19th Annual Critics Choice Awards

Fist of all, I'm a big fan of Archer but Aisha Tyler was so awful hosting that ceremony. Wow. Not only was she extremely nervous, awkward and intrusive, talked too fast and too loud and had terrible material, she had issues pronouncing the names of the people she wanted to tell her awful jokes about. Apart from her cool intro of McConaughey late into ceremony, she was just terrible. Jesus Christ, I've never seen Amy Adams more uncomfortable in my life. Everyone looked so confused and bored. It gets worse as then she actually kept responding to people on twitter and facebook in such a rude way even I was appalled. It was kinda like 'I'm a famous (well she isn't, really, because who the fuck knows who she is apart from Archer fans, but that's another matter) actress so I know I was funny because look at me I'm so awesome'. I kinda lost the desire to see Archer premiere after seeing her comments.

Oprah was so disgusted. I share that disgust.I mean Tyler said something about going back to the time of slavery. Yeah it was a joke. A fucking poor one.

Tyler's toilet humor was so awful. Really? Talking about pee when introducing Meryl Streep and Ben Kingsley? Really? When a joke bombed she actually repeated it one more time 10 minutes later.

The look on Seth Rogen's face when DiCaprio was talking about how brilliant Jonah Hill is was priceless. I loved how DiCaprio congratulated him on his Oscar nomination and singled him out of the entire Wolf cast.

DiCaprio won and apologized to his parents for everything he does in the movie. Very cute.

The categories were insane - Bale got two nominations for Actor in Comedy and Actor.  I mean..what?

Martin Scorsese was seated next to Margot Robbie and I've never seen him more happy.

Jared Leto won for Best Supporting Actor and Mathew McConaughey won Best Actor. Before reading his name Jessica Chastain called out "Alright, alright!'. That was adorable. If Matt takes SAG tomorrow, that particular race is over.

 I don't understand why some people are complaining about Matthew's speeches. I think they're wonderful.

But when it comes to speeches there's one winner, Lupita Nyong'o.

Jesus Christ, her speech was so beautiful and heartfelt and sincere. I wasn't as blown away by her performance as most people, but what a lovely person and a talented actress.

I couldn't stop laughing when she thanked Steve McQueen for his smile and the camera showed him all dead serious, as usual.

Let's hope this speech and the fact she got a standing ovation from freaking Oprah means that not only did Lawrence train got derailed, but it also exploded and there were no survivors.

Sandra Bullock won for best actress in action movie. And this happened:

hilarious Clooney abuse continues:

What is more adorable than Leo DiCaprio bringing his mom to Golden Globes? Cate Blanchett bringing one of her three boys to award show and introducing him to everyone, including, apparently, action star Sandra Bullock:

 Obviously Cate won. She made a joke her son should be thankful Jasmine isn't his mother. Also, apparently her boy was doing magic tricks for people at the table.

Alfonso Cuaron won director and Gravity won in a shitload of tech categories. I'm one happy bunny.

American Hustle won some stuff. Let's just move on because that's unpleasant.

Jonah Hill and Leonardo DiCaprio are like extremely cute couple:

Meanwhile, Jared Leto was running around and I think he managed to be on a picture with everyone there:

The one where he is talking to Hill is hilarious. It's like 'let me sit with you'.

12 Years a Slave won Best Drama and I think McQueen actually smiled for moment. It's probably going to win best picture at the Oscars. 10 to 1 they'll get Oprah to present the category.