Thursday, December 31, 2015

My issues with the treatment of Daisy Domergue in The Hateful Eight

By sati (harlequinade) Thursday, December 31, 2015 , , 42 Comments

The Hateful Eight, Tarantino's eight movie, is a fine film. While it is too long and it's last 60 minutes are significantly better than the first 100, it's still a fine film. It will keep you entertained, it has moments of sheer brilliance (Daisy playing on the guitar comes to mind) and good performances by talented actors, with Leigh stealing the show and Channing Tatum yet again delivering very strong work in spite of short screentime. In spite of a very long running time - nearly 3 hours - the film is never boring. In fact parts of it are really masterful.

Saturday, December 26, 2015

Star Wars: The Force Awakens

By sati (harlequinade) Saturday, December 26, 2015 , , , , , , , 32 Comments

I was 10 years old when Phanthom Menace came out. I remember how the toys inspired by the movie were everywhere and everyone was talking about this film. I had not seen this one in the cinema but I did see Attack of the Clones. By the time Revenge of the Sith came out the new trilogy was already such a subject of ridicule I watched it solely for the laughs.

I wish I was born 15 years later or 20 years sooner. It must be so dope to be a kid and grow up with actual good Star Wars films. But what George Lucas tarnished for my generation, the new one is getting thanks to Disney and JJ Abrams. I'm not gonna sit here and lie - this film has one of the least ballsy scripts of the year. It follows the formula of A New Hope, it relies so heavily on nostalgia and it plays everything very safe. But I think this is a small sin comparing to the alternative - Lucas' prequels were no doubt creative. Creative to the point we wanted to rip out our eyeballs and shove them into our ears as plugs, just so we don't have to experience that creativity anymore.

Friday, December 25, 2015

(215) May The Force be with you this Christmas + links

By sati (harlequinade) Friday, December 25, 2015 22 Comments
  • Merry Christmas everyone!

  • Wednesday, December 23, 2015

    (Probably endless) list of things I love about Mad Max: Fury Road, part 1.

    By sati (harlequinade) Wednesday, December 23, 2015 , 26 Comments

    If you told me months ago when I walked out of cinema after seeing Fury Road, all lightheaded and enamored, that this is gonna be the movie that's gonna be up for most prestigious Oscars, I wouldn't believe you. But somehow, it has happened. Fury Road is getting accolades and nominations left and right and the nomination for Best Picture at the Oscars seems certain. 

    So let's have ourselves a Merry Christmas and revisit my favorite movie of 2015. Here are the things I adored about it:

    Friday, December 18, 2015

    (214) Mercy! + links

    By sati (harlequinade) Friday, December 18, 2015 30 Comments
  • oh my God.
  • oh my God....
  • OH MY GOD. 

  • Friday, December 11, 2015

    (213) I hope Ricky Gervais throws up on them + links

    By sati (harlequinade) Friday, December 11, 2015 20 Comments
  • First of all, all hail feral Hardy! 
  • And HFPA and SAG? 
  • You people are dead to me.

  • Thursday, December 10, 2015

    Promote, promote your way to that nomination...

    By sati (harlequinade) Thursday, December 10, 2015 , , , 12 Comments
    Hardy in The Revenant
    It was such a beautiful time. When you used to get excited about Awards season, while lying to yourself that people who really deserve the recognition are gonna win, or at the very least get nominated. It is no more for me this year.

    Tom Hardy, arguably biggest break out star in 2015, who appeared in 5 different films and one popular TV series did not get a single SAG or Golden Globe nomination this year. That is unpleasant. But the behind the scenes stuff and the fact that HFPA nominated both Mad Max and The Revenant for Best Drama, while ignoring Hardy, whose work is integral to those movies' success, is just ugly.

    Monday, December 7, 2015

    10 best trailers in 2015

    By sati (harlequinade) Monday, December 7, 2015 , 14 Comments
    While my awards in this season will be later than usual - thank you for releasing The Revenant as late as January 29th :/ - I can start already because I'm assuming other than some mind blowing promos for the Oscar films that are gonna drop soon there won't be any new, potentially amazing, trailers. Some of the trailers released this year like "Krampus" and "The Nice Guys" informed me of existence of those movies and made me wanna see them, some like "Hail Cesar" used amazing music and some like "The Hateful Eight" trailers just didn't click for me. I'm also making that list because recently Playlist published theirs and The Revenant was FOURTH. I almost puked in my mouth when I saw that.

    So here are the best trailers of 2015:

    Friday, December 4, 2015

    (212) Survive this gif, and nothing can kill you + links

    By sati (harlequinade) Friday, December 4, 2015 28 Comments
  • I have never  seen this gif before. I have seen the glorious Esquire spread but I have never seen THAT before last Saturday when a kind - or mischievous - soul showed me that. 
  • Look into his eyes. 
  • They are smiling. 
  • He KNOWS.
  • I am now convinced that I am invincible for I looked upon that gif and I have survived.
  • Though I still think I may collapse when I finally see Legend. My fear is that I will see a bit of it and wake up in the hospital.
  • Now let's just stare at it for an obscene amount of time.
  • Seriously I probably spent several hours looking at that thing.
  • That is too much information, isn't it?
  • Oh, fuck it.
  • And here we have new pictures from The Revenant
  • Look at all those actors, posing normally:

  • Wednesday, December 2, 2015

    Soundtrack Wednesday - Macbeth

    By sati (harlequinade) Wednesday, December 2, 2015 , , 2 Comments

    Track: Turn Hell Hound
    Artist: Jed Kurzel
    Movie: Macbeth

    Tuesday, December 1, 2015


    By sati (harlequinade) Tuesday, December 1, 2015 , , , , , , , 16 Comments
    Justin Kurzel's Macbeth, which is one of the most cinematic Shakespearean works, opens with the still shot of a dead child laying on the ground, surrounded by heather. The film's tone is set from the very start - as raw, grim and filled with great sadness. This is a dark, bloody affair and an unpleasant one too.

    If only it was a better movie.

    Friday, November 27, 2015

    (211) Let's add a white horse and see ladies faint + links

    By sati (harlequinade) Friday, November 27, 2015 18 Comments
  • Would you look at that. Cause I've been unable to stop for a while.

  • Friday, November 20, 2015

    (210) Fermez ton bouche, son + links

    By sati (harlequinade) Friday, November 20, 2015 18 Comments
  • I wish I were a dog stranded in Tom Hardy's house.

  • Friday, November 13, 2015

    (209) Hardylicious - the dogs/erase my mind edition + links

    By sati (harlequinade) Friday, November 13, 2015 30 Comments
  •  That dog is my spirit animal. He is just dragging Tom to the ground. No fucking around, just let's do this man.

  • Friday, November 6, 2015

    (208) Hardylicious + links

    By sati (harlequinade) Friday, November 6, 2015 32 Comments
  • This week I saw Tom's documentary about poaching crisis in Africa. Shit like you can see in my gifset above happens in it.

  • Sunday, November 1, 2015

    Screaming Sunday - Bone Tomahawk

    By sati (harlequinade) Sunday, November 1, 2015 , , 25 Comments
    Movie rating - 85/100
    Plot:  In the Old West, a sheriff (Kurt Russell), his deputy (Richard Jenkins), a gunslinger (Matthew Fox),and a cowboy (Patrick Wilson) embark on a mission to rescue three people from a savage group of cave dwellers.
    The heroes: Our brave rescue party of four (whoever gets that reference gets the rest of my Halloween candy).
    The antagonists: The cannibalistic tribe of Indians, who are not only outnumbering our heroes but are also completely ruthless and have some sort of bone stuck in their throats so they can emit the call that is seriously creepy as fuck.
    Best scene: The whole film is a string of best scenes, really.
    Oh-oh something's not right line: You have no chance against any number of them.
    What makes it so great? I am strangely not big a fan of western ever though my second favorite show of all time (Deadwood) and one of my all time favorite westerns (The Assassination of Jesse James) come from this genre. But I am a huge fan of horror. So when, as soon as this movie hit VOD, there were many raves and positive reviews for this and I saw it stars Richard Jenkins, an actor who simply never fails, I decided to watch it and what a good decision it was.

    The film is a perfect blend of western and horror - it spends 3/4 of its running time following the western formula - letting us get familiar with the feel of the film, the location, the pace and most of all get used to and really like the main four heroes, who with no regard for the safety of their own, go on perhaps suicide mission to rescue the people taken by the enemy. There are no doubts whether they should go - they just go, which already makes us admire them for their bravery.

    Friday, October 30, 2015

    (207) The week of 9 films + links

    By sati (harlequinade) Friday, October 30, 2015 25 Comments
  • The Queen of Mischief was featured in the pics in Empire magazine. Oh my God. I may actually stop living while watching this movie.

  • Thursday, October 29, 2015

    American Horror Story 5x03 Mommy / 5x04 Devil's Night

    By sati (harlequinade) Thursday, October 29, 2015 4 Comments
    Yeah, so this is awkward - I didn't have the time to recap the episode last Thursday and then I kinda forgot to recap it. But I warned you it may happen. So we are doing the double feature today.

    Last week's episode unfortunately showed us more of Alex. Is there anyone watching who actually cares about this arc? Anyways it turns out Alex loves her abducted son way more than her husband - whom she wants to divorce - and daughter - whom she throws the most epic side eye since Catelyn Tully. So Alex goes to Hotel and after being teased by Naomi Campbell's ghost (by the way don't you badmouth Zara) she runs into Holden and takes him home, because oh well what could possibly go wrong?

    Tuesday, October 27, 2015

    Crimson Peak

    By sati (harlequinade) Tuesday, October 27, 2015 , , , , , , , 16 Comments

    Before I discuss the many problems Crimson Peak unfortunately has, let's just get this out of the way - this is the finest haunted house in cinema since Alejandro Amenabar directed The Others, back in 2001. The house in Crimson Peak is a true marvel - beautifully designed, meticulously planned and definitely worth seeing on the big screen. As advertised, this is the house that breathes and bleeds - the wind sounds like wailing, the red clay spilling through wooden boards looks like blood. This house is truly magnificent and one of the strongest things in the movie.

    Friday, October 23, 2015

    (206) So madd(en)ing + links

    By sati (harlequinade) Friday, October 23, 2015 24 Comments
  • Tom Hardy became a father again! His wife Charlotte gave birth to their child yesterday. While searching for the news I found this pic of Tom and his first son.
  • There are no words.
  • I was supposed to see Crimson Peak today but I was too exhausted to go to cinema. I'm just so tired. I've been falling asleep at 10 pm lately. I came to work at 7.20 today and finished working around 14:40. It's madness.
  • I finally sat down and watched Far From the Madding Crowd last weekend. I'm creating the dumbest character of the year category in my annual awards just for the main chick.
  • JFC this movie. First some sheep committed mass suicide by jumping off the cliff. Then I think a dog got shot, but it was out of frame so I can always pretend it didn't happen. Then that main bitch gets a lamb from this guy and he proposes and she says no. Then Michael Sheen proposes and the bitch says no. And previously in the movie she sent him a valentine but when it is pointed out to her by the lamb guy that she led the poor guy on she fires him. But then some sheeps' stomachs start exploding - or something - so she rides after the lamb guy because only he can help her. Then some gigolo soldier arrives and waves a sword - literally - at her in the woods and she marries him. He is of course a douche and gets her in debt and impregnates some plot device played as usual by Juno Temple and then plot device and its baby die and then he is pronounced dead after he allegedly drowns so poor Sheen proposes again and just as she maybe kind of will graciously agree the dead husband comes back and Sheen shoots him so he is sent to jail and the one left who gave her a lamb is leaving her but - poor guy - she catches on to him and they make out.

    My God.

  • Tuesday, October 20, 2015

    Visual Parallels: A Single Man + The Hours

    By sati (harlequinade) Tuesday, October 20, 2015 , , 21 Comments
    Stephen Daldry's The Hours and Tom Ford's A Single Man are both beautiful movies dealing with the subject of loneliness. The first follows three women, each living in different time, but each of them hopelessly stuck in their lives. The second shows a day of a man who lost his lover and is set on killing himself.

    Friday, October 16, 2015

    (205) Fuck you, Pixar + links

    By sati (harlequinade) Friday, October 16, 2015 30 Comments
  •  You know every single time I watch Scream Queens I shop. 

  • Thursday, October 15, 2015

    American Horror Story 5x02 Chutes and Ladders

    By sati (harlequinade) Thursday, October 15, 2015 4 Comments

    This week at the Hotel we got to truly suffer trough the introduction and the following scenes featuring Finn Wittrock's character, we got to learn a little bit about Countess Elizabeth and we got a truly awesome black and white flashback which was so incredibly brutal I'm almost sure it would not be allowed to air in color.

    We opened with Sally being sadistic to that raped dude and sewing him into the mattress. Then one of the Swedish tourists died after vamp kid fed on her and Iris and Liz Taylor along with the maid got rid of her body. Iris comes over to Elizabeth's room because she wants to speak with Donovan but he hides from her. Elizabeth tells him she wants to go out but he wants to stay in and watch House of Cards. So Elizabeth goes out on her own.

    Wednesday, October 14, 2015

    Simply the Best: 2009 - 2005

    By sati (harlequinade) Wednesday, October 14, 2015 31 Comments
    The Oscar season is almost upon us so I thought it would be fun to assemble a list of my winners in 5 big categories. I originally wanted to just share the list but once I started to write about these movies and performances the post grew so much I had to split it into three. So here is the second one with my winners for Best Picture and best performances between 2009 and 2005:

    Friday, October 9, 2015

    (204) Tear you apart + links

    By sati (harlequinade) Friday, October 9, 2015 41 Comments
  •  I could go see Legend this weekend. 
  • However, I fear for my life --->
  • This is too much. GOD DAMN 
  • I'm just...
  • I can't.
  • Can someone please inform Hardy that when he looks like THAT and walks around the streets just grabbing dogs and being adorable with them he should never ever speak or wear a suit because a combo of that, dogs and his voice will cause implosion of ovaries making the plot of Children of Men a reality?
  • Oh God where are men like that? 

  • Thursday, October 8, 2015

    American Horror Story 5x01 Checking In

    By sati (harlequinade) Thursday, October 8, 2015 12 Comments

    American Horror Story is back and what a triumphant return it is. Everyone was worried when it was announced that season 4 was the last one for Jessica Lange. Then everyone was even more worried when they found out that Lady Gaga, who apparently called Ryan Murphy expressing her desire to be on the show, will replace Lange as the show's leading lady. But people were worried for nothing because "Checking In" is a very promising start of the season and the most intense and atmospheric episode the show had to date.