Monday, April 27, 2015

Game of Thrones 5x03 High Sparrow

By s. Monday, April 27, 2015 ,
This episode might as well be called "Everyone is dying inside". Cersei. Sansa. Jorah. Reek has mentally check out seasons ago but seriously, he reached some new levels of that this week. Also - Sansa fans. Dying inside all over the place.

In the House of Black and White Arya is cleaning the place as some shady shit is going on in the background. Overall this is far from most interesting storyline this year but the design of the house itself is really great.
In King's Landing Margaery marries Tommen and Cersei is in despair but smiles trying to hide it. In a very controversial change, a result of Tommen being a bit older in the show, Tommen and Margaery actually consummate the marriage and Tommen looks pretty much like every guy who has had the first time. Margaery uses the opportunity to tell Tommen Cersei would be happy elsewhere.

The next morning Margaery is bragging to other ladies about Tommen's enthusiasm. Cersei overhears that. Margaery shouts "Mother!" and throws shade at Cersei saying she wishes she had some wine to offer but it's too early for her and her friends. She also talks of Tommen's sexual appetite.
OK. I can take Daenerys whitewashing. Tyrion whitewashing. But Cersei?! Because three episodes in and I want to hug her and just punch that stupid Margaery in the face. First of all there is bad writing for Margaery and Dormer delivering levels of terrible that make me miss Shae. She has no idea what she is doing. The thing about Margaery is her intellect and what does she do in every scene? She continues to provoke Cersei for no reason at all.

And that wine line. That was so mean. I felt so bad for Cersei. I think Dormer's Margaery is beyond hope but I hope the show starts showing Cersei doing horrible things soon because so far we didn't see even half of the atrocities she committed. The weight of the scenes is wrong - yes, they show she is assassinating innocent little people in search for Tyrion but it's not emphasized enough. I hope they will include Qyburn's experiments soon.
We travel to Winterfell. I have not mentioned my heart breaking when, ever since the premiere, we see Winterfell with Bolton sigils, have I? Well it's me mentioning it. The place is a fucking horror show with rotting flayed bodies, two of the new ones being lifted just as Reek is passing by. Alfie Allen is one hell of an actor. He has only few scenes in this ep and he delivers amazing performance without uttering a single word.

Roose is dining with Ramsay and we find out Roose arranged for Ramsay to marry. He says he found the perfect match and in the editing cut that probably caused the screams of horror - and/or vomiting - from every single person watching the show we see Sansa riding with Littlefinger. He tells her of his plan - she will marry Ramsay so that she could take the North.

Sansa protests and Turner is really wonderful here but no amount of good acting can rescue that plot. It's asinine - a number of things here don't click, including LF claiming Sansa is not really married to Tyrion because they never consummated the marriage and that he doesn't know much of Ramsay. Ramsay is fucking running around flaying people and cutting their dicks off and Littlefinger knows nothing about this? Do the writers think we are brain damaged?
They are currently in Moat Caitlin and we see Brienne and Pod overlooking them. What follows is wonderfully acted scene where Brienne talks to Podrick about Renly. In a horrific twist that made me go all 'stay away from him you bitch' Brienne mentions her oath to kill Stannis for what he did to Renly. I like you Brienne. But fuck off.

In the next scene Stannis comes to see Jon. He is so hot in that scene I had to rewatch it to actually hear the words that were being said. Jon refuses Stannis offer to become the Lord of Winterfell and Stannis remarks how honorable Jon is. They discuss wildlings and Stannis mentions that Jon should speak with Tormund and perhaps he will be willing to compromise more than Mance.
Stannis also gives Jon advice to send Alliser somewhere because he is Jon's enemy. I was very impressed with Stannis ability to compromise here. He is softer to Jon than to other people and his scenes benefits from the fact that Melisandre, a raving lunatic on the show, is not in them. After Stannis leaves we have Davos explain his behaviour to Jon and trying to convince Jon that if he went to Winterfell he would still fulfill his vows - being the shield that guards the realm of men.

In Braavos Arya meets another girl who is in the House of Black and White. The girl is really mean to Arya. Jaqen walks in and tells Arya she needs to give all of her things up. Arya is then throwing her possessions into the sea but she hesitates before throwing away Needle. Arya hides Needle instead. Maisie Williams' acting in this scene was just wonderful, I think it might have been her best scene on the show so far.
Next Sansa arrives in Winterfell. Sophie Turner's acting here was so good - Sansa approaches Roose he says "Lady Sansa" and she has this really cold look on her face that last few seconds before she takes a bow and responds to his greeting. She then is introduced to Ramsay who is desperately trying to look normal. We then see dramatic cut to Myranda looking jealous as hell.

Sansa is then taken to her room by an old woman who says to her "Welcome home, Lady Stark. The North Remembers". This almost made me cry.

Fine, it made me cry.

A lot.
Next up we are back on the Wall where Jon presides over meeting with fellow brothers of the Night's Watch. Slynt is sassing him, refusing to follow his order and generally being his usual awful self. Jon goes "Olly, bring me my sword". Slynt is carried outside, not even Thorne wants to help him. Jon is shown alone in the room, he finishes the drink and he goes outside.

He takes the sword from Olly and as he is approaching Slynt, whose head is now resting on the block, we also see Stannis, strolling around sexily in the background. The same music heard when Theon beheaded Rodrick and Robb beheaded Karstark is playing in the background
Slynt asks for mercy and Jon hesitates for a moment. But then rage comes over him and he cuts Slynt's head off. Jon looks up and Stannis gives him a slight and respectful nod of approval. This is by far the finest scene of the season so far. Slynt has been a horrible person - who betrayed Ned Stark in season 1, killed babies on Joffrey's order in season 2  and showed incredible cowardice in season 4. And now Jon got to kill a man who essentially participated in Ned's death.

While there is a significant change here that is as usual unnecessary - in the book the iconic line is not to Olly and not about sword but "Edd, fetch me a block!" - it was still less offensive than changing "Only Cat" to "Your sister" last season. The nod wasn't as noticeable as I imagined it but it was still a very well done, exceptionally shot scene.
Ah, the brothel scene. Not one, not two, but seven whores. At least the scene had a purpose as they showed High Septon indulging in a little the Seven sex show. Then the Sparrows walk in a drag him outside, terrorizing everyone in the brothel.

Then they showed Septon's ass. Why HBO. Why do you always show the assess and dicks of people we really don't want to see naked? Would it kill you to show naked Stannis? Would it? Why do you do things like that HBO?

Anyways Septon is outraged and goes to tattletale to Cersei and her council. Mace is hilariously outraged at the fact Septon was in the brothel and Pycelle's, old perv, is obviously defending him. Cersei decides to see the High Sparrow. She goes to Flea Bottom, filled with poor people and talks with him. It was a very well acted scene and Jonathan Pryce is already very good in the role

Cersei then goes to see Qyburn in his creepy cave and she gives him a letter to send to Littlefinger. After she leaves something under the covers moves. Qyburn says 'rest easy, my friend'. I bet every single non book reader already guessed who is there but do this but you don't do Stoneheart?
In Winterfell Reek is doing something degrading - probably picking up poop or something and Sansa passes by. Reek turns his head away in shame. Ramsay is looking at Sansa, telling Littlefinger he won't harm her. Roose approaches and has a little chat with Littlefinger about his loyalties. He is wondering why Littlefinger is willing to betray the Lannisters. You and everyone in the audience, Roose. Roose gives him the letter from Cersei and says he would like to read Littlefinger's reply to it.

Back in Volantis Tyrion has enough of sitting in the carriage and goes outside with reluctant Varys following him. The two see the Red Priestess preaching to the crowd about the savior - the Dragon Queen. Tyrion mentions how the only priest they had in King's Landing was Thoros of Myr (Thoros mention crackpot get hype 100/100!!!) and this one is much better looking. Suddenly the priestess turns her head at Tyrion and stares at him intensely. Freaked out Tyrion tells Varys to get out of there and find a brothel.
In front of a brothel the guard rubs Tyrion's head saying that it's good luck to rub dwarf's head. Tyrion responds it's even better luck to suck dwarf's cock and Varys is throwing apologetic looks everywhere. Inside of the brothel Tyrion talks with a prostitute but once she is willing to go with him he says he cannot do that. Clearly it's the memory of Shae stopping him.

But there is something else happening in that brothel. There is a prostitute there, with her ass hanging out, wearing clothes and a wig that make her look like Daenerys. There is a bunch of men she is entertaining and at another table we see Jorah, drinking and dying inside. Hard.
Tyrion goes outside to take a piss and Jorah follows him. He then captures him and says he is taking him to see the Queen...

That was a true Thrones explosive ending, one that we didn't have probably since 4x08. I am so excited for the pairing of Tyrion and Jorah - two outcasts. Overall in spite of the many issues this was a very strong episode and while Sansa's storyline is puzzling at least it can lead to something interesting, unless they go torture porn which I really don't think they dare to do.
Next week, in The Sons of the Harpy, we check in with Jaime and Bronn, Cersei strikes back and situation in Meereen grows more dangerous.



  1. Wait a minute. Now that Janos is dead that leaves Cersei, Varys, Barristan and some random guards as the only people still alive that know of Littlefinger's betrayal of Ned. Stannis better not make an alliance with that pedophile.

  2. We're probably suppose to cheer as Margaery is bullying Cersei but Dormer is a such a bad actress and Headey a good actress that I just wanted Cersei to slap Margaery in the face in that scene lol

    1. Dormer can be really good, but she was always miscast and now it truly shows, the writing for her character is awful too

  3. Excellent recap as always!

    Brienne is one of my top 5 favorite characters and even I groaned at her mentioning killing Stannis. Come on, Renly wasn't that cool! Kill Melisandre if you must.

    Littlefinger's dumbfuckery is going to drive me to drink more than I already do this season. Sophie was excellent though. You're right about Alfie Allen too. That guy is tremendous and not enough people talk about him.

    Another great point is the male nudity on this show. We see the High Septon's ass, yet Iain Glenn is wearing clothes all the time. The fuck is that?

    I actually like Margaery throwning shade. I think it's hilarious, and it's building towards Cersei (hopefully) losing her shit.

    1. Thank you!

      Oh Brienne killing Melisandre would solve so many of my problems ^^

      I really cannot comprehend LF's actions but I'm sure he will amaze us with his stupidity more times this season

      It's awful, only Madden and Nikolaj took one for the team.

      I cannot wait for Margaery to stop smirking like an idiot ^^

  4. Great recap, once again!

    I really loved Brienne and Pod's scenes in this episode… up until her vow of vengeance. Please please please D&D bring Stoneheart to the show.

    Alfie Allen has been consistently good throughout the whole series, it's really a shame not many people talk about him. Sophie Turner has improved a lot as well.

    1. Thank you!

      I really hope she shows up. Now things are just...worrying.

      Allen was amazing indeed, I loathe his character but he is so good

  5. One of these days, when I finally see these, I'm going to have to read all of your episode posts. I made the mistake of skimming this and reading spoilers and now I'm mad at myself. LOL!

    1. Oh Jesus this will take you more than watching the show! No worries, every episode is filled with twists :)

  6. My coworker's been constantly talking about how good this episode is. Well sounds like you agree w/ him. LOVE Stannis pic here He looks so regal... and handsome :P

    1. Oh yes he looks better and better with each season and he stopped shaving :D

  7. The Janos scene wasn't quite as amazing as I hoped but was still really great. I'm not sure if other non-readers had the same reaction to the scene as you were supposed to because they didn't remember Janos's history with Ned and all. Oh well. I do love the detail you pointed out that the "same music heard when Theon beheaded Rodrick and Robb beheaded Karstark". That's awesome.

    They really need to have Cersei go psycho bitch & soon. If they go the complete sympathy route with that storyline it will be ridiculous.

    Can't wait to watch Tyrion and Jorah interact!

    And one last thing, I thought that LF was playing dumb about not knowing much about Ramsey? Maybe I'm just giving him too much credit. I also felt like his overall plan can't be for Sansa & Ramsey to stay married, but just to get in there and then get the upperhand? I'm intrigued, but mostly to see Sansa & Theon interactions. Alfie was so good!

    1. It's really building up as pro Cersei and against Margaery this season, they can easily fix it with the introduction of experiments subplot but who knows what they'll do :/

      They have really good scene in episode 4, I'm sure there is more to follow

      I think LF is as stupid as it looks, sadly :/

  8. A splendid review once again!

    But seriously, this is my 3rd comment that I am posting. I will copy it and might double post it depending on what my screen will show after I hit the 'Publish' button. I think I am very close to finding out when Google+ fucks with me.

    Oh and, fuck you Google+!

    Moving to Thrones now. ;d

    I almost felt bad for Cersei. And few are the thing that I remember on the show in which she committed terrible things. Actually, right now it's only one - when she provoked that accident with the wine and the king, but it was to protect her incestuous children so I can't blame her here (for as much as I remember). And I didn't quite get that she was the one who ordered the murder of all those babies (until you explained the whole thing) See? Good job show. I need to follow a blog so as not to get confused. Need I mention the rape scene.

    Margery you sassy goat! You surpass even your enemy in sass! Book Cersei show her!

    Right before Arya was about to throw needle in the water I was thinking 'Why not hide it in the rocks?' And she did! I am so glad she did. I can almost imagine 2 seasons from now when she's an assassin and she takes it looking like a bad ass ready to kill some fuckers!

    (It's Canyu and I'm posting my comment as Anonymous cause Google+ hates me).

    1. Thank you!

      I'm so sorry about commenting issues. I generally always copy my comment before publishing, just in case.

      Well she was also responsible for Lady, Sansa's wolf dying :/ Oh in the show she didn't order the killing of babies, it was Joffrey, but it was her in the books. In the show she just went along with it.

      The show should really show her evil side more, so far she is really almost justified in her actions!

  9. I just want to say I love your recaps in general and I love your love for Stannis/Dillane because he is the absolute hottest thing on this show hands down and Stannis is my fav. character in the book so with Dillane playing him I became 100x more obsessed.
    I guess I should start commenting, if that's ok(who knew introversion was a thing even when behind a computer lol), I might not be very coherent when Stannis is in the episode but I feel you get my struggle with that :P. He really was so gorgeous in that scene with Jon, I really couldn't with his face and general sexiness. I think Stannis brings out all of Dillane's sexiness and the more he's in the role, the sexier he gets.

    Haven't gotten around to watching the whole episode yet but I'm so worried about Stannis, Sansa and Brienne.
    I like Sansa, she's not my favorite but I wish they would stop with the abuse arcs, especially when it wasn't her arc in the first place. She's not going to die, I don't think, but I sense disturbing scenes in her future.
    Now, Brienne is in my top 3-4 characters and I love her dearly but I rolled my eyes so hard and was so pissed at her line about killing Stannis, it ruined a perfectly beautiful ,good scene. I mean, I was already afraid Stannis will get killed by D&D cause they don't care about his character and don't get him, now I am extremely afraid that not only is he going to get killed ,but that it will ruin Brienne for me in the process by having her kill him. This season is a struggle!

    Also, I don't think we'll get Lady Stoneheart but that's just me.

    1. Thank you so much! So glad to see so much love for Stannis here! ^^

      I love the scruff, the armor, basically everything as him as Stannis ^^ He is so tough too which is also really hot. But I really always adore Stephen's characters, even when he plays villains. He has the most gorgeous....everything, really :)

      I think that Brienne won't kill him - a lot of people pointed out that when someone wants to get revenge on the show, they rarely do. It's very possible that Brienne helps Sansa escape and sees that Stannis is Sansa's only shot at safety so she will be forced to choose which of her oaths to follow and I feel she will follow Catelyn's.

      That season would be best by miles if she was in :( I still have a bit of hope

    2. Oh man, the love for Stannis is never-ending in my case, I am always obnoxious when it's GoT season cause of it!!!!!!!! I could literally write walls of text just obsessing over my love for Stannis and for Stephen's Stannis.

      I haven't seen all that much of Stephen outside GoT and he's been sexy and beautiful in all I've watched so far, but I think a character like Stannis really makes his sexiness reach its full potential. Btw, I've seen The Tunnel, that John Adams thing(not entirely though), The Greatest Game Ever Played ,The Hours(a long time ago though, should rewatch) and scenes from other movies. Also, his voice is fit for a warrior King, I turn the volume up during his scenes haha!

      It's such a shame D&D seem to hate and/or not understand Stannis(they kinda' said it themselves a while back), I think he's very complex, interesting and a good contrast to most of the other characters. Actually, with Stephen in the role, show!Stannis really adds to book!Stannis in ways in which perhaps words aren't able to. Since Stephen has such an expressive face/eyes and a magnetic presence, even when Stannis acts all cold and closed off or rough, his face, eyes and general body language suggest vulnerability, depth, discomfort ,feelings in general. It's really a shame they don't use Stephen's talent more, they could, the material is in the books to develop on but instead they spent at least a season and a half portraying him like some sort of religious fanatic .

      I hope you're right about Brienne and it does look like at least part of her arc this season will involve Sansa and if he saves her ,it would be really nice for her character! It's probably silly fanfic on my part ,but I would like for Brienne to somehow get to know Stannis and understand where he's coming from because they have a similar sense of duty and I'd like to think Stannis wouldn't be that prone to mocking her for being a woman and a Knight.

      It would be great if they realized Stannis is good for advancing the story right now, he has a strong army, he's dynamic and wants to get things done and could make a final battle between Daenerys or/and the Walkers or whatever, more interesting. In that sample from the next book ,he's looking to strengthen his army so that's even better, but they already had him go to Braavos instead of the Braavosi bankers coming to him. Ugh, I just don't want him to die yet, it would be such a shame, even if he lived longer in the books, now book!Stannis is totally linked to show!Stannis in my mind.
      I also hope they don't burn Shireen but somehow that scene in episode 4 may exist precisely because at least one of them is going to get killed.

      I've been waiting for LS every episode last season and it's hard to predict because they are changing a lot of things and so her role in the story might go to someone else or just ditch her completely, which is stupid.

      Oh wow ,I better stop, it's turning into an anxious babble haha. Sorry for the wall of text!

    3. Oh you should see Firelight and Fugitive Pieces! He's insanely sexy in these and the films are so beautiful.

      I think they manage to do even worse job with Melisandre - she is such a lunatic on the show, same with Selyse, the one thing that really makes Stannis look bad is the very association with these two. I hate that Melisandre is gonna be leaving the Wall with him, I really don't like it when she is anywhere near him, or anyone for that matter.

      Thankfully Stephen has a lot of scenes this season and a particularly lovely one in episode 4.

      I wonder what's up with Yara but Bri could take over some of her scenes with the King. But I' m sure Yara will play her part just like in the books, since the show even had that pointless rescue mission scene last season to remind people that she exists.

      I read a suggestion lately that LS would be simply too difficult for them to pull off. They are kinda terrible with fantasy elements on the show except for dragons and that WW scene last season. This is probably too much of a challenge for them, but it's a big shame the series is being adapted by people with such limitations

    4. I've seen pictures and gifs from both those movies, all gorgeous, and the Fugitive Pieces one seems to be right up my alley since I think it has some WWII connection. I've been low key stanning since the first scene he had on GoT and knowing death is always a great probability, I tried to keep my stanning for Stephen in check so I stayed away from most things but my resolve has been slowly melting away the past couple of years and watching The Tunnel made it worse. Now I'm pretty much giving in, the only thing keeping me from going full stan is my worry that Stannis will die, which would be tragic anyway but it's about 100x more tragic considering I am particularly attached to Stephen's Stannis. Lol but if he survives lawd help me!

      I can't wait for that scene in the next episode (OMG IT'S TOMORROW!!! - I'm in Europe so it airs at 4am, not a good time so I have to wait til Monday afternoon/evening), I've seen a couple of stills and I already can't with it, it looks so sweet! That scene pus simply having Stannis and Jorah feature for more than a couple of minutes each in the same episode makes me very excited! Also, that Sansa arc is a total mess but it's like train wreck, I can't look away. Not to mention that I hate myself everytime Baelish and Sansa share a scene cause it's so creepy but Aidan makes it creepy in a hot way and I disgust myself for enjoying it and just generally enjoying Baelish, even this stupid version of Baelish cause yeah, it's totally idiotic to have it seem like the guy doesn't know about Ramsay and what loose cannons the Boltons are. But hey, one way or another, they had to put Sansa in a situation where she would get abused again, regardless of how it ends, whether she takes revenge or not.

      Honestly, I really want Yara/Asha to interact on screen with Stannis, I like her a lot and I find the actress a good fit so it would be nice and a more relevant scene than what she had last season. But I do also want him to interact with Brienne, as long as it involves talking and zero violence, she's my 2nd favorite at this point and Gwen is so great. I get why Brienne is mad but she has the wrong impression of Stannis and if his royal hotness can't magically make her want to at least give him a chance, then better stay away.

      I see why LS would be hard to pull off but it adds to the story and I think that, if they must make changes to her character/arc then I'd rather they somehow altered the way she's supposed to look, u know, make a change that would not cut the character out but maybe make it easier to pull off visually. With the success the show's been having, HBO could probably give some extra money to use for such scenes, but maybe not, who knows.

    5. If that helps Stephen has been in tons of movies so there is always something to watch with him and I'm super happy there is gonna be The Tunnel season 2, he is so adorable there, in spite of playing a cheating husband :)

      As for Yara it looks like she will actually be in this season, so fingers crossed ^^ Brienne is continuously being ruined by writers this season :/ I still hope for LS because Walder Frey is rumored to return next year, it's absolutely ridiculous that for a season and a half now the Freys faced absolutely no repercussions for RW. I cannot believe that D&D wanted to make the series mostly because of how insane of a sequence RW is yet they are completely ignoring the second part of the tale - revenge for it.

  10. Jon is really getting the spotlight shown on him this season I'm guessing? It was like, Robb before him and now Jon following, and getting to be badass and awesome. And it's a really good things seeing him progress as a man and as an actor as well. He is slowly becoming more confident and it kind of works well for the character as well. Maybe it was all that sex! :D

    Oh, I'm waiting for the fourth recap to be honest, I bet that scene with Stannis and his daughter floored you?!? I mean, even I was like, damn!

    1. Oh my God. I saw that scene about 15 times already, weeping like insane

  11. "Maisie Williams' acting in this scene was just wonderful, I think it might have been her best scene on the show so far."

    I totally agree, you know I'm a big Ayra fan and she totally killed that scene. Loved it. I think everyone has really improved in terms of acting, especially Sophie Turner.

    Still not that big on Kit Harrington.

    1. I think Dormer is getting worse. She is the weakest part of the season for me.