Friday, July 21, 2017

(297) We'll always have those five hours with lions... + links

By Sati. Friday, July 21, 2017 16 Comments
  • Not one.
  • Not two
  • But three pervy live tweets over the weekend.

  • Sunday, July 16, 2017

    (Probably endless) list of things I love about Logan, part 1

    By Sati. Sunday, July 16, 2017 , , 13 Comments

    6 days ago it has been exactly 4 months since I saw Logan for the very first time. Since that moment I saw the movie 4 more times including once with director's commentary (I have never ever watched anything with commentary before but for this movie I made an exception and it's really a great one - James Mangold shares so much in it and I will cite some of the things I learned from there here). It's July and Logan remains my favorite movie of the year and seeing how it's already in my top 10 of all time - yes, all time - I cannot imagine anything dethroning it.

    So once more, inspired by Alex's brilliant series, - here are the things I loved about James Mangold's masterpiece.

    Friday, July 14, 2017

    (296) The Revenge of the Hole + links

    By Sati. Friday, July 14, 2017 22 Comments
  • For the second time ever we almost didn't have new RF here this week. I had my PC unhooked for 3 days due to my apartment being renovated. But mostly I just felt shitty and didn't have enough of sense of humor and whimsy to turn my life - which I have in a sense a jellyfish has a life - into jokes like I usually do. Not only was my PC unhooked but it's also summer cleanse time so I literally couldn't do anything I like to do or that distracts me. I need to be distracted. All the time. 
  • When I'm not it's not a pretty picture.
  • Think of a combo between Jack Black in Tropic Thunder after the bat stole his heroin, Renton in Transpotting during detox and RDJ in Zodiac answering "no" with bland expression on his face after Jake Gyllenhaal asks him if he is OK.
  • But I did get a bit of a boost when I discovered, as my PC got set up yesterday (and I legit screamed when I saw my boo boo folder again, how I missed it!), that I actually had something in draft saved up from my weekend perving so I just worked from there.
  • This is shorter than usual. But by no means less filthy.

  • Friday, July 7, 2017

    (295) Prepare for the worst + links

    By Sati. Friday, July 7, 2017 28 Comments

  • OF COURSE I made that above gifset. It was the highlight of that movie.

  • Tuesday, July 4, 2017

    "Prisoners" is still so very stupid

    By Sati. Tuesday, July 4, 2017 , , 14 Comments

    (yes, the website is still on hiatus, but my upcoming RF bulletpoint for Prisoners turned into 20-paragraph long rant so yes, we're doing this today)

    There is one thing that fascinates me more than what seems like almost universal love for Denis Villeneuve's 2013's assault on brain cells entitled Prisoners and that is the amount of holes in the story of this film. I can only think of two truly atrocious scripts in the recent memory that dragged otherwise promising and well executed films to the bottom of 'what the fuck?' stupidity - this and Interstellar. And this one may actually be dumber than Matthew McConaughey floating around book shelves in space and coding a watch so that Jessica Eureka Chastain solves physics stuff in the future or past or whenever.

    No, wait. Nope. Nothing is dumber that that.

    I have recently sat through this awfully paced but beautifully shot movie for the third time just to hear Hugh Jackman yell the word "fuck" and look handsome. Don't judge me. At least it allows me to give movies second chances. Or in this film's case second (in March) and third (last Saturday) chance. And in this case proving to me that my initial reaction to it was right on the money.

    Friday, June 30, 2017

    (294) Pass the trapeze, please + links

    By Sati. Friday, June 30, 2017 26 Comments
  • You know that scene in The Devil Wears Prada where Meryl Streep witnesses the dress that was made specifically for her character and she pursues her lips in extreme disapproval? The Greatest Showman trailer - or to be more specific the reactions to that trailer from everyone on this planet who is not so horny for Hugh it clouds all judgment and it's like whatever, if he sat on the crapper for 2 hours and sang "What a Feeling" we would still love it - are that dress. And in that laborious and lovely analogy I'm Meryl Streep. Because I'm thinking come December I'm gonna have to grab a shield and a sword and metaphorically No Man's Land the haters while someone ferociously screams "CRAZY GIRL! NO!' in the background. 

  • Friday, June 23, 2017

    (293) Can God photoshop my life? + links

    By Sati. Friday, June 23, 2017 30 Comments
  • Oh my God. Oh my God this whole video.
  • Well. since you're in good mood now after watching it, I hereby announce that the website and my charming presence in the blogosphere is going on semi-hiatus. I have been running this shit show for 6 years or so and never did this happen in the whole history of this website, but adulting sucks and comes with consequences. That means I'm unfortunately going to be on your websites MUCH less with my wise and super appropriate comments and the only posts here for the next couple of weeks are going to be RFs. I just have too much going on now, the work is insane lately - keep in mind I have a full time job that has nothing to do with movies and is emotionally and - clearly - mentally draining. I wish I could say that this is because I'm hardcore dating (lol) or I'm pregnant (double lol) but no, it's really just because of work. If it slows down, I'll have the time but it's not slowing down at all and it's been like that for several months now. I am exhausted and I really can't keep going like this.

  • Friday, June 16, 2017

    (292) Eat your stupid pancakes and stop moaning! + links

    By Sati. Friday, June 16, 2017 24 Comments
  • So I finally gifed the above from Hugh's last appearance on Jimmy's show back when he was promoting Logan and they played that game where Hugh had to lip read what Jimmy is saying. 

  • Tuesday, June 13, 2017

    Alien: Covenant

    By Sati. Tuesday, June 13, 2017 , , , , , , , 26 Comments
    (spoilers!)

    We need to stop giving the benefit of a doubt to Ridley Scott.

    While the man deserves respect for his two masterpieces - Alien and Blade Runner Scott has now taken the turn that makes it very clear his Alien prequels aren't a thing of passion and certainly not necessity. Why is Scott at 79 years of age set on damaging his masterpiece? (Alien is forever tainted by the existence of the Covenant now). I'm saying this because there is no way anyone can tell me this rehashed, mangled product is the intended movie. This is reactionary.

    Friday, June 9, 2017

    (291) Good girl + links

    By Sati. Friday, June 9, 2017 26 Comments
  •  I gifed the above (it's from The Prestige) because clearly I have no regard for my safety, health and life. And I put the above gif on tumblr because clearly my recklessness applies to those poor thousands of people following me there.

  • Monday, June 5, 2017

    Wonder Woman

    By Sati. Monday, June 5, 2017 , , , , , , 28 Comments
    75 years. That's how long Wonder Woman had to wait for her own movie. 14 years. That's how long the director Patty Jenkins had to wait to do her next film. But now it's finally their time. And with that all the women should cheer - we finally have a CBM movie where it's a woman who is leading, not following.

    And it's wonderful. They should be very proud. We all should be considering the opening weekend box office.

    Saturday, June 3, 2017

    (290) So this is what Marvel feels like + links

    By Sati. Saturday, June 3, 2017 20 Comments
  • (6 comments on last one, what the fuck is going on here? I write this smut down for y'all)
  • As early as Monday this week Hugh apparently decided his fangirls are in too much control of their mental capabilities (which if you read at least one of my posts you KNOW to be a wrong assumption to make) and he posted the above.
  • Sweet Jesus one of those days he will tweet something, I will see it and I will just stop living.

  • Wednesday, May 31, 2017

    My Movie Alphabet Vol. 2

    By Sati. Wednesday, May 31, 2017 22 Comments


    The lovely MettelRay is hosting her second My Movie Alphabet to celebrate 7th birthday of her blog. Here are the rules:

    Saturday, May 27, 2017

    Medicine in the Movies: The Fountain

    By Sati. Saturday, May 27, 2017 , , , 12 Comments


    Charlene's (mostly) Classic Movie Reviews is hosting a Medicine in the Movies blogathon. The task was to write about a movie where there is some relation to medicine. I decided to focus on Darren Aronosfky'sThe Fountain which is such a beautiful and very underrated movie. The film takes place in the 16th century, in 2005, and in 2500. In the past a conquistador fights in a religious war for his Queen. In the future a man and a tree travel up the sky to reach a dying star. And in the present day storyline a doctor is searching for a cure to save his wife who is dying of brain cancer.


    Friday, May 26, 2017

    (289) Lick the clay + links

    By Sati. Friday, May 26, 2017 12 Comments
  • This right here is Hugh sending fans the kiss on stage during Logan premiere at Tokyo on Wednesday. The thing is that this is right after he left hand imprints in...clay.

  • Tuesday, May 23, 2017

    Ed Harris' performances: 1992 - 2001

    By Sati. Tuesday, May 23, 2017 20 Comments
    It's finally time for the second out of four of my posts about all the performances of the great Ed Harris. Last month I wrote, among others, about his big screen debut, first leading role, first performance in major Oscar race contender and his great work in Glengarry Glen Ross (which was last movie featured in last post) (years: 1978 - 1992)

    Now it's an even more exciting - and most successful - time in his career to focus on - his first, second and third Oscar nomination, his most well known role to date and a whole variety of characters he portrayed - from politicians and cops through psychopaths and generals to priests and alcoholic painters. There is nothing this man can't do.

    Friday, May 19, 2017

    (288) Focused + links

    By Sati. Friday, May 19, 2017 16 Comments
  • I have been gifing Logan like a crazy person. The above, I decided, is the most beautiful moment in the movie. And ironically he is putting clothes ON in it.
  • (to be fair there was this long slow shot of his chest right before that. I just made noises while typing that sentence.)
  • It's my avatar on every message board I post on. It's insanely distracting.
  • I gifed the glasses of ovaries doom.
  • I gifed the swearing.
  • I gifed this sad shit.
  • I cannot stop. I'm even taking requests. I'm like a porn peddler.

  • Wednesday, May 17, 2017

    Visual Parallels: Logan + Mad Max: Fury Road

    By Sati. Wednesday, May 17, 2017 , , 28 Comments

    It's almost too perfect. Mad Max: Fury Road is my favorite movie from 2015 while Logan is my favorite in 2017. I do realize it's May but in my experience we only get one masterpiece per year. And Logan is that masterpiece. It's not just well done and beautifully acted film with wonderfully crafted story at the center of it, but it also truly stays with you. Just like Fury Road did.

    Friday, May 12, 2017

    (287) Oh, she *can* talk! + links

    By Sati. Friday, May 12, 2017 31 Comments
  • Hugh and Dafne won Best Duo during MTV TV and Movie Awards and it was the most adorable thing ever...well, the most adorable thing since Hugh fed that baby kangaroo and put the video of it on his instagram.
  • Sir, can you stop being adorable for 5 seconds so I can catch my breath?

  • Friday, May 5, 2017

    (286) Proud + links

    By Sati. Friday, May 5, 2017 26 Comments
  • (I don't know if you guys know how much time these posts take to write but I start them on Saturday and have them in draft entire week and every time I see something to add, I do that. But still on Friday it takes a lot of time to prepare the post to publish. I have been editing this motherfucker for 5h now and every time I think I'm done something new shows up on my twitter feed and I need to change it. No more. I don't care what happens. I'm publishing).
  • Ladies and gentlemen let's open on high note. That high note being Hugh Jackman grabbing his magnificent crotch during cricket match:
  • God bless cricket.

  • Tuesday, May 2, 2017

    Logan. Our Wolverine.

    By Sati. Tuesday, May 2, 2017 , , 16 Comments

    The strong, silent type. He wasn’t in touch with his feelings. He just did what he had to do.

    I always loved Tony Soparno's rants about the archetype of a true man. Someone who simply does the things an honorable man should do, no matter what. Someone who has his own, unspoken code and follows it.

    And I can't help but think that Tony Soprano would have loved Logan.

    We spent so many years with Logan but not until James Mangold's magnificent film which I have not been able to stop thinking for almost two months now, did we really get to see him in all of his glory. In all of his strong, silent type glory. The ultimate hero, but the hero who feels so very human. In Logan you could take his claws away and it wouldn't change much. In Logan we get to see a hero which is not made extraordinary because of his powers, his claws, or the adamantium covering his bones. We get to see that it is something else that made him so very special.


    Monday, May 1, 2017

    Colossal

    By Sati. Monday, May 1, 2017 , , , , , , , , 17 Comments

    Gloria (Anne Hathaway) is an out-of-work blogger and an alcoholic mess, who, after getting kicked out of her apartment by her boyfriend Tim (Dan Stevens), is forced to leave her life in New York and move back to her hometown.When she arrives she reconnects with her childhood friend, Oscar (Jason Sudeikis) who is an owner of a bar. Oscar hires Gloria as  a waitress and helps her get back on her feet.

    When news reports surface that a giant creature is destroying Seoul, South Korea, Gloria gradually comes to the realization that she is somehow connected to his far-off phenomenon. As events begin to spin out of control, Gloria must determine why her seemingly insignificant existence has such a colossal effect on the fate of the world.

    Friday, April 28, 2017

    (285) Don't toy with us, boo kangaroo + links

    By Sati. Friday, April 28, 2017 18 Comments
  • This has been a lovely week with so many boos doing so many beautiful things. Boo kangaroo, Jason boo and Tommy boo all did something awesome this week...oh, how blessed we are, truly. 
  • However today I have seen something truly horrific.
  • It's like I'm seeing him in Les Miserables dive into the sewage again.
  • On Saturday before my vacation was over (on the upside it is 5-day long weekend in Poland starting tomorrow. On the downside I had to actually take a day off on Tuesday because my employer didn't figure out that since Monday and Wednesday are days off it would be decent to give us the day off on Tuesday) I decided to treat myself and watch The Wolverine again. 

  • Wednesday, April 26, 2017

    Soundtrack Wednesday - Logan

    By Sati. Wednesday, April 26, 2017 , , 8 Comments

    Monday, April 24, 2017

    Dolores Claiborne

    By Sati. Monday, April 24, 2017 , , , , , , , 24 Comments
    The story goes that when Stephen King came to visit the set of Misery he was so impressed with Kathy Bates that he wrote the character of Dolores just for her. The book was quickly adapted into a wonderful film, with Bates in a lead role, the film that is sadly very underrated and didn't get the acclaim it deserves. Unlike most of King's work, Dolores Claiborne is not a horror film dealing with supernatural. However, the themes featured in the film - of domestic violence, abuse, growing old and dying are universally horrific.

    Friday, April 21, 2017

    (284) That's not a choo-choo + links

    By Sati. Friday, April 21, 2017 30 Comments
    A post shared by Hugh Jackman (@thehughjackman) on
  • I think we were using the world 'adorable' wrong before applying it ONLY to Hugh.
  • (Checking out the videos on that instagram is guaranteed to put a smile on your face. Trust me. The side effect is that you are going to be insanely distracted...from all of...this perfection. And for a long time...so maybe watch the videos on Friday evening and then lie down for the rest of the weekend.)
  • Also welcome to the world where Girls is finally over! The evil has been defeated! Rejoice! Rejoice!!!
  • So I did another triple Hugh (this sounds like a sex thing...which it kinda is) feature on Saturday. 

  • Monday, April 17, 2017

    Ed Harris' performances: 1978 - 1992

    By Sati. Monday, April 17, 2017 22 Comments
    Ed Harris has been giving us wonderful performances in films and television for more than 40 years. It kills me that most of them go unnoticed, in spite of him being a familiar face to so many movie fans because of his appearances in films like The Hours, Truman Show, A Beautiful Mind or Apollo 13. That's why, as I am getting close to having seen all of his movies, I decided to write about each and every single one of his performances he gave since his movie debut (excluding his voice performances). It was not always easy to find those films, sometimes I only had youtube or video ripped from VHS to go by, but somehow I managed to find them all.

    I will focus on his roles since his feature film debut but also include the ones in TV movies and TV series. That's altogether - in 39 years - 76 performances and that's not including his stage work.

    In this first (out of 4) post I will look at the years 1978 - 1992 and 20 performances Ed Harris gave during that time from his very first role on the big screen that was just one minute long through him playing medieval performers, astronauts, abusive husbands, ordinary guys meeting underwater aliens and frustrated working men.

    Friday, April 14, 2017

    (283) Hammer of the Gods* + links

    By Sati. Friday, April 14, 2017 30 Comments
  • *(this isn't just a reference to the new Thor trailer....but I trust you, dear readers, have been reading this series long enough to realize this as soon as you saw this title).
  • Last week was a relatively short RF. Well, make some coffee, people. Or have a shot of vodka. Or inject heroin in your eyeballs or whatever it is you do to endure this stupidity.
  • Cause this is gonna be as long as it is gonna be pervy. I'm not a Catholic so....forgive me for all of this kinky shit on Good Friday if you are.

  • Monday, April 10, 2017

    The Best (and Worst) of 2016

    By Sati. Monday, April 10, 2017 37 Comments
    Best movie: The Handmaiden
    (2. Hell or High Water 3. The Nice Guys 4. The Conjuring 2 5. The Witch 6. The Neon Demon 7. Manchester by the Sea 8. Hidden Figures 9. Eddie the Eagle 10. Jackie)

    There was only one movie that got 10/10 from me last year and that was the magical Handmaiden. Filled with twists and turns, it's a movie that has everything - great, gripping story, wonderful performances, beautiful visual side, terrific score and characters you care about. If you haven't seen it yet, do. It will enchant you. 

    Friday, April 7, 2017

    (282) No boxer shorts, no briefs or anything + links

    By Sati. Friday, April 7, 2017 19 Comments

  • This is gonna be short(er) RF because I am exhausted. I have my 5 days off for Easter soon but when I woke up today half dead and then had another charming day where by the 9 AM I was fantasizing of raging fire starting in my office and annihilating it all, myself included, I figured I need to take a day off tomorrow too. So RF on Thursday your time this week and since it's usually Friday that brings gossip and news this is mostly gonna be focused on...well, the usual. 
  • What is up with the few comments lately? I sat my ass down and wrote, awful and half-baked Ghost in the Shell review and only 3 of you guys wrote something. Guys, come on. Encourage me to write more. Otherwise this entire blog is gonna be just something that will be evidence in the court of law when Ed Harris and/or Hugh Jackman inevitably sue me.
  • Seriously I'm such a nice person who routinely tweets awesome stuff to brighten people's days. Here are the pictures of boo kangaroo I tweeted this week:
  • #toogoodforthisworld #toopure #Ienvythatslide

  • Tuesday, April 4, 2017

    Ghost in the Shell

    By Sati. Tuesday, April 4, 2017 , , , , , , , , , 12 Comments
     (spoilers !!!)

    The studio executives these days are becoming progressively dumber. I think we can all agree that the lead role in this movie went to Scarlett Johansson because the studio thought it needed star power to make the movie successful. Unless international box office saves it, Ghost in the Shell is a bomb. Scarlett, who is largely the most profitable actress on the planet due to her involvement in Marvel cinematic universe (where she really doesn't do much) is not the person who people go to see in the movies. I really, really love it that's it's Melissa McCarthy who is probably the biggest draw out of female actresses right now.


    Friday, March 31, 2017

    (281) Whack a D*ck + links

    By Sati. Friday, March 31, 2017 22 Comments
  • Yep. I cannot even use spaces in tweets right anymore.
  • Happy Friday! Here's Hugh dubsmashing to Katy Perry. 
  • I just want to say to my dear readers before they read this RF...may God have mercy on your souls. There are two themes this week. First one is: Hugh Jackman is such a gift to humanity and we are not worthy of him. Second is: most men other than him deserve to be whacked in a dick with a tennis racket. I'll explain the latter later on in the post. The former needs no explanation.
  • Let's start:

  • Friday, March 24, 2017

    (280) God bless Australia + links

    By Sati. Friday, March 24, 2017 36 Comments
  • I thought of a nickname for him.
  • Are you guys ready to know what it is? 
  • ...
  • .....
  • .......
  • Boo kangaroo.
  • Exactly.

  • Friday, March 17, 2017

    (279) Go with the flow + links

    By Sati. Friday, March 17, 2017 18 Comments
  • If that's not porn...
  • ...then I don't know what the FUCK porn is.
  • First of all, happy St. Patrick's Day! (though over here every Friday is St. Patrick's Day and technically it's still Thursday were you are, but this thing is so long I had to publish it already. God one knows how much would I add tomorrow)
  • Secondly, I do hope you're about to enjoy the sickest most fun part of any RF - the pervy opening paragraphs 80% of it - because the dark forces (Sony and WB) are gathering (about to take a shit on) and are coming for our favorite things (rebooting the movies we love).
  • But before we get to that....