Saturday, January 18, 2014

19th Annual Critics Choice Awards

By Sati. Saturday, January 18, 2014 ,
  • Fist of all, I'm a big fan of Archer but Aisha Tyler was so awful hosting that ceremony. Wow. Not only was she extremely nervous, awkward and intrusive, talked too fast and too loud and had terrible material, she had issues pronouncing the names of the people she wanted to tell her awful jokes about. Apart from her cool intro of McConaughey late into ceremony, she was just terrible. Jesus Christ, I've never seen Amy Adams more uncomfortable in my life. Everyone looked so confused and bored. It gets worse as then she actually kept responding to people on twitter and facebook in such a rude way even I was appalled. It was kinda like 'I'm a famous (well she isn't, really, because who the fuck knows who she is apart from Archer fans, but that's another matter) actress so I know I was funny because look at me I'm so awesome'. I kinda lost the desire to see Archer premiere after seeing her comments.
  • Oprah was so disgusted. I share that disgust.I mean Tyler said something about going back to the time of slavery. Yeah it was a joke. A fucking poor one.
  • Tyler's toilet humor was so awful. Really? Talking about pee when introducing Meryl Streep and Ben Kingsley? Really? When a joke bombed she actually repeated it one more time 10 minutes later.
  • The look on Seth Rogen's face when DiCaprio was talking about how brilliant Jonah Hill is was priceless. I loved how DiCaprio congratulated him on his Oscar nomination and singled him out of the entire Wolf cast.
  • DiCaprio won and apologized to his parents for everything he does in the movie. Very cute.
  • The categories were insane - Bale got two nominations for Actor in Comedy and Actor.  I mean..what?
  • Martin Scorsese was seated next to Margot Robbie and I've never seen him more happy.
  • Jared Leto won for Best Supporting Actor and Mathew McConaughey won Best Actor. Before reading his name Jessica Chastain called out "Alright, alright!'. That was adorable. If Matt takes SAG tomorrow, that particular race is over.
  •  I don't understand why some people are complaining about Matthew's speeches. I think they're wonderful.
  • But when it comes to speeches there's one winner, Lupita Nyong'o.
  • Jesus Christ, her speech was so beautiful and heartfelt and sincere. I wasn't as blown away by her performance as most people, but what a lovely person and a talented actress.
  • I couldn't stop laughing when she thanked Steve McQueen for his smile and the camera showed him all dead serious, as usual.
  • Let's hope this speech and the fact she got a standing ovation from freaking Oprah means that not only did Lawrence train got derailed, but it also exploded and there were no survivors.
  • Sandra Bullock won for best actress in action movie. And this happened:
  • hilarious Clooney abuse continues:
  • What is more adorable than Leo DiCaprio bringing his mom to Golden Globes? Cate Blanchett bringing one of her three boys to award show and introducing him to everyone, including, apparently, action star Sandra Bullock:
  •  Obviously Cate won. She made a joke her son should be thankful Jasmine isn't his mother. Also, apparently her boy was doing magic tricks for people at the table.
  • Alfonso Cuaron won director and Gravity won in a shitload of tech categories. I'm one happy bunny.
  • American Hustle won some stuff. Let's just move on because that's unpleasant.
  • Jonah Hill and Leonardo DiCaprio are like extremely cute couple:
  • Meanwhile, Jared Leto was running around and I think he managed to be on a picture with everyone there:
  • The one where he is talking to Hill is hilarious. It's like 'let me sit with you'.
  • 12 Years a Slave won Best Drama and I think McQueen actually smiled for moment. It's probably going to win best picture at the Oscars. 10 to 1 they'll get Oprah to present the category.

  • 22 comments:

    1. Great post, the speech by Lupita Nyong'o was so lovely and she looked so stunning.

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    2. I need to catch up on all the speeches! Leo looks flawless as always haha

      Great post :)

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      1. Lupita speech is really amazing, I bet it's somewhere on youtube

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    3. According to this post, THIS seems to have been the award show to watch.

      Seeing Tyler cash and burn was likely hilarious.

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      1. It was actually quite embarrassing to witness but Streep's 'why did I bother to show up tonight' face was hilarious :P

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    4. Great post! Like you, I really couldn't bare to listen to Tyler for most of the show. The "critics hate everything but give out awards" jokes was as overused as the inappropriate peeing jokes.
      Such a cute collection of JCaprio pictures! They really are having the best time this award show season. Still stumped and amazed Margot is not nominated for everything, and can I repeat: she's 23 and has the perfection of Grace Kelly. FUCK.

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      1. She was terrible!

        She is so beautiful and she was really wonderful in Wolf!

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    5. lol love the gifs! Aisha definitely had a few misses, but I still love her coolness. Lupita is just lovely, as is Matt Mc and Jared Leto--who I just love to watch even on mute lol.

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      1. These 3 are awesome, hope they'll get their Oscars

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    6. Great post! I'm bummed I didn't get to watch this. I would've liked to have heard some of those speeches. I didn't think Leto's hair could look worse than it did in that ponytail, but I see I have been proved wrong..

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      1. Leto's hair is like separate organism that has mind of its own :P

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    7. I'm glad I didn't watch the awards because I always thought of it as another lame awards show w/ some shitty house band. If I was at that awards, I would throw things at the band and tell them to get the fuck off the stage. I guess Jonah Hill is more popular than ever. Bradley Cooper and Michael Fassbender wants to hang out w/ him.

      I'm glad you covered the funny moments as I'm sure I want to avoid Aisha Tyler's hosting.

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      1. Yeah it's a pretty lousy ceremony, but at least the actors' speeches redeem it a bit.

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    8. Can Leonardo DiCaprio and Jonah Hill just get married? Haha.

      Okay. So I have this theory about the best actor race. You can call me crazy, but hear me out: Leo and Matty M will never be put against each other until the Oscars. Leo has won the awards for comedic actor, Matty M has won the awards for dramatic actor (sure, they place more importance on the dramatic acting thing, but still). Leo wasn't nominated for the SAG, so if Matty M wins that, that's okay. Leo is nominated for the BAFTA, where Matty M is not nominated. In theory, the two are neck and neck. I don't know, I just have a lot of hope, but I think Leo has a way better chance than people are giving him credit for.

      And man, I cried so much during Lupita's speech. Such a lovely girl.

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      1. They are so adorbs together!

        Yeah but the reason Matt isn't nominated is that barely anyone saw DBC in Britain. I think it's a race between those two, that's for sure but given the Academy members response to Wolf during the screenings I'm shocked it did as well as it did nomination-wise.

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    9. This is awesome! Missed the show but loved all these pics and gifs! Thanks for sharing!

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      1. You're welcome, glad you liked it! :)

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    10. This post is so awesome that I feel like you were there snapping every amazing Leo/Jonah shot. Those are fan.tas.tic. And Lupita's speech...so very humble and gracious...go gurl.

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      1. I want to be the official photographer on their wedding :P

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    11. Go Leo! I'm still hoping for a BAFTA boost and an Oscar win. :)

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      1. BAFTA is possible but I have a better chance at scoring with Clooney than Leo has at winning this year, it seems miraculous to me they even nominated him for a movie that had such insane reception at screenings, with booing and everything.

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