Game of Thrones 5x04 Sons of the Harpy

We open and check in with Jorah who loads unconscious Tyrion on a boat. The lighting in this scene is worse than in most Stannis' scenes, so that's one hell of an accomplishment. Also there is no Genry rowing in the background, so opportunity missed?

On another boat, in a shameless but welcomed fan service Jaime asks one of the crew what is that island on the horizon. Turns out it's Tarth. Jaime has the most amazing "Brienne I miss you" look on his face. It's a shame that instead of thinking about him Brienne focuses on stupidity like wanting to avenge Renly.
Then Bronn and Jaime are talking and the conversation moves to Tyrion. Jaime says the next time he will see Tyrion he splits him in half. Jaime's character moving back and forth without any sense whatsoever continues.

In King's Landing during the council meeting Cersei sends Mace to Braavos and assigns Merryn Trant to go with him. Then she is talking to High Sparrow telling him there is a great sinner in their midst. Cersei is trying to use Sparrows as her weapon and she is even pretending to dislike wine in front of High Sparrow.

The Sparrows raid the brothel, among many other places, to rid the city of debauchery. Also Lancel arrests Loras for being gay. And hence Loras' sole characteristics in the show is finally used for something else than bare ass - and Dorne birthmark - in sex scenes.

Margaery is furious and demands that Tommen makes sure Loras is freed. Tommen goes to Cersei and she plays dumb. Tommen doesn't know what to do. I feel for him - his mother is a bitch and his wife is a smirking idiot. Also it's increasingly disturbing that the show aged Tommen just so that he could have a sex scene with Margaery yet they have him acting all innocent and essentially looking like a child.
Tommen goes to talk to the Sparrows but they deny him entry while the crowd gathered behind him calls him 'bastard'. Sweet Tommen decide to go away, depicting kindness and weakness. Then, clearly worried that Margaery will deny him access to her entry, he tries to calm her down but she walks away saying she wants to be with her family.

I really hope the Tyrells bite it. The way they are now are just sexual pawns for D&D. Loras primary (only?) characteristic is that he is gay. When it comes to Margaery they resorted her to control Tommen with sex. Not with kindness, interest or intelligence. No. For these writers the safest way to a man is through woman's vagina. I'm not sure who they are offending more with this. Although there was upcoming scene with Melisandre that suggested that sometimes boobs fail the mission.
But I cannot be mad too long because in the next scene Stannis is leaning on a railing like a goddamn male model. Unfortunately, his two psycho women are there with him.

Selyse is trash talking Jon and then Shireen as usual and Melisandre is spewing more psycho bullshit. I hate the fact that she is going with Stannis after he leaves the Wall. Stay away from him!I f Stannis takes out his mighty sword and slaughters them both I'd be more happy than if he was naked. Selyse is a constant threat to Shireen and the show butchered Melisandre to the point right now is just an equivalent of a psycho naked nymphomaniac nun.
Then Melisandre is exposing herself to Snow and practically molesting him. Jon doesn't want to do it with her and she throws 'you know nothing, Jon Snow' at him. Coming from woman who would rather do Jon than stannis this is really rich. Also - why? Carice van Houten is a talented actress yet season after season her performance is reduced to her showing her breasts and Melisandre comes off as evil, and there is no amount of Martin proclaiming otherwise that can rescue the perception that comes from watching the show. The last decent thing she did was saving Davos' life in finale to season 3

Then we get the most beautiful moment Stannis was handed so far and the finest acted out scene of the season - Stannis is sitting alone in his chamber and Shireen comes over. Stannis asks if she is lonely and Shireen responds she is bored. She asks Stannis if he is ashamed of her.
Stannis gets up and tells her how when she was born a Dornish trader came over to Dragonstone. Stannis got a doll for Shireen. He says he still remembers how she smiled when he put that doll in her cradle. It turned out that the doll was the source of greyscale. Stannis says the following:

"Everyone advised me to send you to the ruins of Valyria to live out your short life with the Stone Men before the sickness spread through the castle. I told them all to go to hell. I called in every maester on this side of the world. Every healer, every apothecary. They stopped the disease and saved your life. Because you did not belong across the world with the bloody Stone Men. You are the Princess Shireen of House Baratheon. 

And you are my daughter."
Shireen runs to Stannis and hugs him. He stands still until he puts his arms around her and hugs her back. I was just beside myself during that scene. We all knew Stannis loved his daughter just from the two lovely scenes - in season 3 him visiting her and in season 4 him reacting strongly to Selyse's suggestion that Shireen should be hit with a rod. But this is the new level. Also it's so tragic that the doll Stannis gave her caused her illness. Stupid Dorne!

I'm hoping with all of my heart that this is not one of those "let's make you all love the character so that when they are SAVAGELY MURDERED you are more devastated". There is so much talk about the possibility of either one of them crazy bitches burning Shireen alive or Stannis dying in the show this season - FUCK YOU BRIENNE - and I just hope they are all red herrings. Lord save them both.
Either way, just give Stephen an Emmy now.

My make up just got completely shot to shit. Waterproof my ass.

In Winterfell Sansa is paying her respects in the crypts. She lights a candle for her aunt Lyanna and the feather Robert Baratheon left in her hand in the series' very first episode falls on the ground. Damn, that is one enduring father. Anyways Sansa picks it up and Littlefinger approaches. They talk about Lyanna and Rhagear. Sansa says that Rhaegar raped Lyanna and Littlefinger throws her a curious look.
The whole Lyanna and Rheagar thing may just be the key to one of the series' most important things and that look from Littlefinger made me worried that they will give him the honor of revealing the truth. I hope it's not the case because that would be a travesty.

Littlefinger then tells Sansa to use Ramsay and fool him. Then he tells her he is leaving for King's Landing. All was left was a sign "LOL good luck Sansa don't get flayed". There is no defending of Littlefinger's plan. His whole reasoning is that Stannis will win the battle and grant Sansa Winterfell. But wouldn't it be better to wait with Sansa in the Vale until after Stannis actually battles Boltons and wins than throwing her to those psychos?
In Dorne Jaime and Bronn are bonding near fire. Jaime mentions that the best way to die is in the arms of the woman, which was probably another fan service. Then Dornish riders arrive and what follows is an amusing scene echoing Brienne and Jaime's journey when they were trying to conceal his identity. The conflict breaks out anyways and Bronn and Jaime kill the riders.

Next we meet Sand Snakes. Ellaria rides and speak with them - the three daughters of Oberyn - Obara, Nym and Tyene. Ellaria tells them that they can either do what Doran wants - peace - or choose her way - revenge. The Sand Snakes choose revenge and reveal the captain buried in the sand who told them he smuggled Jaime Lannister. Obara kills him by throwing a spear through his head.

We are getting this instead of Stoneheart?!

Jorah and Tyrion have a great scene on the boat where Tyrion guesses Jorah wants to win Daenerys' favor by bringing her a prisoner as famous as Tyrion. Tyrion taunts Jorah about working as a spy (remember when in season 1 Varys wanted to use Jorah to kill Dany and now he is seeking Dany to put her on throne? Don't look for logic, just have fun) and her finding out. Jorah punches Tyrion.

In Meereen Barristan is telling Dany of Rheagar. Yep, that's the show trying to catch up with 4 seasons lack of enough mentions of Rhaegar and Lyanna and now giving you two per week. It's a sweet scene and it also reeks of what I'm hoping Shireen/Stannis scene is not secretly reeking of - this character is good and noble, do you like him? Like him, because they are about to die a horrific death.
So in the ending of the episode we get Barristan and Grey Worm fighting Sons of the Harpy in a brutal and very exciting and well orchestrated sequence. They both take many down, but they are wounded and fall on the ground, presumably dead. Well in one case not even presumably, if you saw the promo for next episode.

It's a shame that's it for Barristan. I remember how excited everyone was at the end of season 3 premiere when Barristan joined Dany. The greatest fighter in Seven Kingdoms only got one fight scene in the end. As for the rest of the episode it's hard not to get frustrated with what the show includes and what it omits - hopefully though at least it still manages to surprise and those obvious red herrings and foreshadowing moments are not that obvious in the end.
Next week in Kill the Boy Stannis leaves Castle Black, Sansa sees Ramsay's true colors and Jorah and Tyrion encounter few surprises on their journey
PREVIOUS RECAPS FROM THE SEASON: