(This is my new avatar, my attitude towards 97% of life and 99% of that ceremony.)
If you didn't see last night terrible Emmy ceremony you really (almost) didn't miss anything.
Holy shit, you guys. I've been spending my nights doing bar exam tests - a futile and pointless exercise - but if someone told me just how terrible that ceremony will be I would have gladly do those instead of watching that crap.
I've been livetweeting that bitch here's a tweet that I feel truly captures that night:
You thought Oscars were bad? Dudes...
Let's start with
CONS shall we?
All those celebrities were interviewed on red carpet and asked what shows do they like and root for and not one of those bastards answered Game of Thrones. HOW DARE YOU.
Julie Bowen's dress. It was so terrible.
January Jones is even more boring than she looks. Listening to her talk was like slowly losing oxygen and passing out.
Melissa Leo's outfit. Good God.
Neil Patrick Harris BOMBED. He can be really funny but it was horrible last night. His annoying dancing and singing numbers made everything so much worse.
The opening bit was absolutely dreadful until Conan showed up.
They kept making separate tributes for people who died. It went on forever. It was like the festival of death.
At one point Elton John showed up to sing. I felt like I dropped acid and started seeing things. Why was he there? What was the point?
The Big C is a mini series now? Fuck off. I like Laura Linney but Jessica Lange should have won.
They kept cutting off winners with music. The dead got more attention last night than winners
Bobby Cannavale was good in Boardwalk Empire but the fact they gave it to him over Jonathan Banks in Breaking Bad is ridiculous.
That retarded Audi commercial with Claire Danes that aired in commercial break. I felt violated.
Jeff Daniels won Best actor. I like him a lot but I fucking laughed out loud. Over Cranston? Over Hamm? Over Spacey? Are they crazy?
SARAH PAULSON WAS FUCKING ROBBED. She was clearly pissed off when she lost too.
Who the hell is Carrie Underwood and why is she raping The Beatles' song?
Claire Danes won again and again had as much trouble getting out words as her husband does on Hannibal. I was expecting Mads to appear on stage to explain she is having a mild seizure.
The fact choreographers or dancers or whatever got more time devoted to them than Best Drama series would be funny if it wasn't so incredibly stupid and time wasting.
They got World's lamest and for some reason famous comedian - Will Ferrel - to present two last categories. Shouldn't someone....talented present those? Pacino was there, as was Spacey and Douglas. And this is who they chose?
Breaking Bad won for its worst season. Well done, Emmys.
PROS:
Kevin Spacey turned to camera with mildly annoyed look of superiority on his face and then talked about everything going according to the plan just like his character on House of Cards would do. It was one of the greatest things ever:
Actually each time they showed Spacey it was full of win. We were so in tune in our response to this show.
Tina and Amy were there urging Harris to take his pants off. Then they pretended to have trouble getting on the stage.
I do not know who Merritt Wever is but her speech was cute
Sofia Vergara was presenting and it was hilarious.
Tony Hale was fucking hilarious. He won for Veep, delivered a lovely speech and then when Julia Louis-Dreyfus won for the same show they did this bit where he got with her on stage and stood behind her holding her bag, with his head humbly lowered in fear, and whispering answers in her ear just like he does on the show. Julia delivered the speech the way her character would in her situation. Amazing.
Both Hale and Dreyfus thanked the creator of Veep Armando Ianucci. Ianucci is my God, he created The Thick of It.
Edie Falco's tribute to Gandolfini was brutal to watch
Jim Parsons won for The Big Bang theory again. There is a lot of venom against the show in social media but I love it and Jim's win is always deserved. He is such a humble and sweet person. I loved how again Kaley Cuoco had tears in her eyes during his speech.
Anna Gunn won for Breaking Bad. I hate her character but she completely deserved that award. You know, since Fairley wasn't even nominated.
Aaron Paul's crazy joy and enthusiasm whenever Breaking Bad won something is one of my favorite things in the whole world.
Fincher won and didn't even show up. Like a boss.
Jimmy Fallon was super funny presenting. It breaks my heart that such a funny guy is given such horrendous material on his show.
James Cromwell won for American Horror Story, YEY! I'm so glad at least one person of that incredible ensemble won.
While I didn't think Behind the Candelabra was all that great I'm kinda glad Douglas won because his speech loaded with sexual innuendos towards Matt Damon was absolutely hilarious
When Modern Family won again (rightfully so) its creator commented how it is the saddest Emmys ever. Indeed. I'm glad someone there said it.
And finally while I do think 5A is Breaking Bad's worst season to date it's a good show so at least a good show won.
Don't forget that the entire cast of Breaking Bad and the show's creator Vince Gilligan are going to be on Conan tonight at 11/10c on TBS.
(This is my new avatar, my attitude towards 97% of life and 99% of that ceremony.) 
I watched the Emmys through Twitter this year and I regret nothing. The only thing the Emmys taught to me this year, though, was that I should really watch AHS. I adore your pros list, though, so good to hear it wasn't a total bust.
ReplyDeletePS. The first image in this post isn't working - at least not for me.
AHS is awesome :)
DeleteReally? It's a large gif but it seems to be working fine on multiple browsers for me.
No, it's working now... I don't know, my computer's moody like that. :D
DeleteOh, cool :) mine is insane sometimes too :)
DeleteI so much agree with you when you say that Sarah Paulson was robbed and so was Lange, they both are outstanding in AHS. But even more shocking was Wever winning over Julie Bowen, Sofia Vergara and Jane Krakowski.
ReplyDeleteBut the good thing is that Breaking Bad & Modern Family won top awards.
P.s. I love the choreography dance on AHS and GoT music - both were brilliant
I liked the dance there too, very creative but I thought it was unnecessary, as usually those artistic performances are. It just doesn't apply to anything there, just as that musical number routine.
DeleteThanks for the Conan reminder! I seriously forgot about it. Live tweeting was the best part of the Emmys, I still can't believe how much that bombed. I'm still annoyed that Cory Moneith got a specialized tribute when he died taking drugs, and he wasn't even an Emmy nominee. I get why they did it, it was a huge rating ploy, but come on. There were so many other multiple Emmy nominees/winners they could've chose instead. I hope they never do those segments again, what a buzz kill
ReplyDeleteI still can't believe NO ONE from Game of Thrones was interviewed on the red carpet. (At least E! didn't interview them.) Do they not realize how many fans that show actually has?
I really don't like those memoriam segments unless it's done in classy and brief way - I mean it's an award shows they are supposed to be entertaining, it's nice they are remembering those people but they are always leaving someone behind so that's disrespectful. And sorry but...tribute to a junkie? Really? It's not like he didn't know what he was doing to himself.
DeleteClarke was interviewed on the channel I was watching the red carpet on, she was lovely!
Carrie Underwood destroyed a Beatles song? BITCH MUST DIE!!!!
ReplyDeleteI liked what some of the women wore like Sarah Paulson, Tina Fey (did you see her nipple? :O), Christina Hendricks, Emilia Clarke, Allison Janney, and Sarah Silverman.
I cried during the James Gandolfini tribute.
She sure did :/
DeleteI didn't see Fey's nipple :)
I got teary too, it was a beautiful tribute.
Aaron is such a sweetheart.. he seems so nice and humble! God, I just wanna hug him.
ReplyDeleteHe really is, it makes seeing how fucked up Jesse's life is even worse.
DeleteLOL hilarious.
ReplyDeleteThanks :)
DeleteI wonder who lost more after the robbery, Sarah Paulson's belongings or Michelle Fairley's Emmy award! How could they! Those people are either lying when they say they watch GoT or have no souls!
ReplyDeleteFantasy series are unfortunately unlucky with awards, I'm surprised it even managed to get so many nominations.
DeleteI stopped watching the Emmys a while back. I tried my best to delete Emmy updates from my facebook feed to not avail. I do like AHS, but I liked the 1st season much more than the 2nd. I'm hoping that the 3rd is better. The 2nd season seemed like it was all over the place. If they had just stuck with the Asylum it would have been fine. **SPOILER BELOW**
ReplyDeleteThe alien encounter stuff should have been it's own season IMO.
I think 3rd season will be awesome at least I'm really hoping it will be :) Alien storyline was such a disappointment, Murphy tends to put way too much stuff in his shows.
DeleteDidn't watch it, but im surprised no one said they watch GOT. I mean, its not like these guys would have a hard time affording HBO
ReplyDeletePeople just look down on fantasy I guess. Their loss :)
DeleteThe Kevin Spacey bit and Michael Douglas' speech were the best parts of the show. One collective tribute would've been enough, but Gandolfini's was really touching. Still, I'm just glad I've actually seen one of the big nominees in each category (House of Cards and 30 Rock).
ReplyDeleteThey sure were :) Gandolfini's tribute was amazing but the rest was really...too much.
DeleteThat Veep bit with the two of them was hysterical. Tony Hale is awesome. I kind of tuned out after that.
ReplyDeleteFucking Conan! Doubt there is a man I love more.
Conan and Spacey almost rescued that dreadful opening act :)
DeleteI didn't even see the show but just that gif of Tony Hale and JLD made me crack up!
ReplyDeleteThey were so funny, Hale is definitely the highlight of the show.
DeleteOh god, that Paulson gif is priceless. I agree, robbed.
ReplyDeleteThat Spacey moment totally rocked. I loved it.
Yeah, the Louis-Dreyfus/Hale speech was the show highlight for me. But Falco’s speech… wow.
She looked like she was ready to kill someone :)
DeleteMany good moments but awful ceremony in the end :(
Looks like your blog ate my first comment from the day you posted this. Anyway, too bad the two Danish boys (Mads and Nikolaj) didn't get a nomination :(
ReplyDeleteIt didn't :) http://cinematiccorner.blogspot.com/2013/09/5-biggest-and-most-shocking-omissions.html
DeleteWhile I agree most of the awards show was a drag, I found the skit on the Ryan Seacrest center for Excessive Hosting Disorder to be hilarious! It was really the only truly original and brilliant moment. That and Jim Parsons winning, of course! :)
ReplyDeleteOh that was funny. I liked Harris's costars making an appearance :)
Delete