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We already got a movie about Phoenix - widely hated The Last Stand, written by Simon Kinberg. Now Fox gave him not just the writing but also the directing responsibilities. How shocking that it didn't go well. What the hell were they thinking doing the same story again and giving it to the guy who messed it up the first time? And this time it's even worse because we don't really know Jean and those young mutants. I don't even remember what Apocalypse was about. Was that the one with Magneto hiding in picturesque woods in Poland? That was hilarious because our woods have more of a Blair Witch/The VVitch vibe to them.
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Jennifer Lawrence is an unprofessional disgrace again. She took money for this and yet she wanders around, clearly not wanting to be there. When you are playing a CBM character with lots of fans, you owe it to the fans to make an effort. That "X-Women" line was so goddamn cringy people in the cinema started laughing. How many flops till this woman's career is finally over? Her recent work consists of performances in disgusting male fantasies or phoning it in.
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Fassbender is the only other person besides Turner who is trying here and that's ironic, considering he stopped caring about his career ages ago. Still, the scene where Magneto and Jean both try to control a helicopter with their powers will definitely make you laugh. It was really painful to watch such a talented actor involved in something like this.
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People go "it's clunky but it's unique!" and "evil Disney, poor Fox". It's not something to be proud of when that uniqueness is how shitty and joyless this movie is comparing to most in CBM genre. And Fox allowed Ridley Scott to massacre the Alien franchise, didn't give Spy a sequel and is responsible for Bohemian Rhapsody. Hugh Jackman had to take a pay cut for them to allow James Mangold to make Logan the way they wanted. To hell with those incompetent bastards, I hope only Reynolds' Deadpool gets out of this acquisition unscathed.
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32/100 (2019, USA, 113 min)
Plot: Jean Grey begins to develop incredible powers that corrupt and turn her into a Dark Phoenix. Now the X-Men will have to decide if the life of a team member is worth more than all the people living in the world.
Director: Simon Kinberg
Writers: Simon Kinberg
Stars: Sophie Turner, James McAvoy, Michael Fassbender, Jennifer Lawrence
Your graphics look lovely. I don't know what they were expecting giving this to Kinberg again, and it seems like the new mutants never really resonated with viewers.
ReplyDeleteI hope MCU takes their time introducing them. I think we all need to be away from this for a while in order to like it again.
Thank you! It's dumber decision making than letting Snyder do BvS after MOS and that is really saying something
DeleteMostly what I remember about Apocalypse was them burying Oscar Isaac under all that make-up! Like you want a death God people will follow don't do anything to him ;)
ReplyDeleteAnd Fassbender seems to have lost all ability to pick scripts the last couple years. Though I stayed awake in this one which is more than I can say for Assassin's Creed.
Oscar was so hilariously bored and uncomfortable in that movie 😂 i hate when they hide hot actors under make up, what a waste!
DeleteUfff I didnt even try watching Assassins Creed
Awesome review as always!! I've been hearing lots of bad things about this movie. I wouldn't be surprised if this ended up being the worst movie of the year.
ReplyDeleteLet's hope that Marvel does a better job with the X-Men than FOX did.
Well it's far from it, tons of worse trash was already released :)
DeleteUgh, even tho I am slightly warming to these sorta movies, this sounds utterly awful. And I still maintain Jennifer Lawrence only had one truly great role but was outshined by bigger names (and combovers) and that was American Hustle.
ReplyDeleteShe was good in few movies and she is talented but I find her repulsive off screen and this puts me off her roles.
Deleteoff-screen how? I must admit that off screen behaviour doesn't bother regarding seeing the movie, mainly cos I am never up with celebrity news hehe
DeleteI don't wanna get into it. But I don't support people who I find disgusting and who get ahead using other means than hard work and talent.
DeleteI used to adore Jennifer Lawrence but she really irritates me now!
ReplyDeleteAlso the only part of Apocalypse I can remember is Michael Fassbender in the woods!
Yeah and apparently that was Poland lol our woods are not this nice and sure as shit Fassbender is not in them :)
DeleteGreat review...I'm actually surprised you decided to see this, because the trailer just looked so messy. They just need to let this franchise rest...
ReplyDeleteThank you! Gurl, I wanted to see Parabellum AGAIN but my friend was like "oh I gotta see Fassbender" so we saw this turd instead
DeleteI've never gotten into the X-Men movies. I enjoyed First Class... and I need to see Logan. but the others were just kind of "meh" for me. And honestly, I think Sophie Turner is so dulllllll. I just had no desire to see this.
ReplyDeleteYes, you NEED TO SEE LOGAN!!! :D Turner is dull so it's really saying something when she is one of the better things about this mess
DeleteHonestly, I don't remember a thing about Apocalypse or the other X Men movies, either. Just that it has McAvoy and Fassbender, and I love them. This sounds like a trainwreck, but I'll probably catch it on Netflix or something
ReplyDeleteYeah that's a good choice!
DeleteI mean... do I want to see something after Logan in the X-Men universe? Nah, I think I'm good. It ended with Logan for me, I love that idea.
ReplyDeleteThey should have just left it at that but nope, they just kept going lol
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