Monday, May 25, 2015

Game of Thrones 5x07 The Gift

By s. Monday, May 25, 2015 ,

This week on Thrones we got honest to God consensual sex scene. And that's not even the most shocking development in the episode. Two fan favorites finally meet, Sansa starts doing something other than being miserable - though there is still plenty of that and King Stannis makes me both turned on and incredibly worried.

Here we go:
At the Wall Jon is leaving with Tormund and the rest of the expedition for Hardhome. Thorne yet again informs him what a bad idea it is. Jon and Sam have a heartfelt goodbye moment and Sam gives him Dragonglass in case Jon needs to fight Walkers. Hey you know what happens to people who hug on this show? Bad shit.

Back in Winterhell, Theon brings Sansa food. She is laying on the bed, sobbing and we see she is covered in horrific bruises. She pleads for Theon to help her. She tells him that she is locked all the time and Ramsay rapes her every night. She tries to remind Theon who he is. She tells him her family still has friends in the North and tells him to light a candle in the tower as the distress signal.
We see Theon nod and then walk slowly upstairs. We are led to believe he will help Sansa but it turns out he went to see Ramsay instead. Meanwhile - and I shit you not - we get 8 seconds long shot of Brienne standing in the snow storm, watching that goddamn tower. That moron is outside, in the snowstorm, looking at the tower waiting for the candlelight. Pod is freezing his ass off in the background. This we get. THIS WE GET AND YOU DON'T FEATURE MY LADY?!

Ramsay takes Sansa for a walk, in a scene mirroring Joffrey forcing her to look at her father's decapitated head. Sansa grabs some agency in the form of a corkscrew. Ramsay keeps talking about how good of a commander Stannis is but his army is stuck in the snow. He tells Sansa that one day Winterfell will be Ramsay's. Sansa sasses him about being a bastard being legitimized by another bastard.
Ramsay tells her of how bastards can rise in the world and mentions Jon to her - Sansa, who probably thought Jon is long dead is surprised. I'm sure she also thinks that there is one place she can escape to now. The Wall. Of course Jon has just left to fight a bunch of crap. Good luck, everybody.

Ramsay then shows her the purpose of the walk - the old woman who was helping Sansa is flayed, except for her face and nailed to the cross in the yard. Ramsay tells her that Reek told him everything. We see Reek looking miserable. Sansa cannot hold back tears and is being taken to her chamber again, but only after Ramsay tells her to save the candles because "the nights are long". I almost puked.
I actually guessed a development in the show which is not easy given how the show is no longer following the books, closely, or you know - at all. When I saw crying Sansa in the promo for the episode I figured Ramsay probably flayed gradma ex machina. And it happened! So Reeek's blabbering got the one person who was on Sansa's side killed. Oh excuse me there is still Brienne.

Standing in a snowstorm.
This can still go terribly - because you know, it's Brienne. Also Sansa being locked up plot reminded me of Ramsay locking up his wife in the books, Lady Hornwood, which resulted in her first eating her own fingers and then starving to death.

As you can see, this all can be much, much worse.
On the bright side Sophie and Alfie remain the best thing in this season. And you gotta love Sansa's repeated "Promise me". It echoes something of crucial importance from the books which I imagine we will see on the show. There was another lady in the tower once, begging for someone to make her a promise...

Back in hero's camp Davos is telling Stannis of his worries - the men and horses are dying due of cold and Davos tells Stannis they should turn around. Stannis tells Davos that winter can last for years and they need to strike now. Davos is displeased and Stannis remains stubborn. He also looks very tired and miserable. Like seriously, he looks like he is about to collapse. I was so confused watching this because I was both turned on and disturbed.
Stannis puts his hand on Melisandre's back suggestively. I would die. Melisandre is yet again not only the craziest but the dumbest person on the show and refuses him also telling him how they should burn Shireen as sacrifice. Stannis tells her she is his daughter and violently jerks away from her telling her to get out.

I really hope this bitch dies soon.
Unfortunately, the more I think about the more I'm convinced Stannis dies this season and Melisandre burns Shireen to bring him back. Too many things point to this - mainly van Houten and Cunningham, being very unprofessional again and talking about 'shocking event that feels like conclusion' being in the last episodes. I hate it whenever cast says things like that. Nothing good comes from it. Also I cannot imagine Stannis living and Shireen burning. There is no way he agrees to it. The only other solution is for him simply being away when it happens. But would HBO really allow a scene like that? Adorable child burning alive? I don't know anything anymore.

This is the worst.
Back at Castle Black, beloved Master Aemon dies. Sam gives the eulogy and then Thorne tells him his friends keeps dying. What a prick.

And then! The almost rape! Because of course - Gilly is assaulted by two Watchmen and Sam is fighting them off. He gets beaten pretty bad and just as everything looks horrific Ghost shows up and scares them off. I was so relieved there wasn't another rape, I'm not even gonna wonder why the fuck did Jon leave Ghost behind.
And then Gilly is taking care of Sam and they have sex. Sam lets out "oh my" giving the episode the much needed lighter moment.

In Meereen Jorah is sold to one of the slavers. Tyrion beats up a guy to prove that they are a team and a slaver buys him too. Tyrion then tries talking to him and gets bitchslapped.
Meanwhile, Daenerys is shagging Daario who advices her to kill all the powerful masters in the city. Dany says that she is the Queen not a butcher.

Queen of Thorns speaks to High Sparrow and tries to bribe him and threaten him into letting Margaery and Loras go but he is not impressed with her efforts. She gets a message from Littlefinger and goes to his demolished brothel where they have a talk. Littlefinger tells her he has a gift for her - a handsome, young man. I have no idea who the fuck Batman is talking about.
In King's Landing Tommen is throwing a massive hissy fit because he no longer gets lovin' now that Margaery is imprisoned in black cells. Cersei is manipulating him again saying she will do everything in her power to free Margaery and Loras. Then she holds him and tells him how much she loves Tommen and Myrcella and for once she is sincere. She tells him she would do anything for him. That will be echoed in finale episode in Cersei's most powerful moment yet.

Sweet Jesus, they are making Cersei sympathetic again.
Meanwhile, in Dorne, Jaime tries talking to Myrcella and it goes terribly. What a waste of time that scene was. In the cells Bronn is singing and Sand Snakes listen. Tyene really likes his voice and wants Bronn to tell her she is beautiful.

Enter Sand Snake's boobs. Bronn is getting all lightheaded - also because her knife was poisoned. After she gets him to call her most beautiful she gives him the antidote. It was probably the most fun Sand Snakes scene yet but don't expect me to forget that we are getting this while there is still no sign of Stoneheart.
In Meereen, Dany and her soon to be husband are watching slaves fighting. Jorah and Tyrion are in the same place and as soon as Jorah sees her he wants to fight to impress the Queen . Dany doesn't want to watch the spectacle but before she leaves Jorah, wearing a helmet, comes out and defeats everyone.

Jorah finally takes off the helmet and Daenerys tell the guards to get him out of her sight. Jorah yells that he brought her a gift and Tyrion emerges, having been freed out of chains by some dude (what the hell?).
In the monumental event, one that has not happened in the books (yet) - the two meet. Tyrion tells Daenerys that he is her gift and it's very nice to meet her. He introduces himself and Daenerys looks stunned. It was so awesome seeing that scene.

I'm sure Tyrion is gonna make Daenerys' storyline fun again. Also how delightful that we haven't seen Missandai and Grey Worm for a while now.
Back in King's Landing, Cersei brings Margaery a soup. Margaery is not buying any of her shit and tells her she knows she is behind all of this. She kicks the bowl of soup and calls Cersei a bitch. Cersei is all smug and as she leaves and she tells Margaery to sleep well and calls her "sister"

Cersei stops by to talk with High Sparrow. He starts telling her of religion and history and starts wondering what does Cersei true self looks like. Cersei starts being alarmed but pretends she doesn't know what he is talking about.
High Sparrow proceeds to tell her that a young man came to them a while back, someone who was very troubled. Someone who had a lot to say about Cersei. Lancel emerges from the shadows and Cersei begins to flee but she is apprehended by septas.

Cersei is thrown into the black cell herself and tells septa to look at her face because this is gonna be the last thing that septa sees before she dies. Septa locks her in the cell and the episode ends.
I have really no idea where the hell it's all going. Sansa's escape from Winterfell looks inevitable, but where will she go? To Stannis or to Jon? Also they are both in such shitty situations - one has a fanatic and soon Ramsay chasing him, the other has, well, you'll see in next episodes. And Brienne is fucking useless. I have no idea where it's all going but I'm sure it's nothing good.

Also can someone please maybe learn about Sansa's predicament? Jon knows nothing, Stannis knows nothing and yet Littlefinger and Brienne are running around the realm telling where Sansa is to whoever will listen. 
The episode itself other than some scenes that wasted time was very well paced - it was a long episode but you weren't bored for a second and they didn't waste a lot of time on set up scenes - Jon leaving Castle Black was very brief, which I appreciated.

Sansa's storyline finally has Sansa doing something other than being stupid and going along with Littlefinger's plan. Yes, it's a corkscrew, but it's still something. I just hope she kills someone important not Myranda.
Next week it's the biggest battle event of the season in Hardhome - Jon leads the battle, Cersei is subjected to torture in black cells, Sansa tries to get Theon to help her and we see more of Arya's training.


  1. Actually that cersei and tommen scene is straight from the books. In AFFC right before cersei goes to see margaery in her cell, she goes to tommen and hugs and kisses him, breaking down in tears and telling him he's safe.

    What's interesting however is h

    1. Oh really? I must have forgotten then. Still the books had Cersei do a lot of awful things missing from the show

    2. from AFFC

      Tommen was fishing for cats when his mother returned to him. Dorcas had made him a mouse with scraps of fur and tied it on a long string at the end of an old fishing pole. The kittens loved to chase it, and the boy liked nothing better than jerking it about the floor as they pounced after it. He seemed surprised when Cersei gathered him up in her arms and kissed him on his brow. "What's that for, Mother? Why are you crying?"
      Because you're safe, she wanted to tell him. Because no harm will ever come to you. "You are mistaken. A lion never cries.

  2. I'm just gonna' go ahead and comment first cause I've been seething about this the whole day! Didn't have time to watch the whole episode but I made sure to watch the scene with Stannis, as per usual, cause I am too invested and curious. Then, I proceeded to be mad for the rest of the day lol.
    I am so glad there's another person who loves Stannis and hates Melisandre as much as I do, at least on the show(ok, I don't hate her in the book but I don't ship it at all either way). She's been progressively getting on my nerves more and more since season 3 and now she's been hitting new levels of horrible every week. I really want her to go away, die, go to Jon, get lost in the snow, anything! It's even more annoying to me because it seems the producers/writers like to make Stannis look like a totally weak idiot around her, he would never be this way in the book, at least I don't think. As hot as Stephen/Stannis is doing that sensual touching/longing thing, I was cringing and I knew something idiotic will happen so of course she had to come up with the brilliant idea of burning Shireen.
    With 3 episodes left and the threat permanently looming over his head this season, I am genuinely stressed and realize more and more that I am really not ready to never see this visual representation of Stannis/Stephen in Stannis mode. More so, I am upset because, if given a fair treatment, even if he didn't survive til the end/sat on the Throne, he would at least survive this chapter and get closer to the end than he is now, especially with him being the only big contender left who has a sizable army that he is also on the move with and the only one concerned with the Realm itself, he's a major asset in my mind. I imagined he'd die in the end of season 6 or in season 7, but I certainly didn't think he could die stupidly at this point. It's going to be stupid, I can bet, anything from him randomly sacrificing himself instead of Shireen, getting killed by that sadistic psycho Ramsay, who I bet is a fav character of D&D, or killed randomly by Brienne. Hey, maybe he'll slip on ice and split his head open, it's possible.
    I don't want Shireen to die but honestly, if I had to choose, I'd choose for him to live and then kill Melisandre or banish her. How horrible to think that this is the least horrible scenario I could think of now!
    On a lighter note, i don't think the tired-haggard-freezing-starving-bearded look has ever been sexier! Also, whoa, Stephen to me always seems so graceful and careful when touching women like that,and exudes sensuality,some sort of vulnerability too when he acts all full of longing or something, maybe I'm too far gone and seeing things but whatever, it's totally hot and I'm jealous. Totally wasted on Melisandre though, it should be Sansa, I would explode with glee, shipping intensifies.

    1. I think Shireen won't die. They telegraphed it so much and they love surprising the audience. Maybe Selyse has 'mother's mercy' too and pleads for Melisandre to stop. I tihnk whatever happens there leads Stannis to banish Melisandre but the more grim possibility is her burning the girl to bring Azor Ahai and instead of Stannis, Jon rises, though I really don't think Jon will be brought back this season, it ruins perfectly good cliffhanger

  3. The way the show immediately went from making a big deal about "Darth Sansa" at the end of season 4 (which I thought at the time was completely unearned, for the record, given the hack-job they'd done on Sansa's character arc to that point) to "Sansa Stark, sex slave" is still giving me whiplash. I almost wonder if the former was just them desperately trying to buy themselves some leeway to do the latter. Sophie is acting the hell out of this, though.

    Alfie's doing his customary good work too, though I think the way this arc has been reformulated in some ways does him even less favours than Sansa's. He's clearly a supporting character in what was originally his own story, and the way it's been framed, with the emphasis on Sansa, has also informed the tenor of a lot of the general audience commentary on it -- by which I mean, if you read a lot of the reviews, Unsullied observations, etc., they view Theon with extreme contempt and basically think he's a loser and a coward for repeatedly not helping Sansa and, in this episode, betraying the old lady (could we get her a name?) to her death.

    The whole Bronn poisoning bit was pretty pointless (beyond T&A, of course), but that was the first time I thought the Sand Snakes came across as a group with plausible dynamics (Nym and Obara's eye-rolling at Tyene toying with Bronn, for instance). And the actress playing Tyene made that rather campy material work reasonably well.

    The reintroduction of Myrcella is a complete dud, though, no disrespect to the actress, who is stuck playing a role that for some reason appears to have been written as if we're already familiar with who Myrcella is as a character and what's been going on in her life. I got absolutely nothing out of that scene with Jaime.

    I really Jonathan Pryce's High Sparrow, though the writing for the Sparrow movement as a whole seems to swing wildly back and forth between portraying them as gay-bashing thugs (the costume design for the Faith Militant is still unforgiveably villainous-looking) and as people with a genuine socio-economic agenda.

    I though Maester Aemon's final scenes were very nicely done (and then even kept his last words!). I have no idea why Sam and Gilly's canon sex scene required a prologue where two douchebags attempt to rape Gilly (because sexual assault puts ladies in the mood for lovin', I guess?). It's not like they don't already have plenty of reason to leave the Wall.

    1. All of this. The show has been heavy handed about the need for Gilly to leave and Sam going too. Having Alister Throne remind Sam he has no friends left here after Jon and Gilly's unnecessary almost rape on top of Maester Aemon's "Go South Gillyflower," we know they are out of there. And that was an ill timed spot for a sex scene-after he's gotten the stuffing beat out of him and she was almost raped...okay show.
      I never thought I would say Meeren was an improvement...but I am glad the show is streamlining both of Dany's plots and Tyrion's.
      Shireen doesn't get burned. I refuse to acknowledge that or the possibility of Stannis's death.
      Good pick up about Lady Hornwood. Remember the North Remembers tagline in the books? The North Remembers Ned Stark, The Red Wedding and Lady Hornwood's fingers. I bet Sansa does get locked in a tower.
      The best scenes were Jonathan Pryce especially the take down of Oleanna. Cersei and Margarey in the cells and Stannis. And yay for a Ghost sighting!

    2. I really hope Shireen is ok.

      Yeah that Gilly assault thing didn't serve much purpose other than for Ghost finally having something to do.

      The Sparrows are so simplified on the show thank God for Jonathan Pryce giving the character so much nuance


    1. She is so stupid on the show :/ They really made her so one-dimensional, they can remedy this soon but if she attempts to hurt Shireen for real, she is officially one of the most evil people on the show

  5. Probably my favourite episode of this series so far. I'm really glad Tyrion got to Khaleesi already, I was worried that was gonna be another Jaime and Brienne trudge for the whole season. Really disappointed by Dorne though. I was expecting a lot from what's going on there and it's been terrible so far.

    1. Dorne is such a misfire, the worst part is that Doran who is the most interesting person there had 2 scenes so far :/

  6. lol You said agency! I hate that Sansa is getting the Jeyne Poole locked in a room treatment, but I do hope she stabs someone with that corkscrew. I'm not entirely convinced that Theon went straight to Ramsay's chambers. I know it was shot ambiguously, but I kind of feel like Ramsay already knew about that lady and it just using this to brow beat Reek. I could be wrong like I was with the "handsome man"

    I loved Dany and Tyrion meeting. I'm always afraid the GA will ruin those two for me, because they're always like "OMG Tyrion should be king and KHALEESI!" They don't pay much attention to anyone else but those two, but I'm glad that scene played the way it did.

    I think Ghost forgot he's Jon's direwolf. I'm just upset he didn't tear any throats.

    Lovely recap as usual!

  7. Roose is Azor AhaiMay 26, 2015 at 3:08 PM

    Sansa will kill Myranda with that corkscrew.

    1. I really hope she kills someone more important than that

  8. "Stannis puts his hand on Melisandre's back suggestively. I would die." Ahah I was actually thinking that as I saw the two pics of Stephen here. He looks pretty darn hot in all the GoT screencaps you've posted, as you know I have a thing for sexy older man too :P

    1. He looks so tired, though :( I think it's possible we lose Stannis this year :(

  9. Great connection to the "Promise me" thing. I didn't even think about that but it's pretty great. Dammit Reek. I guess it's too soon for him to completely break and it wasn't exactly shocking that the candle lighting didn't work out, but that sucked.

    I also didn't pick up how dumb it is that Jon wouldn't have brought Ghost with him. That is really silly. But it was a very cool way for that scene to end and remind everyone that there is a damn direwolf at the Wall.

    I was not expecting Jorah/Tyrion to come across Dany so soon! I really thought that would happen at the end of the season. The looks on their faces were fantastic. Can't wait to watch them interact.

    1. I really hope this week Reek finally does something to help Sansa.

      Well some people say that it would be tough having Ghost on the boat, but I don't buy that.

      I hope they have a lot of interactions in spite of Dany...traveling near the end of episode 9 :)

  10. Great recap!! Loved the Tyron and Dany meeting, I thought that was very well done. Sophie Turner and Alfie Allen are so amazing, as usual. I don't think it was Theon who went and told Ramsay. Ramsay may be an asshole, but I think he's smarter than he lets on. I still don't understand what D&D are doing with Brienne and Pod, but I still love them.

    I will DIE if Shireen ends up being burnt, I would fucking die. No way should that happen, not after we got that beautiful father-daughter scene :(

    1. Thank you! Oh it was Theon who told him :/ Brienne and Pod looks to be back on the book track in season 6 based on the new casting leaks so it is only making their current storyline more bizarre :/

      I think something horrible is gonna happen in Team Dragonstone this year:/

  11. Great write up as always Sati. We are all scared together!

  12. "There was another lady in the tower once, begging for someone to make her a promise..." Mmm, very interesting, I just hope Sansa doesn't end up pregnant with Ramsey's baby. That would make me puke. :)

    Also interesting speculation about burning Shireen to resurrect Stannis. I thought the red priestess would go back to the Wall for her storyline there. Anyways, looking forward to the final three, I really hope these are the strongest of the season. Great post!

    1. You never know, apparently they love putting Sansa in more and more awful situations :/

      Mel is at the Wall in the books but what is in the book is no longer a good indicator of what's gonna be in the show which makes everyone super nervous

  13. Ahh, how I knew Cersei would get locked up. If I were her I'd at least raise a decent army and send it in King's Landing so that they protect me from these religious psychopaths. Damn it Cersei religion=usually seriously fucked up shit. Just talk to Melisandra and you will see ;d.

    When I saw that Theon visited Ramsey I thought he after all went to the tower, but it just happened that Ramsey was there. Him admitting everything caught me off guard.

    All in all, a solid episode.

    1. The King's armies look so weak - they cannot do shit :P All in all it really shows that the show doesn't have enough resources and time to adapt things properly