Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker

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I never thought that I will see something more embarrassing when it comes to ruining the franchise than 1. WB handing the keys to DC kingdom to Zack Snyder and giving him three tries to make a movie then on the third try going "oh, fuck no!" and firing him mid-making of the film 2. Dumb and Dumber wrecking Game of Thrones so bad that the early seasons are now unwatchable because you know it is all heading towards explosive diarrhea.

Enter whoever was in charge of Disney's Star Wars trilogy (do we blame just Kennedy? Surely more people were involved in making final decisions?). Because whoever made the calls here just wrecked 40+ years worth of a franchise.

Godzilla: King of the Monsters

Gareth Edwards' 2014's Godzilla was one of the most forgettable big budget movies I've seen. Nothing memorable came out of it, other than hilarious Honest Trailer highlighting Ken Watanabe's stares and the meme of Bryan Cranston saying "Godzilla, we need to cook" and shot of Godzilla going "bitch". Somehow it got good reviews and made enough money to jump start the Monsterverse.

At WB.

So you knew shit will get dicey fast.

Dark Phoenix

Back in the early 2000's we didn't really have many good CBMs. We had stuff like Daredevil and Fantastic Four, and we never dreamed that the genre will be truly successful one day. But there were also the X-Men movies, the first two parts of which, along with Sam Raimi's Spiderman, proved that CBMs can be genuinely thrilling action adventure flicks. The franchise then evolved, delivering few stinkers in the process and changing its cast. Then in 2017, triumphantly, came the best entry in the X-Men franchise and entire comic book movie genre -  the masterful Logan. They should have just quit while they were ahead. But as always is the case with 20th Century Fox, they didn't.

Avengers: Endgame

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Once upon a time comic book films were rare and mostly not very good. Once upon a time Robert Downey Jr. was unhirable. Once upon a time the idea that the movie based on a comic book will earn rave reviews and score nominations for major awards was unthinkable.

And then MCU happened.

Us

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When I first saw Get Out I liked it a lot but it oddly didn't make a huge impression on me. Howeve,r recently I rewatched the film again and then again and upon subsequent viewings my mind was blown by how clever and intricate the script is. Every moment, every shot, every line has a purpose and pretty much everything that happens in the movie obeys the logic of the universe the film is set in. It's one of the most brilliant scripts I've ever seen unfold on the sceen. The more you think about Get Out, the more you like it. Unfortunately, it's the opposite with Us.

Captain Marvel

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Venom

Well, what do you know? The turd in the wind turns out to be the breath of fresh air.

Annihilation

You dig in places till your fingers bleed 

Spread the infection, where you spill your seed 

I can't remember what she came here for 

I can't remember much of anything anymore 

 She's gone, she's gone, she's gone away 

She's gone, she's gone, she's gone away 

Away...*

(spoilers!)
Alex's Garland's wonderful new science fiction film Annihilation made headlines this year for quite strange reasons. The studio, Paramount - as in the studio that gave Daren Aronofsky 30 million dollars to make a movie based on a script he wrote after he, presumably, dropped acid and his eyes locked on the copy of the Bible on his bookstand - didn't have much faith in the movie. In the result, they sold the distribution rights for most of the markets to Netflix, forcing people like me to watch it at home instead of on the big cinema screen. The move proved to be misguided - the film opened to great reviews and made 3/4 of its budget in US theatrical distribution only.

Star Wars: The Last Jedi

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Rian Johnson has really accomplished something incredible in the newest Star Wars movie, The Last Jedi. Something different. Something unique. In that he made Star Wars movie that is so boring even if you paid me money I'd not sit through it again. I'm not sure what is more baffling - that a film from the director of Looper is so poorly made or that a Star Wars film is such a poor spectacle.

Alien: Covenant

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We need to stop giving the benefit of a doubt to Ridley Scott.

While the man deserves respect for his two masterpieces - Alien and Blade Runner Scott has now taken the turn that makes it very clear his Alien prequels aren't a thing of passion and certainly not necessity. Why is Scott at 79 years of age set on damaging his masterpiece? (Alien is forever tainted by the existence of the Covenant now). I'm saying this because there is no way anyone can tell me this rehashed, mangled product is the intended movie. This is reactionary.

Colossal

Gloria (Anne Hathaway) is an out-of-work blogger and an alcoholic mess, who, after getting kicked out of her apartment by her boyfriend Tim (Dan Stevens), is forced to leave her life in New York and move back to her hometown.When she arrives she reconnects with her childhood friend, Oscar (Jason Sudeikis) who is an owner of a bar. Oscar hires Gloria as  a waitress and helps her get back on her feet.

When news reports surface that a giant creature is destroying Seoul, South Korea, Gloria gradually comes to the realization that she is somehow connected to his far-off phenomenon. As events begin to spin out of control, Gloria must determine why her seemingly insignificant existence has such a colossal effect on the fate of the world.

Ghost in the Shell

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The studio executives these days are becoming progressively dumber. I think we can all agree that the lead role in this movie went to Scarlett Johansson because the studio thought it needed star power to make the movie successful. Unless international box office saves it, Ghost in the Shell is a bomb. Scarlett, who is largely the most profitable actress on the planet due to her involvement in Marvel cinematic universe (where she really doesn't do much) is not the person who people go to see in the movies. I really, really love it that's it's Melissa McCarthy who is probably the biggest draw out of female actresses right now.

Suicide Squad

Well, fuck.

Ant-Man

Marvel's reign over what seems to be the entire world - they have been getting our attention and our money for years now - has recently started to become a bit shaky. Age of Ultron, sequel to their most profitable movie yet, Avengers was disappointing. Not financially, of course, but the reception was underwhelming. And who can blame the people who were let down - Ultron repeated the sin of formulaic storyline, bland villain and frankly it was just bizarre. I mean what the hell was up with  the"hey kids, gather around and we will tell you about that time Black Widow's ovaries got removed!" thing?

Interstellar

(SPOILERS!)

I remember when Inception was released among all that ridiculous praise it got. Then I remember watching the movie and thinking 'Really? That's it? That's the movie people give 10/10 to'? Interstellar is in comparison so boring, dumb and irritating I would have gladly see Inception three times instead of it.

Hell, I'd gladly make that damn spinning top my screen-saver.

Under the Skin

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Let me preface this by saying that I did like the movie a lot. Unfortunately, since I am familiar with book material there's going to be a lot of 'oh, what could have been!' talk here.

It's been a year, more or less, since I read Michel Faber's terrific novel Under the Skin. Since I don't have much time to read fiction, I don't spend my time with books that often. The main reason I usually do is because there is a movie in the works based on the novel and it sounds amazing. So what happens is I read the book, I love it and then I see the movie. And it's not the right way to go. At all.

Gravity

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If you told me that one day I'll be grateful Avatar existed, I wouldn't believe you. But I am now. Why? Because if it wasn't for Avatar and the advancement of technology it carried with it, we wouldn't have Gravity. And unlike the boring, empty and ridiculous spawn of James Cameron, Gravity is a beautiful, emotionally affecting cinematic masterpiece.

Pacific Rim

Let me say this upfront - I don't mind silly movies. Just few days ago I had a great time watching Sandra Bullock and Melissa McCarthy in The Heat. It was dumb, but at least it wasn't boring. This is pretty much the minimum I ask of summer film - to entertain. So when I was checking my text messages during Pacific Rim, I knew that it failed for me.

This is the End

6 friends. One house. A party. A milky way. Apocalypse.

Films about the end of the world are extremely popular in Hollywood lately - we either get big blockbuster movies, comedies or horror films about the subject. Some of those are really good like last year's Cabin in the Woods. And now we have new addition to the list of good end of the world movies - This is the End - hugely entertaining, hilarious comedy that I'm definitely going to rewatch many times.

Man of Steel

In the immortal words of legendary Aldous Snow from Forgetting Sarah Marshal - "Awful bloody movie". I was left with a number of reflections other than this one as soon as the end credits of the new Superman movie Man of Steel came up on screen -  how the hell can a movie with Henry Cavill 1. shirtless 2. in a tight suit be so dull? How in the world Adams and Cavill had zero chemistry? Why did they make Diane Lane look like a homeless person? But among those questions there was also one request - don't ever let Zack Snyder direct a movie again.