laughable - after Sister Mary Eunice climbed on top of Monsignor and rode him (Hey, it's Joseph Fiennes so who can blame her?) he, being told by the Angel of Death that Sister Mary is possessed by Satan and he has to kill her, throws her from the top of the stairs. That's it. That is what it takes to kill Satan. Really, Ryan Murphy?
One of my biggest problems with the series have always been how quickly major characters exited the series. There was always no fuss over people dying here - we see someone die or hear about their demise and that is it. I'm really bothered about it this season because it had even stronger characters than last and such unceremonious deaths of fan favorites really suck and damage the show. Killing off two most awesome characters in the season - Dr Arden and sister Mary Eunice 3 episodes prior to finale was a HUGE mistake. Sure, the scene where Arden burns alive with Mary's corpse was poetic and strangely beautiful but still - it was way too soon and way too easy way out.
Oh and what's that readers? You wonder what's up with the mutants Arden created aka Raspers? Well, let me tell you - he shot them all in their heads and they are as dead as is this story arc. What's that? You want to ask "Really, Ryan Murphy?" too?
Thankfully, other for occasional horrible writing and disappointing resolutions to major story arcs, the episode had many strong points and I appreciated the fact Joseph Fiennes finally had something to do. But the series really picked up the pace in the next episode entitled Spilt Milk - it was easily one of the strongest episodes so far. Before I tell you why, let's mention the lamest story arc - the one with the Grace and aliens - Grace gave birth to her child, which was delivered by...wait for it....Zachary Quinto's fucked up psychopath. Anyways, since he has such mommy issues he is all crazy about the baby and apparently being dead and brought back with a kid means that someone is sane now because Grace gets released out of Asylum.
When her, Kit and their space offspring arrive home there is a surprise - Alma is there, with another space child. So Ryan Murphy spends 13 (!) minutes of the latest episode Continuum showing us some new age Mormon shit with Grace, Kit, Alma and their kids living together. I'm assuming Kit is banging both of his partners, but none of this is addressed because the whole point of it was to show us that Alma is scared that Grace will summon the aliens and she kills her with the axe. She gets committed to Briarcliff and she dies there, making Kit a single parent. Really, Ryan Murphy? 13 minutes on this shit? And please, give Evan Peters some pants. He is about 5-10 years too young for my taste.
Thank God for Lana. Now that I got boring stuff out of the way, I can focus on the show's most interesting character. In Spilt Milk Lana finally gets out of Briarcliff in a very cool scene inspired by Brian De Palma's Dressed to Kill which ends with her showing Threadson the tape with his confession and flipping him the bird, while she is in the cab. Lana has been through hell and in this episode she finally triumphs - she kills Threadson, buries Wendy and starts working on her book. She also wants to abort her baby (again) but changes her mind, feeling like too much blood was spilt already.
Now before I mention the ending, let's talk about the opening where we see Lana's grown son Johnny, or Modern Bloody Face if you will. Johnny, played by Dylan McDermott welcomes a hooker who just had a baby. She is lactating and he sucks her milk. Yes, I typed it. Yes, that shit happened. I mean seriously. It happened. In the ending that scene is mirrored when the nurse brings crying baby Johnny to Lana who yells she doesn't want to see him. Nurse explains that he won't stop crying and Lana, while suffering and feeling disgust feeds the baby.
This whole situation right there is more interesting than everything else in the season. I can't blame Lana for not wanting the child whose father killed the woman she loved and was a monster who killed people and raped her. On the other hand it's not the child's fault. I think Lana is to blame for having the baby. If she aborted him she would spare him the lifetime of problems, suffering and pain. No wonder he grew up to be a monster - but I don't believe it's because of who his father was, it is because his own mother wanted to kill him twice and then abandoned him. If he kills Lana in the finale I must say it will be some form of justice.
In the episode Continuum we see that Lana tweaked the truth - she wrote about things that never happened when she was tormented by Bloody Face. She also didn't reveal that she was a lesbian and Wendy was her lover. During the book reading she sees the ghosts of Wendy and Threadson accusing her of lying. Lana is treated like a hero and it's clear that she only wants to enjoy the life from now on. Who can blame her? But Kit meets with her and asks her about the promise she gave Jude - that she will shut down Briarcliff.
Ah Jude. Lana attempted to free her but Monsignor told her she was dead. But Jude is very much alive and very confused - and we are confused too. I have no idea what the fuck was going on with that story arc in last episode. For some reason Jude started hallucinating that her cellmate is the Angel of Death and a lesbian. I'm suspecting the fact she was a lesbian is just Ryan Murphy's obsessive need to include as many gay characters as he can, never mind if any of this has a purpose.
Anyways Kit sees her and tells Lana about it, so I suspect Lana will finally move her ass and does something in the finale. The episode which was all over the place and clearly a failed experiment was rescued by the last few minutes. I do not understand why so many people whine about Dylan McDermott. I think he is fantastic, especially in the season 2. In the chilling ending he walked into a bookstore and asked the owner for the first edition of Lana's book. She didn't want him to have it, so he told her who he was and what he plans to do - and all he wants is to finally meet his mother and kill her. She gives him the book, which was pretty smart of her because honestly, I mean what else would you do in that situation?
Let's just hope this year's finale is better than last. I'm hoping for a big twist, but hopefully not the one from Shutter Island.